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15 Things Only Parents Of More Than One Child Would Understand

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15 Things Only Parents Of More Than One Child Would Understand

Children are truly amazing, but being in charge of more than one at any given time can be a genuine challenge. If you are a parent of more than one kid, you know what was difficult with one can snowball into quite an adventure with multiples! But you’ve gained some real insight into parenthood on your journey. You go you! Here are a few things parents with more than one kid learn through the experience:

1. You know calendars make for sane parents

When your kids hit the after school activity age, thing get busy in a hurry. Your daughter has ballet, softball, and karate while your son needs to get to his music lessons, basketball practice and his volunteer project at the animal shelter. Add all your regular shopping needs and the PTA meeting you’re hosting, and you have got to keep a ton of stuff organized. The solution? Break out the planner. Whatever calendar system you use, you love it and know that its the key to the land of sanity.

2. You realize sleep is a precious commodity

Keeping up with one kiddo can really drain you. This is especially true when your offspring are very young. Add a toddler to the household of a newborn and suddenly parents start to forget what sleep can feel like. But oh, when they find a moment to snooze it can be so wonderful.

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3. You understand the value of a giggle fest

While the kids may make you tired, they are also so darn cute. The silly things they do can induce a big laugh which can lead the whole group into bursts of laughter! As your kids and you are laughing hysterically, you realize just how awesome your life is.

4. You know how to prioritize happiness over task lists

With multiple kids, you simply can’t get everything done everyday. In order to stay clam and happy, you’ve learned how to determine what things are most important and what things can wait for another day. While the trash really needs to find its way to the dumpster, that pan from dinner really can wait. After all, tonight is simply better spent watching Toy Story with your daughters.

5. You are filled with joy when your kids play together

One of the best parts of having more than one child is seeing them interact. Sure this can seem negative when they are pulling each other’s hair and playing tag in the aisles of the grocery store, but in those moments where they are sharing their favorite toy and laughing together at the silly cartoon, you know that this is what its all about. Nothing can fill the heart faster than watching two of your kids be kind to each other.

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6. You know how to work the relatives for babysitting

When its your turn to go to a grown-up event, you see a perfect opportunity to squeeze in some grandma, niece, or cousin quality time. These little bundles of joy won’t be little forever, so why not pull in some trusted relatives to enjoy the journey. Plus, family baby sitters tend to come with a nice discount. Score!

7. You love buying in bulk

Trips to the grocery store become more complicated with several kids. Fortunately, buying in bulk decreases the number of trips dramatically. Who wants to spend time walking through the laundry soap aisle when you could be having princess tea time with your kids?

8. You realize little people can create a lot of mess

Even though you may only have a family of four or five, the amount of dirt and mess generated can get out of hand quickly. Just because your kids are small that does not mean your cleaning regiment is small. But, that’s ok. Cleaning up a bit seems like a small price for all the laughs and joy of taking care of this family.

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9. You’ve got packing lunch down to a system

When the kiddos reach school age, they need some lunch to take with them. When you’ve got multiples to prep, you’ve got to make sure nothing gets left behind. To get everyone ready, you’ve got the lunch boxes ready and a tried and true system to fill them.

10. You drop some knowledge when your single child friends complain

For every problem a parent with one child has, a parent with multiple kids gets those issues compounded. Trouble getting the house clean, try multiplying that by twice the number of kids. Issues with scheduling play dates, try doubling the headache. Single child parents are cute, but they don’t even know. Fortunately, you are here to help them out.

11. You know it gets easier by the second or third child

With your first child you were stressing out about everything from getting the bottle to the right temperature to what kind of music he or she fell asleep to. By kid number two or three, you’ve got all that stuff figured out. You know what is worth your mental energy and what isn’t.

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12. You love going to the park

The kids get to run around, and you get to sit and supervise. Sure you may be called in to repair a boo boo or provide a snack refuel, but really you just get some time to relax while the kids get rid of their pent up energy. Your relaxation time is made all the sweeter knowing they will sleep well tonight.

13. You know not to play favorites

That one time you gave your daughter a slightly bigger piece of candy than your son made this situation very clear. You spend time making sure each child understands they are loved and equally special. You can see the stress playing favorites can cause, and you work hard to prevent it.

14. You buy toys in multiples

If one child gets a toy, its important that the other child receives something as well. So long as the kids preferences for toys are similar, the best choice is to buy in multiples. This keeps everyone on an even level and makes your life in the toy department a lot simpler.

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15. You love story time

Reading stories to your kids is the best. Not only do we get the opportunity to snuggle, but watching their imagination take flight while engaging with literature is truly special. If you had your way, you would have story time all the time. Bonus- the kiddos often nap after their literary adventures!

Featured photo credit: gellert via pixabay.com

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Last Updated on November 18, 2021

10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

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10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

  • honest
  • reliable
  • competent
  • kind and compassionate
  • capable of taking the blame
  • able to persevere
  • modest and humble
  • pacific and can control anger.

The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

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But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

“The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

Abigail Van Buren

3. How does this person take the blame?

Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

5. Read their emails.

Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

  • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
  • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
  • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
  • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
  • Too many question marks can show anger
  • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

6. Watch out for the show offs.

Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

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Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

8. Their empathy score is high.

Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

“One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

Stendhal

 10. Avoid toxic people.

These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

  • Envy or jealousy
  • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
  • Complaining about their own lack of success
  • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
  • Obsession with themselves and their problems

Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

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