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20 Things Only Sisters Who Live Apart Would Understand

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20 Things Only Sisters Who Live Apart Would Understand

Do you have a sister? Being close to your sister is a blessing, as she was there from the start and has had your back ever since. Friendships between sisters are filled with highs and lows, but either way, you’ll always miss her whenever she is far away.

Here are 20 struggles sisters who live far apart go through.

1. Wanting To Speak To Each Other But Being In Different Time Zones

You’ve spent the whole day looking forward to getting home from work so you can finally catch up with your sister – only to realize it’s 3a.m where she is, and there’s no way she is awake. Eventually you get used to Skyping at the weirdest times.

2. Having To Reassure Your Parents That Your Sister Is Fine And Healthy – Every Day

Your worried parents hassle you every day to find out how your sister is doing – which is pretty annoying, because you’re not always 100% sure of the answer.

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3. Feeling Weirdly Grown Up When You Tell Her About Your Life

Once upon a time, all you and your sister talked about was toys and new games. So sometimes it feels weird when you tell her about the promotion you want, and the yoga class you just started. When did you two become adults?!

4. Planning A Skype Chat That Is Ruined By Slow Internet

You had the Skype catch up session planned for five days, but you didn’t plan for your internet to be too slow to even sign in to Skype. Maybe tomorrow night?

5. Having To Stalk Her On Social Media To Know What Is Going On In Her Life

You haven’t managed to get through to your sister for a week, and so you’ve spent the last 20 minutes scrolling through her Facebook, looking for new pictures and status up-dates. You just want to make sure she’s okay – and to see what her new friends look like.

6. Feeling Weird About Visiting Your Parents And Your Sister Not Being There

Every time you go home, you feel a little sad that your sister isn’t right beside you. It just isn’t the same without her.

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7. Trying To Talk But Having No Signal

You’re finally both free at the same time! But just as the phone call starts getting interesting, your phone cuts out. And so begins half an hour of re-dialling, missing each other’s calls and getting cut off again. How will you find out what happened when she went out last night?!

8. Using Skype To Remind Each Other What You Look Like

It’s been a long time since you actually saw each other face to face – so you feel a little teary eyed when you finally see her smiling back at you.

9. Trying To Avoid Mentioning All Of The Crazy Stories Your Sister Told You To Your Parents

After a long catch-up, your parents want to know everything you and your sister spoke about, but you wisely decide to leave out the story about her getting drunk and throwing up in a taxi. In fact, you only feel comfortable repeating about quarter of the conversation to your parents.

10. Unplanned Skyping At Four In The Morning Because You’re Finally Online At The Same Time

Yes, you were totally asleep, but you can finally discuss the season finale of your favorite show with your sister!

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11. Being Confused By The New Words And Phrases She Uses

She has picked up all of the cool words and phrases where she lives; unfortunately, you’ve only visited her twice and you have no idea what she means.

12. Sending Essay Emails Because You Don’t Want To Miss Out Anything

The email may be as long as a short novel, but you need to tell your sister about absolutely everything, from the meals you’ve eaten to updating her on your work drama.

13. Worrying About If She Is Making Friends

You know she’s the nicest, funniest person you know – but what will other people think? You spend hours worrying about if she has made friends – only for her to end a call shortly so she can go for a night out with her new crew. You feel relief and jealousy that you are staying in tonight.

14. Passionately Hating People Who Are Mean To Your Sister

She told you over two months ago that one of her bosses turned down a good idea she had, and he is still at the top of your enemy list today.

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15. Feeling Jealous Of Her Flatmate

They get to see your sister every day, they can spend their evenings cooking food and watching TV shows – you’re not sure when you last felt this jealous.

16. Noticing She Took Some Of Your Clothes With Her

Last time you Skyped, you noticed your favorite dress in the background, and you went crazy. Now that she lives so far away, it’s basically hers by default.

17. Finding Your Parents Twice As Annoying Now Your Sister Isn’t Here

You didn’t realize it at the time, but your sister helped dilute your parents. Now, it’s just you in the firing line.

18. Wanting To See Each Other But Not Being Able To Afford It

If you could, you would visit every single weekend for a few drinks and a catch up, but your bank balance won’t allow it. For now, you message each other every day and patiently wait until pay day.

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19. Reminiscing On The Times You Shared A Home

All of the inside jokes, games and fights – you both love to discuss all of the great memories you have together, while wishing you could still see each other every day.

20. Realizing Nothing Has Changed Besides The Distance

She may live far away, but nothing has changed for either of you. You both can’t wait to get on the phone for a catch up, and she still knows you always have her back, even if you can’t always be with her.

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Amy Johnson

Amy is a writer who blogs about relationships and lifestyle advice.

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Last Updated on January 5, 2022

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

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How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

Expressing Anger

Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

Being Passive-Aggressive

This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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Poorly-Timed

Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

Ongoing Anger

Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

Healthy Ways to Express Anger

What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

Being Honest

Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

Being Direct

Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

Being Timely

When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

How to Deal With Anger

If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

1. Slow Down

From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

2. Focus on the “I”

Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

3. Work out

When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

4. Seek Help When Needed

There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

5. Practice Relaxation

We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

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That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

6. Laugh

Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

7. Be Grateful

It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

Final Thoughts

Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go or motivated. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

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More Resources on Anger Management

Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

Reference

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