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15 Books All 20 Somethings Should Read To Know More About The World

15 Books All 20 Somethings Should Read To Know More About The World

Fresh shoots tentatively probe the air while their roots have yet to find purchase. The more firmly they are rooted, the more boldly they stretch their new leaves toward the sun. So it is with the intellect of youth. As yet unburdened by the life-weary prejudices of their seniors, their powerful imaginations and desire for knowledge are unguided by the wisdom which can only be attained with experience.

Books are a short cut to experience. Books merge centuries together, granting the wisdom of ages to those with the strength of will to grasp it. People in their twenties can bring meaning and direction to their lives by learning through literature, how others have coped with this difficult time of life.

These 15 books will help you transcend the your experiences and gain a deeper understanding of human nature – and who you want to be:

1. Hamlet – William Shakespeare

hamlet

    Don’t be put off by the fact that this is Shakespeare’s longest play. For hundreds of years, actors, writers and critics have celebrated this as one of the greatest works in human history. Four centuries years after it was written and Hamlet remains as relevant to young people as it ever was. By setting the play in Denmark about 1000 years before he was born, Shakespeare ensured that it remains eternal, belonging to the ages.

    Prince Hamlet has been an inspirational figure for generations; a brilliant young man, tortured by indecision, existential angst and the frustration of a humiliating fate.

    The skill with which Shakespeare depicts psychological themes such as madness, vengeance, love, suicide, duty and emotional torment are timeless. If ever you have felt it hard to describe the internal strife of youth, then you will find a kindred spirit in Prince Hamlet of Denmark.

    2. The Odyssey – Homer

    homer

      Like Hamlet, The Odyssey depicts a noble young man missing his Father and lamenting the fact that he is too young to defend his family’s honour. The young Telemachus laments the death of his heroic father Odysseus, who is in fact living in captivity on a faraway island. In his absence, Telemachus must fend off a horde of suitors who, hoping to win his Mother’s affections, have taken up residence in their home and are driving him to poverty with their appetite for food and wine.
      The ancient poem was composed about 2800 years ago and along with The Iliad, represents the beginning of the Western canon. It is amazing to think that all Western literature began with this book, and that the themes remain so compelling to this day. Sex, war and gods are all enjoyable subjects but the deep emotions and noble motivations of the human characters leave a more lasting impression.

      3. Patriotism – Yukio Mishima

      mishima patriot

        A short but powerful Japanese story which presents a dramatically different attitude to love and death than most people in their twenties are accustomed to. Lieutenant Shinji Takeyama and his 23 year old wife, Reiko, both commit ritualistic suicide in response to a mutiny against the Imperial Army. Shinji is implicated by association and out of love for both his emperor and his comrades, chooses to commit seppuku. His devoted and adoring young wife is immediately resolved to join him in death.

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        The short story uses evocative, poetic language to paint a picture of the mundanity of their apartment and the weather outside in contrast to the deeply noble ideals which the couple seek to embody in their extraordinary actions. They make love one final time before death. A scene in which Mishima beautifully portrays the depth of their emotions without compromising the refined dignity of the traditional Japanese culture.

        4. A Confederacy of Dunces – John Kennedy Toole

        confederacyofdunces

          This hilarious, insightful but tragic novel wasn’t published until 11 years after the author, who was convinced he was a failure, had committed suicide. Walker Percy, another great Southern writer of the 20th century, said that the protagonist is “in violent revolt against the entire modern age.”

          The plot revolves around Ignatius J Reilly; a highly articulate and intelligent man at the end of his twenties who, due to his slothful disposition and awkward social habits, is unemployed and living with his Mother in New Orleans. He is a man whose lofty ideals, aristocratic bearing and love of medieval philosophy render him an absurd anomaly in a tacky world in which he is reduced to selling hot dogs on the streets.

          Despite being partially autobiographical, the author pokes fun at Ignatius’ provincial outlook, repressed sexuality and fear of change. This is done in an affectionate way, for the real object of scorn in the novel is not Ignatius, but the society which fails to accommodate him. A must read for any twenty-something who feels trapped in the wrong era.

          5. Notes from Underground – Fyodor Dostoyevsky

          notesfrom

            If ever you have felt socially awkward, introverted or unable to properly assert yourself, then you will sympathize with the protagonist of this famous Russian novella. The existentialist theme and the unnamed protagonist’s inability to act are reminiscent of Hamlet. He is a retired civil servant, paralyzed by his own paranoia, ennui and laziness. It is his own quest for virtue which prevents him from acting and renders him impotent in this sense. He resents self interested altruism and represents rebellion against the cultural dysfunction one inherits with adulthood.

