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20 Things You Need To Stop Doing In Your 20s

20 Things You Need To Stop Doing In Your 20s

Your 20s are a time when everything seems possible, but it also seems like everything is passing you by. It’s no secret that these days, adolescence is being stretched past our teen years, and many of us are suffering for it. Here are some of the habits and hang-ups we typically face during our 20s and what we need to do let them go.

1. Stop caring more about approval than earning it.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to feel validated for your hard work. The problem is when you spend more time searching for a pat on the back than going out and giving people a reason to recognize you.

2. Stop being thankless.

Being ungrateful, unappreciative, or however else you want to say it, is the same as being selfish. Sure, you’d never admit that you’re an overall selfish person, but you may be oblivious to all of the goodwill thrown your way. Take moments to recognize the people in your life that are responsible for your happiness.

3. Stop comparing yourself to everyone else.

There are two sides to this. On the one hand, it’s essential for you to let yourself be motivated by the success of others. That is what will push and inspire you to accomplish more for your own life. The dark side to this is envy. Your 20’s are a time when you must learn how to be content with your limitations and accomplishments, putting aside the pettiness of envy.

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4. Stop being lazy.

If you really want to stop being lazy and start being more productive, remove the things from your life that are keeping you lazy. Our generation is unique. We have a wealth of technology and endless distractions at our fingertips, but we’re lazier than ever with gifts that should be making us happy, not inactive. It’s time to prioritize.

5. Stop being busy.

Sometimes, being lazy doesn’t look like laziness. It can look like you’re busy. Instead of working, creating, and contributing, you’re settling for an infinite array of tasks that will keep you distracted until you get from point A to point B. Start making time for the things that matter.

6. Stop being narcissistic.

Get over yourself. Let people get to know the real you, not a fake image you’ve put up for yourself through selfies and clever Tweets.

7. Stop blaming others.

The buck stops with you now. You’re not a kid anymore, so it’s time to own up to your own failings. Your lot in life may not be 100% your doing, but your attitude is.

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8. Stop putting things off.

Don’t let the prime of your life slip you by. Start taking advantage of the adventures life won’t give you a second chance on before settling down. Go for the dream job. Move somewhere you’ve never heard of. It won’t be long before you lose your chance.

9. Stop thinking you’re invincible.

I love taking stupid risks too, but it’s time to take care of yourself. Go to the doctor, avoid dangerous stunts and stop forcing everyone around you to worry constantly about you.

10. Stop relying on your parents so much.

This is easier said than done, but it’s time. You’ll make mistakes, feel trapped, and it won’t always be fun. But you’ll be amazed at how strong you really are.

11. Stop being disagreeable.

When someone offers a viewpoint different from yours, don’t do everything in your power to prove you’re perfect. Start understanding that there are people in this world who are smarter than you and will disagree with you. Embrace them as opportunities for growth, not ways for you to win an empty argument.

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12. Stop treating your job as a daycare.

I’ve come across a lot of 20 somethings who believe the point of their job is to collect a paycheck and move on. They’re then shocked when they get overlooked for promotions, raises, or keeping that job. Don’t let your work be average or “good enough.” Provide value for the people who employ you.

13. Stop letting fear and uncertainty stop you.

Fear isn’t really a choice. It’s a door that we can choose to either walk through or walk away from. In most cases, it’s never going to be easier to walk through later on, so let it go. Don’t let yourself become full of regret.

14. Stop being cheap.

There’s value to a minimal lifestyle, and frugality isn’t something to trend away from. But you should also let yourself spend money on the things you truly want, within reason. Buy the nicer clothes once in a while. Buy food that is good for you. Saving money is vital, but so is investing in the things that make you happy.

15. Stop daydreaming.

You should never stop having dreams and goals, but the time is up for you to spend all of your time planning ahead. Live in the moment more and focus on accomplishing what’s already before you. Save the dreaming for moments of meditation and reflection.

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16. Stop expecting life to be fair.

Bad things happen. People will wrong you. Instead of dwelling on what you can’t change, consider that you can’t expect the world or anything to be perfect when no one is more imperfect than you.

17. Stop resisting change.

Your 20’s are a volatile time. Let go of the past and adapt to the inevitable changes of life. Start appreciating the new and memorable things that come your way.

18. Stop allowing yourself to be too comfortable.

Your best is ahead of you.

19. Stop living your life for others.

You should take care of your responsibilities and those who rely on you, but you also need to start making your own decisions. If your career, lifestyle, and location have all been decided for you, then there’s less for you take ownership of.

20. Stop being a follower.

There’s nothing with having mentors and people to look up to, but it’s time for you to start leading. Do what it takes to formulate strong and respectable opinions on what you value. As you navigate through the many challenges of young adulthood, get used to exhibiting the leadership that is expected of you once your 20s are over.

You may also want to read: 7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life.

More by this author

Jon Negroni

An author and blogger who shares about lifestyle advice

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Last Updated on April 23, 2019

13 Ways Happy People Think and Feel Differently

13 Ways Happy People Think and Feel Differently

Let me begin by being 100% frank with you – everyone is capable of happiness.

