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15 Things Your Parents Lied to You About Life

15 Things Your Parents Lied to You About Life

Most parents tell lies to their children as a method to change their manners and behavior. They use this method for many reasons, and the most important reason is protection. It might be tough to call these lies, because parents mostly use “white lies” to steer their children to the correct path in life. Here are a few of the most egregious lies your parents told you about life:

1. Your disillusion about marriage

When you are disillusioned about someone, your faith or beliefs are dashed. Your parents’ divorce might cause disillusionment over your romantic ideas of marriage. As a product of divorce, you may now believe that marriage is short-lived and divorce is unavoidable.

2. Importance of education

Another lie we heard from parents is about education. Going to good colleges and having a good major can increase the chances of getting a good job after graduation. But these days too many people are going to college, building thousands of dollars of debt, and are still unable to get jobs due to being “over educated.”

3. Your biased political views

A recent Texas Tech research suggests that parents have the biggest influence on our political beliefs. A political candidate you supported strongly could lose favor if that politician doesn’t follow through on your parents’ promises.

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4. Your fear of neglecting the norm

Parents want to instill their beliefs in their children and inform them of the troubles in going against the odds. Instead of adding our personal opinions about what is right or wrong, parents make wrong decisions by describing irrelevant facts of the different categories: Sex and Nudity, Alcohol/Drugs/Smoking.

5. Your faith in religion

In childhood, we are encouraged to seek out the faith and guidance from our religion. They will tell their children stories about religion; this is how we learn religion from parents. But if you look at different scandals, violence, war and controversy, at the root of almost every bad situation you might find religion.

6. Your preconceptions

Parents provide their child the first definitions of their existence. They teach their child through their every word, gesture, and action to inform the importance of his or her existence and how he or she is perceived by the outside world. Rather there should be a healthy self-concept, which means let the child have own belief about herself, not someone others opinion.

7. Exaggeration of their own character

This is a big one. Your parents might continuously sing their own praises about being the model child, and you should attempt to adopt that model. But if you ask your grandparents about your parents, they will tell you that your parents were, perhaps, way crazier than you. They just try to make you the best person, while exaggerating about themselves a lot.

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8. You need to be healthy and finish your food

Finish your food if you want to healthy! This is a common lie that is repeated in front of every child. You should not overeat, as it bad for your health. It’s predicted that in the next 20 years 50% of the population will have diabetes. So maybe we should try NOT finishing our dinner.

9. Mobile and laptop usage

Your parents might be lying to you if they tell you that you don’t need a cellphone or laptop in this day and age. While technically correct, if your parents want to be able to reach you while you are away from the house, a cellphone is likely necessary. If they want you to be able to do your school work, a laptop or tablet or probably important.

10. Watching too much TV will harm your eyesight

Parents always use this trick to keep their children way from television, no matter what the distance to the screen. As Children Health points out, parents should communicate to their kids that the TV is “for random entertainment, not for continuous relaxation.

11. Using imaginary characters

Some parents use imaginary characters to inspire or even frighten. If you were told that there are goblins or some other “monster” who might frighten you into proper behavior, your parents were lying — just as you might have been told about Santa, the Tooth Fairy and other characters.

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12. Lies about money

Some parents tell their children that they must make a lot of money — usually to try and save them from pain they might have suffered in their own impoverished times. On the other hand, some parents say that money doesn’t buy happiness when in fact, money can solve a lot of problems that can make people unhappy. Whatever side you fall on, your parents likely have your best interests in mind, but you should make your own choices in regards to how much money you strive to make.

13. Having unwavering faith

We have been brought up to have firm faith on different things in our life.  Believing that our prayers are being heard, or anyone with a good reputation or popular leaders must be superior and respectable. Just for instance, you might have been brought up to believe that any person with a badge or a government-issued card are the people with our best interest at heart, so they must be right and respected— when in reality, they are sometimes no more honest than your fellow citizen.

14. Choosing profession

When we are young, our parents sometimes say that you can be whatever you want to be but in reality we can’t always. Maybe you could be a professional dancer, but really, they won’t encourage it. Or maybe, without hurting your feelings, they are trying to tell you that it’s not really a talent you have. Whatever your parents say, choose a profession that suits you.

15. On eating and food issues

There’s an old story about a woman who chopped off both ends of the roast before she put it in a pot and cooked it for dinner. When her husband asked her why she did this, she said her mother always did and that’s how she learned to do it. When the mother was asked, she said the same thing. When the grandmother was asked, she replied, “When I first got married, the pot I had to cook in was too small for most roasts, so I had to cut off the ends to make it fit.”

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Just because your mother did something, doesn’t mean you have to do it — and you don’t necessarily have to eat it either. If your parents are adamant that you clear your plate or only get two cookies after dinner, you might find yourself struggling with those issues once you leave home. Try and explore food on your own and make your own assertions about how and what to eat.

Featured photo credit: Mother and her son by the sea via shutterstock.com

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The Gentle Art of Saying No

The Gentle Art of Saying No

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

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But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

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What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

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But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here are the Top 10 tips for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No:

  1. Value your time. Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”
  2. Know your priorities. Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time? For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.
  3. Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
  4. Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.
  5. Stop being nice. Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets. Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.
  6. Say no to your boss. Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.
  7. Pre-empting. It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting, “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”
  8. Get back to you. Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them: “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.” At least you gave it some consideration.
  9. Maybe later. If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say, “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].” Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.
  10. It’s not you, it’s me. This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time. Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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