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15 Struggles Only Perfectionists Would Understand

15 Struggles Only Perfectionists Would Understand

Being a perfectionist can come with its nightmares. It is not that it makes you less worthy, it is just that you can’t help reacting to anything below par in life. Perfectionism is not a healthy pursuit of excellence because it comes with struggles, self doubt and fears of disapproval. Perfectionism comes with several hazards such as anxiety and depression, and could be a trigger for suicide. Perfectionism has plagued celebrities like Martha Stewart, Reese Witherspoon and Barbara Streisand. As perfectionists, these are the struggles you all understand.

1.You find it difficult working in a group

Your standard of achieving goals is higher than other people’s. Thus you find it difficult working on group projects or with other people because you do not want their mediocrity or inefficiency to rub on your desire to attain perfectionism.

2.You are extremely conscious of deadlines

When you have to meet a deadline you are often burning the midnight oil or making sure you get things done in the nick of time. You have a sudden exciting rush to turn over something you are ultimately proud of. Whatever extra effort it requires doesn’t mean anything to you.

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3.You take everything to heart

Even when people make light or less thoughtful jokes at you, you tend to put in much thought to the casually poked fun. You tend to take everything to heart and such jokes could be a devastating blow to your psyche.

4.You overwork yourself because you want a perfect job

Many may not see what you have done in private, but you overwork yourself to be so flawless because you want only a perfect product on anything your name has to be attached on. This could portend a major health disaster, yet you are willing to take the risk.

5.Your past work is never good enough

Anytime you look back at your past work you tend to ask yourself, “What was I thinking back then?” You find it difficult to appreciate where you are now compared to where you were. Thus you are either throwing out old work projects or simply deleting them.

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6.You are bothered by little things

Seemingly little things like typos in an email, a Tweet or a Facebook posts from your boss can leave you disgusted. Even when your old pair of pants is darker than your new pair of blue pants, you are bothered and the rest of your day is clouded with bitterness.

7.You procrastinate

According to studies, perfectionists tend to procrastinate. When you have a big project you push it off until later, and when deadline approaches you try to execute a big project within a short time. Although perfectionism can push and motivate you with the fire to complete a good work, you only do this because you want an affirmation from others that you are great at what you do.

8.You always arrive early

You are always punctual and focused on beating every other person to being early. Yet when any other person is running late for as little as ten minutes, it drives you crazy to think about what you could be doing with such lost time rather than waiting.

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9.You think of yourself as lazy

You feel lazy because you have set such high standards and high expectations that executing and undertaking them takes longer than you planned for. And when such goals are not met, you ridicule yourself for not being good enough.

10.You take few chances

For you taking chances is tough. You don’t want to make mistakes and instead of finding reasons why you should engage in a task, you find reasons why you shouldn’t. You would only jump in on something if there is a guarantee on the outcome.

11.You are your own most severe critic

You criticize yourself so ruthlessly that it is difficult to accept criticism from others. This is because before others offer any criticism you would have recognized the issue long ago and pushed for a solution.

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12.You don’t feel accomplished until you see results

You are focused only on delivering a perfect outcome, and nothing should be short of that. If you are writing an article, it should be good enough to be a featured editorial. You don’t want shoddy, but you are focused on creating exceptional work. That is why you are spending more than the average time on improvements and details.

13. You are never a casual observer

Anything that engages you casually is not worth your time, whether it is reading a book or watching a TV show. You can’t even have a casual conversation with people about such forms of entertainment because their opinion will never be intrinsic enough.

14. You focus on efficiency

You want to make sure everything is done the right way and so you dedicate yourself to reading and studying about efficiency. If others are not efficient enough and they make a mistake, you are afraid to help because you don’t want to be seen as a know-it-all.

15. You feel like a slacker sometimes

When the day has been spent on trying to get one thing perfect, you feel like the day has been wasted. As much as you wish you could cross off five things from your to-do list you only end up crossing out one.

Featured photo credit: Roni Rosen via flickr.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on October 17, 2019

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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1. Recognize the Signs

If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

Some telltale signs include:

  • You’re always on your phones.
  • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
  • You aren’t together during important events.
  • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
  • You don’t make plans or date nights.
  • You’re not happy.

If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

2. Try New Things Together

Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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5. Cook Meals Together

Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

6. Have a Regular Date Night

Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

  • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
  • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
  • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
  • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
  • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
  • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
  • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

Final Thoughts

The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

  • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
  • Lowers divorce rates
  • Improves communication
  • Reduces marital boredom
  • Bonds couples closer
  • Improves friendship
  • Boosts health
  • Reduces stress

These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

Reference

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