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20 Quotes That May Make You Less Angry

20 Quotes That May Make You Less Angry

Many of us try to live a life of tranquility, but that doesn’t mean we never get angry. Sometimes we can’t help it. We let loose and let all the fury out. Read through these quotes to learn how to become less angry and, when you can’t avoid it, how to make the most of these emotions and to make sure they don’t take control!

1. Great things can come out of anger

“I can be most colorful and inventive.” – Christopher Moore

Moore is probably talking about his language, but anger can make you see things you would have never considered before. Feeling emotional can bring out ideas you would have never had if you were always happy.

2. You have a choice

“You can get angry, you can get even, or you can get ahead.” – Jeffrey Fry

We all have a choice in this world and sometimes you have to let your feelings go in order to advance.

3. Love beats anger

“There is no time to be angry, always be busy with love.” – Debasish Mridha

We only get one shot to live on this earth, and we should always try to busy ourselves with love. When you’re 70 years old and reflecting on your life, you’re going to remember the people you loved, not those you hated. Make more memories for your future self!

4. Finger-pointing doesn’t solve much

“Your smile can heal thousands; but your anger can kill millions. Your ‘hand-shake’ can encourage tens of people while your ‘finger-pointing’ can turn ten thousands away from you!” – Israelmore Ayivor

Anger can be good for the soul, because if we didn’t have challenges we would never change. But how you direct that anger is the important part. You can spread it positively with actions or negatively. And after all, negativity is harder to clean up.

5. Anger can be blinding

“An angry man rarely stops to let facts get in the way of his fury.” – Nikki Sex

Our anger can usually be resolved when we sit down and re-evaluate the reasons we’re angry. Often our fury blurs our vision and we forget why we were angry but we’re too stubborn to go back and check. Remember to look back at what made you angry and check if all the facts add up.

6. You only live once

“Life is so short. The only person you hurt when you stay angry or hold grudges is you. Forgive everyone, including yourself.” – Tom Giaquinto

Forgiving yourself is one of the most important things that we can do to preserve our mental health. It’s important to give yourself a break and remember that we all make mistakes.

7. Be careful with your words

“It is when you are angry that you must watch how you talk.” – Chaim Potok

Although we may not mean the things we say when we’re angry, it is the negative words that are hardest to take back so be wary of what you say when you’re hit by a surge of anger. Sometimes taking time to vent to someone outside the situation can be most effective and prevent you from hurting anyone.

8. Anger is like coal

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” – Buddha

Anger doesn’t ever hurt anyone as much as it hurts yourself. Plus Buddha said this one, so… you can’t really argue with that.

9. Apologize

“You have right to be angry, insult and slap. But later you have to forgive.” – M.F. Moonzajer

We all hurt each other in this life, even the ones we love the most. But remember that apologizing to those you hurt and forgiving those who have hurt you is better than losing your loved ones.

10. Revenge is an invitation to your own demise

“While seeking revenge, dig two graves – one for yourself.” – Douglas Horton

They say revenge is sweet, but really whilst you’re busy seeking revenge on others you are simply wasting time and destroying yourself in the process. Use that time for something that benefits your own life rather than just hurting someone else’s.

11. Love yourself more than you hate someone else

“I shall allow no man to belittle my soul by making me hate him.” – Booker T. Washington

You are a person worthy of respect and consideration. Never allow someone who doesn’t deserve you to hurt you.

12. Resolve your conflicts

“Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight!” – Phyllis Diller

Most old couples say this is the key to a successful and long marriage. Take this advice and you will never lose your sweetheart. Sometimes a tough discussion is all you need to resolve misunderstandings.

13. Only swear when very angry

“When angry count to four. When very angry, swear.” – Mark Twain

It’s important to try and contain your anger, but that doesn’t mean we can’t indulge ourselves with a curse word every now and then.

14. Direct your anger and make something beautiful

“Poetry = Anger X Imagination.” – Sherman Alexie

Turn your anger into productivity and create beautiful and amazing things. Some of the greatest art and social movements in the world have been the result of anger. Hone yours into something actionable rather than letting it stew.

15. Understand your anger

“If you try to get rid of fear and anger without knowing their meaning, they will grow stronger and return.” – Deepak Chopra

You can’t get rid of bad feelings until you know where they come from, so explore your anger and figure out its cause so you can solve the problem and let it go.

16. Don’t drink your own poison

“Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” – Buddha

Think about all that pain and energy you go through when you’re angry. Whoever or whatever you’re mad at doesn’t feel it at all. Remember you’re only hurting yourself and try to let the rage go.

17. If you can change it, do

“There are two things a person should never be angry at; what they can help, and what they cannot.” – Plato

In theory this one means you should never be angry because if you can change a situation then you should. If you have no control, it shouldn’t worry you.

18. Truth always prospers

“Anger at lies lasts forever. Anger at truth can’t last.” – Greg Evans

We hold on to lies and stay angry at them. Remember that you can’t change the truth so embrace it and accept that.

19. Feel angry but control it

“Anger is a valid emotion. It’s only bad when it takes control and makes you do things you don’t want to do.” – Ellen Hopkins

Emotions shouldn’t ever control your actions. Remember that cooler heads prevail.

20. Move past it

“Get mad, then get over it.” – Colin Powell

Do it.

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

Reference

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