“Unplug from society every once in a while and plug into your mind” – Tiffany Mason
We are living in a century where anything is possible. We have so many different opportunities to live a life truly worth living for. The difference that separates one person from another person in achieving their dreams is determination. The determination of creating that which they desire to exist. We face so many distractions on a daily basis that we can easily get off track. It will be your determination that will get you through these distractions and create the reality that you want for yourself.
I want to share with you the steps that I have taken to pursue my dreams. It has taken about 5 years to get to where I am today in my life and I have never been happier. It takes time, patience and determination. All I can say is that the journey is definitely worth it.Advertising
Plug into your mind
We experience so much noise, whether it be from the television, social media, the radio or even other people. It has never been more important to unplug from society and plug into your mind. Since we are constantly surrounded by noise, it is crucial for you to plug into your mind when it comes to what you want and the dreams you want to make into reality. When you plug into your mind, you are allowing your thoughts, emotions and feelings explore. How can you possibly discover your dreams when you are surrounded by noise? It is nearly impossible to think for yourself. This is exactly why you need to give yourself the time to discover your dreams in a quite environment.
Spend some quality time one evening plugging into your mind. Limit all distractions by putting your phone on silent, turning off the television and sitting in a quite place. Have a piece of paper and a pen. Get in touch with your thoughts.
Write down the answers these questions:
What do you truly want to accomplish in life?Advertising
What fulfills your soul?
What comes naturally to you?
What is your legacy? When you leave this world, what do you want others to remember you by?Advertising
These questions may not be easy to answer, but is necessary for you to reflect and be clear with what you want. This is the very first step that I took to accomplish my dream of becoming a Life Coach. Ask yourself, “How do I want to impact the lives of others in a positive and empowering way? Because life really is all about helping others.
Once you have taken the time to plug into your mind and explore your dreams, now is time to do some research. The next step to discovering your dream is doing research. If you want to be a rock star, do some research on what it’s like to be a rock star and what a typical day is like. Do your homework before jumping into something blindly. Know the ins and outs of what it’s like to be a rock star. You may find out that you don’t like it. Wouldn’t you rather know now that the rock star lifestyle is not for you rather than later? I know I would!
Get on Google and start researching your dream. Go to your local library, get a library card and start reading books about your dream. Learn from others who are living out your dream, and try to discover both the good and the bad. Find out what’s good about your dream and what the challenges are. When you do your research, you are more prepared.Advertising
Now that you have your research about your dream, it’s time to experience it. It may be volunteering at your local shelter if you want to be a veterinarian or working with a mentor. One great way to discover your dream and pursue it is being able to experience it. Take the time to be involved in the environment that you want to be in. If your dream is to be a business owner, work with a business owner that is already successful. You can learn a lot about your dream through experience.
Find out ways to experience your dream. If you have a busy schedule, take some time in the evenings or weekends to volunteer. Even if it’s just for a few a hours throughout the week, you will start to experience what it’s like to turn your dream into reality. Find a mentor that is already living out your dream. Be a student and ask as many questions as you can. Be curious about their day, ask about their challenges that they encounter and how they handle uncertainty
Implement these 3 steps to discover your dream in your own life. Follow these steps in order and get in touch with what you truly want. Best of luck on your journey to creating that which you truly desire to exist!
Last Updated on March 30, 2020
What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)
Have you ever walked into a room and felt like your nerves simply couldn’t handle it? Your heart beats fast, you start to sweat, and you feel like all eyes are on you (even if they’re really not). This is just one of the many ways that being self-conscious can rear its ugly head.
You may not even realize you’re self-conscious, and you may be wondering, “What does self-conscious mean?” That’s a good place to start.
This article will define self-consciousness, show how practically everyone has faced it at one point or another, and give you tips to avoid it.
Table of Contents
What Does Self-Conscious Mean?
According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, self-conscious is defined as “conscious of one’s own acts or states as belonging to or originating in oneself.”
