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20 Things Only Sisters Who Live Apart Would Understand

20 Things Only Sisters Who Live Apart Would Understand

Do you have a sister? Being close to your sister is a blessing, as she was there from the start and has had your back ever since. Friendships between sisters are filled with highs and lows, but either way, you’ll always miss her whenever she is far away.

Here are 20 struggles sisters who live far apart go through.

1. Wanting To Speak To Each Other But Being In Different Time Zones

You’ve spent the whole day looking forward to getting home from work so you can finally catch up with your sister – only to realize it’s 3a.m where she is, and there’s no way she is awake. Eventually you get used to Skyping at the weirdest times.

2. Having To Reassure Your Parents That Your Sister Is Fine And Healthy – Every Day

Your worried parents hassle you every day to find out how your sister is doing – which is pretty annoying, because you’re not always 100% sure of the answer.

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3. Feeling Weirdly Grown Up When You Tell Her About Your Life

Once upon a time, all you and your sister talked about was toys and new games. So sometimes it feels weird when you tell her about the promotion you want, and the yoga class you just started. When did you two become adults?!

4. Planning A Skype Chat That Is Ruined By Slow Internet

You had the Skype catch up session planned for five days, but you didn’t plan for your internet to be too slow to even sign in to Skype. Maybe tomorrow night?

5. Having To Stalk Her On Social Media To Know What Is Going On In Her Life

You haven’t managed to get through to your sister for a week, and so you’ve spent the last 20 minutes scrolling through her Facebook, looking for new pictures and status up-dates. You just want to make sure she’s okay – and to see what her new friends look like.

6. Feeling Weird About Visiting Your Parents And Your Sister Not Being There

Every time you go home, you feel a little sad that your sister isn’t right beside you. It just isn’t the same without her.

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7. Trying To Talk But Having No Signal

You’re finally both free at the same time! But just as the phone call starts getting interesting, your phone cuts out. And so begins half an hour of re-dialling, missing each other’s calls and getting cut off again. How will you find out what happened when she went out last night?!

8. Using Skype To Remind Each Other What You Look Like

It’s been a long time since you actually saw each other face to face – so you feel a little teary eyed when you finally see her smiling back at you.

9. Trying To Avoid Mentioning All Of The Crazy Stories Your Sister Told You To Your Parents

After a long catch-up, your parents want to know everything you and your sister spoke about, but you wisely decide to leave out the story about her getting drunk and throwing up in a taxi. In fact, you only feel comfortable repeating about quarter of the conversation to your parents.

10. Unplanned Skyping At Four In The Morning Because You’re Finally Online At The Same Time

Yes, you were totally asleep, but you can finally discuss the season finale of your favorite show with your sister!

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11. Being Confused By The New Words And Phrases She Uses

She has picked up all of the cool words and phrases where she lives; unfortunately, you’ve only visited her twice and you have no idea what she means.

12. Sending Essay Emails Because You Don’t Want To Miss Out Anything

The email may be as long as a short novel, but you need to tell your sister about absolutely everything, from the meals you’ve eaten to updating her on your work drama.

13. Worrying About If She Is Making Friends

You know she’s the nicest, funniest person you know – but what will other people think? You spend hours worrying about if she has made friends – only for her to end a call shortly so she can go for a night out with her new crew. You feel relief and jealousy that you are staying in tonight.

14. Passionately Hating People Who Are Mean To Your Sister

She told you over two months ago that one of her bosses turned down a good idea she had, and he is still at the top of your enemy list today.

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15. Feeling Jealous Of Her Flatmate

They get to see your sister every day, they can spend their evenings cooking food and watching TV shows – you’re not sure when you last felt this jealous.

16. Noticing She Took Some Of Your Clothes With Her

Last time you Skyped, you noticed your favorite dress in the background, and you went crazy. Now that she lives so far away, it’s basically hers by default.

17. Finding Your Parents Twice As Annoying Now Your Sister Isn’t Here

You didn’t realize it at the time, but your sister helped dilute your parents. Now, it’s just you in the firing line.

18. Wanting To See Each Other But Not Being Able To Afford It

If you could, you would visit every single weekend for a few drinks and a catch up, but your bank balance won’t allow it. For now, you message each other every day and patiently wait until pay day.

19. Reminiscing On The Times You Shared A Home

All of the inside jokes, games and fights – you both love to discuss all of the great memories you have together, while wishing you could still see each other every day.

