Advertising
Advertising

15 Love Spells To Keep The Love Alive In Marriage

15 Love Spells To Keep The Love Alive In Marriage

Every marriage goes through cycles. Here are some tips to keeping the love alive in your marriage:

1. Prioritize

On any given day, there are a million distractions: A child wakes up with a temperature, your boss moves a deadline up a week, or you’ve gotten sucked into the black hole of Buzzfeed quizzes. At the time, you really thought the priority was finding out which “Saved by the Bell” character you are.

To make marriage work, spouses must prioritize each other above all else. Take time each day to check in and give them your full attention.

2. Anticipate — and Ride Out — the Waves

Given our obsession with reality shows that focus on the wedding day and not the years of marriage that follow, many people mistakenly think marriage is one big party. It’s not. And the sooner you realize that, and accept it and commit to staying in it during even the rough times, the sooner your marriage will benefit.

Advertising

3. Schedule Time Together

Sure, that might not sound romantic, but it’s really the one way to ensure quality time. Time together could be as simple as eating together after the kids have gone to bed or scheduling a date night every couple of weeks (sans kids).

4. Give a Gift

Everyone loves getting a gift, but giving presents can be equally joyful. Even a small token, like a six pack of his favorite beer or a smoothie from her favorite café, can show appreciation.

If gift giving doesn’t come naturally to you, this gift giving guide will help steer you in the right direction.

5. Do Something Laughable

We’ve all heard that laughter is the best medicine, and it’s a salve for your marriage as well. Watching a funny movie or going to a comedy show are obvious ways to laugh together, but finding humor in everyday life is just as important.

Advertising

6. Reach Out and Touch Someone

OK, don’t touch someone else, touch your spouse. Obviously, sex is an important part of any marriage. But small moments of affection are crucial as well: dance, hold hands, kiss when you get home from work. These small efforts build a strong foundation of intimacy.

7. Relive the Beginning

Sometimes the hearts and flowers kind of romance that defined your early relationship seems like a distant memory. Break out the photo album, revisit early date spots, or tell these stories to your kids. Remembering what connected you at the start can help see you through.

8. Every Interaction Counts

Grand gestures and romantic dates are special, but they are not the roots of a relationship. Daily — even hourly — kindness, communication and respect about all of the “little things” of life often means there won’t be as many “big things” to confront later.

9. Open Your Ears

Part of solid communication is active listening. You need to confirm that you’ve heard your partner and understand their point of view before you can try to work out a problem or conflict.

Advertising

10.  Let It Go, Say You’re Sorry, Accept Apologies

We’re all tired of hearing that ubiquitous Disney song “Let It Go.” But it’s not a bad mantra in a marriage. There are going to be conflicts and most of the time they are trivial. When you need to, say “I’m sorry.” When your spouse says he/she is sorry, say “I accept your apology.” Simple as that.

11.  Create Something Together

You might be thinking, “Um, we’ve already done that, and they’re called children.” Point taken. But working together as a team will help you connect to each other as you work to accomplish a joint goal. Paint a canvas to hang in the spare bedroom, cook a new recipe together for dinner, start a two-person book club — these are all simple ways you can remind yourselves that you are a team.

12. Get Active

Sometimes getting out of your comfort zone and sweating a little is all you need to reignite the spark. A hike down a local trail or a spinning class at the local gym is a great way to have a shared experience and stay connected.

13. Be Grateful

No matter how solid you think your friend’s/neighbor’s/co-worker’s marriage is, it’s a relationship death knell to compare one to another. Be grateful that you’ve found a person to share your life with and make your marriage the best it can be.

Advertising

14. Try Something New

A cooking class, a day trip to a new town, an arcade visit — having a new experience will bond you and create new memories.

15.  Repeat

None of these tips are one and done. There is no silver bullet to a love-filled marriage. Sticking to your goals of strengthening your marriage and being a true partner is a life-long endeavor. Go kiss your spouse!

