“Unplug from society every once in a while and plug into your mind” – Tiffany Mason
We are living in a century where anything is possible. We have so many different opportunities to live a life truly worth living for. The difference that separates one person from another person in achieving their dreams is determination. The determination of creating that which they desire to exist. We face so many distractions on a daily basis that we can easily get off track. It will be your determination that will get you through these distractions and create the reality that you want for yourself.
I want to share with you the steps that I have taken to pursue my dreams. It has taken about 5 years to get to where I am today in my life and I have never been happier. It takes time, patience and determination. All I can say is that the journey is definitely worth it.Advertising
Plug into your mind
We experience so much noise, whether it be from the television, social media, the radio or even other people. It has never been more important to unplug from society and plug into your mind. Since we are constantly surrounded by noise, it is crucial for you to plug into your mind when it comes to what you want and the dreams you want to make into reality. When you plug into your mind, you are allowing your thoughts, emotions and feelings explore. How can you possibly discover your dreams when you are surrounded by noise? It is nearly impossible to think for yourself. This is exactly why you need to give yourself the time to discover your dreams in a quite environment.
Spend some quality time one evening plugging into your mind. Limit all distractions by putting your phone on silent, turning off the television and sitting in a quite place. Have a piece of paper and a pen. Get in touch with your thoughts.
Write down the answers these questions:
What do you truly want to accomplish in life?Advertising
What fulfills your soul?
What comes naturally to you?
What is your legacy? When you leave this world, what do you want others to remember you by?Advertising
These questions may not be easy to answer, but is necessary for you to reflect and be clear with what you want. This is the very first step that I took to accomplish my dream of becoming a Life Coach. Ask yourself, “How do I want to impact the lives of others in a positive and empowering way? Because life really is all about helping others.
Once you have taken the time to plug into your mind and explore your dreams, now is time to do some research. The next step to discovering your dream is doing research. If you want to be a rock star, do some research on what it’s like to be a rock star and what a typical day is like. Do your homework before jumping into something blindly. Know the ins and outs of what it’s like to be a rock star. You may find out that you don’t like it. Wouldn’t you rather know now that the rock star lifestyle is not for you rather than later? I know I would!
Get on Google and start researching your dream. Go to your local library, get a library card and start reading books about your dream. Learn from others who are living out your dream, and try to discover both the good and the bad. Find out what’s good about your dream and what the challenges are. When you do your research, you are more prepared.Advertising
Now that you have your research about your dream, it’s time to experience it. It may be volunteering at your local shelter if you want to be a veterinarian or working with a mentor. One great way to discover your dream and pursue it is being able to experience it. Take the time to be involved in the environment that you want to be in. If your dream is to be a business owner, work with a business owner that is already successful. You can learn a lot about your dream through experience.
Find out ways to experience your dream. If you have a busy schedule, take some time in the evenings or weekends to volunteer. Even if it’s just for a few a hours throughout the week, you will start to experience what it’s like to turn your dream into reality. Find a mentor that is already living out your dream. Be a student and ask as many questions as you can. Be curious about their day, ask about their challenges that they encounter and how they handle uncertainty
Implement these 3 steps to discover your dream in your own life. Follow these steps in order and get in touch with what you truly want. Best of luck on your journey to creating that which you truly desire to exist!
Last Updated on December 9, 2019
5 Warning Signs That You’re a People Pleaser
Do any of the followings sound familiar…
You cringe at the thought of saying no. You obsess about what others think of you and whether you’re doing something to make them dislike you. You live your life based on the opinions of others because you are deathly afraid of disappointing them.
If you say yes to all of these, you are likely a chronic people pleaser.
It’s hard not to struggle with people-pleasing at one time or another in our lives. As social beings, it’s in our nature to get along with others; our survival and success depend on it.
However, there is a fine line between healthy social behavior and the experience of emotional depletion caused by chronic people-pleasing. In addition to being emotionally drained, you may find yourself compromising on your principles and values in order to be accepted. As you help others to get what they want, your own health and well-being will suffer.
As a recovering people pleaser myself, I’ve observed these five common signs of chronic people-pleasing and some ways to overcome it:
1. You’re Incapable of Saying No
Do you find it painfully hard to turn down the requests of family, friends, and even acquaintances or strangers? You really want to say no, but instead, you say yes to their various demands.
