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15 Reasons To Send Your High School Besties A Thank You Card

15 Reasons To Send Your High School Besties A Thank You Card

There are some friendships that crash and burn from your high school years – and then there are some that you hold near and dear to your heart forever. They have accepted you for who you are after the many phases you’ve been through. They have endured the mundane moments of your shared history and have learned the lessons of life at almost the same exact pace as you. Here are fifteen different reasons you need to send your high school friends a thank you card.

1. They were your friends before you got your life together…

Before you got your jobs, fancy or not-so-fancy cars, and an ID card stating that you’re over the age of 21 – you had your friends. Your friends in high school were okay with simply hanging out. They didn’t mind taking the bus to the mall and window shopping or hanging out at the park. They were friends with you because they liked who you were as a person and loved your company.

2. And if it still isn’t, they understand

If you don’t have your life together, it’s okay with them. Why? Because more than likely, they don’t have it completely together, either. They are right there with you to enjoy the ups and downs of growing up. They are learning the same lessons with you: that not everyone’s path is paved perfectly.

3. They understand each and every emotion you go through when scrolling through your news feed

You all have to be honest with yourselves here with this one. When you go through your news feed and read through the latest drama, or see that the one couple you went to high school with finally got married, you know exactly who to text. They will understand completely how you feel and more than likely, they are with you (on your couch!) reading it.

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4. They are there through your new beginnings and heartbreaks

They were there when you still hoped dating would be easy… and that means they were there when you found out the hard way that relationships take work. They never judged you for it though, they were there to listen – with eggs in hand to throw at your ex’s car.

5. They were there to share car rides with you

After one of you got a car, your bus riding days were long gone! You drove everywhere together. They were with you on the way to school, back home, to the mall, to the movies, and anywhere else you could think of to drive. Sure, carpooling can become mundane and passé as you get older, but they made carpooling cool with the windows down and the music turned all the way up.

6. They were there to witness or experience your first taste of real life responsibility

They were there around the time when you got your first job, and more than likely they were in the same boat as you. You found out together that earning money at an actual job and earning money at home doing chores are two different things. You learned together that your parents were being nice by not taking taxes out of your allowance. You were also together when you got your first paychecks and blew it all the very next day!

7. They are the reason you have a second family

Growing up, you had more than one home, more than one parent watching out for you, and more than one car to get around in. You may have been a bit annoyed when their parents called you out on some things, but they made up for it with the free food in their fridge.

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8. They were there in a heartbeat to get rid of the bad day blues

During the days where you’re just burnt out from your really hard life, your friends have been there to pick you up for a quick meal or a drive. When you weren’t allowed to take the car anywhere and needed to get away, they were parked in your driveway waiting. Most of the time, a quick milkshake or burger at your local diner was enough to make your day.

9. Lyrics, emojis, and photos can be a two hour conversation – and neither of you have a problem with that

It doesn’t matter if its the lyrics to your favorite Pitch Perfect mash-up or memes about leg day, this can go on for hours. Some people don’t understand it but that’s okay.

10. They are okay with your binge eating (no judgment here)

Sometimes we have days where the stomach can be a black hole. It doesn’t matter if you have already eaten 14 tacos, 2 pancakes, and are going in for a burger, they are okay with you doing so. In fact, they are more than likely at 16 tacos, 3 pancakes, and have already finished their burger.

11. They taught you to work and play

You all remember telling your parents you were going over to your friend’s house to do “homework,” when your time was actually spent watching TV, swimming, or at the mall hanging out. If you were actually doing homework, you were probably cramming it all together within the last hour of the four you spent at their house.

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12. They taught you to appreciate every moment you are given

Remember when you were given a curfew and you had to cram all those activities planned into a three hour time frame? They were there with you during the days where you needed to make every minute count. Even on the days out that your parents weren’t aware of, you found the time to grab ice cream, cruise the mall and still be back in time to be home “after school”. This tended to happen especially when you were grounded.

13. They taught you to be okay with the camera and love your selfies.

Most of your profile pictures from MySpace and Facebook were the outcome of times spent in photo booths and testing your new phone’s camera. They taught you to love your photos and how you look.

