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15 Signs You’re More Mature Than You Think

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15 Signs You’re More Mature Than You Think

There is a time in each person’s life where they grow up. Maturity does not come with age, it comes with experiences. Here are some indicators to show you that you are a lot more mature than you think.

1. You’ve found that the drama in your life is only on television.

Let’s face the facts here. There are a lot of toxic, dramatic and negative people in the world. You have finally realized that you don’t have time for that and have cut them out of your life. The only drama that is in your life now is on TV while you are doing laundry.

2. You’re relatively okay with change.

You finally get the fact that not everything is set in stone and are okay with it. Unless it’s your wedding, usually minor changes here and there do not bother you like they used to. You no longer go into a downward spiral of doom if your life takes another direction because more than likely, it was your choice.

We all have changed our minds on who we want to be, what we want to do, what we want to look like and where we want to live. Someone once said “life is not about finding yourself, it is about creating yourself.” There is no set road map to your life and you have gotten over that.

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3. You’ve realised that happily ever is hard work.

By now, you have probably realized that happily ever after is not the end of the story. It is the beginning and to keep it a happy relationship is hard work. You have accepted it as something more than singing a couple songs and trying on a glass slipper to find the love of your life.

You have accepted that there are people out there that are fake, mean, dishonest and smelly. More importantly, with the end of each relationship, you are no longer completely hopeless. You take it as a stepping stone and a lesson in what doesn’t work for you.

4. You’ve finally come to terms that the world does not revolve around you.

You have finally realized that the world is not under your control. Each and every individual on this earth has a life of their own to lead. More than likely, they cannot just drop whatever they are doing to assist you, just like you can’t do it for anyone else.

Sure there are family members and best friends but you are more considerate when asking for favors these days.

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5. Your parents don’t make you say sorry. You say it on your own and mean it.

At this point in life, you know that you have been wrong at least six million times. Okay, maybe not that much. When you are, you know when to apologize and admit that you are wrong. You work it out with the person you have hurt and move forward. If you are like me, apologizing is a huge step, so be proud.

6. You focus on the positive in life, by choice.

When something bad happens to you in life, you usually look on the bright side. You have come to accept that there is no use wallowing in your own misery because it does not fix anything. You have learned to take each awful thing that happens as an opportunity to learn.

7. You’ve noticed that family has become more important than friends.

Before, your friends were the most important thing in life. Family came in second and it was a chore hanging out with them. Now, you have a close circle of friends and many acquaintances, but you prefer to hang out with your mom on the weekend. You actually prefer the company of your family more than your friends at times.

8. You have applied a filter to most of your thoughts before they escape your mouth.

You realized that you need to filter your thoughts in most social gatherings. In fact, you should get a trophy for how many thoughts you kept in your head.

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9. You’re okay with being alone.

Being alone is therapeutic for you. It does not mean you are an outcast or that you hate people. It simply means that you don’t need another person to keep yourself occupied or happy.

10. You have caught yourself giving out your mom’s advice.

We all are guilty of it: rolling our eyes during a lecture from mom. Now, you find yourself giving your friend the very same lecture over an afternoon cup of coffee. You hate to admit it, but what she said is true and now you have finally accepted it.

11. Your career matters to you, even if it’s temporary.

You are responsible and take your job seriously. It doesn’t matter if its something you worked your whole life for or something to pay your way through classes, you make sure you do a good job. Each and every boss is an important voice on your resume when it comes to moving forward on your career path, so you take the time to do things right and efficiently.

12. You expect the best in life because you’ve worked so hard to get that outcome.

Everything you expect should leave you a 100% satisfied because you put 110% effort. You have learned the life lesson that nothing is handed to you, you need to work hard for what you want.

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13. You set aside time for yourself to do absolutely nothing.

You realize that you cannot completely work yourself to death, because what is a life you’ve worked so hard for if you cannot enjoy it? You have set aside time to enjoy some of a chapter in a book, to nap or to catch up on your favorite show. It isn’t being lazy, it is knowing when you need time to reset and relax.

14. You don’t find the need to get drunk on the weekends to have fun.

Your weekends don’t have to be filled with drunken adventures, a room full of sweaty dancing people or songs that are all about that bass. You are happy with a glass of wine and some good friends or a couple beers in a laid back pub. It doesn’t matter if you’re “turning down” for “what” or for Netflix, you can still have fun.

