“I’m the true definition of a workaholic.” – Kim Kardashian
If you love a workaholic, there is little point in going into a sulk or making life even more difficult for your loved one. You know that a workaholic is more likely to have health and work-life balance problems, so there is no need to stress over it. Here are 15 things to remember about workaholics.
1. They are addicted to work.
The problem for the typical workaholic is that they are totally convinced that unless they are super productive, their sense of self-worth plummets. The cure is worse than the disease. It is often difficult to pinpoint what constitutes workaholism. But it is described as an addiction.
2. They thrive on work.
They know that they are risking health problems but the buzz they get from juggling multiple projects is like nothing else on earth. When they are away from their desk they feel uneasy and fidgety.Advertising
“I’m a bit of a workaholic. When I feel like I’m not doing something, it drives me insane.” – Ashley Greene.
3. They panic about holidays.
The idea of leaving for a holiday throws them into a panic. Separation from work could lead to a breakdown, rather than a complete rest, they feel.
4. They believe in the work ethic.
The work ethic is as strong as ever. What people fail to realize is that modern technology has made it even more difficult to devalue this. Unplugging from work is now almost impossible because of smartphones and other hi-tech gadgets which help the workaholic feed his habit relentlessly.
5. They have no plans to retire.
While most of us dream of doing nothing and getting up late when we retire, the workaholic never even entertains the idea of retiring from work. They feel there is no compelling reason to go into retirement unless actually forced to do so for health reasons.Advertising
6. They do not want to be nagged about attending social events.
Yes, the workaholic does feel guilt at times about neglecting family and social events. They really appreciate not being nagged about these because they just cannot establish the boundaries between home and work
7. They often have valid reasons for overworking.
Have you ever thought how inefficient and lazy colleagues can often force a person into being a workaholic? This is often ignored because most experts argue that the workaholic is making life difficult for everybody. They rarely think of the flipside.
8. They have powerful motivation.
How many people do you know who have a passion for their job? Workaholics always do and while it may be a substitution for negative emotions in their personal life, their dedication, motivation and passion for the job often goes unrecognized.
9. They are perfectionists.
Psychologists now tell us that perfectionism is the driving force most workaholics possess. They are constantly striving to bridge the gap between their wild expectations and their self-evaluation of how they actually performed. This is what propels them forward.Advertising
10. They have a different concept of relaxation.
If you ask a workaholic what his or her idea of relaxation is, you might be surprised at the answer. They will tell you that they love multi taking but above all, the fact of accomplishing a task and having 10 others lined up in the next few hours is their idea of relaxation.
11. Their views on money and happiness are skewed.
The workaholic is convinced that success and money will make their family happier. If they think this, they are mistaken. They probably have not read about research that shows families who make $5million a year are not any happier than those who earn $75,000.
12. They cannot text back.
As a loved one, you feel neglected. You think, why can’t she or he text back? The reality of the workaholic’s life is that they have meetings with clients or that they have 10 meetings back to back for the rest of the day. Lunch is skipped again and there no time even between meetings because they are talking to their boss.
13. They may be compensating for something else.
Work, ambition, motivation, promotion, and success. These are the recipes that drive them. But often, these are just symptoms of a deeper uneasiness in their emotional lives or maybe just a bad coping mechanism for dissatisfaction with their lives. Could you be the reason? It might be no harm to reflect on this.Advertising
14. They can benefit from working under pressure.
It is true that the longer you work, the less productive you become. But some workaholics thrive on stress as they find it gets the adrenaline flowing and that is at least a positive benefit. The ideal situation is to manage time better in order to make work more productive and satisfying.
15. They need total control.
It should be no surprise that the workaholic rarely delegates and when he or she does, they go through agony about whether it will be done properly. Another aspect of the desire for total control is that their smartphone will never leave their side. Yes, they take it to bed too!
Now that you know what a makes a workaholic tick, you can just sit back and wait until he or she realizes that work is just one part of life.
Featured photo credit: Hands Typing On Laptop With Smartphone And Coffee via stokpic.com
Last Updated on September 18, 2020
13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way
For the original article by Celestine: 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way
“We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different.” ~Unknown
“It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” – Hans Selye
Have you ever experienced moments when things just don’t go your way? For example, losing your keys, accidentally spilling your drink, waking up late, missing your buses/trains, forgetting to bring your things, and so on?
You’re not alone. All of us, myself included, experience times when things don’t go as we expect.
Here is my guide on how to deal with daily setbacks.
1. Take a step back and evaluate
When something bad happens, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Some questions to ask yourself:
- What is the problem?
- Are you the only person facing this problem in the world today?
- How does this problem look like at an individual level? A national level? On a global scale?
- What’s the worst possible thing that can happen to you as a result of this?
- How is it going to impact your life in the next 1 year? 5 years? 10 years?
Doing this exercise is not to undermine the problem or disclaiming responsibility, but to consider different perspectives, so you can adopt the best approach for it. Most problems we encounter daily may seem like huge issues when they crop up, but most, if not all, don’t have much impact in our life beyond that day.
2. Vent if you have to, but don’t linger on the problem
If you feel very frustrated and need to let off some steam, go ahead and do that. Talk to a friend, complain, crib about it, or scream at the top of your lungs if it makes you happy.
At the same time, don’t get caught up with venting. While venting may temporarily relieve yourself, it’s not going to solve the problem ultimately. You don’t want to be an energy vampire.
