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15 Things to Remember If You Love A Workaholic

15 Things to Remember If You Love A Workaholic

“I’m the true definition of a workaholic.” – Kim Kardashian

If you love a workaholic, there is little point in going into a sulk or making life even more difficult for your loved one. You know that a workaholic is more likely to have health and work-life balance problems, so there is no need to stress over it. Here are 15 things to remember about workaholics.

1. They are addicted to work.

The problem for the typical workaholic is that they are totally convinced that unless they are super productive, their sense of self-worth plummets. The cure is worse than the disease. It is often difficult to pinpoint what constitutes workaholism. But it is described as an addiction.

2. They thrive on work.

They know that they are risking health problems but the buzz they get from juggling multiple projects is like nothing else on earth. When they are away from their desk they feel uneasy and fidgety.

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“I’m a bit of a workaholic. When I feel like I’m not doing something, it drives me insane.” – Ashley Greene.

3. They panic about holidays.

The idea of leaving for a holiday throws them into a panic. Separation from work could lead to a breakdown, rather than a complete rest, they feel.

4. They believe in the work ethic.

The work ethic is as strong as ever. What people fail to realize is that modern technology has made it even more difficult to devalue this. Unplugging from work is now almost impossible because of smartphones and other hi-tech gadgets which help the workaholic feed his habit relentlessly.

5. They have no plans to retire.

While most of us dream of doing nothing and getting up late when we retire, the workaholic never even entertains the idea of retiring from work. They feel there is no compelling reason to go into retirement unless actually forced to do so for health reasons.

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6. They do not want to be nagged about attending social events.

Yes, the workaholic does feel guilt at times about neglecting family and social events. They really appreciate not being nagged about these because they just cannot establish the boundaries between home and work

7. They often have valid reasons for overworking.

Have you ever thought how inefficient and lazy colleagues can often force a person into being a workaholic? This is often ignored because most experts argue that the workaholic is making life difficult for everybody. They rarely think of the flipside.

8. They have powerful motivation.

How many people do you know who have a passion for their job? Workaholics always do and while it may be a substitution for negative emotions in their personal life, their dedication, motivation and passion for the job often goes unrecognized.

9. They are perfectionists.

Psychologists now tell us that perfectionism is the driving force most workaholics possess. They are constantly striving to bridge the gap between their wild expectations and their self-evaluation of how they actually performed. This is what propels them forward.

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10. They have a different concept of relaxation.

If you ask a workaholic what his or her idea of relaxation is, you might be surprised at the answer. They will tell you that they love multi taking but above all, the fact of accomplishing a task and having 10 others lined up in the next few hours is their idea of relaxation.

11. Their views on money and happiness are skewed.

The workaholic is convinced that success and money will make their family happier. If they think this, they are mistaken. They probably have not read about research that shows families who make $5million a year are not any happier than those who earn $75,000.

12. They cannot text back.

As a loved one, you feel neglected. You think, why can’t she or he text back? The reality of the workaholic’s life is that they have meetings with clients or that they have 10 meetings back to back for the rest of the day. Lunch is skipped again and there no time even between meetings because they are talking to their boss.

13. They may be compensating for something else.

Work, ambition, motivation, promotion, and success. These are the recipes that drive them. But often, these are just symptoms of a deeper uneasiness in their emotional lives or maybe just a bad coping mechanism for dissatisfaction with their lives. Could you be the reason? It might be no harm to reflect on this.

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14. They can benefit from working under pressure.

It is true that the longer you work, the less productive you become. But some workaholics thrive on stress as they find it gets the adrenaline flowing and that is at least a positive benefit. The ideal situation is to manage time better in order to make work more productive and satisfying.

15. They need total control.

It should be no surprise that the workaholic rarely delegates and when he or she does, they go through agony about whether it will be done properly. Another aspect of the desire for total control is that their smartphone will never leave their side. Yes, they take it to bed too!

Now that you know what a makes a workaholic tick, you can just sit back and wait until he or she realizes that work is just one part of life.

Featured photo credit: Hands Typing On Laptop With Smartphone And Coffee via stokpic.com

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Robert Locke

Author of Ziger the Tiger Stories, a health enthusiast specializing in relationships, life improvement and mental health.

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Last Updated on January 15, 2019

What Are Interpersonal Skills? Master Them for Better Relationships

What Are Interpersonal Skills? Master Them for Better Relationships

When I wrote my book Extraordinary PR, Ordinary Budget: A Strategy Guide, I was surprised at the various layers of review and editing necessary to get the book to publication. Before I ever submitted the manuscript, I enlisted a former colleague to read and copy edit my work. Then, I submitted my work to an editor at the publisher’s house, and once she approved it, she sent it to her colleagues and then her company’s editorial board.

Upon editorial board approval of my book, my editor sent my work to reviewers in my field, then a developmental editor, then a designer and layout team and, finally, another copy editor. There were a host of personalities with whom I needed to interact along the way.

It turns out that getting a publishing contract was just the beginning – a lot happens between developing a concept, writing the book, finding an agent and publisher, and getting the book on bookshelves or on Audible or Kindle. Through every milestone of the publishing process, my ability to interact with others was crucial. This underscored for me that no matter what or how much a person accomplishes, you never do it alone – everyone needs assistance from others.

While I conceived of the book and wrote the manuscript, there is no way my book could have hit booksellers’ shelves without the dozens of people who were involved in the publishing process. Further, interpersonal skills can propel or stonewall success.

Even as someone who has written hundreds of essays, press releases, pitch notes and other correspondence, writing itself is not a solitary endeavor. Sure, I may write in solitude, but the moment I am finished writing, there are always clients, colleagues, partners, peers and others who review my content.

