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15 Things to Remember If You Love A Workaholic

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15 Things to Remember If You Love A Workaholic

“I’m the true definition of a workaholic.” – Kim Kardashian

If you love a workaholic, there is little point in going into a sulk or making life even more difficult for your loved one. You know that a workaholic is more likely to have health and work-life balance problems, so there is no need to stress over it. Here are 15 things to remember about workaholics.

1. They are addicted to work.

The problem for the typical workaholic is that they are totally convinced that unless they are super productive, their sense of self-worth plummets. The cure is worse than the disease. It is often difficult to pinpoint what constitutes workaholism. But it is described as an addiction.

2. They thrive on work.

They know that they are risking health problems but the buzz they get from juggling multiple projects is like nothing else on earth. When they are away from their desk they feel uneasy and fidgety.

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“I’m a bit of a workaholic. When I feel like I’m not doing something, it drives me insane.” – Ashley Greene.

3. They panic about holidays.

The idea of leaving for a holiday throws them into a panic. Separation from work could lead to a breakdown, rather than a complete rest, they feel.

4. They believe in the work ethic.

The work ethic is as strong as ever. What people fail to realize is that modern technology has made it even more difficult to devalue this. Unplugging from work is now almost impossible because of smartphones and other hi-tech gadgets which help the workaholic feed his habit relentlessly.

5. They have no plans to retire.

While most of us dream of doing nothing and getting up late when we retire, the workaholic never even entertains the idea of retiring from work. They feel there is no compelling reason to go into retirement unless actually forced to do so for health reasons.

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6. They do not want to be nagged about attending social events.

Yes, the workaholic does feel guilt at times about neglecting family and social events. They really appreciate not being nagged about these because they just cannot establish the boundaries between home and work

7. They often have valid reasons for overworking.

Have you ever thought how inefficient and lazy colleagues can often force a person into being a workaholic? This is often ignored because most experts argue that the workaholic is making life difficult for everybody. They rarely think of the flipside.

8. They have powerful motivation.

How many people do you know who have a passion for their job? Workaholics always do and while it may be a substitution for negative emotions in their personal life, their dedication, motivation and passion for the job often goes unrecognized.

9. They are perfectionists.

Psychologists now tell us that perfectionism is the driving force most workaholics possess. They are constantly striving to bridge the gap between their wild expectations and their self-evaluation of how they actually performed. This is what propels them forward.

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10. They have a different concept of relaxation.

If you ask a workaholic what his or her idea of relaxation is, you might be surprised at the answer. They will tell you that they love multi taking but above all, the fact of accomplishing a task and having 10 others lined up in the next few hours is their idea of relaxation.

11. Their views on money and happiness are skewed.

The workaholic is convinced that success and money will make their family happier. If they think this, they are mistaken. They probably have not read about research that shows families who make $5million a year are not any happier than those who earn $75,000.

12. They cannot text back.

As a loved one, you feel neglected. You think, why can’t she or he text back? The reality of the workaholic’s life is that they have meetings with clients or that they have 10 meetings back to back for the rest of the day. Lunch is skipped again and there no time even between meetings because they are talking to their boss.

13. They may be compensating for something else.

Work, ambition, motivation, promotion, and success. These are the recipes that drive them. But often, these are just symptoms of a deeper uneasiness in their emotional lives or maybe just a bad coping mechanism for dissatisfaction with their lives. Could you be the reason? It might be no harm to reflect on this.

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14. They can benefit from working under pressure.

It is true that the longer you work, the less productive you become. But some workaholics thrive on stress as they find it gets the adrenaline flowing and that is at least a positive benefit. The ideal situation is to manage time better in order to make work more productive and satisfying.

15. They need total control.

It should be no surprise that the workaholic rarely delegates and when he or she does, they go through agony about whether it will be done properly. Another aspect of the desire for total control is that their smartphone will never leave their side. Yes, they take it to bed too!

Now that you know what a makes a workaholic tick, you can just sit back and wait until he or she realizes that work is just one part of life.

Featured photo credit: Hands Typing On Laptop With Smartphone And Coffee via stokpic.com

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More by this author

Robert Locke

Author of Ziger the Tiger Stories, a health enthusiast specializing in relationships, life improvement and mental health.