14. They were there to celebrate the first big step in your life: graduation

Though this seems like a small celebration now that you have your busy adult lives to worry about, it was the first step to the rest of your lives. They were there to share it with you, walk across that stage, move their tassel and throw their hats with you. They celebrated with you before with your families, and after with your friends. They cried with you during the speeches and jumped for joy when they announced your class.

15. They make sure you never feel alone.

It doesn’t matter if you are going to school across the world from each other or are going to the same school for the same major, they are there for you. They are there to make sure everything is still okay in your life and that you’re not on the verge of a mental breakdown. You can call them at 4am and cry about how you wasted several years of you life on something stupid or text them for a quick beer and wings date. They will be there.

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Even though high school was a small portion of your long life, you ended up with at least one friend you can send a thank you card to for being so awesome. That one friend, in my opinion, is better than many acquaintances.

Featured photo credit: Dan Anderson via flickr.com

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Margielyn Musser

Event And Volunteer Coordinator / World Traveler

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Last Updated on January 24, 2021

How to Say No When You Know You Say Yes Too Often

How to Say No When You Know You Say Yes Too Often

Do you say yes so often that you no longer feel that your own needs are being met? Are you wondering how to say no to people?

For years, I was a serial people pleaser[1]. Known as someone who would step up, I would gladly make time, especially when it came to volunteering for certain causes. I proudly carried this role all through grade school, college, even through law school. For years, I thought saying “no” meant I would disappoint a good friend or someone I respected.

But somewhere along the way, I noticed I wasn’t quite living my life. Instead, I seem to have created a schedule that was a strange combination of meeting the expectations of others, what I thought I should be doing, and some of what I actually wanted to do. The result? I had a packed schedule that left me overwhelmed and unfulfilled.

It took a long while, but I learned the art of saying no. Saying no meant I no longer catered fully to everyone else’s needs and could make more room for what I really wanted to do. Instead of cramming too much in, I chose to pursue what really mattered. When that happened, I became a lot happier.

And guess what? I hardly disappointed anyone.

The Importance of Saying No

When you learn the art of saying no, you begin to look at the world differently. Rather than seeing all of the things you could or should be doing (and aren’t doing), you start to look at how to say yes to what’s important.

In other words, you aren’t just reacting to what life throws at you. You seek the opportunities that move you to where you want to be.

Successful people aren’t afraid to say no. Oprah Winfrey, considered one of the most successful women in the world, confessed that it was much later in life when she learned how to say no. Even after she had become internationally famous, she felt she had to say yes to virtually everything.

Being able to say no also helps you manage your time better.

Warren Buffett views “no” as essential to his success. He said:

“The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.”

When I made “no” a part of my toolbox, I drove more of my own success, focusing on fewer things and doing them well.

How We Are Pressured to Say Yes

It’s no wonder a lot of us find it hard to say no.

From an early age, we are conditioned to say yes. We said yes probably hundreds of times in order to graduate from high school and then get into college. We said yes to find work, to get a promotion, to find love and then yes again to stay in a relationship. We said yes to find and keep friends.

We say yes because we feel good when we help someone, because it can seem like the right thing to do, because we think that is key to success, and because the request might come from someone who is hard to resist.

And that’s not all. The pressure to say yes doesn’t just come from others. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves.

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At work, we say yes because we compare ourselves to others who seem to be doing more than we are. Outside of work, we say yes because we are feeling bad that we aren’t doing enough to spend time with family or friends.

The message, no matter where we turn, is nearly always, “You really could be doing more.” The result? When people ask us for our time, we are heavily conditioned to say yes.

How Do You Say No Without Feeling Guilty?

Deciding to add the word “no” to your toolbox is no small thing. Perhaps you already say no, but not as much as you would like. Maybe you have an instinct that if you were to learn the art of no that you could finally create more time for things you care about.

But let’s be honest, using the word “no” doesn’t come easily for many people.

3 Rules of Thumbs for Saying No

1. You Need to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

Let’s face it. It is hard to say no. Setting boundaries around your time, especially you haven’t done it much in the past, will feel awkward. Your comfort zone is “yes,” so it’s time to challenge that and step outside that.