Featured photo credit: Carli Jean Miller via carlijeenco.com

More by this author

20 Money-Saving Hacks for Parents 20 Things All Mothers Need to Hear 12 Jaw-Dropping Vacation Spots That Will Leave You Awestruck The 20 Most Enjoyable Companies to Work For 40 Creative Ads That Will Inspire You

Trending in Communication

1 4 Types of Toxic People and How to Deal with Them 2 Why We Lose Motivation Once in a While and How to Fix It 3 Why You Need to Ask for Feedback…and How to Use It 4 6 Challenges in Life You Must Overcome to Become a Better Person 5 What Is Self-Image (And How to Change It for a Happier Life)

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Published on October 7, 2019

4 Types of Toxic People and How to Deal with Them

4 Types of Toxic People and How to Deal with Them

Can a person really be toxic? Well, a toxic person does not refer to those who are affected by the virus or toxic. To be precise, toxic people are those who are very unsupportive, abusive and unhealthy in nature. Their behavior is filled with venom and you will not feel any sort of gentle breeze in their words.

In this article, you will learn how to spot out a toxic person, and what you can do to deal with them.

Signs of Toxic People

To make it more obvious, I have added some signs of toxic people below.

Manipulative Behavior And Fabricated Mind

Toxic people are unable to deal with the bitter truth firmly. If you are going to blurt out their fabrications with proof, they will try to change the whole matter with their manipulative behavior. They will titillate you with sensitive words or they will try to frighten you to get rid of the problems.

Inhuman And Merciless in Nature

We know that sharing our thoughts with friends will keep us in good mental state. But, if you are not getting fruitful outcomes, you have to understand that you are spending time with toxic friends.

Toxic people do not know how to put themselves in other’s shoes. They just put on a mask of simplicity. But, in reality, they don’t have feelings for you. Therefore, you should stop sharing your valuable time with them as you will get nothing except annoyance and silence.

Hypocrisy at Its Best in Their Nature

Toxic people have a great hunger for respect, adoration, and fidelity. After dignifying them with these valuable elements, you will get nothing; you will be cheated, manipulated and criticized by them. And, if you are not willing to listen to them, you will be controlled by guilt-tripping.

Advertising

Emotional Outburst And Pathological Excuses

Toxic people always want to see themselves in the positive end. Therefore, to get their job done, they always have an emotional outburst and emotional excuse to make an impulsive impression upon you.

We do mistakes and it is our duty to accept those mistakes. But, toxic people have their own rules, they have a tendency to present themselves rationally even after committing a mistake. If someone tries to expose themselves with facts, they show no embarrassment and use emotional excuses as a shield.

Play with Your Emotion And Gradually Erode It

Toxic people always try to condescend you with critical jokes and when you try to elicit your thoughts, they just burst out laughing. Teasing becomes an important element in your relationship with toxic person. They even give you backhanded compliments to belittle you.

Thus, using their toxic mindset, they just gradually diminish your abilities as well as intelligence. And you will have nothing left in your hand other than putting up with these things to maintain the silence.

Well, you probably might have not seen all these signs in one person as there are different types of toxic people roaming around you.

4 Types of Toxic People

To understand it better, I’m mentioning the different types of toxic people here.

1. Conversational Narcissist

There are some toxic people who do not know how to give importance to others. They will talk about themselves but never ask you about your condition; they will only recall you when they need you or they are facing some sort of problems.

Advertising

2. Emotional Vampires

These vampires do not suck your blood but dissipate your emotion. They always talk negatively about everyone and compel you to think in the same pattern that they follow. They mask themselves in such a way in front of you that you gradually start giving importance to them. But, ultimately, you will not get any positive outcome from them.

3. Monsters with Green eyes

As discussed earlier, toxic people will give you backhanded compliments. Basically, these are called monsters with green eyes. These monsters feel happy when you feel sad. Therefore, they will always try to belittle your achievements, intelligence, and strengths. Along with it, they give compliments with some negativity in it.