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Last Updated on July 20, 2021

How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

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How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

You’re standing behind the curtain, just about to make your way on stage to face the many faces half-shrouded in darkness in front of you. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step. A familiar thump echoes throughout your body – your heartbeat has gone off the charts.

Don’t worry, you’re not the only one with glossophobia(also known as speech anxiety or the fear of speaking to large crowds). Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage.

Your body’s defence mechanism responds by causing a part of your brain to release adrenaline into your blood – the same chemical that gets released as if you were being chased by a lion.

Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you overcome your fear of public speaking:

1. Prepare yourself mentally and physically

According to experts, we’re built to display anxiety and to recognize it in others. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. Hence, it’s important to prepare yourself before the big show so that you arrive on stage confident, collected and ready.

“Your outside world is a reflection of your inside world. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside.” – Bob Proctor

Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain. Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:

Warming up

If you’re nervous, chances are your body will feel the same way. Your body gets tense, your muscles feel tight or you’re breaking in cold sweat. The audience will notice you are nervous.

If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body. It’s better to warm up before every speech as it helps to increase the functional potential of the body as a whole. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements.

Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time:

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  1. Neck and shoulder rolls – This helps relieve upper body muscle tension and pressure as the rolls focus on rotating the head and shoulders, loosening the muscle. Stress and anxiety can make us rigid within this area which can make you feel agitated, especially when standing.
  2. Arm stretches – We often use this part of our muscles during a speech or presentation through our hand gestures and movements. Stretching these muscles can reduce arm fatigue, loosen you up and improve your body language range.
  3. Waist twists – Place your hands on your hips and rotate your waist in a circular motion. This exercise focuses on loosening the abdominal and lower back regions which is essential as it can cause discomfort and pain, further amplifying any anxieties you may experience.

Stay hydrated

Ever felt parched seconds before speaking? And then coming up on stage sounding raspy and scratchy in front of the audience? This happens because the adrenaline from stage fright causes your mouth to feel dried out.

To prevent all that, it’s essential we stay adequately hydrated before a speech. A sip of water will do the trick. However, do drink in moderation so that you won’t need to go to the bathroom constantly.

Try to avoid sugary beverages and caffeine, since it’s a diuretic – meaning you’ll feel thirstier. It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly.

Meditate

Meditation is well-known as a powerful tool to calm the mind. ABC’s Dan Harris, co-anchor of Nightline and Good Morning America weekend and author of the book titled10% Happier , recommends that meditation can help individuals to feel significantly calmer, faster.

Meditation is like a workout for your mind. It gives you the strength and focus to filter out the negativity and distractions with words of encouragement, confidence and strength.

Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is a popular method to calm yourself before going up on the big stage. The practice involves sitting comfortably, focusing on your breathing and then bringing your mind’s attention to the present without drifting into concerns about the past or future – which likely includes floundering on stage.

Here’s a nice example of guided meditation before public speaking:

2. Focus on your goal

One thing people with a fear of public speaking have in common is focusing too much on themselves and the possibility of failure.

Do I look funny? What if I can’t remember what to say? Do I look stupid? Will people listen to me? Does anyone care about what I’m talking about?’

Instead of thinking this way, shift your attention to your one true purpose – contributing something of value to your audience.

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Decide on the progress you’d like your audience to make after your presentation. Notice their movements and expressions to adapt your speech to ensure that they are having a good time to leave the room as better people.

If your own focus isn’t beneficial and what it should be when you’re speaking, then shift it to what does. This is also key to establishing trust during your presentation as the audience can clearly see that you have their interests at heart.[1]

3. Convert negativity to positivity

There are two sides constantly battling inside of us – one is filled with strength and courage while the other is doubt and insecurities. Which one will you feed?

‘What if I mess up this speech? What if I’m not funny enough? What if I forget what to say?’

It’s no wonder why many of us are uncomfortable giving a presentation. All we do is bring ourselves down before we got a chance to prove ourselves. This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy – a belief that comes true because we are acting as if it already is. If you think you’re incompetent, then it will eventually become true.