20. Realizing Nothing Has Changed Besides The Distance

She may live far away, but nothing has changed for either of you. You both can’t wait to get on the phone for a catch up, and she still knows you always have her back, even if you can’t always be with her.

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Amy Johnson

Freelance writer, editor and social media manager.

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Last Updated on January 15, 2019

How to Talk to Strangers Without Feeling Awkward

How to Talk to Strangers Without Feeling Awkward

Many of us feel awkward talking to strangers. I’m a very outgoing person, even though I sometimes feel uncomfortable walking up to someone and asking a question or starting a conversation. I consider myself pretty high up on the extrovert meter. So what is it that makes us pause and become worried or anxious about talking to people we don’t know?

In this article, we will discuss why we feel this way as well as some tips on how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward.

Step right up, don’t be shy!

Why We Feel Awkward Talking to Strangers

The next time you feel uncomfortable talking to a stranger, tell yourself that’s completely normal. There are numerous reasons why it’s actually natural to feel awkward talking to strangers:

Our Stress Levels Rise Around Strangers

Numerous studies have show that our levels of cortisol go up when we are around strangers.[1] Cortisol is the hormone inside of us which produces stress responses.[2]
So there you go, right off the bat you can see part of your standard response to strangers is due to a chemical reaction!

A very interesting by product of increased cortisol is that it makes us less empathetic. More than likely this can be traced to our evolution. The increase in the cortisol and the corresponding decrease in empathy makes us want to stay away from strangers. We are biologically wired to feel concern around strangers.

Evolution Taught Us to Be Wary

Evolution has also taught us to be wary of strangers in general. Humans as a whole have spent a large chunk of their history banded together in small protective groups. We did this in order to help protect each other and maximize resources.

When you think about it in this context, outsiders to our small groups or strangers are considered potential threats. Fear of strangers is common across almost all human cultures.

Culturally Conditioned

We can also thank our society for helping us feel uncomfortable and sometimes afraid of strangers. The term “stranger danger” is something most of us can relate to either growing up or raising kids. Or both.

I remember hearing this from my parents, mostly about not getting in someone’s car I didn’t know. And as the father of 2 teenage girls, you can be sure I’ve talked to them about this very concept more times that they want to hear.

The thought that strangers can be dangerous is built into us as it is. Toss in the amplification of the media on strangers doing things such as kidnapping kids and it takes it to an even higher level.

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Now that we’ve reviewed some of the reasons why we are nervous, let’s look at why you should talk to strangers more.

Benefits of Getting over the Awkwardness

Let’s take a quick look at some of the advantages of how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward. These are some high level benefits of talking to strangers.

1. Broadens Your Network

After you talk to someone, you didn’t know previously they become someone you know at least a little bit. This alone helps broaden your network of people you know. This is helpful in many ways whether it is work related or socially related.

2. Improves Your Communication Skills

I am a huge proponent of the value of solid communication skills and have written about it often. The more you talk to people, especially people you don’t know, the better your communication skills become.

Interacting with a wider variety of people will bring the added benefit of improving your communication skills.

3. Continually Learning

So many of us don’t actively seek to learn new things. This is one of the primary keys to staying engaged in life and our own personal self fulfillment.

Almost every time I speak to someone I didn’t know previously, I’ve learned something new. When we speak to strangers, it pushes us out of our comfort zones and we tend to learn new things.

4. Increases Self Confidence

Every time we learn to do something we were previously anxious about, we feel better about ourselves.

Forcing ourselves to talk to strangers will lead to increased self confidence. As we get more and more comfortable doing something that previously made us feel awkward, our self confidence will go up and up.

So, how to talk to strangers to reap these benefits?

How to Talk to Strangers

Here are some tips to on how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward.

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1. Say Hello

Putting “say hello” first may seem a bit obvious but let’s take a deeper look. Much of the social awkwardness when speaking to strangers is simply breaking the ice. The first words that will engage someone.

Most people will respond when someone says hello or hi to them. And those that don’t, you probably don’t want to talk to anyway.

Practice being the person that opens the door to a conversation. Say hello.

2. Ask About Them

Something that I have noticed over the years is that people love to talk about themselves. Even fairly private people tend to open up when asked about events in their lives.