What is more, even as a published author and contributor for this platform, I try to never submit final copy (content) that has not been copy edited. I send everything to my copy editor, whom I pay out of my own pocket, for her review, edits and approval. Once she has reviewed my work, caught unbeknownst-to-me errors, I am much more confident putting my work out in the world.

How Interpersonal Skills Affect Relationships

It is clearer to me now more than ever before that interpersonal skills are needed in every profession and every trade.

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People don’t elect leaders because the leaders are smart. Individuals are motivated to vote when they have a hero and when they feel they have something to lose. If they seriously dislike the other candidate, they are much more likely vote according to a 2000 Ohio State University study:

“A disliked candidate is seen as a threat, and that will be motivation to go to the polls. But a threat alone isn’t enough – people need to have a hero to vote for, too, in order to inspire them to turn out on Election Day.”

In a work setting, interpersonal skills impact every facet of your development and success. Trainers must collaborate with a design team or the company hiring them to facilitate the training. During the training itself, the facilitators must connect with the audience and establish a rapport that supports vulnerability and openness. If the trainers interact poorly with the trainees, they are unlikely to be invited back. If they are invited back, they may be unlikely to inspire cooperation or growth in their trainees.

Solopreneurs interactions with clients and subcontractors, and those interactions will, in part, support or adversely impact their business. If you enjoy a career as an acclaimed surgeon or respected lawyer, your interactions with patients, clients, health insurance agencies and a team of other practitioners – many of whom are shielded from public view – will improve or decimate your practice.

As a hiring manager, one of the things I consider when interviewing candidates is their interpersonal skills. I assess the interpersonal skills they display in their content and face-to-face presentation. I ask probing questions to learn how they interact with others, manage conflict and contribute to a team atmosphere.

When candidates say things like, “I prefer to work alone” or “I can hit the ground running without assistance,” I bristle. When candidates appear to know everything and everyone, I wonder if they will be receptive to learning or open to feedback. Could these statements be indications that these individuals lack interpersonal skills?

It stands to reason, then, that interpersonal skills are among the most valuable and the bedrock of all talents and skills.

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What are Interpersonal Skills?

Interpersonal skills range from emotional intelligence, empathy, oral and written communication to leadership to collaboration and teamwork.

In sum, interpersonal skills are skills that enable you to interact well with others. They include teachability and receptiveness to feedback, active or mindful listening, self-confidence and conflict resolution.

From a communications standpoint, interpersonal skills are about understanding how colleagues prefer to communicate and then using the appropriate mediums to meet respective needs. It is about understanding how to communicate in a way to get the most out of different people.

For instance, in my career as a public relations practitioner, part of what I am constantly evaluating is which colleagues, clients and members of the media prefer email, text or phone calls. I am assessing how much frill to use with each person depending on what has worked in the past and depending on what I know about the person with whom I am interacting.

Making these decisions and being disciplined enough to follow each person’s known preferences helps me better connect with the various individuals in my orbit. Is this tiring at times? Yes. Is it necessary? Absolutely.

How to Improve Interpersonal Skills

There are tons of resources to teach interpersonal skills. I love books such as Leadership Presence by Belle Linda Halpern and Kathy Lubar, and The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman.

There are also a host of books and articles on emotional intelligence, which is the ability to manage one’s emotions and perceive and adapt to others’ emotions. Emotional intelligence is likewise a critical component of positive interpersonal relations. You can learn more about it in this article: What Is Emotional Intelligence and Why It Is Important

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Active and mindful listening also support improved interpersonal skills. I recommend you take a look at this piece: Active Listening – A Skill That Everyone Should Master

I have further found that humility helps a ton with interpersonal skills. It takes humility to admit you have more to learn and that you can learn from the people around you. In fact, everyone with whom you interact has a lesson to teach you. And employers are increasingly looking for team members who are lifelong learners, meaning they believe there is always room for growth and professional and personal development.

Forbes contributor Kevin H. Johnson noted in a July 2018 article,

“That’s why, when anyone asks what the next ‘hot’ skill will be, I say it’s the same skill that will serve people today, tomorrow, and far into the future—the ability to learn.”

Don’t overlook introspection.

While interpersonal skills may seem simple enough, introspection is critical to learning where and in what ways you need to grow.

Through introspection and observation, I have learned that my interpersonal skills suffer when I am sleep deprived, because then I am short-tempered and irritable. I’ve observed this connection over a significant period in my life. Unsurprisingly, it is also true of others. Fellow LifeHack contributor, health coach and personal trainer Jamie Logie noted:

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When you are chronically sleep deprived, it really does a number on you. A lack of sleep can keep your body in a constant state of stress and over time this can get pretty ugly. Elevated stress hormones can be involved in creating a bunch of pretty nasty conditions including anxiety, headaches and dizziness, weight gain, depression, stroke, hypertension, digestive disorders, immune system dysfunction, irritability.

Additionally, the Eunice Kennedy Shriver National Institute of Child Health and Human Development reported,

“Sleep deprivation can noticeably affect people’s performance, including their ability to think clearly, react quickly, and form memories. Sleep deprivation also affects mood, leading to irritability; problems with relationships, especially for children and teenagers; and depression. Sleep deprivation can also increase anxiety.”

The point is, even as you are identifying ways to improve interpersonal skills, think about what is getting in the way. While sleep deprivation is a trigger for me, your stumbling block may be different.

The Bottom Line

You cannot fix what you do not know is broken. Even as you work to understand and apply interpersonal skills, spend some time in mindful meditation to get clear on what is holding you back from developing solid relationships.

Featured photo credit: Austin Distel via unsplash.com

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