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Last Updated on September 12, 2018

26 Romantic Ways to Show Your Love for Someone

26 Romantic Ways to Show Your Love for Someone

So you found someone you love and who loves you back. Well played! Hopefully you like them enough to want to keep them around for a long time. Unfortunately, it can sometimes be a little too easy to fall into a rut, and to even mistake it for routine. Luckily, there are plenty of things you can do to show your love, keep the romance alive and make your beloved feel special.

1. Don’t be a cliché

    Don’t do things you’re ‘supposed’ to because people say they are romantic. I realize that statement is a tad ironic considering that I’m writing an article on romance, but hear me out. If roses, chocolates and expensive dinners aren’t your thing, don’t do it! News flash, not every girl likes that stuff. I know I don’t. We’re not actually all the same. Take the time and effort to be romantic in a way the other person will appreciate. For the record, a game from my Steam wish list and some enchiladas will do nicely.

    2. Do some chores

      This may not sound particularly romantic, but saving your significant other from doing some of the domestic jobs they hate is damned sexy.

      3. Cook their favourite meal

        Food holds more power than people may think. Sure, we have to eat it to live, but it also has the ability to bring people together. Why else would most major holidays and festivities have a large food-related element? Nothing is better than coming home after a long day and finding someone has not only already taken care of dinner, but that the meal is one of your favorites.

        4. Order in

          No good at cooking? No problem, order in some delicious food from your partner’s favorite restaurant. I firmly believe that this is far more romantic than going out to eat. You’re in the comfort of your own home and can therefore relax. Plus, you don’t have to deal with any of the mouth breathers out there.

          5. Go out for dinner

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            Maybe you two like going for dinner and would prefer that to eating in. Just make sure you take them somewhere they will love. Again, this doesn’t mean it has to be a cliché. If they prefer the Lebanese restaurant down the street to the French bistro, take them there. If this means they’ll be having garlic breath for the next three days, well then you’ve just proven your sacrificial love even more.

            6. Spontaneous date!

              Surprise your partner with a spontaneous, mostly unplanned date. Head somewhere and go with the flow, or perhaps take a random drive. Sometimes it’s nice just to break the routine of everyday life, just so long as you don’t end up in a House of Wax situation.

              7. Talk to them

                It can be easy to stop talking properly, especially in a long-term relationship. Maybe you’ve gotten too comfortable, or don’t feel like there’s much to say. Just try! You may find out something you never knew, which hopefully will be a positive thing, as opposed to finding out your first cousins or something.

                8. Listen to them

                  It can be even easier to not listen properly when you have been with someone for a certain amount of time. You may not know it, but not listening properly can be really hurtful. Whether you think the topic isn’t that interesting or you feel like you’ve heard it all already, make the effort to listen. This is the person who is supposed to mean the most to you, why wouldn’t you care what they have to say?

                  9. Appreciate their advice

                    This can be anything from big life issues to smaller things, such a TV show recommendation. Trust me, it’s infuriating to recommend something to a partner, only to have them ignore or forget it and then come to you six months later with an “awesome show their friends recommended.” Don’t be that person. Appreciate the fact that they know you.

                    10. Engage in activities they like

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                      Make the effort to at least try and appreciate some of the things they love, even if you’re not the biggest fan. It will show that you’re taking an interest, and sometimes you may even be pleasantly surprised. For example, I watch a whole lot more NBA than I ever expected to, but I’ve found myself actually liking it now. I’m not advocating that you should change who you are for someone, but trying new things isn’t bad.

                      11. Celebrate

                        Unless you partner is adverse to this, properly celebrate things like your anniversary. Again, maybe the urge to do this will diminish over time, but try igniting that flame again. If this person is the love of your life, shouldn’t you want to celebrate and make a big deal out of your relationship milestones? You can do this in any way that suits you both, the important thing is to show that other person how much having them in your life means to you.

                        12. Make their birthday special

                          Again, this is only recommended if they actually like birthdays. Make your partner feel like the most important person in the world on their birthday. Running down to the mall the day beforehand and picking up any old crud you can find and handing it to them in a plastic bag will not make them feel good about themselves. In fact, they may even question how much they truly mean to you. I’m not saying you need to spend a lot of (or even any) money, presents don’t have to be tangible. Just make sure that you show them that time, thought and love went into whatever you do.

                          13. Movie night

                          Have your very own movie marathon with some of your partner’s favorite flicks and snacks.

                          14. Just hang out

                            Does your partner have a boring day of errands to run? Go with them and rock it. You love each other, so surely you’ll be able to make it more enjoyable just by being together. Plus, saving them from a day of boring chores by themselves is pretty damn romantic in my book.

