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20 Quotes That May Make You Less Angry

20 Quotes That May Make You Less Angry

Many of us try to live a life of tranquility, but that doesn’t mean we never get angry. Sometimes we can’t help it. We let loose and let all the fury out. Read through these quotes to learn how to become less angry and, when you can’t avoid it, how to make the most of these emotions and to make sure they don’t take control!

1. Great things can come out of anger

“I can be most colorful and inventive.” – Christopher Moore

Moore is probably talking about his language, but anger can make you see things you would have never considered before. Feeling emotional can bring out ideas you would have never had if you were always happy.

2. You have a choice

“You can get angry, you can get even, or you can get ahead.” – Jeffrey Fry

We all have a choice in this world and sometimes you have to let your feelings go in order to advance.

3. Love beats anger

“There is no time to be angry, always be busy with love.” – Debasish Mridha

We only get one shot to live on this earth, and we should always try to busy ourselves with love. When you’re 70 years old and reflecting on your life, you’re going to remember the people you loved, not those you hated. Make more memories for your future self!

4. Finger-pointing doesn’t solve much

“Your smile can heal thousands; but your anger can kill millions. Your ‘hand-shake’ can encourage tens of people while your ‘finger-pointing’ can turn ten thousands away from you!” – Israelmore Ayivor

Anger can be good for the soul, because if we didn’t have challenges we would never change. But how you direct that anger is the important part. You can spread it positively with actions or negatively. And after all, negativity is harder to clean up.

5. Anger can be blinding

“An angry man rarely stops to let facts get in the way of his fury.” – Nikki Sex

Our anger can usually be resolved when we sit down and re-evaluate the reasons we’re angry. Often our fury blurs our vision and we forget why we were angry but we’re too stubborn to go back and check. Remember to look back at what made you angry and check if all the facts add up.

6. You only live once

“Life is so short. The only person you hurt when you stay angry or hold grudges is you. Forgive everyone, including yourself.” – Tom Giaquinto

Forgiving yourself is one of the most important things that we can do to preserve our mental health. It’s important to give yourself a break and remember that we all make mistakes.

7. Be careful with your words

“It is when you are angry that you must watch how you talk.” – Chaim Potok

Although we may not mean the things we say when we’re angry, it is the negative words that are hardest to take back so be wary of what you say when you’re hit by a surge of anger. Sometimes taking time to vent to someone outside the situation can be most effective and prevent you from hurting anyone.

8. Anger is like coal

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” – Buddha

Anger doesn’t ever hurt anyone as much as it hurts yourself. Plus Buddha said this one, so… you can’t really argue with that.

9. Apologize

“You have right to be angry, insult and slap. But later you have to forgive.” – M.F. Moonzajer

We all hurt each other in this life, even the ones we love the most. But remember that apologizing to those you hurt and forgiving those who have hurt you is better than losing your loved ones.

10. Revenge is an invitation to your own demise

“While seeking revenge, dig two graves – one for yourself.” – Douglas Horton

They say revenge is sweet, but really whilst you’re busy seeking revenge on others you are simply wasting time and destroying yourself in the process. Use that time for something that benefits your own life rather than just hurting someone else’s.

11. Love yourself more than you hate someone else

“I shall allow no man to belittle my soul by making me hate him.” – Booker T. Washington

You are a person worthy of respect and consideration. Never allow someone who doesn’t deserve you to hurt you.

12. Resolve your conflicts

“Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight!” – Phyllis Diller

Most old couples say this is the key to a successful and long marriage. Take this advice and you will never lose your sweetheart. Sometimes a tough discussion is all you need to resolve misunderstandings.

13. Only swear when very angry

“When angry count to four. When very angry, swear.” – Mark Twain

It’s important to try and contain your anger, but that doesn’t mean we can’t indulge ourselves with a curse word every now and then.

14. Direct your anger and make something beautiful

“Poetry = Anger X Imagination.” – Sherman Alexie

Turn your anger into productivity and create beautiful and amazing things. Some of the greatest art and social movements in the world have been the result of anger. Hone yours into something actionable rather than letting it stew.

15. Understand your anger

“If you try to get rid of fear and anger without knowing their meaning, they will grow stronger and return.” – Deepak Chopra

You can’t get rid of bad feelings until you know where they come from, so explore your anger and figure out its cause so you can solve the problem and let it go.

16. Don’t drink your own poison

“Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” – Buddha

Think about all that pain and energy you go through when you’re angry. Whoever or whatever you’re mad at doesn’t feel it at all. Remember you’re only hurting yourself and try to let the rage go.

