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16 Life Lessons I Want My Kids to Know

16 Life Lessons I Want My Kids to Know

As I struggled to hold on to the arm of my one-year-old to keep her from getting lost in the busy galleria, she defiantly pulled it away, taking her first independent steps into a world she wanted to explore on her own. Her brazen sprint mirrored glimpses of my young rebel spirit and I shredded at the thought of how fast she was growing up. I wanted be a part of her growing up process and hold her from taking the wrong turns. I didn’t wanted her to learn the most important life lessons the hard way—through her mistakes—so I sat down to write all that I wished her to know the day she sets out on her own journey to explore this world on her own, I hope to read it out to her one day sitting by her side, caressing her hair: this is what I want you to know, my little princess.

Life lessons for kids
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    1. If you have to win, don’t try to run ahead of others, try to outrun yourself.

    Compete against who you are today so that tomorrow you emerge as a better person—even if it is just slightly better than who you were yesterday. In the long run it will all add up.

    2. If you want to succeed, follow your interests and whatever you truly care for.

     Think about what makes your day, what motivates you even in the darkest of your moments, what excites you and drives you. Once you know what it is, follow it with all your heart.

    3.  If you want to be loved and give love to others, fall in love with yourself first.

     Approve of who you are, instead of seeking others to approve of you and your actions. Be comfortable with your physical appearance and make peace with your inner being. Don’t try to fit in, stand out and make a mark for yourself!

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    4.  If you want to be happy, don’t chase after happiness.

    Happiness cannot be achieved by running after it because it does not exist outside you; true happiness is within you in the form of compassion, love, gratitude, creativity and goodness. Practice these virtues every day to find true, everlasting happiness in each and every moment of your life.

    5.  If you need companionship, try to be your own best friend first.

    Try to know yourself better by spending some introspective time every day, read a lot, write a bit, explore your dreams, travel unknown trails and the day you get lost is the day you will truly find yourself, and the day you find yourself, success, rewards, friends and joy will follow.

    6.  If you want to rise in life, throw away the baggage that’s holding you down.

    Liberate your true self by letting go of painful memories, fears, doubts, worries of the future, regrets and grudges. This will create space in your life for the important and the meaningful.

    7. If you want to make each day your best day, practice gratitude.

    Life is beautiful and each moment brings with it something we can be grateful about, appreciate it and end your day by being thankful for all the good things that happened to you today.

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    8.If you wish to be strong, practice forgiveness.

    If someone lets you down, forgive them but make sure not to allow them to hurt you again. Forgive yourself too of your wrongdoings but don’t stop trusting yourself or trying new things; learn from your mistakes, be thankful for the experience and move ahead.

    9. If you want good things to happen to you, practice goodness yourself:

    The world will not always be good to you and people will hurt you and situations will work against you, believe in goodness and the power of compassion anyway. Believe that in this circle of life, the good that you do today will come back to you tomorrow.

    10. If you want to make good decisions, take responsibility.

    Keep your commitments, take responsibility for your actions, stick to your words and the promises you make to others and when you make a choice, stand by it till the end.

    11. If you want to avoid anger and frustration, accept change.

    No matter how much structure you build around and how many regimes you follow, life will still throw a lot of surprises at you and routines will go haywire. Accept it because it is the only way to allow better things in life.

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    12. If you want others to think high of you, look up to yourself first.

    Develop your own standards, value your principles, hone your personality and appreciate your talents. Your self-worth will dictate what others think of you.

    13. If you want to live long, practice good habits.

    Take the best care of your body: Exercise daily, be active, get out of your comfort zone, eat healthy, get some sun, feel the fresh morning air on your face, connect with nature and the beautiful world outside.

    14. If you want to keep growing, keep learning.

     Life is a continuous process of learning, enlightening and improving yourself and demands you to be in a constant state of evolution. Knowing that you are each and every day becoming a better person is the only way to keep growing.

    15. If you are going through a rough patch in life, help yourself.

    When you are going through difficult times, don’t look to others for help, because your best savior is nobody but yourself. Keep a positive mind frame, stop asking “why me?”, believe that you can, make an exit plan and take action.

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    16. When in doubt, ask yourself a question.

    Life will keep demanding you to take decisions: some simple, some complex, and some life-changing. When unsure, ask yourself the question, “will it still matter five years down the line?” You will find your solution in the answer.

