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30 lessons I’ve learned on reaching 30

30 lessons I’ve learned on reaching 30

I reached 30 and I would love to share what life has taught me till now. Hope you will get some insights.

1. Expectation leads to misery

Do not expect anything; just accept everything or else you will be the scapegoat of misery. Expectation-desperation-misery is a chain reaction that leads to predicaments.

2. Less is more

Minimalism is the new cult now. Give away, get rid of, throw away and do whatever you can to go minimal. It sets you free.

3. Legitimate suffering is part of life

You cannot escape suffering; conflict is perennial. If you are a part of the problem, then you are a part of the solution too. Just face the conflict and be ready to suffer legitimately.

4. Love eludes when you chase it

Love is like a butterfly, it’s hard to catch when you chase it. It slowly lands on your shoulder when you least expect it. Love yourself first in a way you can share that abundance. Butterflies are waiting.

5. Vulnerability fosters intimacy

To be flawed is to be human. Intimacy cannot be fostered by strength, the real connection happens only when we are courageous enough to share our deepest fears.

6. Write down N.U.T.s

Have some Non Negotiated – Unaltered Terms (N.U.T.s) in your life. Write them down and be disciplined enough to send clear signals to the people who wanted to invade your personal boundaries.

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7. Illusion of control is a mirage

Accept the fact that you cannot control everything. If you do so – you will be relieved from the enormous stress of controlling. Moreover, nobody likes a control freak.

8. We create our own reality

I used to blame situations initially, now I truly believe in the fact that we create our own reality. I think therefore I am. Invest in personal charisma to create the situations that favor you.

9. Excel in what people need

It is not enough to pursue the passion you love, it has to be in sync with people’s needs too or else you end up blaming the universe for digging you. Give what people need and find love in it – the universe works that way.

10. Do what you believe in even when no one else does

“The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.” – Steve Jobs

Just believe and relentlessly work hard – you will find the treasure.

11. What you focus on is what you get

This was proven in my case. Focus on the positive and you tend to see the negative aspects in a lighter vein. Similarly, focus on the negative and you tend to see the positive aspects in a cynical way. What you focus on is what you get. It’s all in you.

12. Habits die-hard

The paradox of our brain is, it gets accustomed to any habit and can’t spot the difference between a bad habit and good habit. So beware of habits – they decide your destiny.

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13. Social networking is “SOCIAL NOT WORKING”

Social networking is an epidemic today. It is a great thing to a certain extent but not at the expense of our happiness. Find life outside the web, the universe is calling you.

14. Money is what you get in exchange for value

Of late, I used to think that money is the result of my excellence. Of course it is; but only when my excellence provides some value to the existence of mankind. Provide true value and you will never run out of money.

15. Exercise – Exercise – Exercise

Exercise not only burns calories, but also your insecurities. Pump up yourself and be amazed to see the new self with vigor and vitality. Trust me, you don’t give a damn for the people who once made you feel stupid.

16. A purpose driven life is fulfilling

Life without a purpose is like a ship searching for the harbor. You need to have a light house to guide you. The purpose in life is the light house to steer you towards a fulfilling and meaningful life.

17. Leading means living by an example

Leading is attractive but it is only short lived if you lead with power, money, fame etc. Just try leading by example – people will follow and surrender to you completely. History is the evidence.

18. Talent is different from skill

You might have a talent, but it is futile if you don’t practice. You need skill to hone your talent. Skill can only be achieved with diligent practice and dedication. Strive for the combo – you will be eternal.

19. There is a difference between “Goal Reaching” and “Goal Setting”

Reaching a goal is a discipline, setting a goal is a decision. If you just dream of the goal, nothing will happen unless you act with discipline upon the process of reaching your goal.

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20. Today matters

“If I could come to your house and spend just one day with you, I would be able to tell whether or not you will be successful.” – John C. Maxwell

Tomorrow is never bound to be better unless you have a strategy to make it better. Today.

21. Instead of To-Do lists, have Should-DO list

Multitasking is a menace today. To fight the demon, have Should-Do lists instead of To-Do lists. You end up doing things on-time that matter most rather than wasting time on the junk. Really think about what the most important things on you To-Do list are and which you should defintely do in order to move forward. Those are the ones that count.

22. Give to get

Give, not as a strategy but by habit – you will surely get what you deserve. I’ve disclosed the secret to you, now find out ways where you can give truly and receive accordingly. It works, I promise.

23. Our true reality is in our identity and unity with all life

Our existence is determined by our identity and unity with mankind. Whoever tries to curb or disturb the process of life, they simply perish. You can only get what is yours by giving the other person what is rightfully his or hers.

24. Answers are in the Nature

Rocks become shallow by the constant trickle of water drops for decades, tells us the power of persistence in life. For all the confusions in life, you can seek answers from the Nature with observation and keenness.

 25. The circle of life is complete

“What one has done in the secret chamber one has some day to cry out aloud on the house top” – Oscar Wilde

The circle of life is complete at the end, whatever you do, it returns back with the same force. Be cautious.

26. All glory is fleeting

“Your reputation is who people think you are; your character is who you really are.” – John Wooden

Remember, all glory is fleeting. There’s nothing more healing than living in the truth and presenting yourself as who you really are.

27. Brace yourself for impact

Life is fragile; you never know what happens next. Leave no remnants, love life and live consciously, make your mark, pursue the passion and that urgency, that purpose will really make a difference in your life.

28. By virtue of nothing, you gain something

It is skeptical but true. Mother Nature is abundant and resourceful, yet she never claims – that’s how she is eternal. That eternal status is attributed only when one is humble enough to accredit the virtue of nothing.

29.  Desire is the bait, fear is the hook

Beyond the perils of desire and fear happens life. Do not get succumbed by these in the process of achieving greater good. If you resist those; the universe will conspire for your success.

30. Have no regret on your death bed

Finally forgive, forget and say your I love yous, thank who you are grateful for – trust me you won’t want any regrets when you’re in your deathbed. Do it now.

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KAMAL SUCHARAN BURRI

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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