You can ask leading questions that get people to talk about themselves and recent events. Things like recent movies watched or the summer vacation are great to get someone talking.

As a father, I also know that people love to talk about their kids. Asking about kids is a fairly easy topic to bring up and in general, most people will expound upon all the great things their kids do or are involved with.

3. Just Do It

One of the biggest reasons we don’t do things we want to or know we should is because we overthink it. Quit thinking about it so much and just do it.

When you give yourself the time to analyze every little angle about a situation, you also give plenty of time to talk yourself out of it. You’ll wind up thinking what if this happens or what if that happens.

Try to force yourself to jump right in without thinking about it too much. Whenever I have done this, I always feel great about it afterwards, no matter how it turned out.

4. Don’t Take It Personal

One of the greatest lessons in life I ever learned was don’t take anything personally. We all go through life with our own sets of experiences and see things through our own lens. The way people react to different situations has almost nothing to do with us. It has to do with previous experiences and the way people feel about things other than us.

When someone’s reaction isn’t what you’d hoped or expected, chances are it has nothing to do with you. Remember that and keep it in context.

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5. Get a Chuckle If Possible

I used the word chuckle purposely because it makes me laugh. In my opinion, it’s one of those funny words. We all like to laugh because it makes us feel good. And when someone makes us laugh, we typically remember those people in a positive light.

One of the best ways to make a conversation easy and free flowing is to get some laughter going. It doesn’t mean you have to be the master joke teller or anything. See if you can work in a way to make the person you are talking to get a smile or some laughter in. In fact, laughing at yourself maybe a nice try.

6. Detach

A great feeling is when you don’t mind which way something turns out, that you will be fine no matter what happens. Kind of like when I watch my two favorite football teams play against each other. I don’t really care who wins, I just want a fun game.

Treat talking to strangers the same way. You don’t really care how the conversation goes because you are detaching from the outcome. Make it a fun time with yourself and if the conversation goes well, awesome! If not then no big deal, move on.

7. Share Your Stories

Well, all like to feel connected to other people. And many times we wind up hanging out with people that we have things in common with. No surprise here.

To help with how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward, tell stories that have commonalities with the person you are talking to. Kids are an easy one. I have a daughter who was a competitive cheerleader and now plays club volleyball. I have instant connection and stories with strangers I speak with who have kids that play sports. It’s easy to relate to.

So when you are speaking to a stranger and you have a story or mutual connection point, bring it up.

8. Give a Compliment

Almost everyone likes hearing a compliment, whether they admit to it or not. As a general rule, we don’t give out enough compliments. It’s amazing how one small remark someone tosses your way about how good you look can literally make your entire day.

When you are speaking with someone you don’t know, see if you can work a compliment in. Nothing creepy here. Not a good idea to tell someone you just met that they are the prettiest or handsomest person you ever met. However, if you can share how you like their tattoo or shoes or something like that, it will help put the conversation into an easy going, smiling place.

9. Relax Your Body Language

If you go into a situation all worried and nervous, it shows on your body. Your shoulders are tensed up, there’s a look of consternation on your face, things like that.

When you engage a stranger in conversation, make it a point to relax your body language. Take a deep breath before you engage the person, let your body relax, and put a smile on your face. This will help relax you and it has the added benefit of putting the other person more at ease.

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If they see that you are relaxed, it helps them relax. Plus having open, engaging body language is very conducive to inviting someone to open up into a conversation with you.

10. Practice, Practice, Practice

Like everything else in life, talking to strangers gets easier with practice. The more you do it, the easier it becomes.

Make it a point to talk to several strangers each week and it will definitely help you relax as you do it more and more.

After a while, it will become something you don’t even think about, you just do it. And that takes all of the awkwardness out of being in these type situations.

The Bottom Line

As we have seen, it is perfectly natural to feel awkward talking to strangers. We are biologically built that way and we have our own society constantly warning us how dangerous it is. It’s no wonder we feel awkward talking to strangers!

There are numerous benefits to learning to be more comfortable talking to strangers. See if you can employ some of the techniques mentioned to learn how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward.

Once you start practicing speaking with strangers more often and utilizing some of the tips, you will become more comfortable doing so. This in turn will lead to a learned new skill and increased self confidence.

Remember, everyone you know was a stranger at one time. Now get out there and make some new friends.

More Resources About Strengthening Communication Skills

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

Reference

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