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30 lessons I’ve learned on reaching 30

30 lessons I’ve learned on reaching 30

I reached 30 and I would love to share what life has taught me till now. Hope you will get some insights.

1. Expectation leads to misery

Do not expect anything; just accept everything or else you will be the scapegoat of misery. Expectation-desperation-misery is a chain reaction that leads to predicaments.

2. Less is more

Minimalism is the new cult now. Give away, get rid of, throw away and do whatever you can to go minimal. It sets you free.

3. Legitimate suffering is part of life

You cannot escape suffering; conflict is perennial. If you are a part of the problem, then you are a part of the solution too. Just face the conflict and be ready to suffer legitimately.

4. Love eludes when you chase it

Love is like a butterfly, it’s hard to catch when you chase it. It slowly lands on your shoulder when you least expect it. Love yourself first in a way you can share that abundance. Butterflies are waiting.

5. Vulnerability fosters intimacy

To be flawed is to be human. Intimacy cannot be fostered by strength, the real connection happens only when we are courageous enough to share our deepest fears.

6. Write down N.U.T.s

Have some Non Negotiated – Unaltered Terms (N.U.T.s) in your life. Write them down and be disciplined enough to send clear signals to the people who wanted to invade your personal boundaries.

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7. Illusion of control is a mirage

Accept the fact that you cannot control everything. If you do so – you will be relieved from the enormous stress of controlling. Moreover, nobody likes a control freak.

8. We create our own reality

I used to blame situations initially, now I truly believe in the fact that we create our own reality. I think therefore I am. Invest in personal charisma to create the situations that favor you.

9. Excel in what people need

It is not enough to pursue the passion you love, it has to be in sync with people’s needs too or else you end up blaming the universe for digging you. Give what people need and find love in it – the universe works that way.

10. Do what you believe in even when no one else does

“The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.” – Steve Jobs

Just believe and relentlessly work hard – you will find the treasure.

11. What you focus on is what you get

This was proven in my case. Focus on the positive and you tend to see the negative aspects in a lighter vein. Similarly, focus on the negative and you tend to see the positive aspects in a cynical way. What you focus on is what you get. It’s all in you.

12. Habits die-hard

The paradox of our brain is, it gets accustomed to any habit and can’t spot the difference between a bad habit and good habit. So beware of habits – they decide your destiny.

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13. Social networking is “SOCIAL NOT WORKING”

Social networking is an epidemic today. It is a great thing to a certain extent but not at the expense of our happiness. Find life outside the web, the universe is calling you.

14. Money is what you get in exchange for value

Of late, I used to think that money is the result of my excellence. Of course it is; but only when my excellence provides some value to the existence of mankind. Provide true value and you will never run out of money.

15. Exercise – Exercise – Exercise

Exercise not only burns calories, but also your insecurities. Pump up yourself and be amazed to see the new self with vigor and vitality. Trust me, you don’t give a damn for the people who once made you feel stupid.

16. A purpose driven life is fulfilling

Life without a purpose is like a ship searching for the harbor. You need to have a light house to guide you. The purpose in life is the light house to steer you towards a fulfilling and meaningful life.

17. Leading means living by an example

Leading is attractive but it is only short lived if you lead with power, money, fame etc. Just try leading by example – people will follow and surrender to you completely. History is the evidence.

18. Talent is different from skill

You might have a talent, but it is futile if you don’t practice. You need skill to hone your talent. Skill can only be achieved with diligent practice and dedication. Strive for the combo – you will be eternal.

19. There is a difference between “Goal Reaching” and “Goal Setting”

Reaching a goal is a discipline, setting a goal is a decision. If you just dream of the goal, nothing will happen unless you act with discipline upon the process of reaching your goal.

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20. Today matters

“If I could come to your house and spend just one day with you, I would be able to tell whether or not you will be successful.” – John C. Maxwell

Tomorrow is never bound to be better unless you have a strategy to make it better. Today.

21. Instead of To-Do lists, have Should-DO list

Multitasking is a menace today. To fight the demon, have Should-Do lists instead of To-Do lists. You end up doing things on-time that matter most rather than wasting time on the junk. Really think about what the most important things on you To-Do list are and which you should defintely do in order to move forward. Those are the ones that count.

