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5 Easy Steps To Conquer Your Fears

5 Easy Steps To Conquer Your Fears

When I started my business a few years back, I had no idea how much fear would come up for me. I was amazed at how crippling the grip of fear was and how helpless I felt. I knew that I needed to quickly learn some tools and techniques to help me breakthrough my fears and keep moving forward, otherwise I could kiss my dream goodbye.

I learnt these two important principles

  • I learnt that fear will always be there when we put ourselves out of our comfort zone and that isn’t bad. Fear is actually essential, it is our survival signal and what has kept us alive all these years.
  • I also learnt that having a goal to be fearless is not realistic; instead, you need to look it straight in the eye and tell it to get out of your way, because it will always come up at different parts of your life, but it mustn’t stop you.

Fear can keep you from following your dreams, it can keep you from living the life you want and doing the things you desire, but it doesn’t need to be this way. One of the biggest mistakes you might be making, is taking fear at face value.

You see, fear can be real or imagined, and your body cannot differentiate between the two, so it will do whatever it can to keep you away from this ‘imagined’ fear, no matter what the cost might be. Imagined fear has nothing to do with reality, it is related to your beliefs and your individual perspective of the world.

I do a few things when I feel my worst enemy approaching, you know what I mean; that horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach, accelerated heart beat and discouraging voice in your head.

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Here is what works for me…

1. Rational or Irrational?

Ask yourself what part of this fear is rational and what part is irrational. If your fear is rational, what can you do to reduce your fear?

If your fear is irrational, you might need to take on another perspective of the situation that will support you better.
For example: A fear of public speaking

Rational: I will forget my words, the equipment won’t work, etc
Steps to move forward: Practice your speech 10 times over so you don’t forget it. Arrive at the venue earlier to test everything and ensure it works. Have a plan B, if for some reason you can’t use the equipment, etc

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Irrational: Everyone will laugh and people will point fingers
Steps to move forward: People are not that cruel, well hopefully you are not talking in front of an uneducated crowd like that. It is normal to have a fear of being ridiculed, but don’t focus on this. Learn ways to become more confident and deal with any limiting beliefs you might have.

2. The Worst and Best

Most of the time we don’t even consider what is the worst that can actually happen. We assume the worst is something inconceivable because we are only paying attention to our feelings. Ask yourself what is the worst that can happen, and keep on asking, “And then? And then?” When we actually look at the worst that can happen, we realize that it isn’t so bad at all.

Then focus on what is the best that can happen if you do this, get crystal clear on the benefits of how this will improve your life. When you have clarity on the worst and the best, you will start to feel more motivated to keep pushing forward, because the best is almost always a million times better than the worst.

3. Challenge your thoughts

Most of the time you probably accept the thoughts that bombard your mind everyday as the truth, and worse, you act on them. Your thoughts come from your beliefs and your beliefs about the world were formed from your family, friends, and other influences in life. You have developed beliefs that support you and you have developed beliefs that don’t support you as well. If you don’t challenge your thoughts and instead accept them as the truth, you are setting your self up for self sabotage.

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Ask yourself; is this a fact or a belief? If it is a belief, challenge it if it isn’t supporting you.

4. Using images

This is a really powerful tool that is completely underutilized. Your mind actually responds much better to images and you might not be tapping into this. When you have no idea how something will work out or play out, you can imagine all kinds of scenarios, unfortunately mostly negative ones.

Find a quiet place and try doing this for 5 minutes. In your mind’s eye, imagine the outcome that you would love, see it in bright colors, hear the words you want to hear, feel what you want to feel.

If you can make this picture alive and see the outcome you really want, your mind will start to calm down immediately. Try it!

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5. Talk about it

Lastly, talk about it! We all share similar fears and there is a wealth of advice out there to help you move forward. Don’t suffer alone. When you talk about your fears, you release the negative built up energy and so you will automatically feel better.

Don’t give into something that you really can control, you have more strength inside you then you know. It is better to face your fears now and enjoy the reward than to give up on your dreams and face that later.

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Kirstin O´Donovan

Certified Life and Productivity Coach, Founder and CEO of TopResultsCoaching

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Last Updated on May 17, 2019

This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

The pursuit of worthwhile goals is a part of what makes life enjoyable. Being able to set a goal, then see yourself progress towards achieving that goal is an amazing feeling.