                            15. Put the devices down

                              This is particularly important if you’re out having dinner or doing a specific activity together. Not being able to get through a single evening without being glued to your iPhone not only kills the romance, it’s also quite insulting.

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                              16. Make them breakfast

                                This is similar to the dinner idea, but coffee is involved, and caffeine makes everything better. If you can get away with it, surprise them with breakfast in bed. Sure, this is may be a cliché, but I prefer to think of it as a tried and true classic.

                                17. Discuss your fantasies

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                                  Show your partner you trust them by sharing your romantic and sexual fantasies with them, and let them do the same. Unless you’re a furry, they’re probably not going to get freaked out. It’s important to keep your sex life active and not let it get stale.

                                  18. Act on the fantasies

                                    I really hope this doesn’t need an explanation.

                                    19. Kiss them

                                      Just because you’ve been in a relationship for a long time doesn’t mean that kissing should go out the window. The sad fact is that fun make out sessions can diminish to quick, ‘see you later’ pecks. Make the effort to engage kisses with your partner, even on a daily basis. This will leave them feeling just as special and attractive as when you had your first kiss.

                                      20. Have a bath together

                                        This may not be doable for everyone, but if you have access to a bath, I highly recommend it. If you want to go for a more cuddly and romantic vibe than a sexy one, set up a laptop and watch a movie together in there. If you happen to have bathroom TV I only have this to say: What time can I come over?

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                                        21. Tell them that you love them

                                          And I don’t mean in that mechanical, not thinking about it way.

                                          22. Engage in inappropriate texting

                                            Just because you’ve been together for awhile doesn’t mean you can’t have some fun and get excited by them. Make them look especially forward to coming home by sending some ‘not safe for work’ texts. It’s exciting and will make them feel attractive and desired. Hopefully the boss doesn’t see.

                                            23. Look after each other during illness

                                            illness

                                              If you’re partner is sick, do everything you can to make them comfortable. This shows how much you love and care about them, even when they look like death warmed up.

                                              24. Buy a spontaneous gift

                                              This can be anything from a video game to their favorite candy bar. The monetary value isn’t important, it’s the fact that you got them something “just because.”

                                              25. Compliment them

                                              25

                                                Because it’s nice to be appreciated.

                                                26. Don’t let the romance die

                                                  Getting comfortable with one another is fine, just don’t let the romance die off completely. You may not always be able to maintain the same butterflies you experienced on your first date, but you can sure as hell try to make your partner feel loved and special every day.

                                                  Featured photo credit: Scott Broome via unsplash.com

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                                                  Tegan Jones

                                                  Commercial editor for global publications Gizmodo, Kotaku, Lifehacker & Business Insider.

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                                                  Last Updated on January 15, 2019

                                                  How To Stop Negative Thoughts from Killing Your Confidence

                                                  How To Stop Negative Thoughts from Killing Your Confidence

                                                  To have negative thoughts is to be human. The story of humanity is the story of an epic battle with negativity.

                                                  This is perhaps the most important question in existence: How do you conquer negative thoughts that are stifling your confidence and bringing you down?

                                                  You’d be surprised to know the answer to this question is much simpler than it seems.

                                                  Yet even the simplest things can easily drown beneath the roar and constant cascade of negative thoughts that seem justified. If you could ignore that roar, what would you do? Pursue a new career? Make new friends? Go on a date and begin a relationship with a person who seems unattainable?

                                                  To read on is to know you can do any of these things, and more — but at the same time, this is a dare: to read on is to accept the dare and choose a confident approach to actions that terrify you.

                                                  This article will help you stop negative thoughts by teaching you strategies to cope with them in actionable ways. You’ll learn how to view your thoughts differently, how to calm your mind, and how to be confident in your actions. Most importantly, you’ll step away from the page empowered and ready to pay attention to the world around you in a non-judgmental way.

                                                  1. Uncover the Root of Negative Thoughts

                                                  Here’s a revelation: four different studies showed that people who are unskilled tend to grossly overestimate their abilities. The studies measured humor, grammar, and logic. Participants who thought they were great were in fact incompetent.[1]

                                                  This shines a light on the root of your negative thoughts about your own abilities. Your self-doubt is a result of your intelligence. Instead of assuming you’re good, capable, skilled, and born ready to tackle any challenge, you analyze yourself and the situation. Past failings come to mind.

                                                  You think — you don’t just act — and when the brain gives itself time to think, any number of unwanted thoughts tend to pop up.

