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25 Things About Growing Up That No One Will Tell You, So I Will

25 Things About Growing Up That No One Will Tell You, So I Will

Growing up is never easy, everyone is bound to have their share of ups and downs. Particularly as you transition out of being a teen, times will be turbulent and challenging. While plenty of adults are quick to remind you about the stresses of life, it’s important to remember that you are allowed to enjoy your 20s. There are undoubtedly challenges ahead that will require hard work and dedication, but you can also stay entertained in the process. Get ready for your wild ride into adulthood with these 25 things everyone growing up will learn.

1. School Will Get More Important

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    I know you’re tired of hearing it, but school really does get more important. When you only have a few assignments per semester, one or two bad projects can make your grade take a hit.

    2. School Gets More Entertaining 

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      That being said, every so often in university you’ll have off beat hobby classes, like Philosophy of Harry Potter. Thankfully, this is also the class where you have one project for the whole semester and the professor’s always 10 minutes late.

      3. School Will Get More Fun

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        Despite the fact that you’ll be studying nonstop and sleeping never, you will be able to experience the perks of midnight fast food runs and prank wars.

        4. You Can Go To School ANYwhere

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          General studies are pretty much uniform across most nations. Even if you don’t go to school in another country, don’t forget that you really can just pick up and move. Striking out on your own for school could make all the difference in your life.

          5. Your Safe Places Will Always Be Your Favorite

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            As much as you grow up, and as far as you move away, the places you cuddled up as a toddler will always be your favorites. Suddenly, you’ll be looking for more reasons to visit Grandma’s house.

            6. Moving Will Always Suck

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              On the other hand, when you do move away, you find out why mom or dad was always so cranky on moving day. It doesn’t get better.

              7. Moving To New Places Will Never Get Old

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                But, seeing a completely new place and people will always be rewarding and stimulating.

                8. You Can Choose Your Work

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                  Everyone will tell you that you must choose a career that pays off. However, remember that you will spend approximately 90 000 hours at work over your life. Choose something you love.

                  9. You Can Choose Your Dream Life

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                    Though it’s easy to get tied down with responsibilities, you really can pursue the things you always dreamed of.

                    10. You Can Deviate From The Norm

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                      It might be comfortable to choose a predictable career, so you might be tempted to settle. However, more and more companies are adopting flexible work weeks and better employee conditions. If you throw yourself into what you love, you can usually find some ways to pay your bills.

                      11. Cooking Will Become Valuable

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                        You might get picked on for knowing how to cook now, but it won’t be long before everyone will be wishing they had your skills.

                        12. Cooking Will Make You Sexy

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                          In fact, you will be able to save money on dates if you know how to cook. Nothing is more sexy than someone who knows their way around the kitchen.

                          13. Being Smart And Dedicated Will Make You Sexy

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                            Similarly, you probably get made fun of if you are someone who pays attention in school. Don’t worry – give it five years and people will either envy your job, or your accomplishments.

                            14. Nerdy Interests Are Suddenly Valuable

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                              Similarly, having nerdy interests will start to pay off. Where you used to be made fun of for doing well in school, you now get paid to tutor.

                              15. You Will Find Your People

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                                Especially if you’re someone getting picked on, know that you will find your people as you grow up. As you move to new places, you naturally shed the assumptions of your past.

                                16. The World Is Bigger Than You Think

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                                  Keep in mind that the world is much bigger than you think. Thousands of distinct and impressive cultures span the globe, waiting for you to appreciate them.

                                  17. The World Is Scarier Than You Think

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                                    However, especially if you’ve grown up in the Western world, it can be easy to forget the terrible realities of much of the world. The fact of the matter is, you do need to be careful going about foreign places, but that doesn’t mean your decisions have to be cautious.

                                    18. You Are More Capable Than You Think

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                                      Even though the world is a challenging place, you will find you are tougher, and more adept at handling challenges than you thought.

                                      19. You Are More Talented Than You Think

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                                        You are also likely to find that your younger self was too critical on you.

                                        20. But Talent Isn’t Enough To Get You There

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                                          Even though you should appreciate yourself, unfortunately you’re about to find out that talent is not enough to get where you want to go. Hard work, perseverance, dedication, and tenacity are all required as well. But, if you can hone good work habits, you will be unstoppable.

                                          21. Money Is Worth More Than You Think

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                                            Money suddenly spends faster than you think as soon as you’re paying more of your own bills. For a long time, it will seem like no matter what you do, you barely make ends meet. 

