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15 Signs You’re More Mature Than You Think

15 Signs You’re More Mature Than You Think

There is a time in each person’s life where they grow up. Maturity does not come with age, it comes with experiences. Here are some indicators to show you that you are a lot more mature than you think.

1. You’ve found that the drama in your life is only on television.

Let’s face the facts here. There are a lot of toxic, dramatic and negative people in the world. You have finally realized that you don’t have time for that and have cut them out of your life. The only drama that is in your life now is on TV while you are doing laundry.

2. You’re relatively okay with change.

You finally get the fact that not everything is set in stone and are okay with it. Unless it’s your wedding, usually minor changes here and there do not bother you like they used to. You no longer go into a downward spiral of doom if your life takes another direction because more than likely, it was your choice.

We all have changed our minds on who we want to be, what we want to do, what we want to look like and where we want to live. Someone once said “life is not about finding yourself, it is about creating yourself.” There is no set road map to your life and you have gotten over that.

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3. You’ve realised that happily ever is hard work.

By now, you have probably realized that happily ever after is not the end of the story. It is the beginning and to keep it a happy relationship is hard work. You have accepted it as something more than singing a couple songs and trying on a glass slipper to find the love of your life.

You have accepted that there are people out there that are fake, mean, dishonest and smelly. More importantly, with the end of each relationship, you are no longer completely hopeless. You take it as a stepping stone and a lesson in what doesn’t work for you.

4. You’ve finally come to terms that the world does not revolve around you.

You have finally realized that the world is not under your control. Each and every individual on this earth has a life of their own to lead. More than likely, they cannot just drop whatever they are doing to assist you, just like you can’t do it for anyone else.

Sure there are family members and best friends but you are more considerate when asking for favors these days.

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5. Your parents don’t make you say sorry. You say it on your own and mean it.

At this point in life, you know that you have been wrong at least six million times. Okay, maybe not that much. When you are, you know when to apologize and admit that you are wrong. You work it out with the person you have hurt and move forward. If you are like me, apologizing is a huge step, so be proud.

6. You focus on the positive in life, by choice.

When something bad happens to you in life, you usually look on the bright side. You have come to accept that there is no use wallowing in your own misery because it does not fix anything. You have learned to take each awful thing that happens as an opportunity to learn.

7. You’ve noticed that family has become more important than friends.

Before, your friends were the most important thing in life. Family came in second and it was a chore hanging out with them. Now, you have a close circle of friends and many acquaintances, but you prefer to hang out with your mom on the weekend. You actually prefer the company of your family more than your friends at times.

8. You have applied a filter to most of your thoughts before they escape your mouth.

You realized that you need to filter your thoughts in most social gatherings. In fact, you should get a trophy for how many thoughts you kept in your head.

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9. You’re okay with being alone.

Being alone is therapeutic for you. It does not mean you are an outcast or that you hate people. It simply means that you don’t need another person to keep yourself occupied or happy.

10. You have caught yourself giving out your mom’s advice.

We all are guilty of it: rolling our eyes during a lecture from mom. Now, you find yourself giving your friend the very same lecture over an afternoon cup of coffee. You hate to admit it, but what she said is true and now you have finally accepted it.

11. Your career matters to you, even if it’s temporary.

You are responsible and take your job seriously. It doesn’t matter if its something you worked your whole life for or something to pay your way through classes, you make sure you do a good job. Each and every boss is an important voice on your resume when it comes to moving forward on your career path, so you take the time to do things right and efficiently.

12. You expect the best in life because you’ve worked so hard to get that outcome.

Everything you expect should leave you a 100% satisfied because you put 110% effort. You have learned the life lesson that nothing is handed to you, you need to work hard for what you want.

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13. You set aside time for yourself to do absolutely nothing.

You realize that you cannot completely work yourself to death, because what is a life you’ve worked so hard for if you cannot enjoy it? You have set aside time to enjoy some of a chapter in a book, to nap or to catch up on your favorite show. It isn’t being lazy, it is knowing when you need time to reset and relax.

14. You don’t find the need to get drunk on the weekends to have fun.

Your weekends don’t have to be filled with drunken adventures, a room full of sweaty dancing people or songs that are all about that bass. You are happy with a glass of wine and some good friends or a couple beers in a laid back pub. It doesn’t matter if you’re “turning down” for “what” or for Netflix, you can still have fun.

15. Materialistic things make you smile, but they do not define what happiness means.

Even though the occasion splurge makes you smile, its the little things in life that make you truly happy. You realize that the source of happiness is the little moments shared with the ones you love.