22. Give to get

Give, not as a strategy but by habit – you will surely get what you deserve. I’ve disclosed the secret to you, now find out ways where you can give truly and receive accordingly. It works, I promise.

23. Our true reality is in our identity and unity with all life

Our existence is determined by our identity and unity with mankind. Whoever tries to curb or disturb the process of life, they simply perish. You can only get what is yours by giving the other person what is rightfully his or hers.

24. Answers are in the Nature

Rocks become shallow by the constant trickle of water drops for decades, tells us the power of persistence in life. For all the confusions in life, you can seek answers from the Nature with observation and keenness.

 25. The circle of life is complete

“What one has done in the secret chamber one has some day to cry out aloud on the house top” – Oscar Wilde

The circle of life is complete at the end, whatever you do, it returns back with the same force. Be cautious.

26. All glory is fleeting

“Your reputation is who people think you are; your character is who you really are.” – John Wooden

Remember, all glory is fleeting. There’s nothing more healing than living in the truth and presenting yourself as who you really are.

27. Brace yourself for impact

Life is fragile; you never know what happens next. Leave no remnants, love life and live consciously, make your mark, pursue the passion and that urgency, that purpose will really make a difference in your life.

28. By virtue of nothing, you gain something

It is skeptical but true. Mother Nature is abundant and resourceful, yet she never claims – that’s how she is eternal. That eternal status is attributed only when one is humble enough to accredit the virtue of nothing.

29.  Desire is the bait, fear is the hook

Beyond the perils of desire and fear happens life. Do not get succumbed by these in the process of achieving greater good. If you resist those; the universe will conspire for your success.

30. Have no regret on your death bed

Finally forgive, forget and say your I love yous, thank who you are grateful for – trust me you won’t want any regrets when you’re in your deathbed. Do it now.

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KAMAL SUCHARAN BURRI

Founding Director, Newlight Cinemas

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Last Updated on November 26, 2020

How Relationships Building Helps Achieve Career Success

How Relationships Building Helps Achieve Career Success

As playwright Wilson Mizner supposedly said all the way back in the 1930s,

“Be kind to everyone on the way up; you will meet the same people on the way down.”

The adage is the perfect prototype for relationship building in 2020, although we may want to expand Mizner’s definition of “kind” to include being helpful, respectful, grateful, and above all, crediting your colleagues along the way.

5 Ways to Switch on Your Relationship Building Magnetism

Relationship building does not come easily to all. Today’s computer culture makes us more insular and less likely to reach out—not to mention our new work-from-home situation in which we are only able to interact virtually. Still, relationship building remains an important part of career engagement and success, and it gets better with practice.

Here are five ways you can strengthen your relationships:

1. Advocate for Other’s Ideas

Take the initiative to speak up in support of other team members’ good ideas. Doing so lets others know that the team’s success takes precedence over your needs for personal success. Get behind any colleague’s innovative approach or clever solution and offer whatever help you can give to see it through. Teammates will value your vote of confidence and your support.

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2. Show Compassion

If you learn that someone whom you work with has encountered difficult times, reach out. If it’s not someone you know well, a hand-written card expressing your sympathy and hopes for better times ahead could be an initial gesture. If it’s someone with whom you interact regularly, the act could involve offering to take on some of the person’s work to provide a needed reprieve or even bringing in a home-cooked dish as a way to offer comfort. The show of compassion will not go unnoticed, and your relationship building will have found a foothold.

3. Communicate Regularly

Make an effort to share any information with team members that will help them do their jobs more effectively. Keeping people in the loop says a lot about your consideration for what others need to deliver their best results.

Try to discover the preferred mode of communication for each team member. Some people are fine relying on emails; others like to have a phone conversation. And once we can finally return to working together in offices, you may determine that face-to-face updates may be most advantageous for some members.

4. Ask for Feedback

Showing your willingness to reach out for advice and guidance will make a positive impression on your boss. When you make it clear that you welcome and can accept pointers, you display candor and trust in what opinions your superior has to offer. Your proclivity towards considering ways of improving your performance and strengthening any working interactions will signal your strong relationship skills.

If you are in a work environment where you are asked to give feedback, be generous and compassionate. That does not mean being wishy-washy. Try always to give the type of feedback that you wouldn’t mind receiving.

