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25 Things About Growing Up That No One Will Tell You, So I Will

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25 Things About Growing Up That No One Will Tell You, So I Will

Growing up is never easy, everyone is bound to have their share of ups and downs. Particularly as you transition out of being a teen, times will be turbulent and challenging. While plenty of adults are quick to remind you about the stresses of life, it’s important to remember that you are allowed to enjoy your 20s. There are undoubtedly challenges ahead that will require hard work and dedication, but you can also stay entertained in the process. Get ready for your wild ride into adulthood with these 25 things everyone growing up will learn.

1. School Will Get More Important

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    I know you’re tired of hearing it, but school really does get more important. When you only have a few assignments per semester, one or two bad projects can make your grade take a hit.

    2. School Gets More Entertaining 

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      That being said, every so often in university you’ll have off beat hobby classes, like Philosophy of Harry Potter. Thankfully, this is also the class where you have one project for the whole semester and the professor’s always 10 minutes late.

      3. School Will Get More Fun

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        Despite the fact that you’ll be studying nonstop and sleeping never, you will be able to experience the perks of midnight fast food runs and prank wars.

        4. You Can Go To School ANYwhere

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          General studies are pretty much uniform across most nations. Even if you don’t go to school in another country, don’t forget that you really can just pick up and move. Striking out on your own for school could make all the difference in your life.

          5. Your Safe Places Will Always Be Your Favorite

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            As much as you grow up, and as far as you move away, the places you cuddled up as a toddler will always be your favorites. Suddenly, you’ll be looking for more reasons to visit Grandma’s house.

            6. Moving Will Always Suck

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              On the other hand, when you do move away, you find out why mom or dad was always so cranky on moving day. It doesn’t get better.

              7. Moving To New Places Will Never Get Old

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                But, seeing a completely new place and people will always be rewarding and stimulating.

                8. You Can Choose Your Work

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                  Everyone will tell you that you must choose a career that pays off. However, remember that you will spend approximately 90 000 hours at work over your life. Choose something you love.

                  9. You Can Choose Your Dream Life

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                    Though it’s easy to get tied down with responsibilities, you really can pursue the things you always dreamed of.

                    10. You Can Deviate From The Norm

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                      It might be comfortable to choose a predictable career, so you might be tempted to settle. However, more and more companies are adopting flexible work weeks and better employee conditions. If you throw yourself into what you love, you can usually find some ways to pay your bills.

                      11. Cooking Will Become Valuable

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                        You might get picked on for knowing how to cook now, but it won’t be long before everyone will be wishing they had your skills.

                        12. Cooking Will Make You Sexy

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                          In fact, you will be able to save money on dates if you know how to cook. Nothing is more sexy than someone who knows their way around the kitchen.

                          13. Being Smart And Dedicated Will Make You Sexy

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                            Similarly, you probably get made fun of if you are someone who pays attention in school. Don’t worry – give it five years and people will either envy your job, or your accomplishments.

                            14. Nerdy Interests Are Suddenly Valuable

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                              Similarly, having nerdy interests will start to pay off. Where you used to be made fun of for doing well in school, you now get paid to tutor.

                              15. You Will Find Your People

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                                Especially if you’re someone getting picked on, know that you will find your people as you grow up. As you move to new places, you naturally shed the assumptions of your past.

                                16. The World Is Bigger Than You Think

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                                  Keep in mind that the world is much bigger than you think. Thousands of distinct and impressive cultures span the globe, waiting for you to appreciate them.

                                  17. The World Is Scarier Than You Think

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                                    However, especially if you’ve grown up in the Western world, it can be easy to forget the terrible realities of much of the world. The fact of the matter is, you do need to be careful going about foreign places, but that doesn’t mean your decisions have to be cautious.

                                    18. You Are More Capable Than You Think

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                                      Even though the world is a challenging place, you will find you are tougher, and more adept at handling challenges than you thought.

                                      19. You Are More Talented Than You Think

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                                        You are also likely to find that your younger self was too critical on you.

                                        20. But Talent Isn’t Enough To Get You There

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                                          Even though you should appreciate yourself, unfortunately you’re about to find out that talent is not enough to get where you want to go. Hard work, perseverance, dedication, and tenacity are all required as well. But, if you can hone good work habits, you will be unstoppable.

                                          21. Money Is Worth More Than You Think

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                                            Money suddenly spends faster than you think as soon as you’re paying more of your own bills. For a long time, it will seem like no matter what you do, you barely make ends meet. 

                                            22. Being Thrifty Is Better Than You Think

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                                              Which is why you will suddenly discover why your parents made you reuse sandwich bags and wear your clothes more than once before washing.

