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15 Signs You’re More Mature Than You Think

15 Signs You’re More Mature Than You Think

There is a time in each person’s life where they grow up. Maturity does not come with age, it comes with experiences. Here are some indicators to show you that you are a lot more mature than you think.

1. You’ve found that the drama in your life is only on television.

Let’s face the facts here. There are a lot of toxic, dramatic and negative people in the world. You have finally realized that you don’t have time for that and have cut them out of your life. The only drama that is in your life now is on TV while you are doing laundry.

2. You’re relatively okay with change.

You finally get the fact that not everything is set in stone and are okay with it. Unless it’s your wedding, usually minor changes here and there do not bother you like they used to. You no longer go into a downward spiral of doom if your life takes another direction because more than likely, it was your choice.

We all have changed our minds on who we want to be, what we want to do, what we want to look like and where we want to live. Someone once said “life is not about finding yourself, it is about creating yourself.” There is no set road map to your life and you have gotten over that.

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3. You’ve realised that happily ever is hard work.

By now, you have probably realized that happily ever after is not the end of the story. It is the beginning and to keep it a happy relationship is hard work. You have accepted it as something more than singing a couple songs and trying on a glass slipper to find the love of your life.

You have accepted that there are people out there that are fake, mean, dishonest and smelly. More importantly, with the end of each relationship, you are no longer completely hopeless. You take it as a stepping stone and a lesson in what doesn’t work for you.

4. You’ve finally come to terms that the world does not revolve around you.

You have finally realized that the world is not under your control. Each and every individual on this earth has a life of their own to lead. More than likely, they cannot just drop whatever they are doing to assist you, just like you can’t do it for anyone else.

Sure there are family members and best friends but you are more considerate when asking for favors these days.

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5. Your parents don’t make you say sorry. You say it on your own and mean it.

At this point in life, you know that you have been wrong at least six million times. Okay, maybe not that much. When you are, you know when to apologize and admit that you are wrong. You work it out with the person you have hurt and move forward. If you are like me, apologizing is a huge step, so be proud.

6. You focus on the positive in life, by choice.

When something bad happens to you in life, you usually look on the bright side. You have come to accept that there is no use wallowing in your own misery because it does not fix anything. You have learned to take each awful thing that happens as an opportunity to learn.

7. You’ve noticed that family has become more important than friends.

Before, your friends were the most important thing in life. Family came in second and it was a chore hanging out with them. Now, you have a close circle of friends and many acquaintances, but you prefer to hang out with your mom on the weekend. You actually prefer the company of your family more than your friends at times.

8. You have applied a filter to most of your thoughts before they escape your mouth.

You realized that you need to filter your thoughts in most social gatherings. In fact, you should get a trophy for how many thoughts you kept in your head.

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9. You’re okay with being alone.

Being alone is therapeutic for you. It does not mean you are an outcast or that you hate people. It simply means that you don’t need another person to keep yourself occupied or happy.

10. You have caught yourself giving out your mom’s advice.

We all are guilty of it: rolling our eyes during a lecture from mom. Now, you find yourself giving your friend the very same lecture over an afternoon cup of coffee. You hate to admit it, but what she said is true and now you have finally accepted it.

11. Your career matters to you, even if it’s temporary.

You are responsible and take your job seriously. It doesn’t matter if its something you worked your whole life for or something to pay your way through classes, you make sure you do a good job. Each and every boss is an important voice on your resume when it comes to moving forward on your career path, so you take the time to do things right and efficiently.

12. You expect the best in life because you’ve worked so hard to get that outcome.

Everything you expect should leave you a 100% satisfied because you put 110% effort. You have learned the life lesson that nothing is handed to you, you need to work hard for what you want.

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13. You set aside time for yourself to do absolutely nothing.

You realize that you cannot completely work yourself to death, because what is a life you’ve worked so hard for if you cannot enjoy it? You have set aside time to enjoy some of a chapter in a book, to nap or to catch up on your favorite show. It isn’t being lazy, it is knowing when you need time to reset and relax.

14. You don’t find the need to get drunk on the weekends to have fun.

Your weekends don’t have to be filled with drunken adventures, a room full of sweaty dancing people or songs that are all about that bass. You are happy with a glass of wine and some good friends or a couple beers in a laid back pub. It doesn’t matter if you’re “turning down” for “what” or for Netflix, you can still have fun.

