Advertising
Advertising

15 Signs You’re More Mature Than You Think

15 Signs You’re More Mature Than You Think

There is a time in each person’s life where they grow up. Maturity does not come with age, it comes with experiences. Here are some indicators to show you that you are a lot more mature than you think.

1. You’ve found that the drama in your life is only on television.

Let’s face the facts here. There are a lot of toxic, dramatic and negative people in the world. You have finally realized that you don’t have time for that and have cut them out of your life. The only drama that is in your life now is on TV while you are doing laundry.

2. You’re relatively okay with change.

You finally get the fact that not everything is set in stone and are okay with it. Unless it’s your wedding, usually minor changes here and there do not bother you like they used to. You no longer go into a downward spiral of doom if your life takes another direction because more than likely, it was your choice.

We all have changed our minds on who we want to be, what we want to do, what we want to look like and where we want to live. Someone once said “life is not about finding yourself, it is about creating yourself.” There is no set road map to your life and you have gotten over that.

Advertising

3. You’ve realised that happily ever is hard work.

By now, you have probably realized that happily ever after is not the end of the story. It is the beginning and to keep it a happy relationship is hard work. You have accepted it as something more than singing a couple songs and trying on a glass slipper to find the love of your life.

You have accepted that there are people out there that are fake, mean, dishonest and smelly. More importantly, with the end of each relationship, you are no longer completely hopeless. You take it as a stepping stone and a lesson in what doesn’t work for you.

4. You’ve finally come to terms that the world does not revolve around you.

You have finally realized that the world is not under your control. Each and every individual on this earth has a life of their own to lead. More than likely, they cannot just drop whatever they are doing to assist you, just like you can’t do it for anyone else.

Sure there are family members and best friends but you are more considerate when asking for favors these days.

Advertising

5. Your parents don’t make you say sorry. You say it on your own and mean it.

At this point in life, you know that you have been wrong at least six million times. Okay, maybe not that much. When you are, you know when to apologize and admit that you are wrong. You work it out with the person you have hurt and move forward. If you are like me, apologizing is a huge step, so be proud.

6. You focus on the positive in life, by choice.

When something bad happens to you in life, you usually look on the bright side. You have come to accept that there is no use wallowing in your own misery because it does not fix anything. You have learned to take each awful thing that happens as an opportunity to learn.

7. You’ve noticed that family has become more important than friends.

Before, your friends were the most important thing in life. Family came in second and it was a chore hanging out with them. Now, you have a close circle of friends and many acquaintances, but you prefer to hang out with your mom on the weekend. You actually prefer the company of your family more than your friends at times.

8. You have applied a filter to most of your thoughts before they escape your mouth.

You realized that you need to filter your thoughts in most social gatherings. In fact, you should get a trophy for how many thoughts you kept in your head.

Advertising

9. You’re okay with being alone.

Being alone is therapeutic for you. It does not mean you are an outcast or that you hate people. It simply means that you don’t need another person to keep yourself occupied or happy.

10. You have caught yourself giving out your mom’s advice.

We all are guilty of it: rolling our eyes during a lecture from mom. Now, you find yourself giving your friend the very same lecture over an afternoon cup of coffee. You hate to admit it, but what she said is true and now you have finally accepted it.

11. Your career matters to you, even if it’s temporary.

You are responsible and take your job seriously. It doesn’t matter if its something you worked your whole life for or something to pay your way through classes, you make sure you do a good job. Each and every boss is an important voice on your resume when it comes to moving forward on your career path, so you take the time to do things right and efficiently.

12. You expect the best in life because you’ve worked so hard to get that outcome.

Everything you expect should leave you a 100% satisfied because you put 110% effort. You have learned the life lesson that nothing is handed to you, you need to work hard for what you want.

Advertising

13. You set aside time for yourself to do absolutely nothing.

You realize that you cannot completely work yourself to death, because what is a life you’ve worked so hard for if you cannot enjoy it? You have set aside time to enjoy some of a chapter in a book, to nap or to catch up on your favorite show. It isn’t being lazy, it is knowing when you need time to reset and relax.

14. You don’t find the need to get drunk on the weekends to have fun.

Your weekends don’t have to be filled with drunken adventures, a room full of sweaty dancing people or songs that are all about that bass. You are happy with a glass of wine and some good friends or a couple beers in a laid back pub. It doesn’t matter if you’re “turning down” for “what” or for Netflix, you can still have fun.

