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15 Things to Remember If You Love A Workaholic

15 Things to Remember If You Love A Workaholic

“I’m the true definition of a workaholic.” – Kim Kardashian

If you love a workaholic, there is little point in going into a sulk or making life even more difficult for your loved one. You know that a workaholic is more likely to have health and work-life balance problems, so there is no need to stress over it. Here are 15 things to remember about workaholics.

1. They are addicted to work.

The problem for the typical workaholic is that they are totally convinced that unless they are super productive, their sense of self-worth plummets. The cure is worse than the disease. It is often difficult to pinpoint what constitutes workaholism. But it is described as an addiction.

2. They thrive on work.

They know that they are risking health problems but the buzz they get from juggling multiple projects is like nothing else on earth. When they are away from their desk they feel uneasy and fidgety.

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“I’m a bit of a workaholic. When I feel like I’m not doing something, it drives me insane.” – Ashley Greene.

3. They panic about holidays.

The idea of leaving for a holiday throws them into a panic. Separation from work could lead to a breakdown, rather than a complete rest, they feel.

4. They believe in the work ethic.

The work ethic is as strong as ever. What people fail to realize is that modern technology has made it even more difficult to devalue this. Unplugging from work is now almost impossible because of smartphones and other hi-tech gadgets which help the workaholic feed his habit relentlessly.

5. They have no plans to retire.

While most of us dream of doing nothing and getting up late when we retire, the workaholic never even entertains the idea of retiring from work. They feel there is no compelling reason to go into retirement unless actually forced to do so for health reasons.

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6. They do not want to be nagged about attending social events.

Yes, the workaholic does feel guilt at times about neglecting family and social events. They really appreciate not being nagged about these because they just cannot establish the boundaries between home and work

7. They often have valid reasons for overworking.

Have you ever thought how inefficient and lazy colleagues can often force a person into being a workaholic? This is often ignored because most experts argue that the workaholic is making life difficult for everybody. They rarely think of the flipside.

8. They have powerful motivation.

How many people do you know who have a passion for their job? Workaholics always do and while it may be a substitution for negative emotions in their personal life, their dedication, motivation and passion for the job often goes unrecognized.

9. They are perfectionists.

Psychologists now tell us that perfectionism is the driving force most workaholics possess. They are constantly striving to bridge the gap between their wild expectations and their self-evaluation of how they actually performed. This is what propels them forward.

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10. They have a different concept of relaxation.

If you ask a workaholic what his or her idea of relaxation is, you might be surprised at the answer. They will tell you that they love multi taking but above all, the fact of accomplishing a task and having 10 others lined up in the next few hours is their idea of relaxation.

11. Their views on money and happiness are skewed.

The workaholic is convinced that success and money will make their family happier. If they think this, they are mistaken. They probably have not read about research that shows families who make $5million a year are not any happier than those who earn $75,000.

12. They cannot text back.

As a loved one, you feel neglected. You think, why can’t she or he text back? The reality of the workaholic’s life is that they have meetings with clients or that they have 10 meetings back to back for the rest of the day. Lunch is skipped again and there no time even between meetings because they are talking to their boss.

13. They may be compensating for something else.

Work, ambition, motivation, promotion, and success. These are the recipes that drive them. But often, these are just symptoms of a deeper uneasiness in their emotional lives or maybe just a bad coping mechanism for dissatisfaction with their lives. Could you be the reason? It might be no harm to reflect on this.

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14. They can benefit from working under pressure.

It is true that the longer you work, the less productive you become. But some workaholics thrive on stress as they find it gets the adrenaline flowing and that is at least a positive benefit. The ideal situation is to manage time better in order to make work more productive and satisfying.

15. They need total control.

It should be no surprise that the workaholic rarely delegates and when he or she does, they go through agony about whether it will be done properly. Another aspect of the desire for total control is that their smartphone will never leave their side. Yes, they take it to bed too!

Now that you know what a makes a workaholic tick, you can just sit back and wait until he or she realizes that work is just one part of life.

Featured photo credit: Hands Typing On Laptop With Smartphone And Coffee via stokpic.com

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Robert Locke

Author of Ziger the Tiger Stories, a health enthusiast specializing in relationships, life improvement and mental health.

