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20 Promises You Can Make To Your Dearest Sister

20 Promises You Can Make To Your Dearest Sister

I am the eldest of three girls. My mom is the eldest of six girls. In my family, you learned early on that your sisters are the rock, glue, and sunshine of your life. (And sometimes, the pain in your bum!)

Being the big sister, you feel a certain pressure to be a good example, show your support, and look out for the others’ best interests. But as you inevitably don’t live up to these expectations (at least, not all the time) you realize that you don’t have to be all these things to them – that these things are what you are to each other. Like good sisters, you take turns.

As sisters, you make promises – solemn pinky swears – that you will be there for each other in every way. Here are 20 promises to keep your sisterhood thriving, loving, and full of mischief!

20 Promises for Sisters

1. I promise to be your wing-girl for life. If you need a date to that awkward dinner party or to go watch the movie that no one else wants to see – I’m your gal!

2. I promise not to embarrass you too much. (BTW, you’re not allowed to disown me. Mom said!)

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3. I promise to not disown you. This relationship goes both ways.

4. I promise to pick you up whenever you need a ride. Call me your personal airport shuttle service.

5. I promise to cover for you. No amount of parental pressure will get me to throw you under the bus. (Circle of trust!)

6. I promise to keep all your secrets. Especially the ones that involve both of us.

7. I promise I will be your alibi. (Just keep me in the loop!)

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8. I promise to have your back in any scuffle unless it’s with another sister, then like fractions, I’m canceled out!

9. I promise you can call me any time – day or night. You may have to do the ring–text–ring thing so I know you really want me to answer your call, but confidently know you’re on that short call list of favorites.

10. I promise, if it’s an emergency, I will drop everything to be there for you. You name it, anywhere and anytime! (#RideorDie)

11. I promise to give you a kidney if you need one. Mom would want me to.

12. I promise to babysit your children free of charge while you have date night.

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13. I promise to keep your kids safe.

14. I promise, and God forbid if anything ever happens to you, your children will be loved, supported, and know every wonderful thing you ever did in your spectacular life.

15. I promise to be kind to my brother-in-laws because I know their pain – just kidding!

16. I promise to tell you when your outfit will set off the fashion police, as well as tell you when you look fabulous by saying, “Beyoncé would approve!” (Don’t hate on a sister!)

17. I promise to be your biggest cheerleader. All your accomplishments, big and small are worth celebrating with cake in my book!

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18. I promise, you never have to pretend to be someone you’re not when you are around me. Sister to sister – your uniqueness inspires me.

19. I promise to accept you as you are. Your cray-cray is my kind of cray-cray. I love how we get each other. No one else can read my mind!

20. I promise to love you unconditionally – forever.

Comment below and add to this quirky list of sisterly promises! By the way, these promises are also extended to best friends – sisterhood love has no bounds.

A healthy relationship between sisters is when the love shared is unconditional, the support given is compassionate, and the happiness of everyone involved is considered.

Now go hug your sister!

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

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