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40 Ways To Let Go And Feel Relieved

40 Ways To Let Go And Feel Relieved

Whether you’re angry with something a co-worker said yesterday or you’re harboring deep resentment from your childhood, learning how to let go of those things can be important to your physical and mental well-being. Practice these strategies to help you let go and experience relief.

1. Write an Angry Letter and Burn It

Sometimes watching your problems go up in flames can make the problem seem to disappear.

2. Journal About Your Feelings

Writing things down can offer you perspective.

3. Set Aside Time to Meditate

Meditation can resolve many unresolved feelings.

4. Learn and Practice Mindfulness Skills

Focus on the here-and-now and allow your problems to slip away.

5. Recognize Physical Symptoms of Stress

Identify when stress is taking a toll on your health so you can make changes accordingly.

6. Identify and Replace Destructive Thoughts

Destructive thoughts can make you feel worse. Replace overly negative thoughts with more realistic ones.

7. Engage in Regular Exercise

Exercise can reduce stress and keep your mind and body healthy.

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8. Get Plenty of Rest

Sometimes a good night’s sleep offers a fresh perspective that may allow you to let go of whatever’s bothering you.

9. Talk to a Friend About the Problem

Talking to a friend can offer you a different point of view about how to let go.

10. Talk to a Friend About Something Other than the Problem

Talking about something other than the problem can also help you get your mind off things.

11. Participate in Problem-Solving

Develop a list of what would need to happen to help you let go of the problem.

12. Practice Deep Breathing

Deep breathing relieves stress and clears the mind. It can calm your emotions so you can take a logical approach about how to let go of the issue.

13. Establish Goals

Rather than focus on the past, establish goals for the future.

14. Use Guided Imagery

Guided imagery offers a break from ruminating on the current problem.

15. Reflect Without Judgment

Reflect on the events that transpired without placing blame on yourself or anyone else. Stick the facts, and it may help you find out how to let go of the issue.

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16. Draft a No-Mail Letter

If you’re mad at someone else, or even an inanimate object, creating a letter that expressing your feelings can be very helpful. Throw away the letter when you’re done and move on.

17. Ask Yourself How Important this Issue will be in 5 Years

Often the things we can’t let go of seem like a big deal. However, many of those things won’t matter at all in the future. Ask yourself how important this problem will be to the rest of your life.

18. Accept What You Can’t Control

Practice accepting that you can’t control everything.

19. Practice Loving Others

Focusing on your love for others can help other problems melt away.

20. Imagine the Problem Floating Away in a Balloon

Visualizing the problem floating away can help you let it go.

21. Perform Random Acts of Kindness

Contributing to another person’s happiness will change your focus.

22. Remember that Pain is Normal

Pain in life is inevitable and it can help you build character.

23. Distract Yourself

Don’t ruminate on the issue. Instead, engage in an activity to take your mind off it.

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24. Look at the Big Picture

Remind yourself of the big picture in life and it can be easier to let go of something from your past.

25. Empathize with the Other Person

If you can’t let go of something another person did, try to develop some empathy for how that person might have felt.

26. Ask Yourself What Advice You Would Offer to a Friend Who Had this Problem

Often it’s easy to be more logical when you give advice to a friend. Ask yourself what recommendation you would give a friend about how to let go of something and then take your own advice.

27. Accept Your Responsibility

Accept any responsibility you had in the situation, even if it were a small piece.

28. Repeat Positive Affirmations

Develop some positive statements to repeat over and over such as, “I will be okay.”

29. Seek Spiritual Comfort

No matter what type of spiritual beliefs you have, look for comfort in your spirituality.

30. Be Grateful for What You Have

Remind yourself of all the things you have to be grateful for.

31. Visualize the Problem Shrinking

Imagine the problem slowly shrinking until it finally disappears.

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32. Learn From Your Mistakes

Chalk the situation up to a life lesson that you can learn from and take something away from it.

33. Plan for the Future

Look toward the future and it can help you let go of the past.

34. Practice Loving Yourself

Be kind and take care of yourself so that you can set yourself up for success.

35. Develop a Plan

Determine what steps you can take to deal with the situation instead of avoiding it.

36. Identify the Consequences of Not Letting Go

Make a list of the potential consequences of not letting go to help encourage yourself to actually let go.

37. Adjust Your Expectations

Remember that no one is perfect and life isn’t fair. When you adjust your expectations it can help remind you that problems are a part of life that happen to everyone.

38. Listen to Music

The psychology of music shows it is a great way to elicit hidden emotions and promote healing.

39. Behave Assertively

If your feelings are hurt, speak up in a tactful manner.

40. Seek Professional Help

If you can’t let go of something and it’s impacting your life, seek professional help. A counselor can assist you in letting go.

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Amy Morin

A psychotherapist, psychology instructor, keynote speaker, and the author of the bestselling book 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

Reference

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