17. If you can change it, do

“There are two things a person should never be angry at; what they can help, and what they cannot.” – Plato

In theory this one means you should never be angry because if you can change a situation then you should. If you have no control, it shouldn’t worry you.

18. Truth always prospers

“Anger at lies lasts forever. Anger at truth can’t last.” – Greg Evans

We hold on to lies and stay angry at them. Remember that you can’t change the truth so embrace it and accept that.

19. Feel angry but control it

“Anger is a valid emotion. It’s only bad when it takes control and makes you do things you don’t want to do.” – Ellen Hopkins

Emotions shouldn’t ever control your actions. Remember that cooler heads prevail.

20. Move past it

“Get mad, then get over it.” – Colin Powell

Do it.

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Last Updated on January 15, 2019

How to Talk to Strangers Without Feeling Awkward

How to Talk to Strangers Without Feeling Awkward

Many of us feel awkward talking to strangers. I’m a very outgoing person, even though I sometimes feel uncomfortable walking up to someone and asking a question or starting a conversation. I consider myself pretty high up on the extrovert meter. So what is it that makes us pause and become worried or anxious about talking to people we don’t know?

In this article, we will discuss why we feel this way as well as some tips on how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward.

Step right up, don’t be shy!

Why We Feel Awkward Talking to Strangers

The next time you feel uncomfortable talking to a stranger, tell yourself that’s completely normal. There are numerous reasons why it’s actually natural to feel awkward talking to strangers:

Our Stress Levels Rise Around Strangers

Numerous studies have show that our levels of cortisol go up when we are around strangers.[1] Cortisol is the hormone inside of us which produces stress responses.[2]
So there you go, right off the bat you can see part of your standard response to strangers is due to a chemical reaction!

A very interesting by product of increased cortisol is that it makes us less empathetic. More than likely this can be traced to our evolution. The increase in the cortisol and the corresponding decrease in empathy makes us want to stay away from strangers. We are biologically wired to feel concern around strangers.

Evolution Taught Us to Be Wary

Evolution has also taught us to be wary of strangers in general. Humans as a whole have spent a large chunk of their history banded together in small protective groups. We did this in order to help protect each other and maximize resources.

When you think about it in this context, outsiders to our small groups or strangers are considered potential threats. Fear of strangers is common across almost all human cultures.

Culturally Conditioned

We can also thank our society for helping us feel uncomfortable and sometimes afraid of strangers. The term “stranger danger” is something most of us can relate to either growing up or raising kids. Or both.

I remember hearing this from my parents, mostly about not getting in someone’s car I didn’t know. And as the father of 2 teenage girls, you can be sure I’ve talked to them about this very concept more times that they want to hear.

The thought that strangers can be dangerous is built into us as it is. Toss in the amplification of the media on strangers doing things such as kidnapping kids and it takes it to an even higher level.

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Now that we’ve reviewed some of the reasons why we are nervous, let’s look at why you should talk to strangers more.

Benefits of Getting over the Awkwardness

Let’s take a quick look at some of the advantages of how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward. These are some high level benefits of talking to strangers.

1. Broadens Your Network

After you talk to someone, you didn’t know previously they become someone you know at least a little bit. This alone helps broaden your network of people you know. This is helpful in many ways whether it is work related or socially related.

2. Improves Your Communication Skills

I am a huge proponent of the value of solid communication skills and have written about it often. The more you talk to people, especially people you don’t know, the better your communication skills become.

Interacting with a wider variety of people will bring the added benefit of improving your communication skills.

3. Continually Learning

So many of us don’t actively seek to learn new things. This is one of the primary keys to staying engaged in life and our own personal self fulfillment.

Almost every time I speak to someone I didn’t know previously, I’ve learned something new. When we speak to strangers, it pushes us out of our comfort zones and we tend to learn new things.

4. Increases Self Confidence

Every time we learn to do something we were previously anxious about, we feel better about ourselves.

Forcing ourselves to talk to strangers will lead to increased self confidence. As we get more and more comfortable doing something that previously made us feel awkward, our self confidence will go up and up.

So, how to talk to strangers to reap these benefits?

How to Talk to Strangers

Here are some tips to on how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward.

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1. Say Hello

Putting “say hello” first may seem a bit obvious but let’s take a deeper look. Much of the social awkwardness when speaking to strangers is simply breaking the ice. The first words that will engage someone.

Most people will respond when someone says hello or hi to them. And those that don’t, you probably don’t want to talk to anyway.