Before you know it, you’ve become the go-to person when something needs to get done. From the small to the large, you take on every task. You may even be considered a hero to some.
On the inside, you’re suffering. You genuinely want to help others, but you also know that you are depleting your own resources with every “yes.” You may fear that you’ll lose your friendships and good reputation by saying no. After all, last thing you want to be called is selfish.
First, realize that your capacity to care for others and your capacity to care for yourself are not mutually exclusive. In fact, the two are intimately related.
Second, understand that you are not responsible for the happiness of those around you. They are. Let these two realities give you permission to say no. Start practicing with small requests. Refuse kindly, and without apology.
2. You Avoid Making Decisions or Sharing Your Opinions
Do you have a hard time voicing your opinions and feelings in a group setting or with close friends? Do you constantly allow others to make decisions for you?
You understand a deep truth about decisions and opinions: they divide. However, it’s not in your nature to cause division by speaking up, so you remain silent to avoid conflict.
Over time, this behavior is deadly, because as you defer to the opinions and decisions of others, you are silencing your own voice. This will rob the world of your unique perspectives and gifts.
Remember that you can disagree without being disagreeable. People can have divergent opinions and still treat each other with respect and kindness. So give voice to your thoughts, concerns, and needs.
By speaking up, you may rock the boat. You may even be outvoted. But if you treat others with respect, they will respect you even when they disagree with your opinions and choices.
3. You’re Crushed When You Discover Someone Doesn’t like You
This is a hard one. It seems reasonable to assume that if you go out of your way to please everyone, then everyone will like you. But it’s not true.
Some people will dislike you simply because of who you are or for reasons outside of your control. You understand this intellectually, but you cannot stop trying to win the few holdouts.
Closely examine your desire to be liked by everyone. Did this originate in your childhood, as you tried to win the affections of family members or friends at school? Use tools such as reflection, meditation, and counseling to help you let go of past negative experiences.
As social beings, we need to be loved and accepted – but not by everyone. Decide whose love and affection is worth the effort and whose is not.
4. You’re Resentful of Others but Are Not Sure Why
This often happens when we suppress our feelings and needs over the long term.
Do you feel unexplained anger toward your close friends, spouse, or boss? The anger is your subconscious telling you that you have been neglecting yourself while helping others advance their goals. Think of this resentment as the “check engine” light turning on in your car. Don’t ignore it.
Face the truth of what is going on in your life. If you’re feeling overextended or taken advantage of, acknowledge these feelings. Avoid second-guessing yourself. Find time for self care, and make this a priority.
5. You’re Unaware of How Far You’re Willing to Go – Until You’re in over Your Head
This is a sure sign that you lack proper boundaries. You avoid setting limits because you believe this runs counter to having a generous spirit. But this simply allows people greater latitude to intrude into your life. The requests may become more and more unreasonable and you may not realize it until someone has crossed the line.
If you’ve taken on too much, you may experience passive aggressive behavior, crying for no apparent reason, anxiety, or depression.
Be willing to admit that your time and energy are limited, not because you’re selfish, but because it’s the truth.
Boundaries are simply a recognition of that truth. Do not be afraid to set your boundaries and enforce them. It will take a while for you and others to get used to it, but you’ll experience an increased sense of well-being, and people will learn to accept your limits.
Learn to set boundaries for good: How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries
You can be generous without allowing yourself to be used. You can be kind without being a pushover. You can be well-liked without having to sell your soul.
Don’t allow your fears and insecurities to turn you into a chronic people-pleaser. Instead, make time to please one of the most important people in your life: you.
Why? Because when you care for yourself, you can care for others out of the abundance of your own well-being. You will do this not because you are afraid of losing their affection, but simply because you want to. You will experience true freedom.
So decide today to give yourself the same love and attention you give to others. This is one decision you won’t regret.
More Tips to Help You
- The Gentle Art of Saying No
- The More We Compare, the More We Lose Ourselves
- How to Build Self Esteem (A Guide to Realize Your Hidden Power)
Featured photo credit: Brooke Cagle via unsplash.com