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15 Best Things About Being Married That Only Wedded Couples Understand

15 Best Things About Being Married That Only Wedded Couples Understand

There’s nothing like being married! Yes, marriage is work, but with just the right amount of effort from both parties, coupled with love and a willingness to go the distance, a marriage can be blissful from the moment you say “I do” to the time both of you are old, sitting in rocking chairs, holding hands and reflecting on the moments in your life that mattered most to you. I’d like to share the 15 best things about being married that only the wedded couples understand.

1. You get to share everything.

When the two of you come together, what used to be “mine”, now becomes “ours”. You learn to be around one another in a new space, and you grow to understand that everything in a marriage is about each other. From the food you eat to the toothpaste you use, all of it belongs to both of you.

2. You learn that all marriages have their ups and downs, but the laughs along the way are the most fulfilling.

Will Smith said it best: “If you can be yourselves around each other, 100% of the time, and they can make you laugh like no one else can, you’ll never have a dull moment together.” Yes, stressful moments are a part of life, but the good thing is, you have each other to make it through. You’ll look back and see how far you’ve come and laugh at those times because you’ll realize it wasn’t as serious as you thought.

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3. You have the greatest shopping partner and a true ride-or-die.

Believe it or not, but your mate is the one that will see you more than any other person. And regardless of how you think you look, he thinks you are the best thing since sliced bread. He will tell you the truth about what’s hot and what’s not! I can attest to having an awesome time with my husband, no matter what we do or where we go. He will pick out my clothes and be with me for hours at the mall and not complain. When married, you get to learn so much about each other’s personality, likes and dislikes, sense of fashion, and what they are willing to do for you, when others won’t.

4. You get to build a legacy for your children.

You and your spouse get the distinct responsibility to raise your children with morals and values that will sustain them throughout life. You also get the chance to leave a mark on them that cannot be erased. You, as a couple, get to start immediately with identifying the things you want for your children and create opportunities that will allow your children to carry the mission and vision of your family for years to come.

5. You get to study your mate throughout your marriage.

There are many that feel that you have to date your mate for years in order to learn all you can about that person. While that may be true, you need to understand that there’s no way to figure a person out in three or four years compared to the lifetime you will spend with that person once married. Each day is a learning experience with your spouse. Take the time, because time is definitely on your side as long as you are married.

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6. You get to see them for who they really are before others do.

When they wake up in the morning with hair out of place and morning breath, you are there to observe it. However, that is when the beauty of the person you married truly shines through. If you have to have a person who is always dressed to the nines and in make-up or your favorite cologne, then others are only looking at your surface. As a married couple, you find that it’s much deeper than that.

7. You get to date your spouse every day.

Just because you go to the altar doesn’t mean dating stops! It should only increase and get better! My husband and I love to be spontaneous about where we go and what we do together. It’s not uncommon that we meet up at new places for lunch, or take the time during the day when most people work and go play golf. Each time we do, we know it’s another chance to date and share our love as well as our pastimes.

8. You get to work together to solve problems.

No one person has to be concerned about circumstances that many times are beyond his or her control. Two heads are better than one. When you come together to solve problems, it takes the weight off of one another. Also consulting a higher power other than yourselves keeps things in perspective for your household and family.

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9. You get to experience true levels of intimacy, other than just sex.

With the work of caring for kids, working a 9 to 5, cooking, cleaning, doing chores, after school activities, and handling different affairs, I know that sex may be last on the list at times. However, in between time, there are other things that married couples do that still shows intimacy. We find time to talk, hug, kiss, and be vulnerable towards each other. Those things will let your spouse know how much you care.

10. You get to be on the same team.

No one likes to feel that they are alone in a marriage. However, having a spouse that comforts you, cheers you on, and celebrates your accomplishments means that despite what others think, he or she will always work in harmony with you, not against you.

11. You get to turn the flame up in your marriage.

What better way to know your mate than to learn what keeps them attracted to you. My grandmother always used to say, “Whatever you do to get that man is the same thing you do to keep that man!” She was so right. Whether it’s role play, foreplay, or stay and play, do it! Obviously, that’s what he or she fell in love with!

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12. You keep honesty and integrity the focal point of your marriage dealings.

Trust is the foundation of any marriage. Honesty and integrity must be present so each person is comfortable in the decisions of the other because both parties are always in agreement.

13. You get to find out the true purpose of your marriage.

The purpose of your marriage is to always hold each other in high regard and to defend the sanctity of your marriage at all times. No relationship fires can stop what has been blessed. That is a marriage based on purpose and one that will last a lifetime.

14. You understand that giving is a two-way street.

Giving is the ultimate sacrifice. It comes from the heart and shows you are selfless. There’s no “I” and “my” but “us” and “we”. When you give to your spouse, it comes from a healthy place inside that says “what I have belongs to you”. No other person gets that privilege quite like your spouse.

15. You get to spend the rest of your life with your best friend.

Who could ask for more?

Featured photo credit: Got the Giggles/Simon Powell via flickr.com

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Last Updated on April 14, 2021

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

Expressing Anger

Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

Being Passive-Aggressive

This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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Poorly-Timed

Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

Ongoing Anger

Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

Healthy Ways to Express Anger

What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

Being Honest

Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

Being Direct

Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

Being Timely

When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

How to Deal With Anger

If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

1. Slow Down

From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

2. Focus on the “I”

Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

3. Work out

When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

If you’re not sure where to start with an exercise routine, check out Lifehack’s free Simple Cardio Home Workout Plan.

4. Seek Help When Needed

There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

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5. Practice Relaxation

We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

6. Laugh

Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

7. Be Grateful

It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

Final Thoughts

Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

More Resources on Anger Management

Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

Reference

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