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15 Signs You’re More Mature Than You Think

15 Signs You’re More Mature Than You Think

There is a time in each person’s life where they grow up. Maturity does not come with age, it comes with experiences. Here are some indicators to show you that you are a lot more mature than you think.

1. You’ve found that the drama in your life is only on television.

Let’s face the facts here. There are a lot of toxic, dramatic and negative people in the world. You have finally realized that you don’t have time for that and have cut them out of your life. The only drama that is in your life now is on TV while you are doing laundry.

2. You’re relatively okay with change.

You finally get the fact that not everything is set in stone and are okay with it. Unless it’s your wedding, usually minor changes here and there do not bother you like they used to. You no longer go into a downward spiral of doom if your life takes another direction because more than likely, it was your choice.

We all have changed our minds on who we want to be, what we want to do, what we want to look like and where we want to live. Someone once said “life is not about finding yourself, it is about creating yourself.” There is no set road map to your life and you have gotten over that.

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3. You’ve realised that happily ever is hard work.

By now, you have probably realized that happily ever after is not the end of the story. It is the beginning and to keep it a happy relationship is hard work. You have accepted it as something more than singing a couple songs and trying on a glass slipper to find the love of your life.

You have accepted that there are people out there that are fake, mean, dishonest and smelly. More importantly, with the end of each relationship, you are no longer completely hopeless. You take it as a stepping stone and a lesson in what doesn’t work for you.

4. You’ve finally come to terms that the world does not revolve around you.

You have finally realized that the world is not under your control. Each and every individual on this earth has a life of their own to lead. More than likely, they cannot just drop whatever they are doing to assist you, just like you can’t do it for anyone else.

Sure there are family members and best friends but you are more considerate when asking for favors these days.

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5. Your parents don’t make you say sorry. You say it on your own and mean it.

At this point in life, you know that you have been wrong at least six million times. Okay, maybe not that much. When you are, you know when to apologize and admit that you are wrong. You work it out with the person you have hurt and move forward. If you are like me, apologizing is a huge step, so be proud.

6. You focus on the positive in life, by choice.

When something bad happens to you in life, you usually look on the bright side. You have come to accept that there is no use wallowing in your own misery because it does not fix anything. You have learned to take each awful thing that happens as an opportunity to learn.

7. You’ve noticed that family has become more important than friends.

Before, your friends were the most important thing in life. Family came in second and it was a chore hanging out with them. Now, you have a close circle of friends and many acquaintances, but you prefer to hang out with your mom on the weekend. You actually prefer the company of your family more than your friends at times.

8. You have applied a filter to most of your thoughts before they escape your mouth.

You realized that you need to filter your thoughts in most social gatherings. In fact, you should get a trophy for how many thoughts you kept in your head.

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9. You’re okay with being alone.

Being alone is therapeutic for you. It does not mean you are an outcast or that you hate people. It simply means that you don’t need another person to keep yourself occupied or happy.

10. You have caught yourself giving out your mom’s advice.

We all are guilty of it: rolling our eyes during a lecture from mom. Now, you find yourself giving your friend the very same lecture over an afternoon cup of coffee. You hate to admit it, but what she said is true and now you have finally accepted it.

11. Your career matters to you, even if it’s temporary.

You are responsible and take your job seriously. It doesn’t matter if its something you worked your whole life for or something to pay your way through classes, you make sure you do a good job. Each and every boss is an important voice on your resume when it comes to moving forward on your career path, so you take the time to do things right and efficiently.

12. You expect the best in life because you’ve worked so hard to get that outcome.

Everything you expect should leave you a 100% satisfied because you put 110% effort. You have learned the life lesson that nothing is handed to you, you need to work hard for what you want.

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13. You set aside time for yourself to do absolutely nothing.

You realize that you cannot completely work yourself to death, because what is a life you’ve worked so hard for if you cannot enjoy it? You have set aside time to enjoy some of a chapter in a book, to nap or to catch up on your favorite show. It isn’t being lazy, it is knowing when you need time to reset and relax.

14. You don’t find the need to get drunk on the weekends to have fun.

Your weekends don’t have to be filled with drunken adventures, a room full of sweaty dancing people or songs that are all about that bass. You are happy with a glass of wine and some good friends or a couple beers in a laid back pub. It doesn’t matter if you’re “turning down” for “what” or for Netflix, you can still have fun.

15. Materialistic things make you smile, but they do not define what happiness means.

Even though the occasion splurge makes you smile, its the little things in life that make you truly happy. You realize that the source of happiness is the little moments shared with the ones you love.

Featured photo credit: all in your hands via shutterstock.com

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Margielyn Musser

Event And Volunteer Coordinator / World Traveler

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Last Updated on May 22, 2020

What Makes a Good Leader: 9 Critical Leadership Qualities

What Makes a Good Leader: 9 Critical Leadership Qualities

The word “leader” makes you think of people in charge, high-ranking people: your boss, politicians, presidents, CEOs…

But leadership really isn’t about a particular position or a person’s seniority. Just because someone has worked for many years doesn’t mean s/he has gained the qualities and skills to lead a team.

