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25 Things About Growing Up That No One Will Tell You, So I Will

25 Things About Growing Up That No One Will Tell You, So I Will

Growing up is never easy, everyone is bound to have their share of ups and downs. Particularly as you transition out of being a teen, times will be turbulent and challenging. While plenty of adults are quick to remind you about the stresses of life, it’s important to remember that you are allowed to enjoy your 20s. There are undoubtedly challenges ahead that will require hard work and dedication, but you can also stay entertained in the process. Get ready for your wild ride into adulthood with these 25 things everyone growing up will learn.

1. School Will Get More Important

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    I know you’re tired of hearing it, but school really does get more important. When you only have a few assignments per semester, one or two bad projects can make your grade take a hit.

    2. School Gets More Entertaining 

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      That being said, every so often in university you’ll have off beat hobby classes, like Philosophy of Harry Potter. Thankfully, this is also the class where you have one project for the whole semester and the professor’s always 10 minutes late.

      3. School Will Get More Fun

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        Despite the fact that you’ll be studying nonstop and sleeping never, you will be able to experience the perks of midnight fast food runs and prank wars.

        4. You Can Go To School ANYwhere

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          General studies are pretty much uniform across most nations. Even if you don’t go to school in another country, don’t forget that you really can just pick up and move. Striking out on your own for school could make all the difference in your life.

          5. Your Safe Places Will Always Be Your Favorite

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            As much as you grow up, and as far as you move away, the places you cuddled up as a toddler will always be your favorites. Suddenly, you’ll be looking for more reasons to visit Grandma’s house.

            6. Moving Will Always Suck

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              On the other hand, when you do move away, you find out why mom or dad was always so cranky on moving day. It doesn’t get better.

              7. Moving To New Places Will Never Get Old

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                But, seeing a completely new place and people will always be rewarding and stimulating.

                8. You Can Choose Your Work

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                  Everyone will tell you that you must choose a career that pays off. However, remember that you will spend approximately 90 000 hours at work over your life. Choose something you love.

                  9. You Can Choose Your Dream Life

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                    Though it’s easy to get tied down with responsibilities, you really can pursue the things you always dreamed of.

                    10. You Can Deviate From The Norm

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                      It might be comfortable to choose a predictable career, so you might be tempted to settle. However, more and more companies are adopting flexible work weeks and better employee conditions. If you throw yourself into what you love, you can usually find some ways to pay your bills.

                      11. Cooking Will Become Valuable

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                        You might get picked on for knowing how to cook now, but it won’t be long before everyone will be wishing they had your skills.

                        12. Cooking Will Make You Sexy

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                          In fact, you will be able to save money on dates if you know how to cook. Nothing is more sexy than someone who knows their way around the kitchen.

                          13. Being Smart And Dedicated Will Make You Sexy

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                            Similarly, you probably get made fun of if you are someone who pays attention in school. Don’t worry – give it five years and people will either envy your job, or your accomplishments.

                            14. Nerdy Interests Are Suddenly Valuable

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                              Similarly, having nerdy interests will start to pay off. Where you used to be made fun of for doing well in school, you now get paid to tutor.

                              15. You Will Find Your People

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                                Especially if you’re someone getting picked on, know that you will find your people as you grow up. As you move to new places, you naturally shed the assumptions of your past.

                                16. The World Is Bigger Than You Think

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                                  Keep in mind that the world is much bigger than you think. Thousands of distinct and impressive cultures span the globe, waiting for you to appreciate them.

                                  17. The World Is Scarier Than You Think

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                                    However, especially if you’ve grown up in the Western world, it can be easy to forget the terrible realities of much of the world. The fact of the matter is, you do need to be careful going about foreign places, but that doesn’t mean your decisions have to be cautious.

                                    18. You Are More Capable Than You Think

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                                      Even though the world is a challenging place, you will find you are tougher, and more adept at handling challenges than you thought.

                                      19. You Are More Talented Than You Think

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                                        You are also likely to find that your younger self was too critical on you.

                                        20. But Talent Isn’t Enough To Get You There

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                                          Even though you should appreciate yourself, unfortunately you’re about to find out that talent is not enough to get where you want to go. Hard work, perseverance, dedication, and tenacity are all required as well. But, if you can hone good work habits, you will be unstoppable.

