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If You Don’t Stop Doing These, You’ll Waste the Rest of Your Life

If You Don’t Stop Doing These, You’ll Waste the Rest of Your Life

The modern world is fast paced and time often seems to slip by with us barely noticing. It’s for that reason that it’s important that we don’t spend time or attention on things that are frivolous, negative or just plan stupid. Check out our comprehensive guide to things you shouldn’t be wasting your time on, and see if there’s anything on this guide that you can cut out of your life.

1. Putting Makeup on for the gym and sports

    It looks weird and it’s only going to melt off, which negates the purpose of putting it on in the first place.

    2. Hitting ‘snooze’

      Get your lazy butt out of bed. You set your alarm for a legitimate reason.

      3. Constantly refreshing Facebook

        Try living life rather than waiting for an acquaintance to update you on how their lunch is going.

        4. Doing things you hate

          Life is far too short to waste your time on doing something you hate. By that, I mean doing unnecessary things. You should probably still wash up and whatnot.

          5. Checking your phone constantly

            Did you hear your message tone? Did it ring? If you answered ‘no’ to either of those questions, put the phone down and back away slowly. No, you don’t need it when you go to the bathroom.

            6. Dwelling on problems

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              In the immortal words of Vanilla Ice, “If there was a problem. Yo, I’ll solve it.” Instead of wasting time by dwelling on a problem, work out what you can do to fix it.

              7. Worrying

                It’s similar to above. Stop worrying and start working towards a solution.

                8. Caring what others think

                  Unless you’re getting good advice from people you love, disregard it. It doesn’t matter what other people think of you, you need to stay true to yourself. Don’t waste your time, thoughts, and energy on what others think. Be proud to be yourself.

                  9. Staying online late into the night

                    It’s not only a waste of time now, but will probably result in you sleeping half the day away tomorrow, or being unproductive at work or school. There’s nothing so important that you need to stay online for it until 3 am. No, not even Tumblr.

                    10. Celebrity culture

                      Stop giving a flying spaghetti monster about the Krapdashians, or how you look compared to the entirety of Hollywood. They’re all Photoshopped. Thighs are supposed to touch.

                      11. Procrastinating

                        Just do it.

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                        12. Playing romantic games

                          You can waste years not telling someone how you feel out of fear. Grow a pair of ovaries and tell them. If they’re not digging it, at least you’ll have the chance to move on. If they feel the same the only regret you’ll have is the days, weeks, and months you could have already had together.

                          13. Feeding the Trolls

                            It’s what they want. Stop before you go into a rage blackout.

                            14. Photographing everything

                              Instead of trying to document your life, live it. The internet will actually survive without the bathroom selfie of you and a ham sandwich, or whatever it is that you’re into.

                              15. Holding Grudges

                                Life’s too short! Forgive and be positive.

                                16. Complaining

                                  Complaining really won’t get you anywhere, and the only person who it’s hurting is you. Start thinking positively. Figure out how to make your life more complaint-free.

                                  17. Eating Out of Boredom

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                                    This kind of eating is a bad idea all-around. If you’re bored, it means you’re wasting time. Find something productive to do. Put some work in towards a goal or a dream. These would be much better uses of your time than visiting the fridge for the seventh time this hour.

                                    18. Waiting for something to happen

                                      The world isn’t going to wait for you. Go after what you want.

                                      19. Constantly updating your status

                                        This is not living. No one cares that your left flip flop broke on the way to the bin.

                                        20. Indecision

                                          Indecision often stems from fear. Deep down, you’re likely to know what decision you want to make.

                                          21. Hanging around negative people

                                            The people in your life shouldn’t be a constant stream of negativity. Give them the figurative (or even literal) bird, and find some positive people to spend time with. You’ll feel a whole lot happier and enjoy life more.

                                            22. Watching TV

                                              A little TV is okay, but it shouldn’t be the center of your universe. Instead of watching other people have adventures, have some of your own.

                                              23. Watching Reality TV

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                                                If you’re watching TV, make it something halfway decent. Don’t waste your time with frivolous half-scripted crap that networks pump out so they don’t have to pay real writers. Avoid the bottom shelf stuff. There’s too many great shows out there.

                                                24. Pinning things

                                                  Stop day-dreaming of amazing things on Pinterest, and start doing them.

                                                  25. Brands

                                                    All that expensive crap you covet really isn’t that special, despite the heinous price tag. They’re likely to be exploiting just as many third-world children as the cheap labels. Get over brand name obsession and spend your time and money on something worthier.

                                                    26. Gossip

                                                      I know it can be juicy and kind of fun, but it really gets you nowhere.

                                                      27. Unrequited love

                                                        This can be one of the hardest things to let go of, but you simply must. Unrequited means that you probably know that they’re not interested. Why waste your time on that when you can be working on being happy? When you find the right person for you, you’ll lament all the wasted time spent on someone who didn’t care.

                                                        28. Popping pimples

                                                          Do you really want to end up like the crater-faced guy from Grease? I didn’t think so.

                                                          29. Being glued to your phone

                                                            Not only does this make you miss the world going on around you, it’s also just plain rude in a social situation.

                                                            30. Reading This

                                                              Just kidding, I write amazing things worthy of your time.

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                                                              Tegan Jones

                                                              Tegan is a passionate journalist, writer and editor. She writes about lifestyle tips on Lifehack.

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                                                              Published on May 4, 2021

                                                              How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

                                                              How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

                                                              They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

                                                              In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

                                                              How to Spot Fake People?

                                                              When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

                                                              Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

                                                              1. Full of Themselves

                                                              Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

                                                              Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

                                                              2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

                                                              Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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                                                              It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

                                                              3. Zero Self-Reflection

                                                              To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

                                                              Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

                                                              4. Unrealistic Perceptions

                                                              Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

                                                              A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

                                                              5. Love Attention

                                                              As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

                                                              6. People Pleaser

                                                              Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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                                                              Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

                                                              7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

                                                              Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

                                                              8. Crappy friend

                                                              Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

                                                              It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

                                                              The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

                                                              How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

                                                              It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

                                                              There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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                                                              1. Boundaries

                                                              Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

                                                              2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

                                                              Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

                                                              3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

                                                              If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

                                                              4. Ask for Advice

                                                              If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

                                                              Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

                                                              5. Dig Deeper

                                                              Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

                                                              Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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                                                              6. Practice Self-Care!

                                                              Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

                                                              Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

                                                              Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

                                                              Final Thoughts

                                                              Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

                                                              We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

                                                              More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

                                                              Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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