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30 lessons I’ve learned on reaching 30

30 lessons I’ve learned on reaching 30

I reached 30 and I would love to share what life has taught me till now. Hope you will get some insights.

1. Expectation leads to misery

Do not expect anything; just accept everything or else you will be the scapegoat of misery. Expectation-desperation-misery is a chain reaction that leads to predicaments.

2. Less is more

Minimalism is the new cult now. Give away, get rid of, throw away and do whatever you can to go minimal. It sets you free.

3. Legitimate suffering is part of life

You cannot escape suffering; conflict is perennial. If you are a part of the problem, then you are a part of the solution too. Just face the conflict and be ready to suffer legitimately.

4. Love eludes when you chase it

Love is like a butterfly, it’s hard to catch when you chase it. It slowly lands on your shoulder when you least expect it. Love yourself first in a way you can share that abundance. Butterflies are waiting.

5. Vulnerability fosters intimacy

To be flawed is to be human. Intimacy cannot be fostered by strength, the real connection happens only when we are courageous enough to share our deepest fears.

6. Write down N.U.T.s

Have some Non Negotiated – Unaltered Terms (N.U.T.s) in your life. Write them down and be disciplined enough to send clear signals to the people who wanted to invade your personal boundaries.

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7. Illusion of control is a mirage

Accept the fact that you cannot control everything. If you do so – you will be relieved from the enormous stress of controlling. Moreover, nobody likes a control freak.

8. We create our own reality

I used to blame situations initially, now I truly believe in the fact that we create our own reality. I think therefore I am. Invest in personal charisma to create the situations that favor you.

9. Excel in what people need

It is not enough to pursue the passion you love, it has to be in sync with people’s needs too or else you end up blaming the universe for digging you. Give what people need and find love in it – the universe works that way.

10. Do what you believe in even when no one else does

“The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.” – Steve Jobs

Just believe and relentlessly work hard – you will find the treasure.

11. What you focus on is what you get

This was proven in my case. Focus on the positive and you tend to see the negative aspects in a lighter vein. Similarly, focus on the negative and you tend to see the positive aspects in a cynical way. What you focus on is what you get. It’s all in you.

12. Habits die-hard

The paradox of our brain is, it gets accustomed to any habit and can’t spot the difference between a bad habit and good habit. So beware of habits – they decide your destiny.

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13. Social networking is “SOCIAL NOT WORKING”

Social networking is an epidemic today. It is a great thing to a certain extent but not at the expense of our happiness. Find life outside the web, the universe is calling you.

14. Money is what you get in exchange for value

Of late, I used to think that money is the result of my excellence. Of course it is; but only when my excellence provides some value to the existence of mankind. Provide true value and you will never run out of money.

15. Exercise – Exercise – Exercise

Exercise not only burns calories, but also your insecurities. Pump up yourself and be amazed to see the new self with vigor and vitality. Trust me, you don’t give a damn for the people who once made you feel stupid.

16. A purpose driven life is fulfilling

Life without a purpose is like a ship searching for the harbor. You need to have a light house to guide you. The purpose in life is the light house to steer you towards a fulfilling and meaningful life.

17. Leading means living by an example

Leading is attractive but it is only short lived if you lead with power, money, fame etc. Just try leading by example – people will follow and surrender to you completely. History is the evidence.

18. Talent is different from skill

You might have a talent, but it is futile if you don’t practice. You need skill to hone your talent. Skill can only be achieved with diligent practice and dedication. Strive for the combo – you will be eternal.

19. There is a difference between “Goal Reaching” and “Goal Setting”

Reaching a goal is a discipline, setting a goal is a decision. If you just dream of the goal, nothing will happen unless you act with discipline upon the process of reaching your goal.

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20. Today matters

“If I could come to your house and spend just one day with you, I would be able to tell whether or not you will be successful.” – John C. Maxwell

Tomorrow is never bound to be better unless you have a strategy to make it better. Today.

21. Instead of To-Do lists, have Should-DO list

Multitasking is a menace today. To fight the demon, have Should-Do lists instead of To-Do lists. You end up doing things on-time that matter most rather than wasting time on the junk. Really think about what the most important things on you To-Do list are and which you should defintely do in order to move forward. Those are the ones that count.

22. Give to get

Give, not as a strategy but by habit – you will surely get what you deserve. I’ve disclosed the secret to you, now find out ways where you can give truly and receive accordingly. It works, I promise.

23. Our true reality is in our identity and unity with all life

Our existence is determined by our identity and unity with mankind. Whoever tries to curb or disturb the process of life, they simply perish. You can only get what is yours by giving the other person what is rightfully his or hers.

24. Answers are in the Nature

Rocks become shallow by the constant trickle of water drops for decades, tells us the power of persistence in life. For all the confusions in life, you can seek answers from the Nature with observation and keenness.

 25. The circle of life is complete

“What one has done in the secret chamber one has some day to cry out aloud on the house top” – Oscar Wilde

The circle of life is complete at the end, whatever you do, it returns back with the same force. Be cautious.

26. All glory is fleeting

“Your reputation is who people think you are; your character is who you really are.” – John Wooden

Remember, all glory is fleeting. There’s nothing more healing than living in the truth and presenting yourself as who you really are.

27. Brace yourself for impact

Life is fragile; you never know what happens next. Leave no remnants, love life and live consciously, make your mark, pursue the passion and that urgency, that purpose will really make a difference in your life.

28. By virtue of nothing, you gain something

It is skeptical but true. Mother Nature is abundant and resourceful, yet she never claims – that’s how she is eternal. That eternal status is attributed only when one is humble enough to accredit the virtue of nothing.

29.  Desire is the bait, fear is the hook

Beyond the perils of desire and fear happens life. Do not get succumbed by these in the process of achieving greater good. If you resist those; the universe will conspire for your success.

30. Have no regret on your death bed

Finally forgive, forget and say your I love yous, thank who you are grateful for – trust me you won’t want any regrets when you’re in your deathbed. Do it now.

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KAMAL SUCHARAN BURRI

Founding Director, Newlight Cinemas

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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