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15 Things Happy Couples Talk About That Draw Them Closer Together

15 Things Happy Couples Talk About That Draw Them Closer Together

The more you get to know a person, the easier it becomes to run out of things to say. That doesn’t mean it’s okay to give your partner the silent treatment. Without intellectual stimulation, your relationship will quickly grow stagnant. If you’re in need of a new conversation starter, try out one of these fifteen things happy couples talk about.

1. They talk about vivid memories.

Are there any memories that you can recall so vividly that you feel like it was yesterday? It could be something funny like the time you got busted making out on a Ferris wheel, or something romantic – like your surprise trip to a bed and breakfast. Reminiscing about your greatest hits will help you remember why your relationship is so special.

2. They reminisce about their childhoods.

Snuggle up on the sofa with your partner and a photo album. Tell them a story about the photos that grab your attention (and don’t forget to ask them to do the same!).

3. They laugh at inside jokes.

Tell your partner about the silly little things that make you smile. An ability to make you laugh with nothing more than a glance. A pet name so adorable that it makes your friends groan. A tone of voice or physical attribute that sends your mind straight to a naughty place.

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4. They share their feelings.

It’s unfair to hold a grudge over an issue that you’re unwilling to discuss. Your partner doesn’t have psychic powers. Be upfront if you feel confused, neglected, or upset. Talking through your feelings will help you identify the root of the problem.

5. They deal with their problems.

If you’re a superhero, your partner is your trusted sidekick. Don’t be afraid to ask for their input when you face problems in your professional life. They might think of a brilliant solution that you never would have imagined by yourself.

6. They talk about their role models or heroes.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer isn’t just a fictional character in my mind. She is a personal hero whose story helped me through some difficult times when I was a teenager. If you want to learn something interesting, ask your partner about their role-models or pop culture heroes.

7. They tell stories about embarrassing situations.

Slip on a puddle and fall on your butt? Forget about it. Blurt out an awkward comment that makes you blush? Laugh it off. These little things aren’t worth your concern. Turn an awkward situation into a comedic moment by telling your partner a funny story about it.

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8. They discuss about difficult decisions.

Big decisions like choosing a honeymoon destination, how much to save for your retirement, and where to send your children to school should be discussed in depth. Don’t delay. Procrastinating will only make your life more stressful, since you’ll have less time to deliberate.

9. They debate on world events.

Healthy debates about world events will keep your mind sharp. It’s human nature to be stubborn, so I doubt you’ll change your mind. But you’ll come away with a better understanding of why your partner believes the things they do, helping you grow closer.

10. They discuss about the little things.

You don’t need an earth-shattering idea to start a conversation. All you have to do is observe something interesting, point it out, and ask your partner a related question. To test this theory, take your partner to the mall and see how many things you can observe. It’ll be fun!

11. They confess their struggles.

You’re not kidding anybody when you tell your partner, “Nothing is the matter.” There is nothing strong about choosing to fight your battles alone. Humble yourself. Ask for help (maybe just a hug?). A tight squeeze and listening ear can make any situation seem more bearable.

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12. They share their ambitions.

It’s unhealthy to become completely dependent on another person for your happiness. Tell your partner about the ambitions you have that don’t involve your relationship. You’ll be able to keep each other encouraged while you pursue the things that captivate your interest.

13. They give each other honest feedback.

Communication is often the difference between a successful relationship and a rotten one. Being able to provide direction to your partner about the things that turn you on (and off) during a romantic romp, for example, will make a big difference in the quality of your sex life.

14. They admit their shortcomings.

It is okay to make an honest mistake, but it’s not okay to pretend it didn’t happen. If you do something inconsiderate or hurtful, admit your fault. Don’t judge yourself, but do explain yourself. Address the character flaws responsible for the poor behavior to strengthen your relationship.

15. They talk about their future together.

Happy couples plan ahead so they don’t run into unpleasant surprises. If you don’t express how much you want to have a family, you could get attached to a person who has no interest in having children. Compatibility isn’t guaranteed to be a permanent thing. Periodically ask your partner detailed questions about their future to make sure you have a place in it.

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Happy couples communicate (that is the important part!). What would you add to this list? Tell us in the comments!

Featured photo credit: series. a love story. couple runs in the wheat field and smiling. summer. via shutterstock.com

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Daniel Wallen

Daniel is a writer who focuses on blogging about happiness and motivation at Lifehack.

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Last Updated on December 3, 2019

10 Life Lessons You’d Better Learn Early on in Life

10 Life Lessons You’d Better Learn Early on in Life

There are so many lessons I wish I had learned while I was young enough to appreciate and apply them. The thing with wisdom, and often with life lessons in general, is that they’re learned in retrospect, long after we needed them. The good news is that other people can benefit from our experiences and the lessons we’ve learned.

Here’re 10 important life lessons you should learn early on:

1. Money Will Never Solve Your Real Problems

Money is a tool; a commodity that buys you necessities and some nice “wants,” but it is not the panacea to your problems.

