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16 Life Lessons I Want My Kids to Know

16 Life Lessons I Want My Kids to Know

As I struggled to hold on to the arm of my one-year-old to keep her from getting lost in the busy galleria, she defiantly pulled it away, taking her first independent steps into a world she wanted to explore on her own. Her brazen sprint mirrored glimpses of my young rebel spirit and I shredded at the thought of how fast she was growing up. I wanted be a part of her growing up process and hold her from taking the wrong turns. I didn’t wanted her to learn the most important life lessons the hard way—through her mistakes—so I sat down to write all that I wished her to know the day she sets out on her own journey to explore this world on her own, I hope to read it out to her one day sitting by her side, caressing her hair: this is what I want you to know, my little princess.

Life lessons for kids
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    1. If you have to win, don’t try to run ahead of others, try to outrun yourself.

    Compete against who you are today so that tomorrow you emerge as a better person—even if it is just slightly better than who you were yesterday. In the long run it will all add up.

    2. If you want to succeed, follow your interests and whatever you truly care for.

     Think about what makes your day, what motivates you even in the darkest of your moments, what excites you and drives you. Once you know what it is, follow it with all your heart.

    3.  If you want to be loved and give love to others, fall in love with yourself first.

     Approve of who you are, instead of seeking others to approve of you and your actions. Be comfortable with your physical appearance and make peace with your inner being. Don’t try to fit in, stand out and make a mark for yourself!

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    4.  If you want to be happy, don’t chase after happiness.

    Happiness cannot be achieved by running after it because it does not exist outside you; true happiness is within you in the form of compassion, love, gratitude, creativity and goodness. Practice these virtues every day to find true, everlasting happiness in each and every moment of your life.

    5.  If you need companionship, try to be your own best friend first.

    Try to know yourself better by spending some introspective time every day, read a lot, write a bit, explore your dreams, travel unknown trails and the day you get lost is the day you will truly find yourself, and the day you find yourself, success, rewards, friends and joy will follow.

    6.  If you want to rise in life, throw away the baggage that’s holding you down.

    Liberate your true self by letting go of painful memories, fears, doubts, worries of the future, regrets and grudges. This will create space in your life for the important and the meaningful.

    7. If you want to make each day your best day, practice gratitude.

    Life is beautiful and each moment brings with it something we can be grateful about, appreciate it and end your day by being thankful for all the good things that happened to you today.

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    8.If you wish to be strong, practice forgiveness.

    If someone lets you down, forgive them but make sure not to allow them to hurt you again. Forgive yourself too of your wrongdoings but don’t stop trusting yourself or trying new things; learn from your mistakes, be thankful for the experience and move ahead.

    9. If you want good things to happen to you, practice goodness yourself:

    The world will not always be good to you and people will hurt you and situations will work against you, believe in goodness and the power of compassion anyway. Believe that in this circle of life, the good that you do today will come back to you tomorrow.

    10. If you want to make good decisions, take responsibility.

    Keep your commitments, take responsibility for your actions, stick to your words and the promises you make to others and when you make a choice, stand by it till the end.

    11. If you want to avoid anger and frustration, accept change.

    No matter how much structure you build around and how many regimes you follow, life will still throw a lot of surprises at you and routines will go haywire. Accept it because it is the only way to allow better things in life.

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    12. If you want others to think high of you, look up to yourself first.

    Develop your own standards, value your principles, hone your personality and appreciate your talents. Your self-worth will dictate what others think of you.

    13. If you want to live long, practice good habits.

    Take the best care of your body: Exercise daily, be active, get out of your comfort zone, eat healthy, get some sun, feel the fresh morning air on your face, connect with nature and the beautiful world outside.

    14. If you want to keep growing, keep learning.

     Life is a continuous process of learning, enlightening and improving yourself and demands you to be in a constant state of evolution. Knowing that you are each and every day becoming a better person is the only way to keep growing.

    15. If you are going through a rough patch in life, help yourself.

    When you are going through difficult times, don’t look to others for help, because your best savior is nobody but yourself. Keep a positive mind frame, stop asking “why me?”, believe that you can, make an exit plan and take action.

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    16. When in doubt, ask yourself a question.

    Life will keep demanding you to take decisions: some simple, some complex, and some life-changing. When unsure, ask yourself the question, “will it still matter five years down the line?” You will find your solution in the answer.

    And above all , know that I will always be there right by your side whenever you would need me. I love you!

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    Published on May 4, 2021

    How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

    How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

    They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

    In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

    How to Spot Fake People?

    When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

    Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

    1. Full of Themselves

    Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

    Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

    2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

    Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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    It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

    3. Zero Self-Reflection

    To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

    Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

    4. Unrealistic Perceptions

    Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

    A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

    5. Love Attention

    As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

    6. People Pleaser

    Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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    Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

    7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

    Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

    8. Crappy friend

    Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

    It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

    The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

    How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

    It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

    There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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    1. Boundaries

    Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

    2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

    Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

    3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

    If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

    4. Ask for Advice

    If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

    Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

    5. Dig Deeper

    Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

    Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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    6. Practice Self-Care!

    Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

    Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

    Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

    Final Thoughts

    Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

    We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

    More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

    Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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