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                                                  There’s a good reason why: early humans evolved in a dangerous environment. We had to think about what could possibly go wrong almost all of the time. We were threatened by wild animals, natural disasters, rival tribes, and competitors in our own camps. Our brains are hardwired to look for danger, and when a challenge arises, instinct tells us to either fight or flee.

                                                  You have negative thoughts because your intelligent brain is considering all of the possibilities. Although the challenges you face may not be anywhere close to the extremity of a wild animal attack, they’re challenges nonetheless, and a muffled version of your fight-or-flight instinct kicks in.

                                                  2. Value Your Emotional IQ

                                                  We’ve established that your intelligence is contributing to negative thoughts, the type of thoughts that can kill your confidence if you focus on them. But have you ever thought about your emotional intelligence?

                                                  Otherwise known as EI, this is a quality that goes a long way in the professional world, where it’s extremely important for people to possess it. In a survey, 71 percent of hiring managers said EI is more important than IQ, and 58 percent won’t even hire somebody with a high IQ and low EI.[2] The University of Maryland identifies the following important aspects of EI:

                                                  • You recognize your emotions.
                                                  • You register the emotions of others.
                                                  • You can figure out what’s triggering your emotions.
                                                  • You “manage emotional info,” meaning you don’t just react when emotions flare, you are able to control yourself.

                                                  We’re taught to value the intellect from a very young age. We don’t place very much emphasis on the ability to recognize emotions and use them in effective ways. It’s this lack of balance that leads many of us to stumble.

                                                  Negative emotions cause negative thoughts, and emotion is triggered by something you can’t control. Likewise, the internal verbalisation of an emotion happens almost instantaneously — you don’t even notice when it happens. You feel sad because you didn’t get invited to a party. Suddenly, you start thinking you’re inadequate, and then defensiveness kicks in and you think, “I don’t like those people anyhow.”

                                                  Instead of reacting to emotion negatively, cultivate your EI. Recognize the emotion and understand that an emotion of this type is likely to cause negative thoughts. Also, recognize that the emotion is natural — it’s not right or wrong, it’s just a feeling you have.

                                                  Be there with the emotion, give it a name, give it a color, find a way to express it externally. Be creative, and if your expression feels sad, that’s because it’s authentic.

                                                  3. Recognize Unhealthy Actions That Reinforce Negative Thoughts

                                                  We thrive on stimulus. Basically, this means you seek out things to help you feel good. A lot of times, when kids are very young, parents do them a disservice by offering a stimulus at the wrong times. This carries through to adulthood.

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                                                  For example, when you were a kid, you were sad because kids were making fun of you at school. Negative thoughts surfaced almost immediately, like buoyant objects on waves of emotion. Instead of sitting with you in your sadness and helping you express it, your parents gave you something to eat, sat you down in front of the TV, and then put you to bed.

                                                  What’s wrong with that? The first thing to provide comfort was an external stimulus in the form of food. The psychology of food[3] is such that,

                                                  “We can form unhealthy relationships with the thing that is supposed to aid in our well being.”

                                                  Food — especially processed, sugary food that delivers a dopamine kick — is a powerful substance that engages all of the senses. When you learn to turn to an external stimulus like food as a way to make yourself feel better, you create a negative feedback loop. Down the line, you develop a stimulus habit, and then when you indulge in the habit, you get down on yourself after the initial satisfaction is gone.

                                                  Identify unhealthy habits and remove them as an option. They’re confidence killers. Replace them with healthy habits such as exercise, art, journaling, and caring for a pet or visiting relatives and old friends more often.

                                                  4. Make Regular Deposits in Your Confidence Account

                                                  You need to do little things that increase your confidence. That way, when discouraging thoughts rear up, you have a reservoir of confidence to rely on.

                                                  Here are some confidence-building activities:

                                                  1. Make a list of your strengths and things you’ve done (or are doing) that you’re proud of. Keep adding to the list regularly.
                                                  2. Do a power pose every day. According to psychologist Amy Cuddy, simply standing in an open, broad stance with arms raised like you scored a touchdown will train your brain to develop confidence.[4] Do this for about a minute each day in front of the mirror.
                                                  3. Challenge yourself with a new activity that isn’t out of reach. Take up yoga, learn how to sew or to cook a new type of food, memorize a poem or lyrics to a great song.
                                                  4. Exercise and get enough sleep.
                                                  5. Do the 100 days of rejection challenge. Jia Jiang, the owner of Rejection Therapy, desensitized himself to rejection and built courage by making crazy requests of people for 100 days.[5]
                                                  6. Make self-affirmative statements in your mind and out loud. Use your list of strengths. Say, “I am a good communicator, I am smart, I care for other people.” When your inner critic speaks up, counter it with self-affirmation.