Featured photo credit: all in your hands via shutterstock.com

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Margielyn Musser

Event And Volunteer Coordinator / World Traveler

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Last Updated on August 19, 2019

How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

We live in a world that constantly tells us what to do, how to act, what to be. Knowing how to be true to yourself and live the life you want can be a challenge.

When someone asks how we are, we assume that the person does not mean the question sincerely, for it would lead to an in depth conversation. So telling them that you are good or fine, even if you’re not, is the usual answer.

In an ideal world, we would stop and truly listen. We wouldn’t be afraid to be ourselves. Instead, when we answer about how we are doing, our mask, the persona we show the world, tightens. Sometimes even more so than it might have been before. Eventually, it becomes hard to take off, even when you’re alone.

Imagine a world where we asked how someone was doing and they really told us. Imagine a world where there were no masks, only transparency when we talked to one another.

If you want to live in a world that celebrates who you are, mistakes and all, take off the mask. It doesn’t mean you have to be positive or fine all the time.

According to a Danish psychologist, Svend Brinkman, we expect each other to be happy and fine every second, and we expect it of ourselves. And that “has a dark side.”[1] Positive psychology can have its perks but not at the expense at hiding how you truly feel in order to remain seemingly positive to others.

No one can feel positive all the time and yet, that is what our culture teaches us to embrace. We have to unlearn this. That said, telling others you are ‘“fine”’ all the time is actually detrimental to your wellbeing, because it stops you from being assertive, from being authentic or your truest self.

When you acknowledge a feeling, it leads you to the problem that’s causing that feeling; and once you identify the problem, you can find a solution to it. When you hide that feeling, you stuff it way down so no one can help you.You can’t even help yourself.

Feelings are there for one reason: to be felt. That doesn’t mean you have to act on that feeling. It just means that you start the process of problem solving so you can live the life you want.

1. Embrace Your Vulnerability

When you are your true self, you can better self-advocate or stand up for what you need. Your self-expression matters, and you should value your voice. It’s okay to need things, it’s okay to speak up, and it’s okay not to be okay.

Telling someone you are simply “fine” when you are not, does your story and your journey a great disservice. Being true to yourself entails embracing all aspects of your existence.

When you bring your whole self to the table, there is nothing that you can’t beat. Here’re 7 benefits of being vulnerable you should learn.

Can you take off the mask? This is the toughest thing anyone can do. We have learned to wait until we are safe before we start to be authentic.

In relationships especially, this can be hard. Some people avoid vulnerability at any cost. And in our relationship with ourselves, we can look in the mirror and immediately put on the mask.

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It all starts with your story. You have been on your own unique journey. That journey has led you here, to the person you are today. You have to be unafraid, and embrace all aspects of that journey.

You should seek to thrive, not just survive. That means you do not have to compete or compare yourself with anyone.

Authenticity means you are enough. It’s enough to be who you are to get what you want.

What if for the first time ever, you were real? What if you said what you wanted to say, did what you wanted to do, and didn’t apologize for it?

You were assertive, forthcoming in your opinions or actions to stand for what is right for you, (rather than being passive or aggressive) in doing so. You didn’t let things get to you. You knew you had something special to offer.

That’s where we all should be.

So, answer me this:

How are you, really?

And know that no matter the answer, you should still be accepted.

Bravery is in the understanding that you still may not be accepted for your truth.

Bravery is knowing you matter even when others say that you do not.

Bravery is believing in yourself when all evidence counters doing so (i.e. past failures or losses)

Bravery is in being vulnerable while knowing vulnerability is a sign of strength.

It’s taking control.

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2. Choose Your Attitude in Adversity

You can take control of your destiny and live the life you want by being true to yourself. You can start anytime. You can start today.

You can start with one day at a time, just facing what happens that day. Most of us get overwhelmed when faced with the prospect of a big change. Even if the only thing we change is our attitude.

In one instant, you can become a different person with a change of attitude. When you take control of your attitude, you become able to better understand what is around you. This allows you to move forward.

Originally, you may have had a life plan. It could have started when you were little; you were hoping to become a mermaid, doctor, astronaut or all three when you grew up. You were hoping to be someone. You were hoping to be remembered.

