Advertising
Advertising

15 Powerful Relationship Lessons From Happy And Loving Couples

15 Powerful Relationship Lessons From Happy And Loving Couples

I hang out with a group of couples who have been with their spouse or partner for 10 years or more.

We all seem to be happy and loving people. Of course our relationships are far from perfect, but somehow we all have decided to make this journey with our significant other, for better or worse.Here are 15 relationship lessons we practice to keep our relationships healthy, happy, and loving.

1. Genuinely like each other.

You have to like the person you are with because to be honest, the intense “in-love” feelings may not always be there. Some days you want to kill your partner, but what stops you is the feeling that you actually like this person.

Crazy talk aside, when it comes down to spending hours upon hours with a single person, liking them becomes very important.

When you say you “like” someone, what you’re really saying is, “he or she is cool to hang out with, they don’t get on my nerves all that much, and to tell you the truth, I feel good when I’m around them.”

2. Enjoy the sense of humor you share.

I find that each couple has their own sense of humor.  They each find the other funny and laugh at the same things that perhaps others wouldn’t find as humorous.

This commonality is something to be valued because finding someone that can make you laugh, especially when things are tough, can be the glue that makes you stick and stay.

3. Cherish the good in the other person.

Focusing on the good traits of your partner will increase your loving feelings for them which may help you overlook the annoying things they do. Because there’s no perfect person, but what there can be is your positive perception of that person.

Also, I have found when you focus on the wonderful qualities of a person, you start seeing more of those qualities come out.

Advertising

4. Birds of a feather, flock together.

Men and women who want and are drawn to be in long-term relationships hangout together.  Couples, who do “couples activity” with other couples create friendships and a bond that acts as a support system for the overall health of all relationships involved.

Your couple friends will be there to share the good times. They will also be there to comfort and support the both of you when and if that situation ever arises.

5. Use your words.

I know there’s some science to back my next statement because it’s the honest truth.

Men cannot read minds. Women on the other hand can, especially if they’re related. Therefore when men and women talk, they must use their words.

Joking aside, the healthiest relationships are the ones who communicate well with each other.

I believe both men and women must clearly ask for what they want from their partner in order to receive it.

For example, my boyfriend knows, if I ask for 12 lemons for a 12 lemon center piece, he will bring 12 lemons home. (Share this post if you know my movie reference!)

More importantly, couples who say what they mean in a loving way get to the heart of an issue and find a way to resolve it.

6. Cultivate your individual existence.

The healthiest relationships are where each person has their own lives. Build a life together, but don’t lose yourself and your individual purpose.

Advertising

Healthy couples support each other in their individual interests such as hobbies, sport activities, or meaningful work.

When a person has a purpose and a sense of meaning to their life, they behave in a more positive and loving way to their partners and other people in general.

7. Take responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, and actions.

At any moment in time, you can change your thought, mood, and reaction for the better. Your partner may not always do the right thing, but you have the power to react in a more positive way no matter the situation.

Acting positively and lovingly towards a situation will bring about a more productive resolution.

8. Let them be.

Don’t be afraid to give each other a “cooling-off” period. Not everything needs to be resolved right there and then.

Let each person find their own understanding of a situation so that they can hopefully return with some sense and compassion.

9. Spend time apart.

Nobody likes anybody who is underfoot too long. It is healthy to spend time away from each other.

My boyfriend and I did a long distance thing for three years in the middle of our relationship and I believe it only made our bond stronger.

Let each other enjoy a weekend away with friends and find your own relationship rekindled upon their return.

Advertising

10. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

One of the best things you can do for a long-term relationship is to not be bothered by the idiosyncrasies of the other person.

There are some things in a person that may never change and you just have to accept that. Yes, you may think your partner was raised in a barn, but he or she is still the one you want in your little universe.

Be quick to forgive dumb, maybe even thoughtless mistakes because as long as it doesn’t make you distrust the person or question your entire relationship, then it can all be worked out with some understanding, compassion, and compromise.

11. Act like a team.

This is one of the lessons that I believe can really help a relationship survive and thrive.

When you know that your partner has your proverbial back, you feel a kind of peace. A sense that you’re not alone, that someone else is looking out for your best interest, and that feels amazing.

A lot of my couple friends own businesses with their spouse and in my observation it brings them closer together. Owning a business with someone teaches you about cooperation, compromise, and the importance of making a decision together.