                                            22. Being Thrifty Is Better Than You Think

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                                              Which is why you will suddenly discover why your parents made you reuse sandwich bags and wear your clothes more than once before washing.

                                              23. Living Simply Is It’s Own Reward

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                                                Even though this financial struggle isn’t always fun, you will learn to love living simply. Things money can’t buy really are the most rewarding.

                                                24. You Don’t Have Forever To Be Adventurous

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                                                  Make sure you strike out and discover a new corner of the world while you’re growing up, because you don’t have forever to be adventurous.

                                                  25. You Do Have Forever To Work Somewhere Soul Crushing

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                                                    There will however, always be repetitive, mundane jobs waiting for you when you get back.

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                                                    Alicia Prince

                                                    A writer, filmmaker, and artist who shares about lifestyle tips and inspirations on Lifehack.

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                                                    Last Updated on November 19, 2020

                                                    The Gentle Art of Saying No for a Less Stressful Life

                                                    The Gentle Art of Saying No for a Less Stressful Life

                                                    It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments—you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time. That’s why the art of saying no can be a game changer for productivity.

                                                    Requests for your time are coming in all the time—from family members, friends, children, coworkers, etc. To stay productive, minimize stress, and avoid wasting time, you have to learn the gentle art of saying no—an art that many people have problems with.

                                                    What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger, or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

                                                    However, it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here’s how to stop people pleasing and master the gentle art of saying no.

                                                    1. Value Your Time

                                                    Know your commitments and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it.

                                                    Be honest when you tell them that: “I just can’t right now. My plate is overloaded as it is.” They’ll sympathize as they likely have a lot going on as well, and they’ll respect your openness, honesty, and attention to self-care.

                                                    2. Know Your Priorities

                                                    Even if you do have some extra time (which, for many of us, is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time?

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                                                    For example, if my wife asks me to pick up the kids from school a couple of extra days a week, I’ll likely try to make time for it as my family is my highest priority. However, if a coworker asks for help on some extra projects, I know that will mean less time with my wife and kids, so I will be more likely to say no. 

                                                    However, for others, work is their priority, and helping on extra projects could mean the chance for a promotion or raise. It’s all about knowing your long-term goals and what you’ll need to say yes and no to in order to get there. 

                                                    You can learn more about how to set your priorities here.

                                                    3. Practice Saying No

                                                    Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word[1].

                                                    Sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.

                                                    4. Don’t Apologize

                                                    A common way to start out is “I’m sorry, but…” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important when you learn to say no, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm and unapologetic about guarding your time.

                                                    When you say no, realize that you have nothing to feel bad about. You have every right to ensure you have time for the things that are important to you. 

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                                                    5. Stop Being Nice

                                                    Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. However, if you erect a wall or set boundaries, they will look for easier targets.

                                                    Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.

                                                    6. Say No to Your Boss

                                                    Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss—they’re our boss, right? And if we start saying no, then we look like we can’t handle the work—at least, that’s the common reasoning[2].

                                                    In fact, it’s the opposite—explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.

                                                    7. Pre-Empting

                                                    It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting,

                                                    “Look, everyone, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects, and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”

                                                    This, of course, takes a great deal of awareness that you’ll likely only have after having worked in one place or been friends with someone for a while. However, once you get the hang of it, it can be incredibly useful.

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                                                    8. Get Back to You

                                                    Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, try saying no this way:

                                                    “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.”

                                                    At least you gave it some consideration.

                                                    9. Maybe Later

                                                    If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say,

                                                    “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].”

                                                    Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands. If you need to continue saying no, here are some other ways to do so[3]:

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                                                    Saying no the healthy way

                                                      10. It’s Not You, It’s Me

                                                      This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often, the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time.

                                                      Simply say so—you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization—but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true, as people can sense insincerity.

                                                      The Bottom Line

                                                      Saying no isn’t an easy thing to do, but once you master it, you’ll find that you’re less stressed and more focused on the things that really matter to you. There’s no need to feel guilty about organizing your personal life and mental health in a way that feels good to you.

                                                      Remember that when you learn to say no, isn’t about being mean. It’s about taking care of your time, energy, and sanity. Once you learn how to say no in a good way, people will respect your willingness to practice self-care and prioritization. 

                                                      More Tips for a Less Stressful Life

                                                      Featured photo credit: Kyle Glenn via unsplash.com

                                                      Reference

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