Practice being the person that opens the door to a conversation. Say hello.

2. Ask About Them

Something that I have noticed over the years is that people love to talk about themselves. Even fairly private people tend to open up when asked about events in their lives.

You can ask leading questions that get people to talk about themselves and recent events. Things like recent movies watched or the summer vacation are great to get someone talking.

As a father, I also know that people love to talk about their kids. Asking about kids is a fairly easy topic to bring up and in general, most people will expound upon all the great things their kids do or are involved with.

3. Just Do It

One of the biggest reasons we don’t do things we want to or know we should is because we overthink it. Quit thinking about it so much and just do it.

When you give yourself the time to analyze every little angle about a situation, you also give plenty of time to talk yourself out of it. You’ll wind up thinking what if this happens or what if that happens.

Try to force yourself to jump right in without thinking about it too much. Whenever I have done this, I always feel great about it afterwards, no matter how it turned out.

4. Don’t Take It Personal

One of the greatest lessons in life I ever learned was don’t take anything personally. We all go through life with our own sets of experiences and see things through our own lens. The way people react to different situations has almost nothing to do with us. It has to do with previous experiences and the way people feel about things other than us.

When someone’s reaction isn’t what you’d hoped or expected, chances are it has nothing to do with you. Remember that and keep it in context.

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5. Get a Chuckle If Possible

I used the word chuckle purposely because it makes me laugh. In my opinion, it’s one of those funny words. We all like to laugh because it makes us feel good. And when someone makes us laugh, we typically remember those people in a positive light.

One of the best ways to make a conversation easy and free flowing is to get some laughter going. It doesn’t mean you have to be the master joke teller or anything. See if you can work in a way to make the person you are talking to get a smile or some laughter in. In fact, laughing at yourself maybe a nice try.

6. Detach

A great feeling is when you don’t mind which way something turns out, that you will be fine no matter what happens. Kind of like when I watch my two favorite football teams play against each other. I don’t really care who wins, I just want a fun game.

Treat talking to strangers the same way. You don’t really care how the conversation goes because you are detaching from the outcome. Make it a fun time with yourself and if the conversation goes well, awesome! If not then no big deal, move on.

7. Share Your Stories

Well, all like to feel connected to other people. And many times we wind up hanging out with people that we have things in common with. No surprise here.

To help with how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward, tell stories that have commonalities with the person you are talking to. Kids are an easy one. I have a daughter who was a competitive cheerleader and now plays club volleyball. I have instant connection and stories with strangers I speak with who have kids that play sports. It’s easy to relate to.

So when you are speaking to a stranger and you have a story or mutual connection point, bring it up.

8. Give a Compliment

Almost everyone likes hearing a compliment, whether they admit to it or not. As a general rule, we don’t give out enough compliments. It’s amazing how one small remark someone tosses your way about how good you look can literally make your entire day.

When you are speaking with someone you don’t know, see if you can work a compliment in. Nothing creepy here. Not a good idea to tell someone you just met that they are the prettiest or handsomest person you ever met. However, if you can share how you like their tattoo or shoes or something like that, it will help put the conversation into an easy going, smiling place.

9. Relax Your Body Language

If you go into a situation all worried and nervous, it shows on your body. Your shoulders are tensed up, there’s a look of consternation on your face, things like that.

When you engage a stranger in conversation, make it a point to relax your body language. Take a deep breath before you engage the person, let your body relax, and put a smile on your face. This will help relax you and it has the added benefit of putting the other person more at ease.

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If they see that you are relaxed, it helps them relax. Plus having open, engaging body language is very conducive to inviting someone to open up into a conversation with you.

10. Practice, Practice, Practice

Like everything else in life, talking to strangers gets easier with practice. The more you do it, the easier it becomes.

Make it a point to talk to several strangers each week and it will definitely help you relax as you do it more and more.

After a while, it will become something you don’t even think about, you just do it. And that takes all of the awkwardness out of being in these type situations.

The Bottom Line

As we have seen, it is perfectly natural to feel awkward talking to strangers. We are biologically built that way and we have our own society constantly warning us how dangerous it is. It’s no wonder we feel awkward talking to strangers!

There are numerous benefits to learning to be more comfortable talking to strangers. See if you can employ some of the techniques mentioned to learn how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward.

Once you start practicing speaking with strangers more often and utilizing some of the tips, you will become more comfortable doing so. This in turn will lead to a learned new skill and increased self confidence.

Remember, everyone you know was a stranger at one time. Now get out there and make some new friends.

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Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

Reference

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