12. Show your appreciation.

The words “thank you” should be said as often as possible because everyone likes to feel appreciated and respected.

Day in and day out, your partner is always doing something in the name of love and family and that should not go unnoticed. From making dinner, working long hours, and performing simple acts of kindness, give your gratitude.

It’s a universal truth. The more you say thank you to what the universe offers you, the more you receive those kind of things.

Advertising

13. Say I love you and show it.

No matter how long you’ve been together, always tell your partner you love them because this short, but meaningful sentence could have such an impact on their day.

For instance, these simple words may be the best thing they hear all day. It can make them feel honored, safe, appreciated, and wanted. By just saying these three little words, you can give these wonderful feelings to each other.

Then show one another the love you feel with small acts of kindness or big gestures of devotion. No matter how you do it, the point is that you do it.

14. Spend romantic time together.

Spending romantic time together is different from the other times you’re spending with each other. Romantic time implies that your sole focus is to connect romantically with your partner and this is very important if you want the fires of love to burn for eternity.

I love the saying, “The grass is greener where your water it.” So if you want the love between the both of you to last, you have to take care of that lawn like it’s the Bermuda grass of the Carolinas.

In plain English, date night is a must-do.

15. It’s about the journey.

You will walk in the sunshine together. You will hold each other tight during a freak storm. Sometimes you will even dance in the rain together.

All that matters is no matter the weather, you will expectantly share the experience together.

But if there comes a time that you don’t, hopefully you’ve done all of the above so you know that you gave it your best, and you showed them how big you can love.

More by this author

18 Things You Need To Tell Yourself Every Day When You Wake Up 15 Signs You Are Living Up To Your Potential (Though You Don’t Know You Are) Why Some Couples Fall Out Of Love 15 Things Socially Skillful People Don’t Do This Is How You Can Get People To Take You Seriously

Trending in Communication

1 30 Books Everyone Should Read At Least Once In Their Lives 2 7 Things To Remember When You Feel Broken Inside 3 10 Uplifting Positive Affirmation Apps That Help You Re-Center on the Go 4 9 Self Limiting Beliefs That Are Holding You Back from Success 5 What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on July 23, 2019

30 Books Everyone Should Read At Least Once In Their Lives

30 Books Everyone Should Read At Least Once In Their Lives

The greatest books are defined as classics for a reason. Written by the greatest literary minds of their time, they have universal themes, characters, experiences, emotions and perspectives that are still relevant today. Some of them are the very inspiration from which entire modern genres of literary fiction have sprung up from.

If you love reading, here’s a perfect reading list for you. Even if you aren’t so much into reading, here’re 10 reasons to love reading.

Everyone should read at least once for these 30 books — some are well known classics, others are modern giants.  All are well worth reading at least once in your life!

1. To Kill a Mockingbird, by Harper Lee

50-anniversary-cover1

    Published in 1960, this timeless classic explores human behaviour and the collective conscience of The Deep South in the early 20th century. Humour entwines the delicate strands of prejudice, hatred, hypocrisy, love and innocence to create one of the best novels ever written.

    Print | eBook | Audiobook

    2. 1984, by George Orwell

    1984

      Although 1984 has passed us by, George Orwell’s dystopian, totalitarian world of control, fear and lies has never been more relevant. Delve into the life of Winston Smith as he struggles with his developing human nature in a world where individuality, freewill and love are forbidden.

      Print | eBook | Audiobook

      3. Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, by J.K. Rowling

      harry_potter_and_the_Sorcerers_stone_adult_usa

        I’m willing to bet you’ve heard of Harry Potter, but have you read the books? Join Harry Potter as he begins his journey into the world of magic, where he is the celebrated Boy Who Lived. Visit Hogwarts, meet your favourite characters and watch Harry grow into the one of the most famous literary characters in the world.

        Print | eBook | Audiobook

        4. The Lord of the Rings, by J.R.R. Tolkien

        9780618640157_custom-s6-c30

          Middle Earth is a wonderful, expansive fantasy world filled with turmoil, heroes, evil and innocence. Although our protagonist Frodo Baggins’ quest seems impossible to complete, this trilogy is a tale of triumph in the most impossible circumstances.

          Print | eBook | Audiobook

          5. The Great Gatsby, by F. Scott Fitzgerald

          Penguin-2

            Published in 1925, Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby explores the decadence of the Jazz Age, and one man’s introduction into a world where even those with the most indulgent lives cannot earn love.