Not so bad, right? There’s another definition, though — one that speaks more to what you’re going through: “feeling uncomfortably conscious of oneself as an object of the observation of others.” For those of us who regularly deal with extreme self-consciousness, that second definition sounds about right.
There are many different ways self-consciousness can spring up. You may feel self-conscious around people you know, like your family members or closest friends. You may feel self-conscious at work, even though you spend hours every week around your co-workers. Or you may feel self-conscious when out in public and surrounded by strangers. However, you probably don’t feel self-conscious when you’re home alone.
How to Stop Being Too Self-Conscious
When you’re in the throes of self-consciousness, it’s nearly impossible to remember how to stop feeling that way. That’s why it’s so important to prepare ahead of time, when you’re feeling ready to tackle the problem instead of succumbing to it.
Here are a variety of ways to feel better about yourself and stop thinking about how others see you.
1. Ask Yourself, “So What?”
One way to banish negative, self-conscious thoughts is to do just that: banish them.
The next time you walk into a room and feel your face getting red, think to yourself, “So what?” How much does it really matter if people don’t like how you look or act? What’s the worst that could happen?
Most of the time, you’ll find that you don’t have a good answer to this question. Then, you can immediately start assigning such thoughts less importance. With self-awareness, you can acknowledge that your negative thoughts are present and realize that you don’t agree with them. They’re just thoughts, after all.
2. Be Honest
A lie that self-consciousness might tell is that there’s one way to act or feel. Honestly, though, everyone else is just figuring life out as well. There isn’t a preferred way to show up to an event, gathering, or public place. What you can do is be honest with your feelings and thoughts.
If you feel offended by something someone says, you don’t have to smile to be polite or laugh to fit in with the crowd. Instead, you can politely say why you disagree or excuse yourself and find a group of people who you relate to better. If you’re nervous, don’t overcompensate by trying to look relaxed and casual — it’ll be obvious you’re putting on a front. Instead, nothing is more endearing than saying, “I’m a little nervous!” to a room of people who probably feel the exact same way.
On the same note, if you don’t understand why someone wants you to do something, question it. You can do this at work, at home, or even with people you don’t know well. Nobody should force you to do something you don’t want to do.
Also, even if you’re willing to do what’s asked of you, there’s nothing wrong with asking for more clarification. People will realize that you’re not a person to be bossed around.
3. Understand Why You’re Struggling at Work
Being self-conscious at work can get in the way of your daily responsibilities, your relationships with co-workers, and even your career as a whole. If you’re facing some sort of conflict but you’re too nervous to speak up, you may be at the whim of what happens to you instead of taking some control.
If you’re usually confident at work, you may be wondering where this new self-consciousness is coming from. It’s possible that you’re dealing with burnout. Common signs are anxiety, fatigue and distraction, all of which can leave you feeling under-confident.
4. Succeed at Something
When you create success in your life, it’s easier to feel confident and less self-conscious. If you feel self-conscious at work, finish the project that’s been looming over your head. If you feel self-conscious in the gym, complete an advanced workout class.
Exposing yourself to what you’re scared of and then succeeding at it in some way (even just by finishing it) can do wonders for your self-esteem. The more confidence you build, the more likely you are to have more success in the future, which will create a cycle of confidence-building.
5. Treat All of You — Not Just Your Self-Consciousness
Trying to solve your self-consciousness alone may not treat the root of the problem. Instead, take a well-rounded approach to lower your self-consciousness and build confidence in areas where you may struggle.
Even professional counselors are embracing this holistic type of treatment because they feel that the health of the mind and body are inextricably linked. This approach combines physical, spiritual, and psychological components. Common activities and treatments include meditation, yoga, massage, and healthy changes to diet and exercise.
If much of this is new to you, it will pay to give it a try. You never know how it will impact you.
If you’re feeling self-conscious about how your body looks, a massage that makes you feel great could boost your confidence. If you try a new workout, you could have something exciting to talk about the next time you’re in a group setting.