5. Give Credit Where It’s Due

Be the worker who remembers to credit staffers with their contributions. It’s a surprisingly rare talent to credit others, but when you do so, they will remember to credit you, and the collective credit your team will accrue will be well worth the effort.

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How Does Relationship Building Build Careers?

Once you have strengthened and deepened your relationships, here are some of the great benefits:

Work Doesn’t Feel So Much Like Work

According to a Gallup poll, when you have a best friend at work, you are more likely to feel engaged with your job. Work is more fun when you have positive, productive relationships with your colleagues. Instead of spending time and energy overcoming difficult personalities, you can spend time enjoying the camaraderie with colleagues as you work congenially on projects together. When your coworkers are your friends, time goes by quickly and challenges don’t weigh as heavily.

You Can Find Good Help

It’s easier to ask for assistance when you have a good working relationship with a colleague. And with office tasks changing at the speed of technology, chances are that you are going to need some help acclimating—especially now that work has gone remote due to the COVID-19 pandemic.

Much of relationship building rests on your genuine expressions of appreciation toward others. Showing gratitude for another’s help or for their willingness to put in the extra effort will let them know you value them.

Mentors Come Out of the Woodwork

Mentors are proven to advance your professional and career development. A mentor can help you navigate how to approach your work and keep you apprised of industry trends. They have a plethora of experience to draw from that can be invaluable when advising you on achieving career success and advancement.

Mentors flock to those who are skilled at relationship building. So, work on your relationships and keep your eyes peeled for a worthy mentor.

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You Pull Together as a Team

Great teamwork starts with having an “abundance mentality” rather than a scarcity mentality. Too often, workers view all projects through a scarcity mentality lens. This leads to office strife as coworkers compete for their piece of the pie. But in an abundance mentality mode, you focus on the strengths that others bring rather than the possibility that they are potential competitors.

Instead, you can commit relationship building efforts to ensure a positive work environment rather than an adversarial one. When you let others know that you intend to support their efforts and contribute to their success, they will respond in kind. Go, team!

Your Network Expands and So Does Your Paycheck

Expand your relationship building scope beyond your coworkers to include customers, suppliers, and other industry stakeholders. Your extra efforts can lead to extra sales, a more rewarding career, and even speedy professional advancement. And don’t overlook the importance of building warm relationships with assistants, receptionists, or even interns.

Take care to build bridges, not just to your boss and your boss’s boss but with those that work under you as well. You may find that someone who you wouldn’t expect will put in a good word for you with your supervisor.

Building and maintaining good working relationships with everyone you come in contact with can pay off in unforeseen ways. You never know when that underling will turn out to be the company’s “golden child.” Six years from now you may be turning to them for a job. If you have built up a good, trusting work relationship with others along your way, you will more likely be considered for positions that any of these people may be looking to fill.

Your Job Won’t Stress You Out

Study shows that some 83 percent of American workers experience work-related stress.[1] Granted, some of that stress is now likely caused by the new pandemic-triggered workplace adjustments, yet bosses and management, in general, are reportedly the predominant source of stress for more than one-third of workers.

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Having meaningful connections among coworkers is the best way to make work less stressful. Whether it is having others whom to commiserate with, bounce ideas off, or bring out your best performance, friendships strengthen the group’s esprit de corps and lower the stress level of your job.

Your Career Shines Bright

Who would you feel better about approaching to provide a recommendation or ask for promotion: a cold, aloof boss with whom you have only an impersonal relationship or one that knows you as a person and with whom you have built a warm, trusting relationship?

Your career advancement will always excel when you have a mutual bond of friendship and appreciation with those who can recommend you. Consider the plug you could receive from a supervisor who knows you as a friend versus one who remains detached and only notices you in terms of your ability to meet deadlines or attain goals.

When people fully know your skills, strengths, personality, and aspirations, you have promoters who will sing your praises with any opportunity for advancement.

Final Thoughts

At the end of the day, it is “who you know” not “what you know.” When you build relationships, you build a pipeline of colleagues, work partners, team members, current bosses, and former bosses who want to help you—who want to see you succeed.

At its core, every business is a people business. Making a point to take the small but meaningful actions that build the foundation of a good relationship can be instrumental in cultivating better relationships at work.

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Featured photo credit: Adam Winger via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] The American Institute of Stress: 42 Worrying Workplace Stress Statistics

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