Happiness is first a choice but it also takes persistence to maintain. Happiness is our birth right and my mission is to help as many people as I can live their happiest life.

My mission is to spread the message that everyone deserves happiness.

To live a happy life; however, you must do the work, gain the necessary knowledge, and increase your awareness.

You must fully embody this state and begin to think and feel happiness on every level of your being.

Often times, excuses present themselves and our mind gives us the reasons why we can’t be happy:

“I am too busy right now to focus on happiness”

“I will be happy when I finish school, when I have the money, when I am in the right relationship, when I have kids, when my children are older….”

“I would have had a happy life if this traumatic event had never happened”

“I don’t deserve happiness”

EVERYONE deserves happiness. The reason that you are here right now is because you have a purpose and you are on the earth to enjoy your journey.

Think BIGGER than your excuses. Push FARTHER than your complaints.

Don’t be pulled away from greatness. Get uncomfortable. At least these are what happy and successful people do on a daily basis.

This article highlights the top 13 tips and tricks of how happy people think and feel.

If you would like to begin embodying this life-changing state, then… Here are the 13 ways Happy People Think and Feel Differently:

1. Happy People Put Happiness First

Happy people have made the decision that their end goal is happiness.

Every situation, event, bad day ultimately ends with happiness.

To them, happiness is equivalent to sleep and water – it is a necessity to their life. To live an unhappy life is to have never lived at all.

The happy person asks,

“What would be the point of living if every day and moment were filled with negativity?”

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“Why would I deplete my energy on negativity when I expend less to be positive?”

They make happy-based decisions which means in EVERY MOMENT they choose happiness.

If their circumstances can’t change then they instead change their perspective, they look for the silver lining in the negative.

Happy people don’t let negativity steal their moments away – a positive mindset always prevails.

If you ask a happy person how their day was, they will always answer your question with a highlight or a lesson learned.

2. Happy People Embrace Pain

I know what you are thinking –

“No one is ALWAYS happy”

or …

“Even happy people get in bad moods”

and …

These statements are absolutely accurate.

Happy people aren’t always happy and they DO get into bad moods. They get overwhelmed, they feel defeated, and their feelings get hurt.

Happy people aren’t invincible and they feel pain just like everyone else. The only difference between happy people and people who let negativity run their lives is that…

Happy people quickly acknowledge their pain and they make a decision to find a way to transform their pain into something greater. They also use these 13 simple ways to shake off the sadness.

Happy people admit the negativity they feel and they do what it takes to get back into their natural state: happiness.

When your end goal is happiness, then you will find a way to achieve it no matter how much strength you have to muster.

3. Happy People Have a Happy Self-Image

We all have an image in our minds that we subconsciously live up to.

The reason that change is so hard is because our subconscious mind is programmed to live by how we define ourselves.

How are you currently defining yourself?

For happy people, they see themselves with a smile, positive outlook, and/or a bounce in their step. When an event or situation arises that brings in a negative emotion, they quickly change their state to resemble their natural self-image.

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When happy people are in a bad mood, it feels unusual to them because feeling negative isn’t aligned with how they see themselves.

When they feel upset, they acknowledge the negativity and look for a solution to bring their emotions to the level of how they perceive themselves.

Look at how you define yourself today – your mind and body are always trying to live up to the definition it is taught to believe.

Your body’s job is to keep you in a “normal” state because this is where it feels most comfortable.

If your self-image is happy, then your mind and body will naturally be brought back to where it feels at home. Your actions will be a clue to how you define yourself.

4. Happy People Have a Strong Support System

The happiest people know that it takes a village and they lean on others for support.

Happy people feel comfortable reaching out for help when they feel that their resistances are overpowering them. They quickly sense their negativity and they tell somebody.

Happy people ask for assistance when they can’t figure out a problem. Seeking help takes strength and it never gets in the way of their self-worth. Happy people appreciate the wisdom that their support system provides.

They have strong connections with the people who are close to them. They never trudge through tough times alone because jeopardizing their happiness for too long would be detrimental to their well-being.

5. Happy People Safeguard Their Minds from Negative Triggers

Warding off negativity is almost impossible when we live in a society that lives by what went wrong and feeds off of what could go wrong. News travels instantaneously so it would be unrealistic to shut this out of your life completely.

However, one strategy that happy people use to safeguard their minds is regulating their environment.

We have a lot of control on how we allow our environments to affect us. We can control our social media feed, the television shows and movies we watch, the books that we read, the people that we spend our time with, and the places that we hang out.

If happiness is your end goal, then take a good look at what is bringing you down. What triggers your unhappiness? See if there is anything in your environment that can be changed……

What we listen to, read, and who we hang out with influence our mind, what we think about, what we worry about, our reactions, and behaviors.

Happy people know what triggers a feeling of negativity and it feels out of alignment for them so they do what it takes to avoid it.