            His obsessive hatred of society and those he sees as representative of it reduce him to a pitiful wretch, incapable of making a difference to the lives of those around him. This short story serves as a warning to those in their twenties who are at times overwhelmed by their dissatisfaction with society. It is better to direct such feelings to practical ends, or else be consumed by them.

            6. A Clockwork Orange – Anthony Burgess

            clockworkorange

              The streets in the dystopian future of this prophetic novel are ruled by gangs of youths for whom rape and theft are a form of entertainment. Time magazine listed it as one of the top 100 novels in the English language. It is particularly relevant to those in their twenties, as it shows not only how the young can be seduced by the allure of drugs, violence and criminality but also that they can find redemption. The book is written from the point of view of Alex, the vicious leader of a gang of rapists, who is also an intelligent and somehow likeable young man.

              His rehabilitation is seized by rival politicians as a means to defame each other. In the end, it is neither social programs nor scientific tests that transform Alex into a functioning member of society, but simply his desire to be good.

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              7. Beyond Good and Evil – Friedrich Nietzsche

              beyondgood

                Reading Nietzsche is one of the best ways that people in their twenties can have their views challenged because he deliberately opposes and attacks all the most deeply held moral convictions of Western society. Whatever your beliefs may be, you are unlikely to agree with everything in this book, but that is the point.

                Nietzsche reveals his vision of the philosopher of the future as the most imaginative, bold and willful type. Abandoning Christianity and denying the existence of any universal morality, he argues that what is good is what gives power to man and raises him up. His work totally revolutionizes philosophy and is therefore particularly attractive for twenty somethings, who looking boldly to the future, wish to dispense with the baggage of convention and falsehood that Western culture has inherited.

                8. The Rum Diary – Hunter S. Thompson

                rumdiary

                  The famously hedonistic journalist, Hunter Thompson, wrote The Rum Diary when he was only 22. Despite his youth, the novel shows his concern with growing old. Semi-autobiographical, the narrative follows a writer named Paul Kemp as he moves from New York to Puerto Rico to work for an expat sports paper.

                  Heavily influenced by Ernest Hemingway, the story reveals the devastating consequences of unrestrained lust and alcoholism. This is particularly poignant when you consider that Thompson remained an addict for his entire life until he committed suicide at the age of 68.

                  9. The Sun Also Rises – Ernest Hemingway

                  hemingway

                    Like The Rum Diary, this novel is about alcoholic expats and was written while the author was in his twenties. Set in Paris and Spain during the roaring twenties, it is regarded as one of the first modernist novels and a classic of American literature.

                    The story follows a group of young American and British friends, all heavy drinkers, during their visit to Spain to watch bullfights and the running of the bulls. Twenty somethings will sympathize with the tempestuous relationships that Hemingway portrays between the characters, which were all based on people he knew.

                    10. The Outsider – Colin Wilson

                    outsider

                      At the age of 24, the philosopher Colin Wilson was sleeping rough in London while writing this book in the reading rooms of the British Museum. Wilson identified with “outsider” protagonists from existentialist novels by authors such as Dostoevsky, Camus and Sartre and thought they may hold the key to a new way of thinking.

                      The book is an attempt to construct a new, more positive existentialist philosophy for the modern age by examining literary characters which are somehow above or outside the society in which they emerge. Many old academics were furious that a brilliant young man had written a hugely popular book which so succinctly identifies the problem of human alienation, even going so far as to posit a spiritual solution. Wilson approaches all art and philosophy not through critical theory or any other tired academic convention, but by asking what it says about the meaning of existence.

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                      11. Tropic of Cancer – Henry Miller

                      millercancer

                        This hugely controversial American novel, first published in France in 1934, was banned in the USA until 1964. Despite sex scenes so explicit that they verge on the pornographic, the book is regarded as a masterpiece of 20th century literature.

                        The semi auto-biographical novel is based on New York born Miller’s time living in Paris. The struggling writer faces homelessness, loneliness and despair over his recent separation from his wife. But there also many positive themes, as Miller illuminates the beauty of experience in his writing. Whether on the subject of sex or food, Miller celebrates physical sensation with an almost religious fervor. This unquenchable thirst for life is extraordinarily valuable to anyone in their twenties.

