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15 Things You Don’t Need To Apologize For (Though You Think You Do)

15 Things You Don’t Need To Apologize For (Though You Think You Do)

Often, we apologize because we worry too much about what other people think, or because we put their feelings above our own needs. There are many situations where an apology is unnecessary.

Here are 15 things you should never apologize for, even if you think you should.

1. You Should Never Apologize for Loving Someone

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    Celebrate the fact that you are able to love. There are many people in the world too scared to take a chance on love in the first place. It doesn’t matter who you love or if they love you back. The fact that you can love is what’s important.

    2. You Should Never Apologize for Saying No

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      Respecting your own limitations is a sign of self respect. If you cannot give 100 percent to something you should never apologize for saying no. The ability to say no is a sign of a good leader.

      3. You Should Never Apologize for Following a Dream

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        A life lived with regret is yours to miss. Never apologize for following a dream because that dream makes you who you are. You will never fulfill happiness unless you live your dreams instead of dreaming your life.

        4. You Should Never Apologize for Taking “Me” Time

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          You will never be successful and fulfill your happiness unless you first take care of yourself. Always take care of your own needs and take “me time” to do things that make you happy.

          5. You Should Never Apologize for Your Priorities

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            Never allow anyone to make you feel guilty over your priorities. Always take care of your own priorities first. If it’s important to you then it is important. The people who matter will respect your choice.

            6. You Should Never Apologize for Ending a Toxic Relationship

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              You should never say that you are sorry for letting go of someone who hurts you. Understanding an unhealthy relationship holds you back from reaching your full potential is a huge step forward. Be proud and surround yourself with people who celebrate your courage.

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              7. You Should Never Apologize for Your Imperfections

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                Imperfections are what makes you beautiful and unique. They should be embraced. Never say you’re sorry for a quality that makes you imperfectly perfect.

                8. You Should Never Apologize for Standing your Ground

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                  Never say you are sorry for defending your values, morals, ethics,religious or spiritual beliefs. Leaders never apologize for doing what they feel is right.

                  9. You Should Never Apologize for Not Knowing the Answer

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                    The constant quest for knowledge keeps our brains young. Never say you’re sorry when presented with an opportunity to learn.  Being able to admit you do not know is a sign of strength and humility.

                    10. You Should Never Apologize for High Expectations

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                      Never apologize for expecting the same of others as you expect of yourself. Having high expectations only means that you care enough about others to push them to be their best.

                      11. You Should Never Apologize for Spending Money on Yourself

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                        Never apologize for treating yourself to something special. Buying yourself something nice improves your self esteem. Happy and successful people know their own desires are important to a fulfilling life.

                        12. You Should Never Apologize for Someone Else

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                          Everyone is responsible for their own actions and behavior. You do not need to apologize for something someone else did even if you feel their actions reflect upon you through association.

                          13. You Should Never Apologize for Bad Dancing

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                            Never say you’re sorry for not knowing a dance, or dancing it badly. Just dance! The joy dancing brings is worth any embarrassment.

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                            14. You Should Never Apologize for a Delay in Your Response

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                              Successful people understand that prioritizing sometimes means a delay in responding to emails and phone calls. Never apologize for not putting someone’s email or text on a back burner while you take care of more important things.

                              15. You Should Never Apologize for Telling the Truth

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                                Strong people tell the truth. Never apologize for being strong. Even if the truth hurts, the benefits of honesty far outweigh the initial sting of the truth.

                                Be true to who you are and don’t worry about what other people think. Over apologizing or saying I’m sorry when it’s not necessary reduces self-esteem over time. Save “I’m sorry” for when you actually make a mistake.

                                Do you over apologize? Share your experience in the comments below. We all learn from each other.

                                Featured photo credit: by Justin Brown via flickr.com

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                                Missy Yost

                                Missy is a business owner and writes about everyday lifestyle tips on Lifehack.

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                                Last Updated on August 6, 2020

                                6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

                                6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

                                We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

                                “Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

                                Are we speaking the same language?

                                My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

                                When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

                                Am I being lazy?

                                When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

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                                Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

                                Early in the relationship:

                                “Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

                                When the relationship is established:

                                “Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

                                It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

                                Have I actually got anything to say?

                                When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

                                A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

                                When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

                                Am I painting an accurate picture?

                                One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

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                                How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

                                Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

                                What words am I using?

                                It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

                                Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

                                Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

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                                Is the map really the territory?

                                Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

                                A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

                                I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

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