                                              23. Living Simply Is It’s Own Reward

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                                                Even though this financial struggle isn’t always fun, you will learn to love living simply. Things money can’t buy really are the most rewarding.

                                                24. You Don’t Have Forever To Be Adventurous

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                                                  Make sure you strike out and discover a new corner of the world while you’re growing up, because you don’t have forever to be adventurous.

                                                  25. You Do Have Forever To Work Somewhere Soul Crushing

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                                                    There will however, always be repetitive, mundane jobs waiting for you when you get back.

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                                                    Alicia Prince

                                                    A writer, filmmaker, and artist who shares about lifestyle tips and inspirations on Lifehack.

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                                                    Last Updated on July 20, 2021

                                                    How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

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                                                    How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

                                                    You’re standing behind the curtain, just about to make your way on stage to face the many faces half-shrouded in darkness in front of you. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step. A familiar thump echoes throughout your body – your heartbeat has gone off the charts.

                                                    Don’t worry, you’re not the only one with glossophobia(also known as speech anxiety or the fear of speaking to large crowds). Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage.

                                                    Your body’s defence mechanism responds by causing a part of your brain to release adrenaline into your blood – the same chemical that gets released as if you were being chased by a lion.

                                                    Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you overcome your fear of public speaking:

                                                    1. Prepare yourself mentally and physically

                                                    According to experts, we’re built to display anxiety and to recognize it in others. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. Hence, it’s important to prepare yourself before the big show so that you arrive on stage confident, collected and ready.

                                                    “Your outside world is a reflection of your inside world. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside.” – Bob Proctor

                                                    Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain. Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:

                                                    Warming up

                                                    If you’re nervous, chances are your body will feel the same way. Your body gets tense, your muscles feel tight or you’re breaking in cold sweat. The audience will notice you are nervous.

                                                    If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body. It’s better to warm up before every speech as it helps to increase the functional potential of the body as a whole. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements.

                                                    Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time:

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                                                    1. Neck and shoulder rolls – This helps relieve upper body muscle tension and pressure as the rolls focus on rotating the head and shoulders, loosening the muscle. Stress and anxiety can make us rigid within this area which can make you feel agitated, especially when standing.
                                                    2. Arm stretches – We often use this part of our muscles during a speech or presentation through our hand gestures and movements. Stretching these muscles can reduce arm fatigue, loosen you up and improve your body language range.
                                                    3. Waist twists – Place your hands on your hips and rotate your waist in a circular motion. This exercise focuses on loosening the abdominal and lower back regions which is essential as it can cause discomfort and pain, further amplifying any anxieties you may experience.

                                                    Stay hydrated

                                                    Ever felt parched seconds before speaking? And then coming up on stage sounding raspy and scratchy in front of the audience? This happens because the adrenaline from stage fright causes your mouth to feel dried out.

                                                    To prevent all that, it’s essential we stay adequately hydrated before a speech. A sip of water will do the trick. However, do drink in moderation so that you won’t need to go to the bathroom constantly.

                                                    Try to avoid sugary beverages and caffeine, since it’s a diuretic – meaning you’ll feel thirstier. It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly.

                                                    Meditate

                                                    Meditation is well-known as a powerful tool to calm the mind. ABC’s Dan Harris, co-anchor of Nightline and Good Morning America weekend and author of the book titled10% Happier , recommends that meditation can help individuals to feel significantly calmer, faster.

                                                    Meditation is like a workout for your mind. It gives you the strength and focus to filter out the negativity and distractions with words of encouragement, confidence and strength.

                                                    Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is a popular method to calm yourself before going up on the big stage. The practice involves sitting comfortably, focusing on your breathing and then bringing your mind’s attention to the present without drifting into concerns about the past or future – which likely includes floundering on stage.

                                                    Here’s a nice example of guided meditation before public speaking:

                                                    2. Focus on your goal

                                                    One thing people with a fear of public speaking have in common is focusing too much on themselves and the possibility of failure.

                                                    Do I look funny? What if I can’t remember what to say? Do I look stupid? Will people listen to me? Does anyone care about what I’m talking about?’

                                                    Instead of thinking this way, shift your attention to your one true purpose – contributing something of value to your audience.

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                                                    Decide on the progress you’d like your audience to make after your presentation. Notice their movements and expressions to adapt your speech to ensure that they are having a good time to leave the room as better people.

                                                    If your own focus isn’t beneficial and what it should be when you’re speaking, then shift it to what does. This is also key to establishing trust during your presentation as the audience can clearly see that you have their interests at heart.[1]

                                                    3. Convert negativity to positivity

                                                    There are two sides constantly battling inside of us – one is filled with strength and courage while the other is doubt and insecurities. Which one will you feed?

                                                    ‘What if I mess up this speech? What if I’m not funny enough? What if I forget what to say?’