They might regulate their social media news feed to reflect the information that brings them positive energy. They might regulate the people that they spend their time with. It is important to hang out with like-minded people.

What are you triggers? How can you avoid the negativity in your environment?

These are ways that happy people regulate their environment and safeguard their minds.

6. Happy People Know When to Say “No”

Happy people know when to sit one out and say “no.” They do this to protect their happiness and well-being.

Life gets overwhelming – a lot of people need our attention and the to do list can seem never ending.

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Happy people give themselves permission to take the day off and they feel comfortable with saying “no” when their stress levels begin to climb. They understand that those around them aren’t benefiting from someone who is frazzled, overwhelmed, and tired.

A happy person identifies their negative emotion and then they quickly treat it to bring themselves back to their “normal” state, so that they can be at their best for not only themselves but for those around them, too.

A simple “no” can ultimately mean many more “yes’s” in the future because happiness has a long battery life. You can take a look at Leo Babauta’s article The Gentle Art of Saying No and learn to say no.

7. Happy People Are Good Evaluators

Happy people can quickly sense when something is off with themselves or others. They are very intuitive to happiness levels. When someone isn’t quite right, they are the first ones to notice.

Being able to evaluate happiness means that you can identify when negativity is lingering around for too long.

We all have bad days; however, the happy person evaluates often and quickly intervenes.

In other words, happy people frequently evaluate their state and immediately change when their pessimism is overshadowing their joy.

8. Happy People Bring Other People Up

What goes on inside of us is mirrored into our physical world.

What we think about literally consumes our life and is displayed in our work, relationships, and attitude.

Happy people naturally feel good inside and about themselves so they treat others the way that they treat themselves. It never feels forced to give a compliment or to help out a stranger.

When we are truly happy with ourselves, everyone around us has a better experience. Happy people are kind to themselves and because of this, it feels natural to them to want to make others’ happy, too.

9. Happy People Go After Their Dreams

Happy people are always following the joyful path. They make happy-based decisions and because of this, they always end up where they want to be.

It’s absolutely impossible to be happy by following an undesirable path, which is quite opposite for unhappy people.

Most people journey through life on a path they think they are “supposed” to be own. Warning signs (negativity) are often ignored because they truly believe that these feelings are a normal part of life.

Negativity is NOT normal.

The happiest people investigate the negativity in their life and quickly analyze the results. This process allows them to get back on the joyful path which ends in a desirable outcome.

Follow your happiness and your dreams will come true (If that isn’t motivation then I don’t know what is!)

In addition to happiness, here are 14 amazing things that happen when you live your passion.

10. Happy People Never Sweat the Small Stuff

The only expectation that the happy person has is that they remain in a joyful state.

They rarely have expectations for the events and people in their lives because they know that this is a sure way to get let down.

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The happiest people take life as it comes – you could say that they roll with the punches. When you don’t have expectations, thenyoue can just sit back and watch how beautifully life unfolds.

Happy people understand that bad things are inevitable, they are a part of life – The car will break, the kids will make mistakes, people will be late, and dinner will burn.

If it’s not anything seriously affecting their lives, then they don’t give their energy to it.

11. Happy People Rarely Have to Prove That They Are Right

Happy people remember that it’s more important to live up to what they believe. When you live your life aligned with your belief system, then there is no need to explain or prove yourself to others.

Differences in opinions are inevitable, but the happiest of people know it’s wasted energy to defend their position.

It is more effective to simply show people, through actions, how you think, feel, and what you believe.

Energy is saved, arguments are diminished, and credibility/respect are gained when we live by what we believe.

12. Happy People Smile (Even When They Don’t Want To)

Smiling is one of the healthiest things we can do; and happy people use this simple trick quite often.

It has been proven that smiling has the ability to boost your immune system, decrease stress levels, and can even make you look younger. The benefits of smiling have even been backed up by science.[1]

Better yet, smiling is contagious. When you engage in a quick smile, you are likely to brighten someone else’s day along with your own. It is no wonder why happy people smile often!

13. Happy People Live Life in the Present Moment.

When we are genuinely happy, we are living for the moment.

Happy people let go of the past, enjoy the present, and look forward to the future. They take the moments for what they are worth – they only invest their energy in what feels right to them.

Everyone is capable of living a happy-centered life. You deserve a life that you desire – your dream life. All you have to start doing is make happy-based decisions TODAY.

In every moment, decide on what makes you happy – decide on what gets you excited. Stop doing what you don’t love, don’t listen to the people that you dislike.

If you are engaging in something that isn’t bringing you joy, then quit doing it. Listen to your heart, stop ignoring the warning signs (negativity) because they are there for a reason.

I have observed, studied, and interviewed some of the happiest and most successful people along with some of the most miserable and self-loathing.

It starts with one decision – happiness.

The happiest, most successful people choose happiness with EACH and EVERY decision. And you can start doing this today.

Featured photo credit: Autumn Goodman via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Harvard Business Review: The Science Behind the Smile

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