                                          21. Money Is Worth More Than You Think

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                                            Money suddenly spends faster than you think as soon as you’re paying more of your own bills. For a long time, it will seem like no matter what you do, you barely make ends meet. 

                                            22. Being Thrifty Is Better Than You Think

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                                              Which is why you will suddenly discover why your parents made you reuse sandwich bags and wear your clothes more than once before washing.

                                              23. Living Simply Is It’s Own Reward

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                                                Even though this financial struggle isn’t always fun, you will learn to love living simply. Things money can’t buy really are the most rewarding.

                                                24. You Don’t Have Forever To Be Adventurous

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                                                  Make sure you strike out and discover a new corner of the world while you’re growing up, because you don’t have forever to be adventurous.

                                                  25. You Do Have Forever To Work Somewhere Soul Crushing

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                                                    There will however, always be repetitive, mundane jobs waiting for you when you get back.

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                                                    Alicia Prince

                                                    A writer, filmmaker, and artist who shares about lifestyle tips and inspirations on Lifehack.

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                                                    Last Updated on April 6, 2020

                                                    10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively

                                                    10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively

                                                    Most discussions on positively influencing others eventually touch on Dale Carnegie’s seminal work, How to Win Friends and Influence People. Written more than 83 years ago, the book touches on a core component of human interaction, building strong relationships. It is no wonder why.

                                                    Everything that we do hinges on our ability to connect with others and formulate deep relationships. You cannot sell a house, buy a house, advance in most careers, sell a product, pitch a story, teach a course, etc. without building healthy relationships. Managers get the best results from their teams, not through brute force, but to careful appeals to their sensibilities, occasional withdrawals from the reservoir of respect they’ve built. Using these tactics, they can influence others to excellence, to productivity, and to success.

                                                    Carnegie’s book is great. Of course, there are other resources too. Most of us have someone in our lives who positively influences us. The truth is positively influencing people is about centering the humanity of others. Chances are, you know someone who is really good at making others feel like stars. They can get you to do things that the average person cannot. Where the requests of others sound like fingernails on a chalkboard, the request from this special person sounds like music to your ears. You’re delighted to not only listen but also to oblige.

                                                    So how to influence people in a positive way? Read on for tips.

                                                    1. Be Authentic

                                                    To influence people in a positive way, be authentic. Rather than being a carbon copy of someone else’s version of authenticity, uncover what it is that makes you unique.

                                                    Discover your unique take on an issue and then live up to and honor that. Once of the reasons social media influencers are so powerful is that they have carved out a niche for themselves or taken a common issue and approached it from a novel or uncommon way. People instinctually appreciate people whose public persona matches their private values.

                                                    Contradictions bother us because we crave stability. When someone professes to be one way, but lives contrary to that profession, it signals that they are confused or untrustworthy and thereby, inauthentic. Neither of these combinations bode well for positively influencing others.

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                                                    2. Listen

                                                    Growing up, my father would tell me to listen to what others said. He told me if I listened carefully, I would know all I needed to know about a person’s character, desires and needs.

                                                    To positively influence others, you must listen to what is spoken and what is left unsaid. Therein lies the explanation for what people need in order to feel validated, supported and seen. If a person feels they are invisible, and unseen by their superiors, they are less likely to be positively influenced by that person.

                                                    Listening meets a person’s primary need of validation and acceptance.

                                                    Take a look at this guide on how to be a better listener: How to Practice Active Listening (A Step-By-Step Guide)

                                                    3. Become an Expert

                                                    Most people are predisposed to listen to, if not respect, authority. If you want to positively influence others, become an authority in the area in which you seek to lead others. Research and read everything you can about the given topic, and then look for opportunities to put your education into practice.

                                                    You can argue over opinions. You cannot argue, or it is unwise to argue, over facts and experts come with facts.

                                                    4. Lead with Story

                                                    From years of working in the public relations space, I know that personal narratives, testimonials and impact stories are incredibly powerful. But I never cease to be amazed with how effective a well-timed and told story can be.