                                                    It’s no wonder why many of us are uncomfortable giving a presentation. All we do is bring ourselves down before we got a chance to prove ourselves. This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy – a belief that comes true because we are acting as if it already is. If you think you’re incompetent, then it will eventually become true.

                                                    Motivational coaches tout that positive mantras and affirmations tend to boost your confidents for the moments that matter most. Say to yourself: “I’ll ace this speech and I can do it!”

                                                    Take advantage of your adrenaline rush to encourage positive outcome rather than thinking of the negative ‘what ifs’.

                                                    Here’s a video of Psychologist Kelly McGonigal who encourages her audience to turn stress into something positive as well as provide methods on how to cope with it:

                                                    4. Understand your content

                                                    Knowing your content at your fingertips helps reduce your anxiety because there is one less thing to worry about. One way to get there is to practice numerous times before your actual speech.

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                                                    However, memorizing your script word-for-word is not encouraged. You can end up freezing should you forget something. You’ll also risk sounding unnatural and less approachable.

                                                    “No amount of reading or memorizing will make you successful in life. It is the understanding and the application of wise thought that counts.” – Bob Proctor

                                                    Many people unconsciously make the mistake of reading from their slides or memorizing their script word-for-word without understanding their content – a definite way to stress themselves out.

                                                    Understanding your speech flow and content makes it easier for you to convert ideas and concepts into your own words which you can then clearly explain to others in a conversational manner. Designing your slides to include text prompts is also an easy hack to ensure you get to quickly recall your flow when your mind goes blank.[2]

                                                    One way to understand is to memorize the over-arching concepts or ideas in your pitch. It helps you speak more naturally and let your personality shine through. It’s almost like taking your audience on a journey with a few key milestones.

                                                    5. Practice makes perfect

                                                    Like most people, many of us are not naturally attuned to public speaking. Rarely do individuals walk up to a large audience and present flawlessly without any research and preparation.

                                                    In fact, some of the top presenters make it look easy during showtime because they have spent countless hours behind-the-scenes in deep practice. Even great speakers like the late John F. Kennedy would spend months preparing his speech beforehand.

                                                    Public speaking, like any other skill, requires practice – whether it be practicing your speech countless of times in front of a mirror or making notes. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect!

                                                    6. Be authentic

                                                    There’s nothing wrong with feeling stressed before going up to speak in front of an audience.

                                                    Many people fear public speaking because they fear others will judge them for showing their true, vulnerable self. However, vulnerability can sometimes help you come across as more authentic and relatable as a speaker.

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                                                    Drop the pretence of trying to act or speak like someone else and you’ll find that it’s worth the risk. You become more genuine, flexible and spontaneous, which makes it easier to handle unpredictable situations – whether it’s getting tough questions from the crowd or experiencing an unexpected technical difficulty.

                                                    To find out your authentic style of speaking is easy. Just pick a topic or issue you are passionate about and discuss this like you normally would with a close family or friend. It is like having a conversation with someone in a personal one-to-one setting. A great way to do this on stage is to select a random audience member(with a hopefully calming face) and speak to a single person at a time during your speech. You’ll find that it’s easier trying to connect to one person at a time than a whole room.

                                                    With that said, being comfortable enough to be yourself in front of others may take a little time and some experience, depending how comfortable you are with being yourself in front of others. But once you embrace it, stage fright will not be as intimidating as you initially thought.

                                                    Presenters like Barack Obama are a prime example of a genuine and passionate speaker:

                                                    7. Post speech evaluation

                                                    Last but not the least, if you’ve done public speaking and have been scarred from a bad experience, try seeing it as a lesson learned to improve yourself as a speaker.

                                                    Don’t beat yourself up after a presentation

                                                    We are the hardest on ourselves and it’s good to be. But when you finish delivering your speech or presentation, give yourself some recognition and a pat on the back.

                                                    You managed to finish whatever you had to do and did not give up. You did not let your fears and insecurities get to you. Take a little more pride in your work and believe in yourself.

                                                    Improve your next speech

                                                    As mentioned before, practice does make perfect. If you want to improve your public speaking skills, try asking someone to film you during a speech or presentation. Afterwards, watch and observe what you can do to improve yourself next time.

                                                    Here are some questions you can ask yourself after every speech:

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                                                    • How did I do?
                                                    • Are there any areas for improvement?
                                                    • Did I sound or look stressed?
                                                    • Did I stumble on my words? Why?
                                                    • Was I saying “um” too often?
                                                    • How was the flow of the speech?

                                                    Write everything you observed down and keep practicing and improving. In time, you’ll be able to better manage your fears of public speaking and appear more confident when it counts.

                                                    If you want even more tips about public speaking or delivering a great presentation, check out these articles too:

                                                    Reference

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