                        12. 1984 – George Orwell

                        1984

                          Since its publication in 1949, this classic novel has seriously altered the way we talk about politics and government. The dystopian story presents a future in which the entire Western world is ruled by a brutal totalitarian socialist government under which all of history is rewritten to support party policy. Even thoughts against the state are deemed criminal.

                          Twenty somethings should read this book, not only because it is so influential in popular culture, but because it depicts a horrible future which could become a reality. It is important for people in their twenties to be conscious of the value and fragility of their hard won freedoms so that a “1984” state can be prevented.

                          13. The Canterbury Tales – Geoffrey Chaucer

                          canterbury tales

                            You may wonder what relevance 14th century literature has to the lives of twenty somethings today. Give it a chance! The Canterbury Tales is a collection of stories, each one told by a different fictional character whilst on a pilgrimage from London to Canterbury in Kent, England.

                            Each of the charming stories demonstrates the different perceptions of reality held by the very different kinds of characters; from the noble knight to the drunken miller. Each story is a sort of morality tale or fable with a message about sex, love, religion, class or other pressing topics. The issues with which the characters are concerned are often as relevant now as they ever were, proving that some things never change.

                            14. The Descent of Man – Charles Darwin

                            darwin

                              Long gone are the days when everybody believed in Adam and Eve and the seven days of creation. But even though many claim to be scientifically minded, few bother to actually read Darwin’s theory on the origin of mankind. Published 12 years after his extremely controversial “On the Origin of Species”, this is the book that actually answers the question of how the human species came to exist.

                              Nearly a century and a half after it was published, we have discovered DNA, mapped the human genome and made many other scientific discoveries, some of which have rendered parts of Darwin’s book redundant. But the core theory of Darwin’s work; that mankind evolved through natural selection and sexual selection from another apelike organism, remains incontestable.

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                              15. The Divine and the Decay – Bill Hopkins

                              hopkins

                                Described by the author’s friend Colin Wilson as one of the most important novels of the 21st century, The Divine and the Decay is sadly neglected because the publisher recalled all known copies and had them destroyed in response to the hysteria of critics.

                                No other novel in recent times has dared look so honestly at the human condition and suggest the herculean will power required to change it. It tells the story of a young English politician who, having arranged the murder of a rival within his party, takes a trip to a tiny island in the English Channel as an alibi. The characters he encounters on the island each symbolize the different types of people with whom he must contend in the world at large. His conflicts with the islanders serve as a critique of the problems of modern Western culture. The protagonist wrestles with self doubt but ultimately overcomes his own weakness in a spectacular and uplifting finale. This novel will raise the spirits of readers in their twenties, filling them with hope and courage as they embark on the journey of life before them.

                                (Please note that this particular book doesn’t come cheap – having not been republished since 1957. Publishers are attempting to get it reprinted but this is a long, slow process.)

                                If you enjoyed this article, check out this similar post on 15 Books For Everyone to Better Their Writing Skills.

                                What are some other books you think that people in their twenties should read? Let us know in the comments.

                                Love this article? Share it with your friends on Facebook.

                                Featured photo credit: wikicommons – Joe Crawford from Moorpark, California, USA via commons.wikimedia.org

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                                Last Updated on November 11, 2019

                                Can a Dysfunctional Family Become Functional?

                                Can a Dysfunctional Family Become Functional?

                                A dysfunctional family is more than disagreement or constant arguments. Anything from plain neglect, to abuse and even verbal and physical violence is the everyday experience of those who are part of a dysfunctional family.

                                You know how this looks:

                                • Parents constantly comparing children.
                                • Siblings in conflict because of tolerated bullying.
                                • Domestic violence.
                                • Adultery…
                                • And many others.

                                For all the members, this will mean emotional pain and even trauma; which, in case it doesn’t get resolved, will have a detrimental effect on the individual’s personality and development.

                                Needless to say, the younger members are the most vulnerable, but that doesn’t mean the parents are out of danger, as most commonly the parents play the roles of abuser-codependent, and in some cases, both parts inflicting pain on one another.

                                Most like to think these problems stem from deep-seated issues, and that therefore it’s pretty much impossible to deal with them.

                                This is only true for families not willing to do what it takes, for if only a single member is determined and knows how to do it, the whole family can do a lot of progress.