If you need help getting out of your comfort zone, check out this article.

2. You Are the Air Traffic Controller of Your Time

When you want to learn how to say no, remember that you are the only one who understands the demands for your time. Think about it: who else knows about all of the demands in your life? No one.

Only you are at the center of all of these requests. You are the only one that understands what time you really have.

3. Saying No Means Saying Yes to Something That Matters

When we decide not to do something, it means we can say yes to something else that we may care more about. You have a unique opportunity to decide how you spend your precious time.

6 Ways to Start Saying No

Incorporating that little word “no” into your life can be transformational. Turning some things down will mean you can open doors to what really matters. Here are some essential tips to learn the art of no:

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1. Check in With Your Obligation Meter

One of the biggest challenges to saying no is a feeling of obligation. Do you feel you have a responsibility to say yes and worry that saying no will reflect poorly on you?

Ask yourself whether you truly have the duty to say yes. Check your assumptions or beliefs about whether you carry the responsibility to say yes. Turn it around and instead ask what duty you owe to yourself.

2. Resist the Fear of Missing out (FOMO)

Do you have a fear of missing out (FOMO)? FOMO can follow us around in so many ways. At work, we volunteer our time because we fear we won’t move ahead. In our personal lives, we agree to join the crowd because of FOMO, even while we ourselves aren’t enjoying the fun.

Check in with yourself. Are you saying yes because of FOMO or because you really want to say yes? More often than not, running after fear doesn’t make us feel better[2].

3. Check Your Assumptions About What It Means to Say No

Do you dread the reaction you will get if you say no? Often, we say yes because we worry about how others will respond or because of the consequences. We may be afraid to disappoint others or think we will lose their respect. We often forget how much we are disappointing ourselves along the way.

Keep in mind that saying no can be exactly what is needed to send the right message that you have limited time. In the tips below, you will see how to communicate your no in a gentle and loving way.

You might disappoint someone initially, but drawing a boundary can bring you the freedom you need so that you can give freely of yourself when you truly want to. And it will often help others have more respect for you and your boundaries, not less.

4. When the Request Comes in, Sit on It

Sometimes, when we are in the moment, we instinctively agree. The request might make sense at first. Or we typically have said yes to this request in the past.

Give yourself a little time to reflect on whether you really have the time or can do the task properly. You may decide the best option is to say no. There is no harm in giving yourself the time to decide.

5. Communicate Your “No” with Transparency and Kindness

When you are ready to tell someone no, communicate your decision clearly. The message can be open and honest[3] to ensure the recipient that your reasons have to do with your limited time.

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How do you say no? 9 Healthy Ways to Say “No”

    Resist the temptation not to respond or communicate all. But do not feel obligated to provide a lengthy account about why you are saying no.

    Clear communication with a short explanation is all that is needed. I have found it useful to tell people that I have many demands and need to be careful with how I allocate my time. I will sometimes say I really appreciate that they came to me and for them to check in again if the opportunity arises another time.

    6. Consider How to Use a Modified No

    If you are under pressure to say yes but want to say no, you may want to consider downgrading a “yes” to a “yes but…” as this will give you an opportunity to condition your agreement to what works best for you.

    Sometimes, the condition can be to do the task, but not in the time frame that was originally requested. Or perhaps you can do part of what has been asked.

    Final Thoughts

    Beginning right now, you can change how you respond to requests for your time. When the request comes in, take yourself off autopilot where you might normally say yes.

    Use the request as a way to draw a healthy boundary around your time. Pay particular attention to when you place certain demands on yourself.

    Try it now. Say no to a friend who continues to take advantage of your goodwill. Or, draw the line with a workaholic colleague and tell them you will complete the project, but not by working all weekend. You’ll find yourself much happier.

    More Tips on How to Say No

    Featured photo credit: Chris Ainsworth via unsplash.com

    Reference

    [1] Science of People: 11 Expert Tips to Stop Being a People Pleaser and Start Doing You
    [2] Anxiety and Depression Association of America: Tips to Get Over Your FOMO, or Fear of Missing Out
    [3] Cooks Hill Counseling: 9 Healthy Ways to Say “No”

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