4. Black-Eyed Cats

These cats always do mew-mew and try to control everything around them. They love to be pampered but, they do not like if someone goes against them.

If you are in a relationship with such persons, you will be nagged until you are giving them complete satisfaction. In a nutshell, it must be said that you have to align yourself with them if you want to live with them. But, ultimately, you will lose your mental, conversational and emotional freedom.

How to Deal with Toxic People

Living with problems is more convenient than living with toxic people. But, toxic people are parasites and therefore, you will see these monsters rambling around you wherever you go.

However, if you know how to deal with them, it would be very helpful for you and your life would be much easier to live. We have added some tips to assist you, just check these out.

Get Rid of Intermittent Reinforcement

We are very optimistic in nature and over the time, this optimism has reached to such a level that we can happily put up with the ‘close losses’ instead of trying to catch the ‘near wins’.

Advertising

B.F Skinner once did an experiment with three rats. He put them in different cages attached with levers. The lever delivered food when it was pressed. In the 1st cage, the lever always delivered food when the rat pressed it. In case of the 2nd cage, food was never delivered by the lever even after pressing it, therefore, the rat understood the lesson and never tried to get food. But, in the third cage, the lever delivered food randomly and as a result, the rat was completely hooked and fixated. He constantly pushed it but didn’t get the food always.

Well, this is called intermittent relationship and the same thing happens in human relationships where toxic people give you intermittent reinforcement and your heart gets pumped up with optimism. As a result, you will be hooked and your life will be fixated at some point with toxic people.

You should learn to move on without them and live your life happily because random happiness cannot bring permanent relief.

Never Make Too Many Allowances And Pardons

Well, sympathetic attitude is very good and it is also a fact that sometimes toxic people suffer from genuine depression, physical as well as mental illness. But, you have to set a boundary and you cannot allow people to get away with anything so easily.

If you make too many allowances as well as pardons, it would not be good for you in the long-term. Yes, there are some people who are facing extreme hardships and they are not even toxic in nature. But, all you can do is show some genuine compassion keeping yourself within the boundaries.

Always Try to Ignore Their Toxic Traps

Demotivational words are the primary weapon that they frequently use in their implications to detract you. Along with this, they throw words in such a way that you start feeling guilty. Well, you must understand that these are just toxic traps and you should not step on it.

Always remember that you will have full access to freedom if you stop taking things personally. They not only do this with you but also with everyone. You just have to keep in mind that these toxic words are not based on truth but on their own mental reproduction. So, you just have to ignore this and focus on your work.

Advertising

Show Them Your Beautiful Smile Not the Curves on Your Forehead

Toxic people have an aptitude to attack mentally, mock disgracefully and diminish shamefully. But, you will not be affected if you don’t surrender yourself. Show them that you are not getting belittled or insulted.

We all have our problems and we also know that we are capable of solving these problems. Therefore, the matter entirely depends upon us and if we don’t allow these vampires to enter into our life or play with our emotions, they cannot suck our happiness. So, I’d suggest you show your beautiful smile when they buzz around you.

Don’t Suppress Yourself

Toxic people will intimidate, bully, pass guilt, and forcefully take money from you to get their job done. They know very well that they are doing wrong and at the same time, they are acquainted with the concept that we are incapable of doing anything against them.

Most of the time, we keep ourselves quiet until someone speaks up. And because of this suppressive mindset, we are gradually being dragged into their mind games.

Well, we have to change this concept as it infuses courage into them. We need to obstruct them with firm minds and make them realize the negative consequences of their behavior.[1] If they are upsetting you, just tell them directly. Your direct statement might open a new gate of opportunity that will allow you to help them if they are suffering from genuine problems.

So, why are you still tolerating these toxic people? Follow the tips mentioned above and deal with them in the right way.

Featured photo credit: Devin Avery via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Tips for Grooming: Change Your Fixed Negative Belief

Read Next