                                In this article, I’ll break down for you the basic steps of fixing a dysfunctional family. Although it may seem hopeless, it is possible to turn things around.

                                If you have ever felt in this position, or if you know somebody who is, this article is for you.

                                How to fix a dysfunctional family

                                In a few words the solution for a dysfunctional family lies in dropping the ego, focusing on the solution, switching blame for responsibility and doing the work as a unity, for the good of the whole family.

                                And this will accomplish things you once only saw as a dream.

                                Dropping the ego? Switching blame for responsibility? Doing the work? What does all this mean?

                                It’s simple. In a nutshell, it’s that which will allow you to turn a dysfunctional family into a functional one.

                                Let’s take a look at how exactly this can be done. And near the end we will also talk about what you can do in a dysfunctional family with cynical traits.

                                Dysfunctional families where not only problems are well-known, but also nobody seems to want a fix or openly decide to perpetuate the harmful behaviors. Such as the case of abuse and physical violence.

                                There is also a solution for these, it’s just not what you are expecting…

                                Dysfunctional… Or just average?

                                Most families are dysfunctional, though at varying degrees of dysfunctionality.

                                The milder cases, are just marked by “typical” comically-shrouded bullying or lack of interest in other members’ development or wellbeing.

                                You can know a family is dysfunctional if their interactions are anything different than cooperation, solidarity, care and support. But let’s get more specific…

                                A dysfunctional family is one in which members directly or indirectly suffer emotional and/or physical harm inflicted by other members of their family. Most commonly, perpetrated by the parents.

                                Even harmful actions as “passive” as neglect, which is inflicted by inaction rather than action, signifies a dysfunction within the family.

                                Dysfunctional families have conflicts such as:

                                • Unrealistic expectations
                                • Lack of interest and time spent together
                                • Sexism
                                • Utilitarianism
                                • Lack of empathy
                                • Unequal or unfair treatment
                                • Disrespect towards boundaries
                                • Control Issues
                                • Jealousy
                                • Verbal and physical abuse
                                • Violence and even sexual misconduct or abuse

                                You may think a dysfunctional family has very little or nothing to do with personal productivity, but you would be wrong in thinking this way…

                                If a person is not emotionally well, she will not be able to perform as desired, as the emotional harm that has been inflicted will hinder everyday performance in the way of inability to concentrate, lack of mental clarity and low levels of inspiration, motivation and discipline.

                                Having a functional family does exactly the opposite: It creates productive members with no emotional baggage.

                                How to turn it around

                                When you’re part of a dysfunctional family you know it. You can quickly identify in other members the behaviors and conflicts that create the dysfunction.

                                But just in case you’re having trouble telling functional from dysfunctional I will tell you the following:

                                One of the easiest ways you can recognize if you are in a dysfunctional family is to survey your won feelings.

                                We often overlook this, but have you stopped to ask yourself how you feel?

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                                As cheesy as it may sound it really sheds a lot of light on the subject.

                                What behaviors, actions and attitudes in your family you wish were better?

                                Do you think certain behaviors and actions from your family marked you in the past?

                                Sadly, we cannot go back to the past to correct it. But we can do a lot in the present…

                                Correction is possible

                                In order to fix a dysfunctional family, you must start by putting an end to the behaviors and actions that are affecting you.

                                Verbalize it.

                                All members of the dysfunctional family have one issue in common: They don’t put a stop to the harm.

                                Whenever you feel your boundaries being overstepped there is just one single word you have to remember: STOP.

                                This is the door to a better, more functional family, because after this, comes the fix.

                                But first you have to identify and make others know where exactly lies the problem.

                                So go ahead and fearlessly start with “Stop”, followed by your expression of dissatisfaction.

                                Putting it to work in real life

                                In real life it would be something like this:

                                “OK, stop! Every time you belittle me I feel you don’t care. I need attention and respect, and it is your responsibility as my family to provide them to me”

                                Or:

                                “Stop. When you compare me with my cousin it hurts, I feel like I don’t matter and that’s not ok. I ask you to stop doing it.

                                Or:

                                “Please stop. When you start yelling all respect is lost and it turns into a battle of who can do it louder. Don’t raise your voice and let’s work this out the way humans do”.

                                As you can see, here you start by putting a stop to the toxic behavior when it arises. And afterwards you verbalize why it’s wrong and what needs of you need to be fulfilled.

                                This is what you have to remember:

                                1-Stop.

                                2-Why it’s wrong?

                                3-What you need.