    And above all , know that I will always be there right by your side whenever you would need me. I love you!

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    Last Updated on March 30, 2020

    What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

    What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

    Have you ever walked into a room and felt like your nerves simply couldn’t handle it? Your heart beats fast, you start to sweat, and you feel like all eyes are on you (even if they’re really not). This is just one of the many ways that being self-conscious can rear its ugly head.

    You may not even realize you’re self-conscious, and you may be wondering, “What does self-conscious mean?” That’s a good place to start.

    This article will define self-consciousness, show how practically everyone has faced it at one point or another, and give you tips to avoid it.

    What Does Self-Conscious Mean?

    According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, self-conscious is defined as “conscious of one’s own acts or states as belonging to or originating in oneself.”[1]

    Not so bad, right? There’s another definition, though — one that speaks more to what you’re going through: “feeling uncomfortably conscious of oneself as an object of the observation of others.” For those of us who regularly deal with extreme self-consciousness, that second definition sounds about right.

    There are many different ways self-consciousness can spring up. You may feel self-conscious around people you know, like your family members or closest friends. You may feel self-conscious at work, even though you spend hours every week around your co-workers. Or you may feel self-conscious when out in public and surrounded by strangers. However, you probably don’t feel self-conscious when you’re home alone.

    How to Stop Being Too Self-Conscious

    When you’re in the throes of self-consciousness, it’s nearly impossible to remember how to stop feeling that way. That’s why it’s so important to prepare ahead of time, when you’re feeling ready to tackle the problem instead of succumbing to it.

    Here are a variety of ways to feel better about yourself and stop thinking about how others see you.

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    1. Ask Yourself, “So What?”

    One way to banish negative, self-conscious thoughts is to do just that: banish them.

    The next time you walk into a room and feel your face getting red, think to yourself, “So what?” How much does it really matter if people don’t like how you look or act? What’s the worst that could happen?

    Most of the time, you’ll find that you don’t have a good answer to this question. Then, you can immediately start assigning such thoughts less importance. With self-awareness, you can acknowledge that your negative thoughts are present and realize that you don’t agree with them.[2] They’re just thoughts, after all.

    2. Be Honest

    A lie that self-consciousness might tell is that there’s one way to act or feel. Honestly, though, everyone else is just figuring life out as well. There isn’t a preferred way to show up to an event, gathering, or public place. What you can do is be honest with your feelings and thoughts.[3]

    If you feel offended by something someone says, you don’t have to smile to be polite or laugh to fit in with the crowd. Instead, you can politely say why you disagree or excuse yourself and find a group of people who you relate to better. If you’re nervous, don’t overcompensate by trying to look relaxed and casual — it’ll be obvious you’re putting on a front. Instead, nothing is more endearing than saying, “I’m a little nervous!” to a room of people who probably feel the exact same way.

    On the same note, if you don’t understand why someone wants you to do something, question it. You can do this at work, at home, or even with people you don’t know well. Nobody should force you to do something you don’t want to do.

    Also, even if you’re willing to do what’s asked of you, there’s nothing wrong with asking for more clarification. People will realize that you’re not a person to be bossed around.

    3. Understand Why You’re Struggling at Work

    Being self-conscious at work can get in the way of your daily responsibilities, your relationships with co-workers, and even your career as a whole. If you’re facing some sort of conflict but you’re too nervous to speak up, you may be at the whim of what happens to you instead of taking some control.

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    If you’re usually confident at work, you may be wondering where this new self-consciousness is coming from. It’s possible that you’re dealing with burnout.[4] Common signs are anxiety, fatigue and distraction, all of which can leave you feeling under-confident.

    4. Succeed at Something

    When you create success in your life, it’s easier to feel confident[5] and less self-conscious. If you feel self-conscious at work, finish the project that’s been looming over your head. If you feel self-conscious in the gym, complete an advanced workout class.

    Exposing yourself to what you’re scared of and then succeeding at it in some way (even just by finishing it) can do wonders for your self-esteem. The more confidence you build, the more likely you are to have more success in the future, which will create a cycle of confidence-building.

    5. Treat All of You — Not Just Your Self-Consciousness

    Trying to solve your self-consciousness alone may not treat the root of the problem. Instead, take a well-rounded approach to lower your self-consciousness and build confidence in areas where you may struggle.