            Print | eBook | Audiobook

            6. Pride and Prejudice, by Jane Austen

            pride_and_prejudice_book_cover_by_fourblackbirds-d533108

              One of the most famous novels of all time, Pride And Prejudice details the courtship of two opposed characters in a world where manners and courtesy are of the utmost importance.

              Advertising

              Print | eBook | Audiobook

              7. The Diary Of A Young Girl, by Anne Frank

              diary-of-anne-frank-postcard-front_0

                Unforgettable and deeply influential, Anne Frank’s diary is a raw account of a young girl’s life as she hides from the Nazis. Despite her circumstances, Anne believes that people are still good at heart and that the world is full of beauty: she will change your life.

                Print | eBook | Audiobook

                8. The Book Thief, by Markus Zusak

                71h2sjik5al-_sl1380_

                  Set in Germany during 1939, The Book Thief follows Liesel as she rescues books from the tyranny of Nazi rule. Meanwhile, her family has hidden a Jewish fighter in their basement and death looks down on the family, narrating our tale. Experience bravery that is rarely found in the world, and friendship that is formed in the most unlikely of situations.

                  Print | eBook | Audiobook

                  9. The Hobbit, by J.R.R. Tolkien

                  Hobbit_book

                    Although the movies are inexplicably long, The Hobbit was originally written as a short children’s book. Meet your favourite characters for the first time as the unforgettable Bilbo Baggins traverses the harsh landscapes of Middle Earth to challenge a dragon.

                    Print | eBook | Audiobook

                    10. Little Women, by Louisa May Alcott

                    9780147514011

                      Join four sisters, each with their own prominent personality, as they come of age in charming 19th Century New England. Experience their struggles and revel in their flaws, as these girls become strong women.

                      Print | eBook | Audiobook

                      11. Fahrenheit 451, by Ray Bradbury

                      tumblr_nd4wnpO3ZS1tv8vcro1_r1_1280

                        Books are forbidden, and it is our main character Guy Montag’s job to burn any books he comes across. Often compared to George Orwell’s 1984, Ray Bradbury’s dystopian world is an unsettling commentary on Western societies’ addiction and dependence on the media and conformity.

                        Print | eBook | Audiobook

                        12. Jane Eyre, by Charlotte Bronte

                        cvr9781416500247_9781416500247_hr

                          Arguably one of the most influential fictional heroines of all time, Jane Eyre is a strong, unbroken women despite her troubled childhood and repressed Victorian society.
                          Print | eBook | Audiobook

                          13. Animal Farm, by George Orwell

                          Advertising

                          Print

                            This famous 1945 satire, examines the realistic risks of revolution and the dynamics animals will inevitably give in to.

                            Print | eBook | Audiobook

                            14. Gone with the Wind, by Margaret Mitchell

                            gone-with-the-wind

                              Set in The South during The Civil War, chances are if you love the movie you’ll love the book. Although the main character and the world she lives in is loathsome, readers’ opinions are twisted as this novel dishes out a fated justice when both Scarlett and The South lose their wars.

                              Print | eBook | Audiobook

                              15. The Catcher in the Rye, by J.D. Salinger

                              97803167694881

                                Starring the original cynical adolescent, The Catcher In The Rye explores the challenges and isolation of adolescence. Decipher your own message as you follow sixteen-year-old Holden Caulfield, in this novel that has split audiences for decades.

                                PrintAudiobook

                                16. Charlotte’s Web, by E.B. White

                                image_35

                                  Team up with Charlotte, a loving and generous spider, and Fern, a farmers daughter as they try to save Wilbur the piglet from becoming breakfast. Charlotte’s Web is a compelling reminder to bask in the simplistic wonders of everyday life, and to be kind to all living creatures.

                                  Print | eBook | Audiobook

                                  17. The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, by C.S. Lewis

                                  il_fullxfull.346024210

                                    Another renowned fantasy world, Narnia is the home of hundreds of magnificent creatures each with their own origins, morals and ideals. Let you imagination run wild as you enter the wardrobe and meet some of the most famous literary characters in history.

                                    Print | eBook | Audiobook

                                    18. The Grapes of Wrath, by John Steinbeck

                                    9780141185064

                                      Published in 1939, this novel set during The Great Depression follows one Oklahoma family as they are forced to travel to California. Experience America in a tale where it’s people are divided into the haves and have-nots, the powerful and the powerless.