Getting promoted to a managerial position doesn’t automatically turn you into a leader either. CEOs and other high-ranking officials don’t always have great leadership skills.

So what makes a good leader? What are the characteristics of a leader?

Good leadership is about acquiring and honing specific skills. Leadership skills enable you to be a role model for a team in any environment. With great leadership qualities, successful leaders come in all shapes and sizes: in the home, at school, or in the workplace.

The following are some of the many characteristics great leaders exhibit.

1. A Positive Attitude

Great leaders know that they won’t have a happy and motivated team unless they themselves exhibit a positive attitude. This can be done by remaining positive when things go wrong and by creating a relaxed and happy atmosphere in the workplace.

Even some simple things like providing snacks or organizing a team Happy Hour can make a world of difference. An added perk is that team members are likely to work harder and do overtime when needed if they’re happy and appreciated.

Even in the worst situations, such as experiencing low team morale or team members having made a big mistake at work, a great leader stays positive and figures out ways to keep the team motivated to solve the problems.

Walt Disney had his share of hardships and challenges, and like any great leader, he managed to stay positive and find new opportunities. In 1928, Disney found that his film producer, Charles Mintz, wanted to reduce his payments for the Oswald series. Mintz threatened to cut ties entirely if Disney didn’t accept his terms, and Disney chose to part ways. But in leaving Oswald, Disney decided to create something new: the iconic Mickey Mouse[1].

The key is to break down huge challenges into smaller ones and find ways to tackle them one by one.

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Think about the lessons you can learn from the mistake and jot them down because sometimes you win, and sometimes you learn.

2. Confidence

All great leaders have to exhibit an air of confidence if they’re going to succeed. Please don’t confuse this with self-satisfaction and arrogance. You want people to look up to you for inspiration, not so they can punch you in the face.

Confidence is important because people will be looking to you on how to behave, particularly if things aren’t going 100% right. If you remain calm and poised, team members are far more likely to as well. As a result, morale and productivity will remain high, and the problem will be solved more quickly.

If you panic and give up, they will know immediately and things will simply go downhill from there.

Elon Musk is a great example of a leader with confidence. He truly believes that Tesla will be successful, which he has shown many times through his actions. He converted 532,000 stock options at $6.63 each, their value on Dec. 4, 2009, before Tesla went public. It was a hefty bargain considering Tesla’s stock price stood at around $195 per share at that time. He doesn’t apologize for his beliefs and has drawn fire from just about everyone for his political actions.

You can’t instantly become a very confident person, but all the small things you do every day will gradually make you more confident:

  • List 5 things you like about yourself every day (something different every day), and you’ll appreciate yourself more.
  • Work on your strengths and do your best to enhance them.

3. A Sense of Humor

It’s imperative for any kind of leader to have a sense of humor, particularly when things go wrong. And they will.

Your team members are going to be looking to you for how to react in a seemingly dire situation. It would probably be best if you weren’t stringing up a noose for yourself in the corner. You need to be able to laugh things off because if staff morale goes down, so will productivity.

Establish this environment prior to any kind of meltdown by encouraging humor and personal discussions in the workplace.

As a president, Barack Obama exuded confidence and calm during stressful situations. But he was also known for his “dad jokes,”[2] his genuinely funny speeches at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, and appearing on Zack Galifianakis’s Between Two Ferns.[3] Obama’s sense of humor made him grounded, realistic, and honest, which no doubt helped during some tense moments in the White House!

Learn to laugh at yourself. Confident people laugh about their own silly mistakes, and when you do this, others will also trust you more because you’re willing to share your experiences.

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Be observant and learn from the jokes others make. You can also get a lot of inspiration from the internet.

4. Ability to Embrace Failure

No matter how hard you try to avoid it, failures will happen; that’s okay. You just need to know how to deal with them.

Great leaders take them in strides. They remain calm and logically think through the situation and utilize their resources. What they don’t do is fall apart and reveal to their team how worried they are, which leads to negative morale, fear, and binge-drinking under desks.

Great leaders do, in fact, lead, even when they’re faced with setbacks.

Henry Ford experienced a major setback after designing and improving the Ford Quadricycle. He founded the Detroit Automobile Company in 1899, but the resulting cars they produced did not live up to his standards and were too expensive. The company dissolved in 1901. Ford took this in stride and formed the Henry Ford Company. The sales were slow and the company had financial problems; it wasn’t until 1903 that the Ford Motor Company was successful and put the Ford on the map.

Get to the root cause of any problem so you can prevent it from happening again and learn from the mistake.

By asking “why” 5 times (or more) on why something happened, you can find out the key factor that caused the problem and can find the best solution to tackle the problem.