But do you know the biggest obstacle for most people trying to achieve their goals, the silent dream killer that stops people before they ever even get started? That obstacle is the comfort zone, and getting stuck there is bound to derail any efforts you make towards achieving the goals you’ve set for yourself.

If you want to achieve those goals, you’ll have to break free from your comfort zone. Let’s take a look at how your life will change once you build up the courage to leave your comfort zone.

What Is the Comfort Zone?

The comfort zone is defined as “a behavioural state within which a person operates in an anxiety-neutral condition, using a limited set of behaviours to deliver a steady level of performance.”

What stands out to me the most about that definition is the last part: “using a limited set of behaviours to deliver a steady level of performance.” How many successful people do you know who deliver a steady level of performance?

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The goal in life is to continually challenge yourself, and continually improve yourself. And in order to do that, you have move out of your comfort zone. But once you do, your life will start to change in ways you could never have imagined. I know because it’s happening right now in my own life.

Here’s what I’ve learned.

1. You will be scared

Leaving your comfort zone isn’t easy. In fact, in can be downright terrifying at times, and that’s okay. It’s perfectly normal to feel a little trepidation when you’re embarking on a journey that forces you to try new things.

So don’t freak out or get overwhelmed when you feel yourself getting a little scared. It’s perfectly normal and all part of the process. What’s important is that you don’t let that fear hold you back. You must continue to take action in the face of fear.

That’s what separates winners from losers.

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2. You will fail

Stepping out of your comfort zone means you’re moving into uncharted territory. You’re trying things that you’ve never tried before, and learning things you’ve never learned before.

That steep learning curve means you’re not going to get everything right the first time, and you will eventually fail when you move out of your comfort zone. But as long as the failures aren’t catastrophic, it can actually be a good thing to fail because …

3. You will learn

Failure is the best teacher. I’ve learned more from each one of my failures than I have from each one of my successes. When you fail small, and fail often, you rapidly increase the rate at which you learn new insights and skills. And that new knowledge, if applied correctly, will eventually lead to your success.

4. You will see yourself in a different way

Once you move out of your comfort zone, you immediately prove to yourself that you’re capable of achieving more than you thought was possible. And that will change the way you see yourself.

Moving forward, you’ll have more confidence in yourself whenever you step out of your comfort zone, and that increased confidence will make it more likely that you continue to step outside your comfort zone. And each time you do, you’ll prove to yourself again and again what you’re really capable of.

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5. Your peers will see you in a different way

Whether we want to admit or not, people judge other people. And right now, people view you in a certain way, and they have a certain idea of what you’re capable of. That’s because they’ve become accustomed to seeing you operate in your comfort zone.

But once you move out of your comfort zone, you’ll prove to other people, as well, that you’re capable of much more than you’ve shown in the past.

The increased confidence other people place in you will bring about more opportunities than ever before.

6. Your comfort zone will expand

The good thing about the comfort zone is that it’s flexible and malleable. With each action you take outside of your comfort zone, it expands. And once you master that new skill or action, it eventually becomes part of your comfort zone.

This is great news for you because it means that you can constantly increase and improve upon the behaviors that you’re comfortable with. And the more tools and skills you have at your disposal, the easier it will be to achieve your goals.

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7. You will increase your concentration and focus

When you’re living inside of your comfort zone, the bulk of your actions are habitual: automatic, subconscious, and requiring limited focus.

But once you move out of your comfort zone, you no longer rely on those habitual responses. You’re forced to concentrate and focus on the new action in a way you never do in your comfort zone.

8. You will develop new skills

Moving out of your comfort zone requires that you develop new skills. One of the many benefits you’ll experience is that you’ll be stepping away from the “limited set of behaviors” and start to develop your ability and expertise in new areas.

Living inside of your comfort zone only requires a limited skill set, and those skills won’t contribute much to your success. Once you can confidently step outside of your comfort zone and learn a new skill, there’s no limit to how much you can achieve.

9. You will achieve more than before

With everything that happens once you move out of your comfort zone, you’re naturally going to achieve more than ever before.

Your increased concentration and focus will help you develop new skills. Those new skills will change the way you see yourself, encouraging you to step even further out of your comfort zone.

Featured photo credit: Josef Grunig via farm3.staticflickr.com

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