There are a great many people who are living on very little, yet have wonderfully full and happy lives… and there are sadly a great many people are living on quite a lot, yet have terribly miserable lives.

Money can buy a nice home, a great car, fabulous shoes, even a bit of security and some creature comforts, but it cannot fix a broken relationship, or cure loneliness, and the “happiness” it brings is only fleeting and not the kind that really and truly matters. Happiness is not for sale. If you’re expecting the “stuff” you can buy to “make it better,” you will never be happy.

2. Pace Yourself

Often when we’re young, just beginning our adult journey we feel as though we have to do everything at once. We need to decide everything, plan out our lives, experience everything, get to the top, find true love, figure out our life’s purpose, and do it all at the same time.

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Slow down—don’t rush into things. Let your life unfold. Wait a bit to see where it takes you, and take time to weigh your options. Enjoy every bite of food, take time to look around you, let the other person finish their side of the conversation. Allow yourself time to think, to mull a bit.

Taking action is critical. Working towards your goals and making plans for the future is commendable and often very useful, but rushing full-speed ahead towards anything is a one-way ticket to burnout and a good way to miss your life as it passes you by.

3. You Can’t Please Everyone

“I don’t know the secret to success, but the secret to failure is trying to please everyone” – Bill Cosby.

You don’t need everyone to agree with you or even like you. It’s human nature to want to belong, to be liked, respected and valued, but not at the expense of your integrity and happiness. Other people cannot give you the validation you seek. That has to come from inside.

Speak up, stick to your guns, assert yourself when you need to, demand respect, stay true to your values.

4. Your Health Is Your Most Valuable Asset

Health is an invaluable treasure—always appreciate, nurture, and protect it. Good health is often wasted on the young before they have a chance to appreciate it for what it’s worth.

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We tend to take our good health for granted, because it’s just there. We don’t have to worry about it, so we don’t really pay attention to it… until we have to.

Heart disease, bone density, stroke, many cancers—the list of many largely preventable diseases is long, so take care of your health now, or you’ll regret it later on.

5. You Don’t Always Get What You Want

“Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.” – John Lennon

No matter how carefully you plan and how hard you work, sometimes things just don’t work out the way you want them to… and that’s okay.

We have all of these expectations; predetermined visions of what our “ideal” life will look like, but all too often, that’s not the reality of the life we end up with. Sometimes our dreams fail and sometimes we just change our minds mid-course. Sometimes we have to flop to find the right course and sometimes we just have to try a few things before we find the right direction.

6. It’s Not All About You

You are not the epicenter of the universe. It’s very difficult to view the world from a perspective outside of your own, since we are always so focused on what’s happening in our own lives. What do I have to do today? What will this mean for me, for my career, for my life? What do I want?

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It’s normal to be intensely aware of everything that’s going on in your own life, but you need to pay as much attention to what’s happening around you, and how things affect other people in the world as you do to your own life. It helps to keep things in perspective.

7. There’s No Shame in Not Knowing

No one has it all figured out. Nobody has all the answers. There’s no shame in saying “I don’t know.” Pretending to be perfect doesn’t make you perfect. It just makes you neurotic to keep up the pretense of manufactured perfection.

We have this idea that there is some kind of stigma or shame in admitting our limitations or uncertainly, but we can’t possibly know everything. We all make mistakes and mess up occasionally. We learn as we go, that’s life.

Besides—nobody likes a know-it-all. A little vulnerability makes you human and oh so much more relatable.

8. Love Is More Than a Feeling; It’s a Choice

That burst of initial exhilaration, pulse quickening love and passion does not last long. But that doesn’t mean long-lasting love is not possible.

Love is not just a feeling; it’s a choice that you make every day. We have to choose to let annoyances pass, to forgive, to be kind, to respect, to support, to be faithful.

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Relationships take work. Sometimes it’s easy and sometimes it’s incredibly hard. It is up to us to choose how we want to act, think and speak in a relationship.

9. Perspective Is a Beautiful Thing

Typically, when we’re worried or upset, it’s because we’ve lost perspective. Everything that is happening in our lives seems so big, so important, so do or die, but in the grand picture, this single hiccup often means next to nothing.

The fight we’re having, the job we didn’t get, the real or imagined slight, the unexpected need to shift course, the thing we wanted, but didn’t get. Most of it won’t matter 20, 30, 40 years from now. It’s hard to see long term when all you know is short term, but unless it’s life-threatening, let it go, and move on.

10. Don’t Take Anything for Granted

We often don’t appreciate what we have until it’s gone: that includes your health, your family and friends, your job, the money you have or think you will have tomorrow.

When you’re young, it seems that your parents will always be there, but they won’t. You think you have plenty of time to get back in touch with your old friends or spend time with new ones, but you don’t. You have the money to spend, or you think you’ll have it next month, but you might not.

Nothing in your life is not guaranteed to be there tomorrow, including those you love.

This is a hard life lesson to learn, but it may be the most important of all: Life can change in an instant. Make sure you appreciate what you have, while you still have it.

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Featured photo credit: Ben Eaton via unsplash.com

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