15. Materialistic things make you smile, but they do not define what happiness means.

Even though the occasion splurge makes you smile, its the little things in life that make you truly happy. You realize that the source of happiness is the little moments shared with the ones you love.

Featured photo credit: all in your hands via shutterstock.com

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Margielyn Musser

Event And Volunteer Coordinator / World Traveler

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Last Updated on August 12, 2020

When Should You Trust Your Gut and How?

When Should You Trust Your Gut and How?

Learning how to trust your gut, otherwise known as your intuition, can keep you safe. Your gut can guide you and help you build your confidence and resilience. My own gut instinct has saved me on more than one occasion. It has also guided me into making sound career choices and other exciting, big decisions. I’m also aware of the times when I’ve gone against my instincts and really regretted it later, wondering why I didn’t tune in to that valuable internal voice that we all have within us.

In this article, we’re going to explore why and how you should listen to your gut, as well as some concrete tips on how to make sure you’re making the most out of your gut instincts.

How to Listen to Your Gut

The key when making any big decision is to always take a minute to listen well to yourself and your inner compass. If you hear your actual voice saying yes while inside you’re silently screaming no, my advice is to ask for some time to think, or simply take a breath and pause before the yes or no escapes your mouth.

Use that moment to breathe, check in with yourself, and give the answer that feels congruent with who you are and what you want, not the one that always involves following the herd. Trusting your gut means having the courage to not simply go with the majority. It can be about holding your own. Here’s how to hone that skill for yourself and reap the rewards.

1. Tune Into Your Body

Your body gives you clues when you’re faced with a big decision. There are many visible and obvious symptoms that we feel in uncomfortable situations. Our body’s reaction is often something that we might try to hide, for example, blushing, being lost for words, or shaking. There are things we might do to try and hide that physical reaction, whether it’s wearing makeup, having a glass of wine or coffee to perk us up a bit, or learning to control our nerves.

However, paying attention to your body when you experience these feelings of anxiety can teach you so much and help you to make sound choices. Some people will experience an actual “gut” feeling of stomach ache or indigestion in an uncomfortable situation.

Ask yourself what’s really going on here, and explore what is happening behind your body’s response to the situation. What can your reaction or instinct teach you? Understanding that can be a clue and can help you either learn something about yourself, the situation, or other people. The answers are often within us.

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Sometimes we’ll get this “something’s not right here” feeling and cannot quite put our finger on it or explain it. That can still be incredibly useful and really guide us away from danger, even if we don’t know the reason.

In his book, Blink, Malcolm Gladwell also argues this, making the point that sometimes our subconscious is better at processing the answer we need, and that we don’t necessarily need to take time to collect hours and hours of information to come to a reliable conclusion[1].

2. Ensure Your Head Is Clear Before Making a Decision

Energy, sleep, and good nutrition are so vital to nourishing our minds, as well as our bodies. There are times when your instinct could lead you astray, and one of these is when you are hungry, “hangry” (angry because you’re hungry!), tired, or anxious. If this is the case–and it may sound obvious–do consider sleeping or eating on it before making an important choice.

There is, in fact, a connection between our gut and our brain[2], which is where terms like “butterflies in the stomach” and “gut-wrenching” originate from. Stress and emotions can cause physical feelings, and ignoring them might do more harm than good.

3. Don’t Be Afraid to Say What You Think and Feel

Listening to your gut and really paying attention to it might involve standing up and being counted, calling something out, or taking a stand. As someone who works for myself, I’ve become used to following the less-travelled road, and that’s given me the chance to strike out on my own in other ways, too.

As they tell you in the planes, “put your own oxygen mask on first,” and part of that self-reliance is knowing what you really want and like and what is safe and good for you, including what resonates with your personal and business values. Making good decisions with this in mind means making choices that do not go against your own beliefs, even when it may mean taking a stand. This is part of trusting yourself and trusting your instincts.

This does not always mean taking the “safe” option, although keeping ourselves safe is an important part of the process. This is how we learn and grow, by following our own inner compass. When you do take risks, go outside of your comfort zone, or choose the less popular option, spending some time researching the facts can stand us in good stead, too.

