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20 Quotes That May Make You Less Angry

20 Quotes That May Make You Less Angry

Many of us try to live a life of tranquility, but that doesn’t mean we never get angry. Sometimes we can’t help it. We let loose and let all the fury out. Read through these quotes to learn how to become less angry and, when you can’t avoid it, how to make the most of these emotions and to make sure they don’t take control!

1. Great things can come out of anger

“I can be most colorful and inventive.” – Christopher Moore

Moore is probably talking about his language, but anger can make you see things you would have never considered before. Feeling emotional can bring out ideas you would have never had if you were always happy.

2. You have a choice

“You can get angry, you can get even, or you can get ahead.” – Jeffrey Fry

We all have a choice in this world and sometimes you have to let your feelings go in order to advance.

3. Love beats anger

“There is no time to be angry, always be busy with love.” – Debasish Mridha

We only get one shot to live on this earth, and we should always try to busy ourselves with love. When you’re 70 years old and reflecting on your life, you’re going to remember the people you loved, not those you hated. Make more memories for your future self!

4. Finger-pointing doesn’t solve much

“Your smile can heal thousands; but your anger can kill millions. Your ‘hand-shake’ can encourage tens of people while your ‘finger-pointing’ can turn ten thousands away from you!” – Israelmore Ayivor

Anger can be good for the soul, because if we didn’t have challenges we would never change. But how you direct that anger is the important part. You can spread it positively with actions or negatively. And after all, negativity is harder to clean up.

5. Anger can be blinding

“An angry man rarely stops to let facts get in the way of his fury.” – Nikki Sex

Our anger can usually be resolved when we sit down and re-evaluate the reasons we’re angry. Often our fury blurs our vision and we forget why we were angry but we’re too stubborn to go back and check. Remember to look back at what made you angry and check if all the facts add up.

6. You only live once

“Life is so short. The only person you hurt when you stay angry or hold grudges is you. Forgive everyone, including yourself.” – Tom Giaquinto

Forgiving yourself is one of the most important things that we can do to preserve our mental health. It’s important to give yourself a break and remember that we all make mistakes.

7. Be careful with your words

“It is when you are angry that you must watch how you talk.” – Chaim Potok

Although we may not mean the things we say when we’re angry, it is the negative words that are hardest to take back so be wary of what you say when you’re hit by a surge of anger. Sometimes taking time to vent to someone outside the situation can be most effective and prevent you from hurting anyone.

8. Anger is like coal

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” – Buddha

Anger doesn’t ever hurt anyone as much as it hurts yourself. Plus Buddha said this one, so… you can’t really argue with that.

9. Apologize

“You have right to be angry, insult and slap. But later you have to forgive.” – M.F. Moonzajer

We all hurt each other in this life, even the ones we love the most. But remember that apologizing to those you hurt and forgiving those who have hurt you is better than losing your loved ones.

10. Revenge is an invitation to your own demise

“While seeking revenge, dig two graves – one for yourself.” – Douglas Horton

They say revenge is sweet, but really whilst you’re busy seeking revenge on others you are simply wasting time and destroying yourself in the process. Use that time for something that benefits your own life rather than just hurting someone else’s.

11. Love yourself more than you hate someone else

“I shall allow no man to belittle my soul by making me hate him.” – Booker T. Washington

You are a person worthy of respect and consideration. Never allow someone who doesn’t deserve you to hurt you.

12. Resolve your conflicts

“Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight!” – Phyllis Diller

Most old couples say this is the key to a successful and long marriage. Take this advice and you will never lose your sweetheart. Sometimes a tough discussion is all you need to resolve misunderstandings.

13. Only swear when very angry

“When angry count to four. When very angry, swear.” – Mark Twain

It’s important to try and contain your anger, but that doesn’t mean we can’t indulge ourselves with a curse word every now and then.

14. Direct your anger and make something beautiful

“Poetry = Anger X Imagination.” – Sherman Alexie

Turn your anger into productivity and create beautiful and amazing things. Some of the greatest art and social movements in the world have been the result of anger. Hone yours into something actionable rather than letting it stew.

15. Understand your anger

“If you try to get rid of fear and anger without knowing their meaning, they will grow stronger and return.” – Deepak Chopra

You can’t get rid of bad feelings until you know where they come from, so explore your anger and figure out its cause so you can solve the problem and let it go.

16. Don’t drink your own poison

“Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” – Buddha

Think about all that pain and energy you go through when you’re angry. Whoever or whatever you’re mad at doesn’t feel it at all. Remember you’re only hurting yourself and try to let the rage go.

17. If you can change it, do

“There are two things a person should never be angry at; what they can help, and what they cannot.” – Plato

In theory this one means you should never be angry because if you can change a situation then you should. If you have no control, it shouldn’t worry you.

18. Truth always prospers

“Anger at lies lasts forever. Anger at truth can’t last.” – Greg Evans

We hold on to lies and stay angry at them. Remember that you can’t change the truth so embrace it and accept that.

19. Feel angry but control it

“Anger is a valid emotion. It’s only bad when it takes control and makes you do things you don’t want to do.” – Ellen Hopkins

Emotions shouldn’t ever control your actions. Remember that cooler heads prevail.

20. Move past it

“Get mad, then get over it.” – Colin Powell

Do it.

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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