15. Materialistic things make you smile, but they do not define what happiness means.

Even though the occasion splurge makes you smile, its the little things in life that make you truly happy. You realize that the source of happiness is the little moments shared with the ones you love.

Featured photo credit: all in your hands via shutterstock.com

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More by this author

Margielyn Musser

Event And Volunteer Coordinator / World Traveler

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Last Updated on July 20, 2021

How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

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How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

You’re standing behind the curtain, just about to make your way on stage to face the many faces half-shrouded in darkness in front of you. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step. A familiar thump echoes throughout your body – your heartbeat has gone off the charts.

Don’t worry, you’re not the only one with glossophobia(also known as speech anxiety or the fear of speaking to large crowds). Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage.

Your body’s defence mechanism responds by causing a part of your brain to release adrenaline into your blood – the same chemical that gets released as if you were being chased by a lion.

Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you overcome your fear of public speaking:

1. Prepare yourself mentally and physically

According to experts, we’re built to display anxiety and to recognize it in others. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. Hence, it’s important to prepare yourself before the big show so that you arrive on stage confident, collected and ready.

“Your outside world is a reflection of your inside world. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside.” – Bob Proctor

Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain. Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:

Warming up

If you’re nervous, chances are your body will feel the same way. Your body gets tense, your muscles feel tight or you’re breaking in cold sweat. The audience will notice you are nervous.

If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body. It’s better to warm up before every speech as it helps to increase the functional potential of the body as a whole. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements.

Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time:

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  1. Neck and shoulder rolls – This helps relieve upper body muscle tension and pressure as the rolls focus on rotating the head and shoulders, loosening the muscle. Stress and anxiety can make us rigid within this area which can make you feel agitated, especially when standing.
  2. Arm stretches – We often use this part of our muscles during a speech or presentation through our hand gestures and movements. Stretching these muscles can reduce arm fatigue, loosen you up and improve your body language range.
  3. Waist twists – Place your hands on your hips and rotate your waist in a circular motion. This exercise focuses on loosening the abdominal and lower back regions which is essential as it can cause discomfort and pain, further amplifying any anxieties you may experience.

Stay hydrated

Ever felt parched seconds before speaking? And then coming up on stage sounding raspy and scratchy in front of the audience? This happens because the adrenaline from stage fright causes your mouth to feel dried out.

To prevent all that, it’s essential we stay adequately hydrated before a speech. A sip of water will do the trick. However, do drink in moderation so that you won’t need to go to the bathroom constantly.

Try to avoid sugary beverages and caffeine, since it’s a diuretic – meaning you’ll feel thirstier. It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly.

Meditate

Meditation is well-known as a powerful tool to calm the mind. ABC’s Dan Harris, co-anchor of Nightline and Good Morning America weekend and author of the book titled10% Happier , recommends that meditation can help individuals to feel significantly calmer, faster.

Meditation is like a workout for your mind. It gives you the strength and focus to filter out the negativity and distractions with words of encouragement, confidence and strength.

Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is a popular method to calm yourself before going up on the big stage. The practice involves sitting comfortably, focusing on your breathing and then bringing your mind’s attention to the present without drifting into concerns about the past or future – which likely includes floundering on stage.

Here’s a nice example of guided meditation before public speaking:

2. Focus on your goal

One thing people with a fear of public speaking have in common is focusing too much on themselves and the possibility of failure.

Do I look funny? What if I can’t remember what to say? Do I look stupid? Will people listen to me? Does anyone care about what I’m talking about?’

Instead of thinking this way, shift your attention to your one true purpose – contributing something of value to your audience.

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Decide on the progress you’d like your audience to make after your presentation. Notice their movements and expressions to adapt your speech to ensure that they are having a good time to leave the room as better people.

If your own focus isn’t beneficial and what it should be when you’re speaking, then shift it to what does. This is also key to establishing trust during your presentation as the audience can clearly see that you have their interests at heart.[1]

3. Convert negativity to positivity

There are two sides constantly battling inside of us – one is filled with strength and courage while the other is doubt and insecurities. Which one will you feed?

‘What if I mess up this speech? What if I’m not funny enough? What if I forget what to say?’