                                                  Doing confidence-building exercises regularly pays off in the long-term. You’ll feel better physically and mentally, and negative thoughts won’t have the confidence-killing effect they once had.

                                                  5. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

                                                  This is a huge one. It’s incredibly easy to compare yourself to other people in today’s social media environment. A study showed that the more time people spend on Facebook, the more depressed they are.[6]

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                                                  People tend to share their achievements via status updates and post pictures that are flattering. It’s easy to compare yourself to your friends’ Facebook façade and come up lacking. Then, you decide to post an update that makes you look good, and if it doesn’t get a ton of likes and comments, you get the impression your Facebook friends don’t like you.

                                                  This applies a great deal to people who are in relationships as well. A study showed that when people are in a serious, dependent relationship, they tend to advertise it on Facebook.[7] Oftentimes, they do so because they’ve seen their friends do the same. If you’re not in a satisfying relationship, seeing someone’s positive status in the artificial environment of social media can be a serious downer. You end up comparing yourself to them without even realizing it.

                                                  University of Texas professor Raj Raghunathan recommends an alternative approach.[8]:

                                                  “Become a little more aware of what it is that you’re really good at, and what you enjoy doing. When you don’t need to compare yourself to other people, you gravitate towards things that you instinctively enjoy doing.”

                                                  Focus on what you enjoy. There will be no room for negative thoughts. You’ll get closer to mastering what you enjoy most and you’ll be confident in your mastery.

                                                  6. Practice Mindfulness as a Way of Life

                                                  Our Western mode of thought frames things in terms of problems and solutions. It’s tempting to say, “If negative thoughts are the problem, mindfulness is the solution.”

                                                  Mindfulness meditation isn’t a solution and expectations for mindfulness creates frustration. All you can expect of mindfulness is to be mindful.

                                                  Mindfulness is a way of life. It’s the practice of paying attention, it’s the practice of noting phenomena and releasing phenomena in the same way the lungs take in oxygen and release carbon dioxide.

                                                  How does mindfulness help you cope with negative thoughts? The mind takes note of the thought and then releases it.

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                                                  That’s all, there’s no magic here. There is the recognition that your brain and its thoughts are a functioning part of a phenomenal universe. At the risk of sounding cliche, a rolling stone grows no moss. The mind that releases thoughts and lets them go in the universe does not brood on them, therefore that mind remains fresh and ready for new challenges.

                                                  7. Judge Less, Do More

                                                  When we judge other people and gossip and make negative comments about them, we give negative thoughts power. We vocalize them and let them resound. Soon, this type of thinking becomes a habit, and it turns on the speaker. It’s like a dog biting an owner who trained the dog to bite people.

                                                  Don’t give negative thoughts about other people a foothold. Don’t make these thoughts an authority. Instead, practice loving-kindness meditation or something close to it. With loving-kindness, you sit and direct thoughts of well-being and unconditional love first to yourself, then to a friend, then to an acquaintance, and then to someone you don’t like.

                                                  Next, start writing down specific, achievable checkpoints, tasks, and goals for yourself. Write down dates and places and get as hyper-specific as possible. Make sure your checkpoints and goals revolve around what you enjoy doing. Keep a laminated copy of your to-do list in your pocket. Check things off: do more and enjoy the act of doing.

                                                  By focusing positive thoughts on yourself and others, and by focusing on your object of enjoyment, you’re training your brain. Soon, you are used to thinking positively and getting things done. Oh how good this feels!

                                                  The Bottom Line

                                                  Confidence is a habit. Like any habit, you need continual practice to build confidence. It’s easy to develop bad habits because you’re not thinking of some distant goal. You’re just engaging in an action repeatedly. Hand takes donut, puts donut in mouth, mouth chews, throat swallows, repeat. Why can’t positive habits be the same way?

                                                  Build your confidence by repeating routine actions that build confidence. Go to sleep with enough time for eight hours of shut-eye. Wake up, stretch, and hold a power pose for a minute while thinking self-affirming thoughts.

                                                  If you have time for exercise in the morning, exercise in the morning. Set a realistic goal to challenge yourself in some way that day. Then, with knowledge that you will tackle an achievable challenge, go through your day with mindful indulgence in each moment.

                                                  More Resources to Help You Stay Positive

                                                  Featured photo credit: rawpixel via unsplash.com

                                                  Reference

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