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20 Quotes That May Make You Less Angry

20 Quotes That May Make You Less Angry

Many of us try to live a life of tranquility, but that doesn’t mean we never get angry. Sometimes we can’t help it. We let loose and let all the fury out. Read through these quotes to learn how to become less angry and, when you can’t avoid it, how to make the most of these emotions and to make sure they don’t take control!

1. Great things can come out of anger

“I can be most colorful and inventive.” – Christopher Moore

Moore is probably talking about his language, but anger can make you see things you would have never considered before. Feeling emotional can bring out ideas you would have never had if you were always happy.

2. You have a choice

“You can get angry, you can get even, or you can get ahead.” – Jeffrey Fry

We all have a choice in this world and sometimes you have to let your feelings go in order to advance.

3. Love beats anger

“There is no time to be angry, always be busy with love.” – Debasish Mridha

We only get one shot to live on this earth, and we should always try to busy ourselves with love. When you’re 70 years old and reflecting on your life, you’re going to remember the people you loved, not those you hated. Make more memories for your future self!

4. Finger-pointing doesn’t solve much

“Your smile can heal thousands; but your anger can kill millions. Your ‘hand-shake’ can encourage tens of people while your ‘finger-pointing’ can turn ten thousands away from you!” – Israelmore Ayivor

Anger can be good for the soul, because if we didn’t have challenges we would never change. But how you direct that anger is the important part. You can spread it positively with actions or negatively. And after all, negativity is harder to clean up.

5. Anger can be blinding

“An angry man rarely stops to let facts get in the way of his fury.” – Nikki Sex

Our anger can usually be resolved when we sit down and re-evaluate the reasons we’re angry. Often our fury blurs our vision and we forget why we were angry but we’re too stubborn to go back and check. Remember to look back at what made you angry and check if all the facts add up.

6. You only live once

“Life is so short. The only person you hurt when you stay angry or hold grudges is you. Forgive everyone, including yourself.” – Tom Giaquinto

Forgiving yourself is one of the most important things that we can do to preserve our mental health. It’s important to give yourself a break and remember that we all make mistakes.

7. Be careful with your words

“It is when you are angry that you must watch how you talk.” – Chaim Potok

Although we may not mean the things we say when we’re angry, it is the negative words that are hardest to take back so be wary of what you say when you’re hit by a surge of anger. Sometimes taking time to vent to someone outside the situation can be most effective and prevent you from hurting anyone.

8. Anger is like coal

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” – Buddha

Anger doesn’t ever hurt anyone as much as it hurts yourself. Plus Buddha said this one, so… you can’t really argue with that.

9. Apologize

“You have right to be angry, insult and slap. But later you have to forgive.” – M.F. Moonzajer

We all hurt each other in this life, even the ones we love the most. But remember that apologizing to those you hurt and forgiving those who have hurt you is better than losing your loved ones.

10. Revenge is an invitation to your own demise

“While seeking revenge, dig two graves – one for yourself.” – Douglas Horton

They say revenge is sweet, but really whilst you’re busy seeking revenge on others you are simply wasting time and destroying yourself in the process. Use that time for something that benefits your own life rather than just hurting someone else’s.

11. Love yourself more than you hate someone else

“I shall allow no man to belittle my soul by making me hate him.” – Booker T. Washington

You are a person worthy of respect and consideration. Never allow someone who doesn’t deserve you to hurt you.

12. Resolve your conflicts

“Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight!” – Phyllis Diller

Most old couples say this is the key to a successful and long marriage. Take this advice and you will never lose your sweetheart. Sometimes a tough discussion is all you need to resolve misunderstandings.

13. Only swear when very angry

“When angry count to four. When very angry, swear.” – Mark Twain

It’s important to try and contain your anger, but that doesn’t mean we can’t indulge ourselves with a curse word every now and then.

14. Direct your anger and make something beautiful

“Poetry = Anger X Imagination.” – Sherman Alexie

Turn your anger into productivity and create beautiful and amazing things. Some of the greatest art and social movements in the world have been the result of anger. Hone yours into something actionable rather than letting it stew.

15. Understand your anger

“If you try to get rid of fear and anger without knowing their meaning, they will grow stronger and return.” – Deepak Chopra

You can’t get rid of bad feelings until you know where they come from, so explore your anger and figure out its cause so you can solve the problem and let it go.

16. Don’t drink your own poison

“Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” – Buddha

Think about all that pain and energy you go through when you’re angry. Whoever or whatever you’re mad at doesn’t feel it at all. Remember you’re only hurting yourself and try to let the rage go.