                                And this will also work well in case you need to do it for another family member.

                                It’s a family thing

                                A dysfunctional family cannot be fixed by one member alone.

                                Yes, a single member can initiate progress and be the leader of the change. But in order to completely become functional all members must contribute to the solution.

                                In other words, you will need cooperation…

                                So don’t be afraid of asking for it!

                                Approach your family member and ask to be listened.

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                                We sometimes feel our needs are “not that important” or we simply believe they won’t listen. But thinking like this would be like being defeated at an unfought battle.

                                You will be amazed by how much people listen when you voice your needs, especially if it implies showing yourself open, vulnerable and in need.

                                It’s not a free-for-all battle

                                In order to get your family to cooperate, first you must fix your individual relationships with every member of the family. Remember: Relationships are always between two people, and two people only.

                                No matter how complex, the quality of a multi-member relationship (like a family) will always depend on the quality of the individual relationships.

                                Once you have straightened the relationship with every member of the dysfunctional family you will be able to better communicate with other members and help in the betterment of their individual relationship.

                                And this is where we will talk about the fix itself. The one I mentioned in the introduction…

                                The method

                                1. Drop the ego

                                Wherever there is conflict there is ego.

                                You cannot fix a relationship where there is ego, because the ego will want to win. Always. Yours and the other person.

                                Ego craves control and satisfaction, and in many cases, to establish dominance.

                                What does this have to do with a dysfunctional family? Everything. Ego will interfere with every plan you have to fix it.

                                It will make people suborn and defensive. And it will also make them drop responsibility. This is why, the first step is to drop the ego.

                                After you make sure you are not going to allow your ego to interfere you must work to make the other person do the same. How? By speaking from the heart…

                                Tell the other person how important all this is to you.

                                Tell the other person that it’s not a matter of arguing, but just working things out together.

                                Point out how it is not possible for you to do it alone.

                                And ask for sincere attention without any desire of opposition, because what you are doing is by no means in the hopes of harming the other person, but just to better the relationship and stop the damage being dealt to you.

                                You will have to point out the mistakes you need corrected, that’s for sure. And that leads me to the next point…

                                2. Not blame, but responsibility

                                When talking about others’ mistakes we often use an accusatory tone. And that’s natural, it’s what things should be like if ego was not present.

                                But since we are all creatures of ego, this immediately brings the shields up. And then unsheathes the swords…

                                When we blame others they automatically enter a defensive state, and this only leads to a failed negotiation.

                                What you need to do is to shift from blame to responsibility. And even that will have to be done carefully!

                                Instead of telling them off or demanding change or complaining, calmly point what the problem with their behavior is.

                                As much as this feels contradictory, also make them feel understood. You know how difficult it is to accept a mistake, so just make them feel it’s no big fuzz… which does not mean it’s ok, but it takes tension off.

                                You will do something like this:

                                “Hello dad. Can I talk with you for a minute? I really need to tell you something.

                                I have been feeling pretty sad lately and I know this is something you do care about.

                                You see, whenever I talk about my accomplishments you mention something else that makes my achievement pale in comparison.

                                I know you don’t do this intentionally and I know you might have not realized this until now, but I want to let you know this really brings me down.

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                                It would mean a lot to me if you could stop doing it, and it would help better our relationship, because this has already forced me to distance myself from you. And I don’t want that, I want a good, healthy relationship with you”

                                What happened here?

                                We started off with making it something important, something that needs both time and attention. Then we openly show ourselves vulnerable, just as we are.

                                We also mention why he should listen, and shove our feelings there again, because they are important.

                                We describe the issue with no attachment and with no hostile intention. It’s just a description.

                                And then we take the blame off. Just before we assign responsibility without actually saying it.

                                You are not blaming him directly, but you are pointing out the inevitable fact that his actions are causing a dysfunctionality. He is now responsible for changing.

                                This is what “switching blame for responsibility” means. What comes next? Doing the work!

                                3. Doing the work

                                What would any of this mean if, in the end, nothing changes? Exactly, nothing!

                                This is why you must follow up with every change that needs to be done.

                                Do so in a manner that is not hostile. Bring it up in a casual manner, and emphasizing how you both reached an agreement and how that is important to the family.

                                If the person doesn’t follow up don’t hesitate to bring it up again, and tell them you feel disappointed that your honest try at it was not listened.

                                It may even be a subject in itself, and therefore the need for another conversation.