15. Materialistic things make you smile, but they do not define what happiness means.

Even though the occasion splurge makes you smile, its the little things in life that make you truly happy. You realize that the source of happiness is the little moments shared with the ones you love.

Featured photo credit: all in your hands via shutterstock.com

More by this author

Margielyn Musser

Event And Volunteer Coordinator / World Traveler

10 Signs You Are A Leader And Don’t Even Know It 3 Things Extroverted Introverts Wish People Knew An Open Letter To All 20-Somethings: Don’t Panic! 30 Mason Jar Meals That Are Instagram Worthy Only Scatterbrained People Would Relate To These 11 Things

Trending in Communication

1 How to Say No When You Know You Say Yes Too Often 2 20 Excuses Most People Make That Stop Them From Reaching Their Dreams 3 5 Real Relationship Goals You Should Actually Strive Toward 4 When You Learn A Second Language, These 7 Amazing Things Will Happen To You 5 15 Things To Stop Doing If You Want To Be Truly Happy

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on January 24, 2021

How to Say No When You Know You Say Yes Too Often

How to Say No When You Know You Say Yes Too Often

Do you say yes so often that you no longer feel that your own needs are being met? Are you wondering how to say no to people?

For years, I was a serial people pleaser[1]. Known as someone who would step up, I would gladly make time, especially when it came to volunteering for certain causes. I proudly carried this role all through grade school, college, even through law school. For years, I thought saying “no” meant I would disappoint a good friend or someone I respected.

But somewhere along the way, I noticed I wasn’t quite living my life. Instead, I seem to have created a schedule that was a strange combination of meeting the expectations of others, what I thought I should be doing, and some of what I actually wanted to do. The result? I had a packed schedule that left me overwhelmed and unfulfilled.

It took a long while, but I learned the art of saying no. Saying no meant I no longer catered fully to everyone else’s needs and could make more room for what I really wanted to do. Instead of cramming too much in, I chose to pursue what really mattered. When that happened, I became a lot happier.

And guess what? I hardly disappointed anyone.

The Importance of Saying No

When you learn the art of saying no, you begin to look at the world differently. Rather than seeing all of the things you could or should be doing (and aren’t doing), you start to look at how to say yes to what’s important.

In other words, you aren’t just reacting to what life throws at you. You seek the opportunities that move you to where you want to be.

Successful people aren’t afraid to say no. Oprah Winfrey, considered one of the most successful women in the world, confessed that it was much later in life when she learned how to say no. Even after she had become internationally famous, she felt she had to say yes to virtually everything.

Being able to say no also helps you manage your time better.

Warren Buffett views “no” as essential to his success. He said:

“The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.”

When I made “no” a part of my toolbox, I drove more of my own success, focusing on fewer things and doing them well.

How We Are Pressured to Say Yes

It’s no wonder a lot of us find it hard to say no.

From an early age, we are conditioned to say yes. We said yes probably hundreds of times in order to graduate from high school and then get into college. We said yes to find work, to get a promotion, to find love and then yes again to stay in a relationship. We said yes to find and keep friends.

We say yes because we feel good when we help someone, because it can seem like the right thing to do, because we think that is key to success, and because the request might come from someone who is hard to resist.

And that’s not all. The pressure to say yes doesn’t just come from others. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves.

Advertising

At work, we say yes because we compare ourselves to others who seem to be doing more than we are. Outside of work, we say yes because we are feeling bad that we aren’t doing enough to spend time with family or friends.

The message, no matter where we turn, is nearly always, “You really could be doing more.” The result? When people ask us for our time, we are heavily conditioned to say yes.

How Do You Say No Without Feeling Guilty?

Deciding to add the word “no” to your toolbox is no small thing. Perhaps you already say no, but not as much as you would like. Maybe you have an instinct that if you were to learn the art of no that you could finally create more time for things you care about.

But let’s be honest, using the word “no” doesn’t come easily for many people.

3 Rules of Thumbs for Saying No

1. You Need to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

Let’s face it. It is hard to say no. Setting boundaries around your time, especially you haven’t done it much in the past, will feel awkward. Your comfort zone is “yes,” so it’s time to challenge that and step outside that.