17. If you can change it, do

“There are two things a person should never be angry at; what they can help, and what they cannot.” – Plato

In theory this one means you should never be angry because if you can change a situation then you should. If you have no control, it shouldn’t worry you.

18. Truth always prospers

“Anger at lies lasts forever. Anger at truth can’t last.” – Greg Evans

We hold on to lies and stay angry at them. Remember that you can’t change the truth so embrace it and accept that.

19. Feel angry but control it

“Anger is a valid emotion. It’s only bad when it takes control and makes you do things you don’t want to do.” – Ellen Hopkins

Emotions shouldn’t ever control your actions. Remember that cooler heads prevail.

20. Move past it

“Get mad, then get over it.” – Colin Powell

Do it.

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Published on September 23, 2020

6 Effective Negotiation Skills to Master

6 Effective Negotiation Skills to Master

I don’t know about you, but many times when I hear the word negotiate I think of lawyers working out a business deal or having to do battle with a car salesman to try to get a lower price. Since I am in recruiting, the term “negotiation” comes up when someone is attempting to get a higher compensation package.

If we think about it, we tend to negotiate almost every day in a wide variety of things we do. Getting a handle on the important negotiation skills can be incredibly beneficial in many parts of our lives. Let’s take a look at 6 effective negotiation skills to master.

What is Negotiation?

First, let’s take a look at what negotiation is. Put simply, negotiation is a method by which people settle their differences. It is a process in which compromise or agreement can be reached without argument or dispute.

Anytime two people or sides disagree on something, they are almost always looking for the best possible outcome for their side. This could be from an individual’s perspective or someone representing an organization.

In reality, it’s rare that one side gets everything they want and the other side gets nothing that they are seeking. Seeking to reach a common ground of sorts where both sides feel like they are getting most of what they want is the key to being successful and maintaining the relationship.

Places We Negotiate

I’ve mentioned that we negotiate in just about all phases of our life. For those of you who are shaking your head no, I invite you to think about the following:

1. Work/Business

This one is the most obvious and it’s what naturally comes to mind when we think of the word “negotiate”.

When you first started at your current job, you might have asked for a higher salary. It could be that you delivered a huge new client to your company and used this as leverage in your most recent evaluation for more compensation. If you work with vendors (and just about every company does), maybe you worked them to a lower price or better contract terms.

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In recruiting, I negotiate with candidates and hiring managers all the time to land the best talent I can find. It’s very common to accept additional work with the (sometimes spoken, sometimes unspoken) agreement that it will benefit your career in the future.

Recently, I took over a project that was my boss was working on so that I would be able to attend a conference later in the year. And so it goes, we do this all day long at work.

2. Personal

I don’t know about you, but I negotiate with my spouse all the time. I’ll cook dinner with the understanding that she does the dishes. Who wants to mow the lawn and who wants to vacuum and dust the house?

I think we should save 10% for retirement, but she thinks 5% is plenty. Therefore, we save 8%. And don’t even get me started with my kids. My older daughter can borrow my car as soon as she finishes her chores. My younger daughter can go hang out with her friends when her homework is done.

Then, there are all those interactions in our personal lives outside our homes. The carpenter wants to charge me $12,000 to build a new deck. I think $10,000 is plenty so we agree on $11,000. I ask my neighbor if I can borrow his snowblower in the winter if I invite him over the next time I grill steak. And so on.

3. Ourselves

You didn’t expect this one, did you? We negotiate with ourselves all day long.

I’ll make sure I don’t skip my workout tomorrow since I’m going to have that extra piece of pizza. My spouse has been quiet the last few days, is it worth me asking her about, or should I leave it alone? I think the car place charged me for some repairs that weren’t needed, should I say something or just let it go? I know my friend has been having some personal challenges, should I check in with him? We’ve been friends for a long time, I’m sure he’d come to me if he needed help. I’ve got the #4 pick in this year’s Fantasy Football draft, should I choose a running back or a wide receiver?

Think about that non-stop voice inside your head. It always seems to be chattering away about something and many times, it’s us negotiating with ourselves. I’ll finish up that report that the boss needs before I turn on the football game.

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Why Negotiation Skills Are So Important

Put simply, negotiation skills are important because we all interact with other people, and not only other people but other organizations and groups of people as well.

We all rarely want the same thing or outcome. Most of the time a vendor is looking at getting you to pay a higher price for something than you want to spend. Therefore, it’s important to negotiate to some middle ground that works well for both sides.

My wife and I disagree on how much to save for retirement. If we weren’t married it wouldn’t be an issue. We’d each contribute how much we wanted to on our retirement funds. We choose to be married, so we have to come to some agreement that we both feel comfortable with. We have to compromise. Therefore, we have to negotiate.