Motivational coaches tout that positive mantras and affirmations tend to boost your confidents for the moments that matter most. Say to yourself: “I’ll ace this speech and I can do it!”

Take advantage of your adrenaline rush to encourage positive outcome rather than thinking of the negative ‘what ifs’.

Here’s a video of Psychologist Kelly McGonigal who encourages her audience to turn stress into something positive as well as provide methods on how to cope with it:

4. Understand your content

Knowing your content at your fingertips helps reduce your anxiety because there is one less thing to worry about. One way to get there is to practice numerous times before your actual speech.

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However, memorizing your script word-for-word is not encouraged. You can end up freezing should you forget something. You’ll also risk sounding unnatural and less approachable.

“No amount of reading or memorizing will make you successful in life. It is the understanding and the application of wise thought that counts.” – Bob Proctor

Many people unconsciously make the mistake of reading from their slides or memorizing their script word-for-word without understanding their content – a definite way to stress themselves out.

Understanding your speech flow and content makes it easier for you to convert ideas and concepts into your own words which you can then clearly explain to others in a conversational manner. Designing your slides to include text prompts is also an easy hack to ensure you get to quickly recall your flow when your mind goes blank.[2]

One way to understand is to memorize the over-arching concepts or ideas in your pitch. It helps you speak more naturally and let your personality shine through. It’s almost like taking your audience on a journey with a few key milestones.

5. Practice makes perfect

Like most people, many of us are not naturally attuned to public speaking. Rarely do individuals walk up to a large audience and present flawlessly without any research and preparation.

In fact, some of the top presenters make it look easy during showtime because they have spent countless hours behind-the-scenes in deep practice. Even great speakers like the late John F. Kennedy would spend months preparing his speech beforehand.

Public speaking, like any other skill, requires practice – whether it be practicing your speech countless of times in front of a mirror or making notes. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect!

6. Be authentic

There’s nothing wrong with feeling stressed before going up to speak in front of an audience.

Many people fear public speaking because they fear others will judge them for showing their true, vulnerable self. However, vulnerability can sometimes help you come across as more authentic and relatable as a speaker.

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Drop the pretence of trying to act or speak like someone else and you’ll find that it’s worth the risk. You become more genuine, flexible and spontaneous, which makes it easier to handle unpredictable situations – whether it’s getting tough questions from the crowd or experiencing an unexpected technical difficulty.

To find out your authentic style of speaking is easy. Just pick a topic or issue you are passionate about and discuss this like you normally would with a close family or friend. It is like having a conversation with someone in a personal one-to-one setting. A great way to do this on stage is to select a random audience member(with a hopefully calming face) and speak to a single person at a time during your speech. You’ll find that it’s easier trying to connect to one person at a time than a whole room.

With that said, being comfortable enough to be yourself in front of others may take a little time and some experience, depending how comfortable you are with being yourself in front of others. But once you embrace it, stage fright will not be as intimidating as you initially thought.

Presenters like Barack Obama are a prime example of a genuine and passionate speaker:

7. Post speech evaluation

Last but not the least, if you’ve done public speaking and have been scarred from a bad experience, try seeing it as a lesson learned to improve yourself as a speaker.

Don’t beat yourself up after a presentation

We are the hardest on ourselves and it’s good to be. But when you finish delivering your speech or presentation, give yourself some recognition and a pat on the back.

You managed to finish whatever you had to do and did not give up. You did not let your fears and insecurities get to you. Take a little more pride in your work and believe in yourself.

Improve your next speech

As mentioned before, practice does make perfect. If you want to improve your public speaking skills, try asking someone to film you during a speech or presentation. Afterwards, watch and observe what you can do to improve yourself next time.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself after every speech:

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  • How did I do?
  • Are there any areas for improvement?
  • Did I sound or look stressed?
  • Did I stumble on my words? Why?
  • Was I saying “um” too often?
  • How was the flow of the speech?

Write everything you observed down and keep practicing and improving. In time, you’ll be able to better manage your fears of public speaking and appear more confident when it counts.

If you want even more tips about public speaking or delivering a great presentation, check out these articles too:

Reference

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