                                      Print | eBook | Audiobook

                                      19. Lord of the Flies, by William Golding

                                      previous_Lord_of_the_Flies

                                        This classic novel follows the lives of boys marooned on an island as they regress into savages; and their beautiful, enjoyable island existence collapses into a primitive and cruel nightmare.

                                        Advertising

                                        Print | eBook | Audiobook

                                        20. The Kite Runner, by Khaled Hosseini

                                        kiterunner

                                          A story of true friendship, The Kite Runner follows Amir as he tries to find the only true friend he’s ever had – despite abandoning him due to ethnic and religious differences that were prominent in Kabul, Afghanistan.

                                          Print | eBook | Audiobook

                                          21. Of Mice and Men, by John Steinbeck

                                          bookcover2

                                            Of Mice And Men is a complex story of a friendship between two migrant workers: George Milton and Lennie Small, in California. Watch their friendship develop as the pair work towards their modest dreams of owning their own land and pets.

                                            Print | eBook | Audiobook

                                            22. A Tale of Two Cities, by Charles Dickens

                                            twocities

                                              Following eighteen years as a political prisoner, Dr Manette is released and returns to England with his daughter Lucie. There, two very different men fall in love with Lucie and become entwined in a tale of love and sacrifice.

                                              Print | eBook | Audiobook

                                              23. Romeo and Juliet, by William Shakespeare

                                              cvr9781451621709_9781451621709_hr

                                                Perhaps the most famous love story ever written, Romeo and Juliet is an epic tragedy that explores the euphoria of desire and the tragedy of revenge.

                                                Print | eBook | Audiobook

                                                24. The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, by Douglas Adams

                                                h2g2-01 copy

                                                  Grab a towel and accompany human Arthur Dent on a fantastic adventure across the galaxy. Learn not to take the universe so seriously and forget any meaning you’ve applied to anything in your life, because we all know the real meaning of life is 42.

                                                  Print | eBook | Audiobook

                                                  25. Wuthering Heights, by Emily Bronte

                                                  216215

                                                    Published in 1847, this passionate and harrowing story of love, rivalry and revenge follows Catherine Earnshaw and her father’s adopted foundling Heathcliff as they grow into very different adults.

                                                    Print | eBook | Audiobook

                                                    Advertising

                                                    26. The Color Purple, by Alice Walker

                                                    purple

                                                      Winner of multiple awards, The Color Purple is a devastating tale that tackles the lives of colored women in 1930s USA. Censored and challenged, the harsh reality displayed in The Color Purple will leave you shaken.

                                                      Print | eBook | Audiobook

                                                      27. Alice in Wonderland, by Lewis Carroll

                                                      alice_cover

                                                        Bizarre and curious, Alice In Wonderland explores the potential of imagination and the reality of fiction. If you’re a fan of escaping the real world, this is definitely the book for you.

                                                        Print | eBook | Audiobook

                                                        28. Frankenstein, by Mary Shelley

                                                        frankenstein_book_cover_by_mario0357-d6rszr0

                                                          A combination of gothic thriller, cautionary tale and romance novel, Frankenstein is a story like no other. Written by Mary Shelley when she was just eighteen, Frankenstein prompts readers to ask themselves some truly shattering questions: what makes us human? What do we owe to one another as living creatures? How far can science push the boundaries of nature?

                                                          Print | eBook | Audiobook

                                                          29. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, by Mark Twain

                                                          Huck-Fin

                                                            Often titled The Great American Novel, The Adventures Of Huckleberry Finn is a deep and complex tale of friendship, adolescence and shifting societal norms.

                                                            Print | eBook | Audiobook

                                                            30. Slaughterhouse-Five, by Kurt Vonnegut

                                                            9780385333849_custom-s6-c30

                                                              Although Vonnegut himself admits there are few characters or confrontations in this book, the impact of his novel is undeniable.

                                                              We travel through life with our protagonist Billy Pilgrim as he experiences World War II from a rather unique perspective – that is, he’s been abducted from his home planet of Tralfamadore. Rich and deeply funny, this tale aims to discourage us from war and murder that the authorities force the public into.

                                                              Print | eBook | Audiobook

                                                              Featured photo credit: Prasanna Kumar via unsplash.com

                                                              Read Next