Vent if there’s a need to, but do it for 15 to 20 minutes. Then move on.
3. Realize there are others out there facing this too
Even though the situation may be frustrating, you’re not alone. Remember there are almost 7 billion people in the world today, and chances are that other people have faced the same thing before too. Knowing it’s not just you helps you to get out of a self-victimizing mindset.
4. Process your thoughts/emotions
Process your thoughts/emotions with any of the four methods:
- Journal. Write your unhappiness in a private diary or in your blog. It doesn’t have to be formal at all – it can be a brain dump on rough paper or new word document. Delete after you are done.
- Audio taping. Record yourself as you talk out what’s on your mind. Tools include tape recorder, your PC (Audacity is a freeware for recording/editing audio) and your mobile (most mobiles today have audio recording functions). You can even use your voice mail for this. Just talking helps you to gain awareness of your emotions. After recording, play back and listen to what you said. You might find it quite revealing.
- Meditation. At its simplest form, meditation is just sitting/lying still and observing your reality as it is – including your thoughts and emotions. Some think that it involves some complex mambo-jumbo, but it doesn’t.
- Talking to someone. Talking about it with someone helps you work through the issue. It also gets you an alternate viewpoint and consider it from a different angle.
5. Acknowledge your thoughts
Don’t resist your thoughts, but acknowledge them. This includes both positive and negative thoughts.
By acknowledging, I mean recognizing these thoughts exist. So if say, you have a thought that says, “Wow, I’m so stupid!”, acknowledge that. If you have a thought that says, “I can’t believe this is happening to me again”, acknowledge that as well.
Know that acknowledging the thoughts doesn’t mean you agree with them. It’s simply recognizing the existence of said thoughts so that you can stop resisting yourself and focus on the situation on hand.
6. Give yourself a break
If you’re very stressed out by the situation, and the problem is not time sensitive, then give yourself a break. Take a walk, listen to some music, watch a movie, or get some sleep. When you’re done, you should feel a lot more revitalized to deal with the situation.
7. Uncover what you’re really upset about
A lot of times, the anger we feel isn’t about the world. You may start off feeling angry at someone or something, but at the depth of it, it’s anger toward yourself.
Uncover the root of your anger. I have written a five part anger management series on how to permanently overcome anger.
After that, ask yourself: How can you improve the situation? Go to Step #9, where you define your actionable steps. Our anger comes from not having control on the situation. Sitting there and feeling infuriated is not going to change the situation. The more action we take, the more we will regain control over the situation, the better we will feel.
8. See this as an obstacle to be overcome
As Helen Keller once said,
“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.”
Whatever you’re facing right now, see it as an obstacle to be overcome. In every worthy endeavor, there’ll always be countless obstacles that emerge along the way. These obstacles are what separate the people who make it, and those who don’t. If you’re able to push through and overcome them, you’ll emerge a stronger person than before. It’ll be harder for anything to get you down in the future.
9. Analyze the situation – Focus on actionable steps
In every setback, there are going to be things that can’t be reversed since they have already occurred. You want to focus on things that can still be changed (salvageable) vs. things that have already happened and can’t be changed. The only time the situation changes is when you take steps to improve it. Rather than cry over spilt milk, work through your situation:
- What’s the situation?
- What’s stressing you about this situation?
- What are the next steps that’ll help you resolve them?
- Take action on your next steps!
After you have identified your next steps, act on them. The key here is to focus on the actionable steps, not the inactionable steps. It’s about regaining control over the situation through direct action.
10. Identify how it occurred (so it won’t occur again next time)
A lot of times we react to our problems. The problem occurs, and we try to make the best out of what has happened within the context. While developing a healthy coping mechanism is important (which is what the other helping points are on), it’s also equally important, if not more, to understand how the problem arose. This way, you can work on preventing it from taking place next time, vs. dealing reactively with it.
Most of us probably think the problem is outside of our control, but reality is most of the times it’s fully preventable. It’s just a matter of how much responsibility you take over the problem.
For example, for someone who can’t get a cab for work in the morning, he/she may see the problem as a lack of cabs in the country, or bad luck. However, if you trace to the root of the problem, it’s probably more to do with (a) Having unrealistic expectations of the length of time to get a cab. He/she should budget more time for waiting for a cab next time. (b) Oversleeping, because he/she was too tired from working late the previous day. He/she should allocate enough time for rest next time. He/she should also pick up better time management skills, so as to finish work in lesser time.
11. Realize the situation can be a lot worse
No matter how bad the situation is, it can always be much worse. A plus point vs. negative point analysis will help you realize that.
12. Do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it
No matter how bad your situation may seem, do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it. Life is too beautiful to worry so much over daily issues. Take a step back (#1), give yourself a break if you need to (#6), and do what you can within your means (#9). Everything else will unfold accordingly. Worrying too much about the outcome isn’t going to change things or make your life any better.
13. Pick out the learning points from the encounter
There’s something to learn from every encounter. What have you learned from this situation? What lessons have you taken away?
After you identify your learning points, think about how you’re going to apply them moving forward. With this, you’ve clearly gained something from this encounter. You’ve walked away a stronger, wiser, better person, with more life lessons to draw from in the future.
Get the manifesto version of this article: [Manifesto] What To Do When Things Don’t Go Your Way
Featured photo credit: Alice Donovan Rouse via unsplash.com