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                                                    If you want to influence people, learn to tell stories. Your stories should be related to the issue or concept you are discussing. They should be an analogy or metaphor that explains your topic in ordinary terms and in vivid detail. To learn more about how to tell powerful stories, and the ethics of storytelling, take a look at this article: How To Tell An Interesting Story In 4 Simple Steps

                                                    5. Lead by Example

                                                    It is incredibly inspiring to watch passionate, talented people at work or play. One of the reasons a person who is not an athlete can be in awe of athletic prowess is because human nature appreciates the extraordinary. When we watch the Olympics, Olympic trials, gymnastic competitions, ice skating, and other competitive sports, we can recognize the effort of people who day in and day out give their all. C

                                                    ase in point: Simone Biles. The gymnast extraordinaire won her 6TH all-around title at the U.S. Gymnastics Championships after doing a triple double. She was the first woman to do so. Watching her gave me chills. Even non-gymnasts and non-competitive athletes can appreciate the talent required to pull off such a remarkable feat.

                                                    We celebrate remarkable accomplishments and believe that their example is proof that we too can accomplish something great, even if it isn’t qualifying for the Olympics. To influence people in a positive way, we must lead by example, lead with intention and execute with excellence.

                                                    6. Catch People Doing Good

                                                    A powerful way to influence people in a positive way is to catch people doing good. Instead of looking for problems, look for successes. Look for often overlooked, but critically important things that your peers, subordinates and managers do that make the work more effective and more enjoyable.

                                                    Once you catch people doing good, name and notice their contributions.

                                                    7. Be Effusive with Praise

                                                    It did not take me long to notice a remarkable trait of a former boss. He not only began and ended meetings with praise, but he peppered praise throughout the entire meeting. He found a way to celebrate the unique attributes and skills of his team members. He was able to quickly and accurately assess what people were doing well and then let them and their colleagues know.

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                                                    Meetings were not just an occasion to go through a “To Do” list, they were opportunities to celebrate accomplishments, no matter how small they are.

                                                    8. Be Kind Rather Than Right

                                                    I am going to level with you; this one is tough. It is easy to get caught up in a cycle of proving oneself. For people who lack confidence, or people who prioritize the opinions of others, being right is important. The validation that comes with being perceived as “right” feeds one’s ego. But in the quest to be “right,” we can hurt other people. Once we’ve hurt someone by being unkind, it is much harder to get them to listen to what we’re trying to influence them to do.

                                                    The antidote to influencing others via bullying is to prioritize kindness above rightness. You can be kind and still stand firm in your position. For instance, many people think that they need others to validate their experience. If a person does not see the situation you experienced in the way you see it, you get upset. But your experience is your experience.

                                                    If you and your friends go out to eat and you get food poisoning, you do not need your friends to agree that the food served at the restaurant was problematic for you. Your own experience of getting food poisoning is all the validation you need. Therefore, taking time to be right is essentially wasted and, if you were unkind in seeking validation for your food-poison experience, now you’ve really lost points.

                                                    9. Understand a Person’s Logical, Emotional and Cooperative Needs

                                                    The Center for Creative Leadership has argued that the best way to influence others is to appeal to their logical, emotional and cooperative needs. Their logical need is their rational and educational need. Their emotional need is the information that touches them in a deeply personal manner. The cooperative need is understanding the level of cooperation various individuals need and then appropriately offering it.

                                                    The trick with this system is to understand that different people need different things. For some people, a strong emotional appeal will outweigh logical explanations. For others, having an opportunity to collaborate will override emotional connection.

                                                    If you know your audience, you will know what they need in order to be positively influenced. If you have limited information about the people whom you are attempting to influence, you will be ineffective.

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                                                    10. Understand Your Lane

                                                    If you want to positively influence others, operate from your sphere of influence. Operate from your place of expertise. Leave everything else to others. Gone are the days when being a jack of all trades is celebrated.

                                                    Most people appreciate brands that understand their target audience and then deliver on what that audience wants. When you focus on what you are uniquely gifted and qualified to do, and then offer that gift to the people who need it, you are likely more effective. This effectiveness is attractive.

                                                    You cannot positively influence others if you are more preoccupied by what others do well versus what you do well.

                                                    Final Thoughts

                                                    Influencing people is about centering your humanity. If you want to influence others positively, focus on the way you communicate and improve the relationship with yourself first.

                                                    It’s hard to influence others if you’re still trying to figure out how to communicate with yourself.

                                                    More Tips About Making Influence

                                                    Featured photo credit: Wonderlane via unsplash.com

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