Putting yourself in a new situation and learning that you can get through it with grace can give you the confidence to get through all sorts of events and nerve-wracking moments.
6. Make the Changes That Are Within Your Control
Let’s say you walk into a room and you’re self-conscious about how you look. However, you may have put a lot of time and effort into your outfit. Even though it may stand out, this is how you have chosen to express yourself.
You have to work on your internal confidence, not your external appearance. There’s nothing to change other than your outlook.
On the other hand, maybe there’s something that you don’t like about yourself that you can change. For example, maybe you hate how a birthmark on your face looks or have varicose veins that you think are unsightly. If you can do something about these things, do it! There’s nothing wrong with changing your appearance (or skills, education, etc.) if it’s going to make you more confident.
You don’t have to accept your current situation for acceptance’s sake. There’s no award for putting up with something you hate. Confidence is also required to make changes that are scary, even if they’re for the better. Plus, it may be an easier fix than you thought. For example, treating varicose veins doesn’t have to involve surgery — sometimes simple compression stockings will take care of the problem.
7. Realize That Everyone Has Awkward Moments
Everyone has said something awkward to someone else and lived to tell the tale. We’ve all forgotten somebody’s name or said, “You too!” when the concession stand girl says to enjoy our movie. Not only are these things uber-common, but they’re not nearly as embarrassing as you feel they are.
Think about how you react when someone else does something awkward. Do you think, “Wow, that person’s such a loser!” or do you think, “What a relief, I’m not the only one who does that.” Chances are good that’s the same reaction others have to you when you stumble.
Remember, self-consciousness is a state of mind that you have control over. You don’t have to feel this way. Do what you need to in order to build your confidence, put your self-consciousness in perspective, and start exercising your “I feel awesome about myself” muscle. It’ll get easier with time.
When Is Being Self-Conscious a Good Thing?
Self-consciousness can sometimes be a good thing, but you have to take the awkwardness and nerves out of it.
In this case, “self-aware” is a much better term. Knowing how you come off to people is an excellent trait; you’ll be able to read a room and understand how what you do and say affects others. These are fantastic skills for people work and personal relationships.
Self-awareness helps you dress appropriately for the occasion, tells you that you’re talking too loud or not loud enough, and guides a conversation so you don’t offend or bore anyone.
It’s not about being someone you’re not — that can actually have adverse effects, just like self-consciousness. Instead, it’s about turning up certain aspects of yourself to perform well in the situation.
When you’re self-conscious, you’re constantly battling with yourself in an effort to control how other people view you. You try to change yourself to suit what you think other people want to see.
The truth, though, is that you can’t actually control how other people view you — and you may not even be correct about how they view you in the first place.
Being confident doesn’t happen overnight. Instead, it happens in small steps as you slowly build your confidence and say “no” to your self-consciousness. It also requires accepting that you’re going to feel self-conscious sometimes, and that’s okay.
Sometimes worrying that there is a problem can be more stressful than the problem itself. Feeling bad for feeling self-conscious can be more troublesome than simply feeling it and getting on with the day.
Forgive yourself for being human and make the small changes that will lead to better confidence in the future.
More Tips for Improving Your Self-Esteem
- How to Build Self Esteem (A Guide to Realize Your Hidden Power)
- How to Gain Confidence and Really Boost Your Self Esteem
- Signs Of Low Self-Esteem And The Root Causes You Might Not Know
- How to Be Confident: 62 Proven Ways to Build Self-Confidence
Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com
|||^||Bustle: 7 Tips On How To Stop Feeling Self-Conscious|
|||^||Marc and Angel: 10 Things to Remember When You Feel Unsure of Yourself|
|||^||Bostitch: How to Protect Small Businesses From Burnout|
|||^||Psychology Today: Self-conscious? Get Over It|
|||^||Wake Forest University: Embracing Holistic Medicine|
|||^||Center for Vein Restoration: What Causes Venous Ulcers, and How Are They Treated?|
|||^||Scientific American: The Pros and Cons of Being Self-Aware|