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30 lessons I’ve learned on reaching 30

30 lessons I’ve learned on reaching 30

I reached 30 and I would love to share what life has taught me till now. Hope you will get some insights.

1. Expectation leads to misery

Do not expect anything; just accept everything or else you will be the scapegoat of misery. Expectation-desperation-misery is a chain reaction that leads to predicaments.

2. Less is more

Minimalism is the new cult now. Give away, get rid of, throw away and do whatever you can to go minimal. It sets you free.

3. Legitimate suffering is part of life

You cannot escape suffering; conflict is perennial. If you are a part of the problem, then you are a part of the solution too. Just face the conflict and be ready to suffer legitimately.

4. Love eludes when you chase it

Love is like a butterfly, it’s hard to catch when you chase it. It slowly lands on your shoulder when you least expect it. Love yourself first in a way you can share that abundance. Butterflies are waiting.

5. Vulnerability fosters intimacy

To be flawed is to be human. Intimacy cannot be fostered by strength, the real connection happens only when we are courageous enough to share our deepest fears.

6. Write down N.U.T.s

Have some Non Negotiated – Unaltered Terms (N.U.T.s) in your life. Write them down and be disciplined enough to send clear signals to the people who wanted to invade your personal boundaries.

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7. Illusion of control is a mirage

Accept the fact that you cannot control everything. If you do so – you will be relieved from the enormous stress of controlling. Moreover, nobody likes a control freak.

8. We create our own reality

I used to blame situations initially, now I truly believe in the fact that we create our own reality. I think therefore I am. Invest in personal charisma to create the situations that favor you.

9. Excel in what people need

It is not enough to pursue the passion you love, it has to be in sync with people’s needs too or else you end up blaming the universe for digging you. Give what people need and find love in it – the universe works that way.

10. Do what you believe in even when no one else does

“The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.” – Steve Jobs

Just believe and relentlessly work hard – you will find the treasure.

11. What you focus on is what you get

This was proven in my case. Focus on the positive and you tend to see the negative aspects in a lighter vein. Similarly, focus on the negative and you tend to see the positive aspects in a cynical way. What you focus on is what you get. It’s all in you.

12. Habits die-hard

The paradox of our brain is, it gets accustomed to any habit and can’t spot the difference between a bad habit and good habit. So beware of habits – they decide your destiny.

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13. Social networking is “SOCIAL NOT WORKING”

Social networking is an epidemic today. It is a great thing to a certain extent but not at the expense of our happiness. Find life outside the web, the universe is calling you.

14. Money is what you get in exchange for value

Of late, I used to think that money is the result of my excellence. Of course it is; but only when my excellence provides some value to the existence of mankind. Provide true value and you will never run out of money.

15. Exercise – Exercise – Exercise

Exercise not only burns calories, but also your insecurities. Pump up yourself and be amazed to see the new self with vigor and vitality. Trust me, you don’t give a damn for the people who once made you feel stupid.

16. A purpose driven life is fulfilling

Life without a purpose is like a ship searching for the harbor. You need to have a light house to guide you. The purpose in life is the light house to steer you towards a fulfilling and meaningful life.

17. Leading means living by an example

Leading is attractive but it is only short lived if you lead with power, money, fame etc. Just try leading by example – people will follow and surrender to you completely. History is the evidence.

18. Talent is different from skill

You might have a talent, but it is futile if you don’t practice. You need skill to hone your talent. Skill can only be achieved with diligent practice and dedication. Strive for the combo – you will be eternal.

19. There is a difference between “Goal Reaching” and “Goal Setting”

Reaching a goal is a discipline, setting a goal is a decision. If you just dream of the goal, nothing will happen unless you act with discipline upon the process of reaching your goal.

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20. Today matters

“If I could come to your house and spend just one day with you, I would be able to tell whether or not you will be successful.” – John C. Maxwell

Tomorrow is never bound to be better unless you have a strategy to make it better. Today.

21. Instead of To-Do lists, have Should-DO list

Multitasking is a menace today. To fight the demon, have Should-Do lists instead of To-Do lists. You end up doing things on-time that matter most rather than wasting time on the junk. Really think about what the most important things on you To-Do list are and which you should defintely do in order to move forward. Those are the ones that count.

22. Give to get

Give, not as a strategy but by habit – you will surely get what you deserve. I’ve disclosed the secret to you, now find out ways where you can give truly and receive accordingly. It works, I promise.

23. Our true reality is in our identity and unity with all life

Our existence is determined by our identity and unity with mankind. Whoever tries to curb or disturb the process of life, they simply perish. You can only get what is yours by giving the other person what is rightfully his or hers.

24. Answers are in the Nature

Rocks become shallow by the constant trickle of water drops for decades, tells us the power of persistence in life. For all the confusions in life, you can seek answers from the Nature with observation and keenness.

 25. The circle of life is complete

“What one has done in the secret chamber one has some day to cry out aloud on the house top” – Oscar Wilde

The circle of life is complete at the end, whatever you do, it returns back with the same force. Be cautious.

26. All glory is fleeting

“Your reputation is who people think you are; your character is who you really are.” – John Wooden

Remember, all glory is fleeting. There’s nothing more healing than living in the truth and presenting yourself as who you really are.

27. Brace yourself for impact

Life is fragile; you never know what happens next. Leave no remnants, love life and live consciously, make your mark, pursue the passion and that urgency, that purpose will really make a difference in your life.

28. By virtue of nothing, you gain something

It is skeptical but true. Mother Nature is abundant and resourceful, yet she never claims – that’s how she is eternal. That eternal status is attributed only when one is humble enough to accredit the virtue of nothing.