You’ll also learn how to prevent this from happening again in the future after finding out a problem’s root cause.

5. Careful Listening and Feedback

This is far more complex than it actually sounds. Good communication skills are essential for a great leader. You may very well understand the cave of crazy that is your brain, but that doesn’t mean that you can adequately take the ideas out of it and explain them to someone else.

The best leaders need to be able to communicate clearly with the people around them. They also need to be able to interpret other people properly and not take what they say personally.

The Dalai Lama, as a symbol of the unification of the state of Tibet, represents and practices Buddhist values. The Dalai Lama’s leadership is benevolent and aims toward truth and understanding, alongside the other Buddhist precepts. This is a great example for all leaders: if you want to give good directions to others, you have to get feedback from others to understand the situation properly.

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Encourage communication between team members and establish an open door policy.

Practice not interrupting team members when they’re talking. Instead, summarize what they say and ask for feedback after you have talked about your ideas.

6. Knowing How and When to Delegate

No matter how much you might want to, you can’t actually do everything yourself. Even if you could, in a team environment that would be a terrible idea anyway.

Good leaders recognize that delegation does more than simply alleviate their own stress levels (although that’s obviously a nice perk). Delegating to others shows that you have confidence in their abilities, which subsequently results in higher morale in the workplace, as well as loyalty from your staff. They want to feel appreciated and trusted.

Although Steve Jobs was known for focusing in on the smallest of details, he knew how to delegate. By finding, cultivating, and trusting capable team members, Jobs was able to make Apple run smoothly, even when he had to be absent for extended periods of time.

To know when and how to delegate work to team members, you have to be very familiar with each of them:

  • List out all of their strengths, weaknesses, and personalities.
  • Talk with your team members more to know about their passion and interests.

Take a look at this guide and learn more about delegation: How to Delegate Work Effectively (The Definitive Guide for Leaders)

7. Growth Mindset

Any good leader knows how important it is to develop the skills of those around them. The best can recognize those skills early on. Not only will development make work easier as they improve and grow, it will also foster morale. In addition, they may develop some skills that you don’t possess that will be beneficial to the workplace.

Great leaders share their knowledge with the team and give them the opportunity to achieve. This is how leaders gain their respect and loyalty.

Pope Francis has been unusually popular with many Catholics and many non-Catholics. His position isn’t totally traditional, which is part of his appeal, but he also has admirable leadership skills. Pope Francis’s TED talk[4] drew attention because he encouraged leaders to be humble and to demonstrate solidarity with others. This inclusive, kind, and respectful style of leadership is incredibly important for any situation.

It’s important to spend time talking with other team members individually to understand them.

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Find out team members’ current challenges and try to give feedback and encouragement so they will grow and do better.

8. Responsibility

Great leaders know that when it comes to their company, work place or whatever situation they’re in, they need to take personal responsibility for failure. How can they expect employees to hold themselves accountable if they themselves don’t?

The best leaders don’t make excuses; they take the blame and then work out how to fix the problem as soon as possible. This proves that they’re trustworthy and possess integrity.

Howard Gillman is the chancellor of UC Irvine. You might have heard of how the university rescinded a bunch of acceptances, and then changed its mind[5], This past spring, an unusually high number of accepted students decided to matriculate; the school initially responded by rescinding offers over things like missed deadlines. But the college realized this was a mistake and reversed its decision. Gillman and the university accepted responsibility and decided to move past their earlier bad decision.

Always ask yourself what you can do better or what you should change. Take responsibility and think about what you can do better to prevent this from happening next time.

9. A Desire to Learn

It’s safe to say that all great leaders will have to enter unchartered waters at some point during their career. Because of this, they have to be able to trust their intuition and draw on past experiences to guide them.

Great leaders know that there’s always something to learn from everything they have experienced before. They are able to connect the present challenges with the lessons learned in the past to make decisions and take actions promptly.

You can either recall what you’ve learned from your memories or search your notes (ideally, a software that you can access anywhere with things well-organized).

Warren Buffett, one of the richest people in the world, has mostly made the right calls. But in dealing with huge amounts of money, Buffett has also made several multi-million (and sometimes multi-billion) dollar mistakes. He has stated that buying the company Berkshire Hathaway was his biggest mistake[6]. From that poor choice, he realized that it was unwise to pursue “improvements” and “expansions” in the existing textile industry. Despite mistakes like this, Buffett has invested wisely, and it shows.

To effectively learn from the past, write down lessons you’ve learned from any mistakes you’ve made. Have all the lessons well organized, and when similar things happen again in future, take these lessons as references.

The Bottom Line

Leadership traits are learnable. If you practice consistently, you can be a great leader, too.

Make small changes to your habits when you work with your team, wherever that may be. Most of us aren’t presidents or CEOs, but we all work with other people, and our actions always impact others. This gives every person the chance to develop leadership skills and to stand out from the crowd.

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Featured photo credit: Markus Spiske via unsplash.com

Reference

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