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Last Updated on March 30, 2020

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

Have you ever walked into a room and felt like your nerves simply couldn’t handle it? Your heart beats fast, you start to sweat, and you feel like all eyes are on you (even if they’re really not). This is just one of the many ways that being self-conscious can rear its ugly head.

You may not even realize you’re self-conscious, and you may be wondering, “What does self-conscious mean?” That’s a good place to start.

This article will define self-consciousness, show how practically everyone has faced it at one point or another, and give you tips to avoid it.

What Does Self-Conscious Mean?

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, self-conscious is defined as “conscious of one’s own acts or states as belonging to or originating in oneself.”[1]

Not so bad, right? There’s another definition, though — one that speaks more to what you’re going through: “feeling uncomfortably conscious of oneself as an object of the observation of others.” For those of us who regularly deal with extreme self-consciousness, that second definition sounds about right.

There are many different ways self-consciousness can spring up. You may feel self-conscious around people you know, like your family members or closest friends. You may feel self-conscious at work, even though you spend hours every week around your co-workers. Or you may feel self-conscious when out in public and surrounded by strangers. However, you probably don’t feel self-conscious when you’re home alone.

How to Stop Being Too Self-Conscious

When you’re in the throes of self-consciousness, it’s nearly impossible to remember how to stop feeling that way. That’s why it’s so important to prepare ahead of time, when you’re feeling ready to tackle the problem instead of succumbing to it.

Here are a variety of ways to feel better about yourself and stop thinking about how others see you.

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1. Ask Yourself, “So What?”

One way to banish negative, self-conscious thoughts is to do just that: banish them.

The next time you walk into a room and feel your face getting red, think to yourself, “So what?” How much does it really matter if people don’t like how you look or act? What’s the worst that could happen?

Most of the time, you’ll find that you don’t have a good answer to this question. Then, you can immediately start assigning such thoughts less importance. With self-awareness, you can acknowledge that your negative thoughts are present and realize that you don’t agree with them.[2] They’re just thoughts, after all.

2. Be Honest

A lie that self-consciousness might tell is that there’s one way to act or feel. Honestly, though, everyone else is just figuring life out as well. There isn’t a preferred way to show up to an event, gathering, or public place. What you can do is be honest with your feelings and thoughts.[3]

If you feel offended by something someone says, you don’t have to smile to be polite or laugh to fit in with the crowd. Instead, you can politely say why you disagree or excuse yourself and find a group of people who you relate to better. If you’re nervous, don’t overcompensate by trying to look relaxed and casual — it’ll be obvious you’re putting on a front. Instead, nothing is more endearing than saying, “I’m a little nervous!” to a room of people who probably feel the exact same way.

On the same note, if you don’t understand why someone wants you to do something, question it. You can do this at work, at home, or even with people you don’t know well. Nobody should force you to do something you don’t want to do.

Also, even if you’re willing to do what’s asked of you, there’s nothing wrong with asking for more clarification. People will realize that you’re not a person to be bossed around.

3. Understand Why You’re Struggling at Work

Being self-conscious at work can get in the way of your daily responsibilities, your relationships with co-workers, and even your career as a whole. If you’re facing some sort of conflict but you’re too nervous to speak up, you may be at the whim of what happens to you instead of taking some control.

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If you’re usually confident at work, you may be wondering where this new self-consciousness is coming from. It’s possible that you’re dealing with burnout.[4] Common signs are anxiety, fatigue and distraction, all of which can leave you feeling under-confident.

4. Succeed at Something

When you create success in your life, it’s easier to feel confident[5] and less self-conscious. If you feel self-conscious at work, finish the project that’s been looming over your head. If you feel self-conscious in the gym, complete an advanced workout class.

Exposing yourself to what you’re scared of and then succeeding at it in some way (even just by finishing it) can do wonders for your self-esteem. The more confidence you build, the more likely you are to have more success in the future, which will create a cycle of confidence-building.

5. Treat All of You — Not Just Your Self-Consciousness

Trying to solve your self-consciousness alone may not treat the root of the problem. Instead, take a well-rounded approach to lower your self-consciousness and build confidence in areas where you may struggle.