    Even professional counselors are embracing this holistic type of treatment[6] because they feel that the health of the mind and body are inextricably linked. This approach combines physical, spiritual, and psychological components. Common activities and treatments include meditation, yoga, massage, and healthy changes to diet and exercise.

    If much of this is new to you, it will pay to give it a try. You never know how it will impact you.

    If you’re feeling self-conscious about how your body looks, a massage that makes you feel great could boost your confidence. If you try a new workout, you could have something exciting to talk about the next time you’re in a group setting.

    Putting yourself in a new situation and learning that you can get through it with grace can give you the confidence to get through all sorts of events and nerve-wracking moments.

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    6. Make the Changes That Are Within Your Control

    Let’s say you walk into a room and you’re self-conscious about how you look. However, you may have put a lot of time and effort into your outfit. Even though it may stand out, this is how you have chosen to express yourself.

    You have to work on your internal confidence, not your external appearance. There’s nothing to change other than your outlook.

    On the other hand, maybe there’s something that you don’t like about yourself that you can change. For example, maybe you hate how a birthmark on your face looks or have varicose veins that you think are unsightly. If you can do something about these things, do it! There’s nothing wrong with changing your appearance (or skills, education, etc.) if it’s going to make you more confident.

    You don’t have to accept your current situation for acceptance’s sake. There’s no award for putting up with something you hate. Confidence is also required to make changes that are scary, even if they’re for the better. Plus, it may be an easier fix than you thought. For example, treating varicose veins doesn’t have to involve surgery — sometimes simple compression stockings will take care of the problem.[7]

    7. Realize That Everyone Has Awkward Moments

    Everyone has said something awkward to someone else and lived to tell the tale. We’ve all forgotten somebody’s name or said, “You too!” when the concession stand girl says to enjoy our movie. Not only are these things uber-common, but they’re not nearly as embarrassing as you feel they are.

    Think about how you react when someone else does something awkward. Do you think, “Wow, that person’s such a loser!” or do you think, “What a relief, I’m not the only one who does that.” Chances are good that’s the same reaction others have to you when you stumble.

    Remember, self-consciousness is a state of mind that you have control over. You don’t have to feel this way. Do what you need to in order to build your confidence, put your self-consciousness in perspective, and start exercising your “I feel awesome about myself” muscle. It’ll get easier with time.

    When Is Being Self-Conscious a Good Thing?

    Self-consciousness can sometimes be a good thing[8], but you have to take the awkwardness and nerves out of it.

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    In this case, “self-aware” is a much better term. Knowing how you come off to people is an excellent trait; you’ll be able to read a room and understand how what you do and say affects others. These are fantastic skills for people work and personal relationships.

    Self-awareness helps you dress appropriately for the occasion, tells you that you’re talking too loud or not loud enough, and guides a conversation so you don’t offend or bore anyone.

    It’s not about being someone you’re not — that can actually have adverse effects, just like self-consciousness. Instead, it’s about turning up certain aspects of yourself to perform well in the situation.

    Final Thoughts

    When you’re self-conscious, you’re constantly battling with yourself in an effort to control how other people view you. You try to change yourself to suit what you think other people want to see.

    The truth, though, is that you can’t actually control how other people view you — and you may not even be correct about how they view you in the first place.

    Being confident doesn’t happen overnight. Instead, it happens in small steps as you slowly build your confidence and say “no” to your self-consciousness. It also requires accepting that you’re going to feel self-conscious sometimes, and that’s okay.

    Sometimes worrying that there is a problem can be more stressful than the problem itself. Feeling bad for feeling self-conscious can be more troublesome than simply feeling it and getting on with the day.

    Forgive yourself for being human and make the small changes that will lead to better confidence in the future.

    More Tips for Improving Your Self-Esteem

    Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

    Reference

    [1] Merriam-Webster: Self-conscious
    [2] Bustle: 7 Tips On How To Stop Feeling Self-Conscious
    [3] Marc and Angel: 10 Things to Remember When You Feel Unsure of Yourself
    [4] Bostitch: How to Protect Small Businesses From Burnout
    [5] Psychology Today: Self-conscious? Get Over It
    [6] Wake Forest University: Embracing Holistic Medicine
    [7] Center for Vein Restoration: What Causes Venous Ulcers, and How Are They Treated?
    [8] Scientific American: The Pros and Cons of Being Self-Aware

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