If we each lived on a planet by ourselves, we would be free to do just about anything we wanted to. We wouldn’t have to compromise with anyone because we wouldn’t interact with anyone. We would make every choice unilaterally the way we wanted to.

As we all know, this isn’t how things are. We are constantly interacting with other people and organizations, each one with their own agenda’s, viewpoints, and opinions. Therefore, we have to be able to work together.

6 Negotiation Skills to Master

Having strong negotiation skills helps us create win-win situations with others, allowing us to get most of what we want in conjunction with others around us.

Now, let’s look at 6 effective negotiation skills to master.

1. Preparation

Preparation is a key place to start with when getting ready to negotiate. Being prepared means having a clear vision of what you want and how you’d go about achieving it. It means knowing what the end goal looks like and also what you are willing to give to get it.

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It also means knowing who you are negotiating with and what areas they might be willing to compromise on. You should also know what your “bottom line” is. By “bottom line” I mean what is the most you are willing to give up to get what you want.

For instance, several years ago, I decided it was time to get a newer car. I say newer because I wanted a “new to me” car, not a brand new car. I did my research and figured out what type of car I wanted. I decided on what must-have items on the car I wanted, the highest amount of miles that would already be on it, the colors I was willing to get it in, and the highest amount of money I was willing to pay.

After visiting numerous car dealerships I was able to negotiate buying a car. I knew what I was willing to give up (amount of money) and what I was willing to accept, things like the color, amount of miles, etc. I came prepared. This is critical.

2. Clear Communication

The next key skill you need to be an effective negotiator is clear communication. You have to be able to clearly articulate what you want to the other party. This means both clear verbal and written communication.

If you can’t clearly tell the other person what you want, how do you expect to get it? Have you ever worked through something with a vendor or someone else only to learn of a surprise right at the end that wasn’t talked about before? This is not what you would call clear communication. It’s essential to be able to share a coherent and logical vision with the person you are working with.

3. Active Listening

Let’s do a quick review of active listening. This is when you are completely focused on the speaker, understand their message, comprehend the information, and respond appropriately. This is a necessary ingredient to be able to negotiate successfully. You must be able to fully focus on the other person’s wants to completely understand them.

If you aren’t giving them your full attention, you may miss some major points or details. This leads to frustration down the road on both sides. Ensure you are employing your active listening skills when in arbitration mode.

4. Teamwork and Collaboration

To be able to get to a place of common ground and a win-win scenario, you have to have a sense of teamwork and collaboration.

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If you are only thinking about yourself and what you want without giving much care to what the other person is wanting, you are bound to wind up without a solution. The other person may get frustrated and give up if they see you are unwilling to meet them halfway or care little for what they want.

When you collaborate, you are working together to help each other get what is most important to you. The other upside to negotiating with a sense of teamwork and collaboration is that it helps create a sense of trust, which, in turn, helps provide positive energy for working to a successful conclusion.

5. Problem Solving

Problem-solving is another key negotiation skill. When you are working with the other person to get the deal done many times you’ll face new challenges along the way.

Maybe you want a new vendor to provide training on the software they are selling you but they say it’s going to cost an additional $20,000 to provide this service. If you don’t have the additional $20,000 in the budget to spend on the software but you feel the training is critical, how are you going to solve that problem?

From what I’ve seen, most vendors aren’t willing to provide additional services without getting paid for them. This is where problem-solving skills will help continue the discussions. You might suggest to the vendor that your company will also be looking to replace their financial software next year, and you’d be happy to ensure they get one of the first seats at the table when the time comes if they could perhaps lower the pricing on their training.

There’s a solution to most challenges, but it takes problem-solving skills to work through them effectively.

6. Decision-Making Ability

Finally, having strong decision-making ability will help you seal the deal when you get to a place where everyone feels like they are getting what works for them. Each step of the way you can cross off the list when you get what you are looking for and decide to move onto the next item. Then, once you have all of your must-have boxes checked and the other side feels good about things, it’s time to shake hands and sign on the dotted line. Powerful decision-making ability will help you get to the finish line together.

Conclusion

There you have it, 6 effective negotiation skills to master to lead a more fulfilling life. Once we realize that we negotiate in one form or another almost every day in every phase of our lives, we realize how critical a skill it is.

Possessing strong negotiation skills will help you in nearly every one of your relationships at both the workplace and in your personal life. If you feel your arbitration tools could use some sharpening, try some of the 6 effective negotiation skills to master that we’ve talked about.

More Tips to Improve Your Negotiation Skills

Featured photo credit: Windows via unsplash.com

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