                                “When you go back to old habits it shows that you didn’t really care about what I said. But back in real life you just reinforce how much contempt you show towards me and my feelings.

                                I talk with you because I care. Because although it would be easier for me to just distance myself from you I rather do my part in nurturing this relationship.

                                But there is just so much I can do, if you refuse to do your part I can do nothing else.”

                                You need very clear and positive communication in order to make this work.

                                Love is all you need

                                You must remember that in order for a dysfunctional family to become functional, all the work needs to stem from love.

                                That is the single one requirement for all this to work: Love.

                                And what happens if it simply is not there?

                                What happens if, nobody is willing to do what it takes?

                                What happens if a member of the family refuses to change and is happy with the harm he or she is dealing?

                                There is only one thing you can do:

                                To break away.

                                Let’s be honest, people, especially adults, are very difficult to change.

                                There is a Jewish proverb that I love, which sums it up like this:

                                “We spend the rest of our lives trying to unlearn what we learned before we were 7”

                                If you find it very hard to change the very traits that make your family dysfunctional or if it’s simply impossible, you still have a card up your sleeve…

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                                Although nobody likes to beak away from family members, we must remember we have a responsibility with ourselves as individuals, before any relationship with anyone.

                                You have the responsibility of making yourself happy and free. Because you matter as an individual, regardless of any relationships you have, be it family, friendship or romantic.

                                Putting distance

                                So in case you are dealing with a family member who is simply unwilling to change take both physical and emotional distance.

                                What do I mean?

                                Learn, first, to take their damage in a detached manner.

                                Don’t let it hurt you further. Instead take a deep breath and distance yourself emotionally.

                                Don’t be attached to feelings such as “Why doesn’t she love me?” or “What did I do to deserve this?” or “If he wasn’t like that my life would be perfect”.

                                Simply refuse to keep participating in the emotional downward spiral and accept, even if it’s painful” that there is nothing you can do. Accept that even without that relationship you are whole, you are worthy of love and respect.

                                They are their responsibility and you are yours. So decide what is best for you.

                                Realize it only comes down to two possibilities:

                                I keep the relationship and therefore accept the abuse. Or…

                                I choose my peace of mind.

                                And don’t let your mind fool you. We often think that since we all are imperfect, we must take the good and the bad behaviors of people. And we are especially forgiving towards our family…

                                Well, guess what? We are also responsible adults who are aware and must own to their acts. Never excuse abuse or violence or transgression towards you or anybody else.

                                Choose your happiness and if possible, also distance yourself physically, as it will increase your peace of mind tenfold.

                                How to prevent it

                                There are two key concepts you must bear in mind in order to prevent the dysfunctionality of a family:

                                • To be completely aware of one’s own mistakes and not allow them to impact others and…
                                • To make sure our SO’s are also on the same channel before creating a family (i.e. having children)

                                Dysfunctional families are the product of irresponsible paternity, for the decades-long unresolved emotional conflict ends up surfacing in the family inevitably, and it will for sure harm those who least deserve it: Innocent children.

                                You may notice we went from talking about family, to talking about individual relationships, to talking about you. We went from “them” to “us” to “me”.

                                Why? Because in the end you have the power to fix a dysfunctional family. To correct the mistakes you have in yours and to prevent dysfunctionalities if you don’t have a family but plan to create one.

                                Priorities and clear thought

                                You may be part of a dysfunctional family, but that does not mean you are powerless or that you have to suffer the consequences.

                                You learned today how it’s all a matter of priorities and thinking clearly.

                                You learned that, if love exists, everything is possible. You learned that even when there is no love and no fix for your dysfunctional family, there are still things you can do. It’s a matter of choosing your peace, because you deserve it.

                                Everything will be better if you apply this knowledge. If you talk to that problematic family member. If you help them see the harm they are doing. If you make sure they do change and treat you the way you need to be treated…

                                If you choose yourself over that toxic family member. If you refuse to justify the harm that others can do to yourself. If you realize the most important relationship you have is with yourself.

                                And lastly, that you also have to be aware of your actions and be open to criticism. Because we might be unknowingly harming others. And that would be us creating a dysfunctionality. Don’t allow it to happen.

                                Dysfunctional families are not impossible to fix. It just takes love, cooperation and responsibility.

                                But if you tried and those elements are not present, just choose yourself instead.

                                Featured photo credit: Xavier Mouton Photographie via unsplash.com

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