Even professional counselors are embracing this holistic type of treatment[6] because they feel that the health of the mind and body are inextricably linked. This approach combines physical, spiritual, and psychological components. Common activities and treatments include meditation, yoga, massage, and healthy changes to diet and exercise.

If much of this is new to you, it will pay to give it a try. You never know how it will impact you.

If you’re feeling self-conscious about how your body looks, a massage that makes you feel great could boost your confidence. If you try a new workout, you could have something exciting to talk about the next time you’re in a group setting.

Putting yourself in a new situation and learning that you can get through it with grace can give you the confidence to get through all sorts of events and nerve-wracking moments.

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6. Make the Changes That Are Within Your Control

Let’s say you walk into a room and you’re self-conscious about how you look. However, you may have put a lot of time and effort into your outfit. Even though it may stand out, this is how you have chosen to express yourself.

You have to work on your internal confidence, not your external appearance. There’s nothing to change other than your outlook.

On the other hand, maybe there’s something that you don’t like about yourself that you can change. For example, maybe you hate how a birthmark on your face looks or have varicose veins that you think are unsightly. If you can do something about these things, do it! There’s nothing wrong with changing your appearance (or skills, education, etc.) if it’s going to make you more confident.

You don’t have to accept your current situation for acceptance’s sake. There’s no award for putting up with something you hate. Confidence is also required to make changes that are scary, even if they’re for the better. Plus, it may be an easier fix than you thought. For example, treating varicose veins doesn’t have to involve surgery — sometimes simple compression stockings will take care of the problem.[7]

7. Realize That Everyone Has Awkward Moments

Everyone has said something awkward to someone else and lived to tell the tale. We’ve all forgotten somebody’s name or said, “You too!” when the concession stand girl says to enjoy our movie. Not only are these things uber-common, but they’re not nearly as embarrassing as you feel they are.

Think about how you react when someone else does something awkward. Do you think, “Wow, that person’s such a loser!” or do you think, “What a relief, I’m not the only one who does that.” Chances are good that’s the same reaction others have to you when you stumble.

Remember, self-consciousness is a state of mind that you have control over. You don’t have to feel this way. Do what you need to in order to build your confidence, put your self-consciousness in perspective, and start exercising your “I feel awesome about myself” muscle. It’ll get easier with time.

When Is Being Self-Conscious a Good Thing?

Self-consciousness can sometimes be a good thing[8], but you have to take the awkwardness and nerves out of it.

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In this case, “self-aware” is a much better term. Knowing how you come off to people is an excellent trait; you’ll be able to read a room and understand how what you do and say affects others. These are fantastic skills for people work and personal relationships.

Self-awareness helps you dress appropriately for the occasion, tells you that you’re talking too loud or not loud enough, and guides a conversation so you don’t offend or bore anyone.

It’s not about being someone you’re not — that can actually have adverse effects, just like self-consciousness. Instead, it’s about turning up certain aspects of yourself to perform well in the situation.

Final Thoughts

When you’re self-conscious, you’re constantly battling with yourself in an effort to control how other people view you. You try to change yourself to suit what you think other people want to see.

The truth, though, is that you can’t actually control how other people view you — and you may not even be correct about how they view you in the first place.

Being confident doesn’t happen overnight. Instead, it happens in small steps as you slowly build your confidence and say “no” to your self-consciousness. It also requires accepting that you’re going to feel self-conscious sometimes, and that’s okay.

Sometimes worrying that there is a problem can be more stressful than the problem itself. Feeling bad for feeling self-conscious can be more troublesome than simply feeling it and getting on with the day.

Forgive yourself for being human and make the small changes that will lead to better confidence in the future.

More Tips for Improving Your Self-Esteem

Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Merriam-Webster: Self-conscious
[2] Bustle: 7 Tips On How To Stop Feeling Self-Conscious
[3] Marc and Angel: 10 Things to Remember When You Feel Unsure of Yourself
[4] Bostitch: How to Protect Small Businesses From Burnout
[5] Psychology Today: Self-conscious? Get Over It
[6] Wake Forest University: Embracing Holistic Medicine
[7] Center for Vein Restoration: What Causes Venous Ulcers, and How Are They Treated?
[8] Scientific American: The Pros and Cons of Being Self-Aware

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