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15 Things Parents Don’t Need To Feel Guilty About

15 Things Parents Don’t Need To Feel Guilty About

Do you ever feel guilty about your parenting skills? Many parents berate themselves for the little things, even when they are doing a great job of raising a child.

Parents are not robots – here are 15 things parents don’t need to feel guilty about.

1. Letting Your Child Watch TV

Although you like the idea of raising your child without television, you’re not sure when you’d ever get anything done. The peaceful half an hour while your child watches cartoons is one of the only chances you get to clean the house – and it’s a total godsend. Don’t feel guilty about it.

2. Enjoying Your Job

Loving your child doesn’t have to mean you have to always hate being apart from them. Before you had a child, it is likely you felt passionate and invested in your job. Having a child doesn’t change that, and you don’t need to feel guilty about enjoying your work – you simply have something else in your life that you love and adore.

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3. Having Secret Treats For Yourself

Being a parent is extremely rewarding and fun, but it can also be difficult and tiring. So if you love expensive chocolate, treat yourself – and feel free to keep it at the back of the cupboard, hidden behind supermarket brand chocolate. You’re doing a great job, and you deserve it!

4. Needing Alone Time When Your Children Are Awake

Having a child often means you don’t get much time alone, but giving birth doesn’t mean you have to sign away all of your rights to privacy. After a hard day, it’s okay to shut your bedroom door for half an hour so you can read a good book – you’re still right there if your children need you.

5. Taking A Vacation With Your Friends Or Family

Every parent needs the occasional break, and a short trip away can rejuvenate you and leave you feeling amazing. You know your children would hate to stay in a spa for a few days (the other guests probably wouldn’t enjoy it, either), so lie back and enjoy your back massage, safe in the knowledge your children are probably being spoiled rotten by their grandparents.

6. Worrying About Your Child’s Development

Parents can often become competitive when talking to other parents about their children, which can make you feel competitive, too – and then guilty later!
From potty training to your child still sucking their thumb, try not to feel guilty that you’re worried about your child’s development. You’re doing fine as a parent, and your child will naturally develop at their own pace.

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7. Not Volunteering At Your Child’s School

Every day you make sure your child is dressed, fed, clean and happy – and this is a huge accomplishment in itself! It can take the whole day, too; you have no idea how other parents factor in time to hand out folders or snacks at school.

8. Yelling at Your Child When They Haven’t Done Anything Wrong

At some point as a parent – probably after a particularly long and stressful day, you may find yourself raising your voice with your child, even though they don’t deserve it. It’s very hard not to feel guilty about this, but you are only human, and it can be a useful opportunity to explain to your child that even parents make mistakes sometimes.

9. Feeding Your Child Junk Food

Many parents feel guilty about feeding their child junk food, but after a stressful day sometimes the drive-through is the best option for both you and your kids. Many parents use junk food as an occasional treat for their children; don’t forget that it isn’t poisonous, it just isn’t very nutritious! As long as you don’t make it a daily occurrence, let yourself off the hook for this.

10. Giving In To Your Children

Every so often you will surrender to your children and give them whatever they want – normally so you can have ten minutes of peace and quiet. You normally stick to your guns, so don’t feel guilty that you occasionally give in; it helps to keep you sane!

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11. Letting Your Parents Or Partner Take Your Children To Places You Don’t Like

Theme parks, swimming pools and Disney concerts are busy, filled with queues, and really loud. For you it is a nightmare, but for your children it is heaven – as well as a great childhood memory.
You don’t need to feel guilty if you occasionally miss these events; you know you’ll never miss any important event in their lives.

12. Being Unable To Afford Expensive Extras

Some parents are lucky enough to be able to send their children to music lessons and ballet classes, but that isn’t the most important part of being a parent. Try not to feel guilty about this one; the most important thing to give your child is love.

There are also lots of free and cheap ways to benefit your child, such as local parks and libraries.

13. Looking Forward To Your Child Going To Bed

Never feel guilty about looking forward to some alone time with a glass of wine – everyone deserves time alone, even parents! Don’t forget that this morning you were probably looking forward to spending the evening hearing about your child’s day.

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14. Finding Some Parts Of Being A Parent Tiresome

You love your child, and sometimes you are taken aback by the funny, intelligent and beautiful little person you have made. However, you still find it irritating that you have told your child at least 200 times to put their clothes in the laundry basket.

15. Throwing Away Old School Projects

There are some paintings your child has done that you will cherish forever, and are priceless to you. The only thing is, your child comes home from school with about ten different arty creations every week; if you kept them all, your house could star in an episode of Horders.

Featured photo credit: Young mother and father with newborn via shutterstock.com

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Amy Johnson

Amy is a writer who blogs about relationships and lifestyle advice.

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Last Updated on April 14, 2021

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

Expressing Anger

Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

Being Passive-Aggressive

This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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Poorly-Timed

Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

Ongoing Anger

Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

Healthy Ways to Express Anger

What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

Being Honest

Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

Being Direct

Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

Being Timely

When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

How to Deal With Anger

If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

1. Slow Down

From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

2. Focus on the “I”

Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

3. Work out

When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

If you’re not sure where to start with an exercise routine, check out Lifehack’s free Simple Cardio Home Workout Plan.

4. Seek Help When Needed

There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

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5. Practice Relaxation

We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

6. Laugh

Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

7. Be Grateful

It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

Final Thoughts

Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

More Resources on Anger Management

Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

Reference

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