If you need help getting out of your comfort zone, check out this article.

2. You Are the Air Traffic Controller of Your Time

When you want to learn how to say no, remember that you are the only one who understands the demands for your time. Think about it: who else knows about all of the demands in your life? No one.

Only you are at the center of all of these requests. You are the only one that understands what time you really have.

3. Saying No Means Saying Yes to Something That Matters

When we decide not to do something, it means we can say yes to something else that we may care more about. You have a unique opportunity to decide how you spend your precious time.

6 Ways to Start Saying No

Incorporating that little word “no” into your life can be transformational. Turning some things down will mean you can open doors to what really matters. Here are some essential tips to learn the art of no:

Advertising

1. Check in With Your Obligation Meter

One of the biggest challenges to saying no is a feeling of obligation. Do you feel you have a responsibility to say yes and worry that saying no will reflect poorly on you?

Ask yourself whether you truly have the duty to say yes. Check your assumptions or beliefs about whether you carry the responsibility to say yes. Turn it around and instead ask what duty you owe to yourself.

2. Resist the Fear of Missing out (FOMO)

Do you have a fear of missing out (FOMO)? FOMO can follow us around in so many ways. At work, we volunteer our time because we fear we won’t move ahead. In our personal lives, we agree to join the crowd because of FOMO, even while we ourselves aren’t enjoying the fun.

Check in with yourself. Are you saying yes because of FOMO or because you really want to say yes? More often than not, running after fear doesn’t make us feel better[2].

3. Check Your Assumptions About What It Means to Say No

Do you dread the reaction you will get if you say no? Often, we say yes because we worry about how others will respond or because of the consequences. We may be afraid to disappoint others or think we will lose their respect. We often forget how much we are disappointing ourselves along the way.

Keep in mind that saying no can be exactly what is needed to send the right message that you have limited time. In the tips below, you will see how to communicate your no in a gentle and loving way.

You might disappoint someone initially, but drawing a boundary can bring you the freedom you need so that you can give freely of yourself when you truly want to. And it will often help others have more respect for you and your boundaries, not less.

4. When the Request Comes in, Sit on It

Sometimes, when we are in the moment, we instinctively agree. The request might make sense at first. Or we typically have said yes to this request in the past.

Give yourself a little time to reflect on whether you really have the time or can do the task properly. You may decide the best option is to say no. There is no harm in giving yourself the time to decide.

5. Communicate Your “No” with Transparency and Kindness

When you are ready to tell someone no, communicate your decision clearly. The message can be open and honest[3] to ensure the recipient that your reasons have to do with your limited time.

Advertising

How do you say no? 9 Healthy Ways to Say “No”

    Resist the temptation not to respond or communicate all. But do not feel obligated to provide a lengthy account about why you are saying no.

    Clear communication with a short explanation is all that is needed. I have found it useful to tell people that I have many demands and need to be careful with how I allocate my time. I will sometimes say I really appreciate that they came to me and for them to check in again if the opportunity arises another time.

    6. Consider How to Use a Modified No

    If you are under pressure to say yes but want to say no, you may want to consider downgrading a “yes” to a “yes but…” as this will give you an opportunity to condition your agreement to what works best for you.

    Sometimes, the condition can be to do the task, but not in the time frame that was originally requested. Or perhaps you can do part of what has been asked.

    Final Thoughts

    Beginning right now, you can change how you respond to requests for your time. When the request comes in, take yourself off autopilot where you might normally say yes.

    Use the request as a way to draw a healthy boundary around your time. Pay particular attention to when you place certain demands on yourself.

    Try it now. Say no to a friend who continues to take advantage of your goodwill. Or, draw the line with a workaholic colleague and tell them you will complete the project, but not by working all weekend. You’ll find yourself much happier.

    More Tips on How to Say No

    Featured photo credit: Chris Ainsworth via unsplash.com

    Reference

    [1] Science of People: 11 Expert Tips to Stop Being a People Pleaser and Start Doing You
    [2] Anxiety and Depression Association of America: Tips to Get Over Your FOMO, or Fear of Missing Out
    [3] Cooks Hill Counseling: 9 Healthy Ways to Say “No”

    Read Next