It’s no wonder why many of us are uncomfortable giving a presentation. All we do is bring ourselves down before we got a chance to prove ourselves. This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy – a belief that comes true because we are acting as if it already is. If you think you’re incompetent, then it will eventually become true.

Motivational coaches tout that positive mantras and affirmations tend to boost your confidents for the moments that matter most. Say to yourself: “I’ll ace this speech and I can do it!”

Take advantage of your adrenaline rush to encourage positive outcome rather than thinking of the negative ‘what ifs’.

Here’s a video of Psychologist Kelly McGonigal who encourages her audience to turn stress into something positive as well as provide methods on how to cope with it:

4. Understand your content

Knowing your content at your fingertips helps reduce your anxiety because there is one less thing to worry about. One way to get there is to practice numerous times before your actual speech.

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However, memorizing your script word-for-word is not encouraged. You can end up freezing should you forget something. You’ll also risk sounding unnatural and less approachable.

“No amount of reading or memorizing will make you successful in life. It is the understanding and the application of wise thought that counts.” – Bob Proctor

Many people unconsciously make the mistake of reading from their slides or memorizing their script word-for-word without understanding their content – a definite way to stress themselves out.

Understanding your speech flow and content makes it easier for you to convert ideas and concepts into your own words which you can then clearly explain to others in a conversational manner. Designing your slides to include text prompts is also an easy hack to ensure you get to quickly recall your flow when your mind goes blank.[2]

One way to understand is to memorize the over-arching concepts or ideas in your pitch. It helps you speak more naturally and let your personality shine through. It’s almost like taking your audience on a journey with a few key milestones.

5. Practice makes perfect

Like most people, many of us are not naturally attuned to public speaking. Rarely do individuals walk up to a large audience and present flawlessly without any research and preparation.

In fact, some of the top presenters make it look easy during showtime because they have spent countless hours behind-the-scenes in deep practice. Even great speakers like the late John F. Kennedy would spend months preparing his speech beforehand.

Public speaking, like any other skill, requires practice – whether it be practicing your speech countless of times in front of a mirror or making notes. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect!

6. Be authentic

There’s nothing wrong with feeling stressed before going up to speak in front of an audience.

Many people fear public speaking because they fear others will judge them for showing their true, vulnerable self. However, vulnerability can sometimes help you come across as more authentic and relatable as a speaker.

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Drop the pretence of trying to act or speak like someone else and you’ll find that it’s worth the risk. You become more genuine, flexible and spontaneous, which makes it easier to handle unpredictable situations – whether it’s getting tough questions from the crowd or experiencing an unexpected technical difficulty.

To find out your authentic style of speaking is easy. Just pick a topic or issue you are passionate about and discuss this like you normally would with a close family or friend. It is like having a conversation with someone in a personal one-to-one setting. A great way to do this on stage is to select a random audience member(with a hopefully calming face) and speak to a single person at a time during your speech. You’ll find that it’s easier trying to connect to one person at a time than a whole room.

With that said, being comfortable enough to be yourself in front of others may take a little time and some experience, depending how comfortable you are with being yourself in front of others. But once you embrace it, stage fright will not be as intimidating as you initially thought.

Presenters like Barack Obama are a prime example of a genuine and passionate speaker:

7. Post speech evaluation

Last but not the least, if you’ve done public speaking and have been scarred from a bad experience, try seeing it as a lesson learned to improve yourself as a speaker.

Don’t beat yourself up after a presentation

We are the hardest on ourselves and it’s good to be. But when you finish delivering your speech or presentation, give yourself some recognition and a pat on the back.

You managed to finish whatever you had to do and did not give up. You did not let your fears and insecurities get to you. Take a little more pride in your work and believe in yourself.

Improve your next speech

As mentioned before, practice does make perfect. If you want to improve your public speaking skills, try asking someone to film you during a speech or presentation. Afterwards, watch and observe what you can do to improve yourself next time.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself after every speech:

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  • How did I do?
  • Are there any areas for improvement?
  • Did I sound or look stressed?
  • Did I stumble on my words? Why?
  • Was I saying “um” too often?
  • How was the flow of the speech?

Write everything you observed down and keep practicing and improving. In time, you’ll be able to better manage your fears of public speaking and appear more confident when it counts.

If you want even more tips about public speaking or delivering a great presentation, check out these articles too:

Reference

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