29.  Desire is the bait, fear is the hook

Beyond the perils of desire and fear happens life. Do not get succumbed by these in the process of achieving greater good. If you resist those; the universe will conspire for your success.

30. Have no regret on your death bed

Finally forgive, forget and say your I love yous, thank who you are grateful for – trust me you won’t want any regrets when you’re in your deathbed. Do it now.

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KAMAL SUCHARAN BURRI

Founding Director, Newlight Cinemas

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Last Updated on September 12, 2019

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

Even the most charismatic people you know, whether in person or celebrities of some sort, experience days where they feel lost in life and isolated from everyone else.

While it’s good to know we aren’t alone in this feeling, the question still remains:

What should we do when we feel lost and lonely?

Here are 12 things to remember:

1. Recognize That It’s Okay!

The truth is, there are times you need to be alone. If you’ve always been accustomed to being in contact with people, this may prove difficult.

However, learning how to be alone and comfortable in your own skin will give you confidence and a sense of self reliance.

We cheat ourselves out of the opportunity to become self reliant when we look for constant companionship.

Learn how to embrace your me time: What Your Fear of Being Alone Is Really About and How to Get over It

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2. Use Your Lost and Loneliness as a Self-Directing Guide

You’ve most likely heard the expression: “You have to know where you’ve been to know where you’re going.”

Loneliness also serves as a life signal to indicate you’re in search of something. It’s when we’re in the midst of solitude that answers come from true soul searching.

Remember, there is more to life than what you’re feeling.

3. Realize Loneliness Helps You Face the Truth

Being in the constant company of others, although comforting sometimes, can often serve as a distraction when we need to face the reality of a situation.

Solitude cuts straight to the chase and forces you to deal with the problem at hand. See it as a blessing that can serve as a catalyst to set things right!

4. Be Aware That You Have More Control Than You Think

Typically, when we see ourselves as being lost or lonely, it gives us an excuse to view everything we come in contact with in a negative light. It lends itself to putting ourselves in the victim mode, when the truth of the matter is that you choose your attitude in every situation.

No one can force a feeling upon you! It is YOU who has the ultimate say as to how you choose to react.

5. Embrace the Freedom That the Feeling of Being Alone Can Offer

Instead of wallowing in self pity, which many are prone to do because of loneliness, try looking at your circumstance as a new-found freedom.

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Most people are in constant need of approval of their viewpoints. Try enjoying the fact that  you don’t need everyone you care about to support your decisions.

6. Acknowledge the Person You Are Now

Perhaps you feel a sense of loneliness and confusion because your life circumstances have taken you away from the persona that others know to be you.

Perhaps the new you differs radically from the old. Realize that life is about change and how we react to that change. It’s okay that you’re not who you used to be.

Take a look at this article and learn to accept your imperfect self: Accept Yourself (Flaws and All): 7 Benefits of Being Vulnerable

7. Keep Striving to Do Your Best

Often those who are feeling isolated and unto themselves will develop a defeatist attitude. They’ll do substandard work because their self esteem is low and they don’t care.

Never let this feeling take away your sense of worth! Do your best always and when you come through this dark time, others will admire how you stayed determined in spite of the obstacles you had to overcome.

And to live your best life, you must do this ONE thing: step out of your comfort zone.

8. Don’t Forget That Time Is Precious

When we’re lost in a sea of loneliness and depression, it’s all too easy to reflect on regrets of past life events. This does nothing but feed negativity and perpetuate the situation.

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Instead of falling prey to this common pitfall, put one foot in front of the other and acknowledge every positive step you take. By doing this, you can celebrate the struggles you overcome at the end of the day.

9. Remember, Things Happen for a Reason

Every circumstance we encounter in our life is designed to teach us and that lesson is in turn passed on to others.

Sometimes we’re fortunate enough to figure out the lesson to be learned, while other times, we simply need to have faith that if the lesson wasn’t meant directly for us to learn from, how we handled it was observed by someone who needed to learn.

Your solitude and feeling of lost, in this instance, although painful possibly, may be teaching someone else.

10. Journal During This Time

Record your thoughts when you’re at the height of loneliness and feeling lost. You’ll be amazed when you reflect back at how you viewed things at the time and how far you’ve come later.

This time (if recorded) can give you a keen insight into who you are and what makes you feel the way you feel.

11. Remember You Aren’t the First to Feel This Way

It’s quite common to feel as if we’re alone and no one else has ever felt this way before. We think this because at the time of our distress, we’re silently observing others around us who are seemingly fine in every way.

The truth is, we can’t possibly know the struggles of those around us unless they elect to share them. We ALL have known this pain!

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Try confiding in someone you trust and ask them how they deal with these feelings when they experienced it. You may be surprised at what you learn.

12. Ask for Help If the Problem Persists

The feeling of being lost and lonely is common to everyone, but typically it will last for a relatively short period of time.

Most people will confess to, at one time or another, being in a “funk.” But if the problem persists longer than you feel it should, don’t ignore it.

When your ability to reason and consider things rationally becomes impaired, do not poo poo the problem away and think it isn’t worthy of attention. Seek medical help.

Afraid to ask for help? Here’s how to change your outlook to aim high!

Final Thoughts

Loneliness and a sense of feeling lost can in many ways be extremely painful and difficult to deal with at best. However, these feelings can also serve as a catalyst for change in our lives if we acknowledge them and act.

Above anything, cherish your mental well being and don’t underestimate its worth. Seek professional guidance if you’re unable to distinguish between a sense of freedom for yourself and a sense of despair.

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Featured photo credit: Andrew Neel via unsplash.com

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