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4. Do Your Research If Something Feels Off

As well as listening to our instincts, we can also back up the evidence for our chosen course of action before taking the leap. I had a gut feeling about the need for a learning and development network when I noticed my clients getting stuck with the same problems. I set up and now run such a network, but instead of simply going for it, without evidence, I followed up on my instinct with research.

Having confidence in your gut instinct through these kinds of tests can help to minimize your risks, as well as spur you on. It will encourage you to trust your gut again in the future and trust that you are an expert with foresight and experience. You are!

5. Challenge Your Assumptions

When you look at the assumptions your making, this could be the clue to mistakes you are making.

In order to check that our instincts are wise, we need to ask ourselves what blanks we might be filling in, either consciously or unconsciously. This is true not just when it comes to our own decision-making. It’s also true when we are listening to someone explain a problem or situation, and we’re about to jump in and give some advice. If we can learn to be aware of our own assumptions, we can become better listeners and better decision makers, too.

A useful tool to become more aware of your assumptions before making a final decision is simply to ask yourself, “What assumptions am I making about this situation or person?”

6. Educate Yourself on Unconscious Bias

Unconscious bias is something we all have, and it can trip us up big time!

There is a vital caveat to bear in mind when wondering about whether you can trust your gut and the feelings your body gives you, and that’s having an awareness of your unconscious bias. Understanding your own bias–which is hard to do because it literally does happen in our subconscious–can help you to make stronger, better, decisions instead of re-confirming your view of the world over and over again.

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Bias exists, and it’s part of the human condition. All of us have it, and it colors our decisions and can impact on our performance without us realizing.

Unconscious bias happens at a subconscious level in our brains. Our subconscious brain processes information so much faster than our conscious brain. Quick decisions we make in our subconscious are based on both our societal conditioning and how our families raised us.

Our brains process hundreds of thousands of pieces of information daily. We unconsciously categorize and format that information into patterns that feel familiar to us. Aspects such as gender, disability, class, sexuality, body shape and size, ethnicity, and what someone does for a job can all quickly influence decisions we make about people and the relationships we choose to form. Our unconscious bias can be very subtle and go unnoticed..

We naturally tend to gravitate towards people similar to ourselves, favoring people who we see as belonging to the same “group” as us. Being able to make a quick decision about whether someone is part of your group and distinguish friend from foe was what helped early humans to survive. Conversely, we don’t automatically favor people who we don’t immediately relate to or easily connect with.

The downside of that human instinct to seek out similar people is the potential for prejudice, which seems to be hard-wired into human cognition, no matter how open-minded we believe ourselves to be. And these stereotypes we create can be wrong. If we only spend our time with and employ people similar to ourselves, it can create prejudices, as well as stifle fresh thinking and innovation.

We may feel more natural or comfortable working with other people who share our own background and/or opinions than collaborating with people who don’t look, talk, or think like us. However, diversity is not just morally right; having a mix of different people and perspectives that can be genuinely heard is also a valuable way to counter groupthink. Diversity stretches us to think more critically and creatively.

7. Trust Yourself

It is possible to learn how to truly trust yourself[3]. Like any talent or skill, practicing trusting your gut is the best way to get really good at it. When people talk about having great intuition or being good decision-makers, it’s because they’ve worked at honing those skills, made mistakes, learned from them, and tried again.

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Looking back at decisions you’ve made, what you did, what the outcome was, and what you’ve learned can help you become a stronger decision maker and develop solid self-trust and resilience. Making a mistake does not mean you are not great at decision-making; it’s a chance to grow and learn, and the only mistake is to ignore the lesson in that experience.

If you are in the habit of asking others for their input, then the trick here is to choose your inner circle wisely. Having a sounding board of people who have your best interests at heart is a valuable asset, and, combined with your own excellent instincts, can make you a champion decision maker.

The Bottom Line

The above tips are all actionable and easy to start immediately. It’s simply about switching your thinking around, slowing down, and taking great care of this amazing machine that is your body and mind!

Learning how to trust your gut is one of the most fundamental ways to make decisions that will help you lead the life you want and need. Tune into what your body is telling you and start making good decisions today.

More Tips on How to Trust Your Gut

Featured photo credit: Acy Varlan via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Science of People: Learn to Trust Your Gut Instincts: The Science Behind Thin-slicing
[2] Harvard Health Publishing: The gut-brain connection
[3] Psych Central: 3 Ways to Develop Self-Trust

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