You can still dream those dreams, but eventually reality sets in. Obstacles and struggles arise. You set on a different path when the last one didn’t work out. You think of all the “shoulds” in your life in living the life you want. You should be doing this…should be doing that…

Clayton Barbeau, psychologist, coined the term “shoulding yourself.’[2] When we are set on one path and find ourselves doing something different. It becomes all the things you should be doing rather than seeing the opportunities right in front of you.

But in all this disarray, did you lose sight of the real you?

It may be in our perceived failures and blunders that we lose sight of who we are, because we try to maintain position and status.

In being who we really are and achieving what we really want, we need to be resilient: How to Build Resilience to Face What Life Throws at You

It means that we do not see all possibilities of what might happen, but must trust ourselves to begin again, and continue to build the life we want. In the face of adversity, you must choose your attitude.

Can attitude overcome adversity? It certainly helps. While seeking to be true to yourself and live the life you want, you will have to face a fact:

Change will happen.

Whether that change is good or bad is unique to each person and their perspective.

You might have to start over, once, twice, a few times. It doesn’t mean that everything will be okay, but that you will be okay. What remains or should remain is the true you. When you’ve lost sight of that, you’ve lost sight of everything.

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And then, you rebuild. Moment after moment, day after day. We all have a choice, and in this moment, that matters.

You can choose to have a positive attitude, seeing the silver lining in each situation and, where there is none, the potential for one. Maybe that silver lining is you and what you will do with the situation. How will you use it for something good?

That’s how you can tap into yourself and your power. Sometimes it happens by accident, sometimes on purpose. It can happen when we aren’t even looking for it, or it can be your only focus. Everyone gets there differently.

You can rise, or you can remain. Your choice.

When the worst happens, you can rely on your authenticity to pull you through. That’s because Self Advocacy, speaking up to let others know what you need, is part of finding the real you.

There is nothing wrong with asking for help. Or sometimes, helping others can help us deal with the pain of a hurtful situation. You decide how you’re going to help others, and suddenly, you become your best self.

3. Do What Makes You Happy When No One’s Looking

Being the best version of you has nothing to do with your success or your status. It has everything to do with your Character, what you do when no one’s looking.

In order to create the life you want, you have to be the person you want to be. Faking it till you make it is just a way to white knuckle it through your journey. You have the fire inside of you to make things right, to put the pieces together, to live authentically. And Character is how you get there.

If you fall down and you help another up while you’re down there, it’s like you rise twice.

Along with attitude, your character is about the choices you make rather than what happens to you.

Yes, it’s about doing the right thing even when obstacles seem insurmountable.  It’s about using that mountain you’ve been given to show others it can be moved.  It’s about being unapologetically you, taking control, choosing your attitude in adversity and being the best version of you to create the life you want.

How do you know what you really want? Is it truly status or success?

Unfortunately, these things do not always bring happiness. And aspects of our image or “performance driven existence” may not achieve satisfaction. Materialism is part of our refusal to accept ourselves as enough. All the things we use to repress our true selves are about being enough.

“Enoughness” is what we truly seek, but ego gets in the way.

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Ego is the perception of self as outer worth. It’s not REAL self worth.

Ego represses our true self with a new self— the self of chasing ‘“Am I ever enough?”’ questions. And instead of filling our true selves with self-love and acceptance, when we “should ourselves” and chase “enoughness,” we feed the ego or our image.

It’s important to realize YOU ARE ENOUGH, without all the material trappings.

Stanford psychologist Meagan O’Reilly describes the damage of not thinking we are enough. One of her tactics for combating this is to complete the sentence,[3]

“If I believed I were already enough, I’d ____”

What would you do if you felt you were enough?

By believing you are enough, you can live the life you want.

So many fake it to try to get there, and they end up losing themselves when they lose more and more touch with their Authenticity.

Final Thoughts

By being yourself, you are being brave. By acknowledging all you can be, you tell the universe that you can until you believe it too. The steps are easy, and you are worth it. All of it is about the purpose you are leading and the passion that is your fuel.

Being true to yourself is all about mastering how to live life authentically rather than faking or forcing it. Having the life you want (and deserve) is about being trusting in yourself and the purpose you are living for. Both need passion behind it, fueling it each second, or you will experience burn out.

When you are authentic, you can call the road you walk your own. When you live your life for you and not just the results of all your actions (faking it till you make it), you can let go of what you don’t need. This clarifies and pushes purpose to you, living for something that is greater than you.

You will find that making decisions based on what will actually achieve your goals, will help you attain the life you want, and your success with each step, will allow you to enjoy the process. Good luck!

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Featured photo credit: Ariana Prestes via unsplash.com

Reference

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