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15 Best Things About Being Married That Only Wedded Couples Understand

15 Best Things About Being Married That Only Wedded Couples Understand

There’s nothing like being married! Yes, marriage is work, but with just the right amount of effort from both parties, coupled with love and a willingness to go the distance, a marriage can be blissful from the moment you say “I do” to the time both of you are old, sitting in rocking chairs, holding hands and reflecting on the moments in your life that mattered most to you. I’d like to share the 15 best things about being married that only the wedded couples understand.

1. You get to share everything.

When the two of you come together, what used to be “mine”, now becomes “ours”. You learn to be around one another in a new space, and you grow to understand that everything in a marriage is about each other. From the food you eat to the toothpaste you use, all of it belongs to both of you.

2. You learn that all marriages have their ups and downs, but the laughs along the way are the most fulfilling.

Will Smith said it best: “If you can be yourselves around each other, 100% of the time, and they can make you laugh like no one else can, you’ll never have a dull moment together.” Yes, stressful moments are a part of life, but the good thing is, you have each other to make it through. You’ll look back and see how far you’ve come and laugh at those times because you’ll realize it wasn’t as serious as you thought.

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3. You have the greatest shopping partner and a true ride-or-die.

Believe it or not, but your mate is the one that will see you more than any other person. And regardless of how you think you look, he thinks you are the best thing since sliced bread. He will tell you the truth about what’s hot and what’s not! I can attest to having an awesome time with my husband, no matter what we do or where we go. He will pick out my clothes and be with me for hours at the mall and not complain. When married, you get to learn so much about each other’s personality, likes and dislikes, sense of fashion, and what they are willing to do for you, when others won’t.

4. You get to build a legacy for your children.

You and your spouse get the distinct responsibility to raise your children with morals and values that will sustain them throughout life. You also get the chance to leave a mark on them that cannot be erased. You, as a couple, get to start immediately with identifying the things you want for your children and create opportunities that will allow your children to carry the mission and vision of your family for years to come.

5. You get to study your mate throughout your marriage.

There are many that feel that you have to date your mate for years in order to learn all you can about that person. While that may be true, you need to understand that there’s no way to figure a person out in three or four years compared to the lifetime you will spend with that person once married. Each day is a learning experience with your spouse. Take the time, because time is definitely on your side as long as you are married.

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6. You get to see them for who they really are before others do.

When they wake up in the morning with hair out of place and morning breath, you are there to observe it. However, that is when the beauty of the person you married truly shines through. If you have to have a person who is always dressed to the nines and in make-up or your favorite cologne, then others are only looking at your surface. As a married couple, you find that it’s much deeper than that.

7. You get to date your spouse every day.

Just because you go to the altar doesn’t mean dating stops! It should only increase and get better! My husband and I love to be spontaneous about where we go and what we do together. It’s not uncommon that we meet up at new places for lunch, or take the time during the day when most people work and go play golf. Each time we do, we know it’s another chance to date and share our love as well as our pastimes.

8. You get to work together to solve problems.

No one person has to be concerned about circumstances that many times are beyond his or her control. Two heads are better than one. When you come together to solve problems, it takes the weight off of one another. Also consulting a higher power other than yourselves keeps things in perspective for your household and family.

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9. You get to experience true levels of intimacy, other than just sex.

With the work of caring for kids, working a 9 to 5, cooking, cleaning, doing chores, after school activities, and handling different affairs, I know that sex may be last on the list at times. However, in between time, there are other things that married couples do that still shows intimacy. We find time to talk, hug, kiss, and be vulnerable towards each other. Those things will let your spouse know how much you care.

10. You get to be on the same team.

No one likes to feel that they are alone in a marriage. However, having a spouse that comforts you, cheers you on, and celebrates your accomplishments means that despite what others think, he or she will always work in harmony with you, not against you.

11. You get to turn the flame up in your marriage.

What better way to know your mate than to learn what keeps them attracted to you. My grandmother always used to say, “Whatever you do to get that man is the same thing you do to keep that man!” She was so right. Whether it’s role play, foreplay, or stay and play, do it! Obviously, that’s what he or she fell in love with!

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12. You keep honesty and integrity the focal point of your marriage dealings.

Trust is the foundation of any marriage. Honesty and integrity must be present so each person is comfortable in the decisions of the other because both parties are always in agreement.

13. You get to find out the true purpose of your marriage.

The purpose of your marriage is to always hold each other in high regard and to defend the sanctity of your marriage at all times. No relationship fires can stop what has been blessed. That is a marriage based on purpose and one that will last a lifetime.

14. You understand that giving is a two-way street.

Giving is the ultimate sacrifice. It comes from the heart and shows you are selfless. There’s no “I” and “my” but “us” and “we”. When you give to your spouse, it comes from a healthy place inside that says “what I have belongs to you”. No other person gets that privilege quite like your spouse.

15. You get to spend the rest of your life with your best friend.

Who could ask for more?

Featured photo credit: Got the Giggles/Simon Powell via flickr.com

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

There will always be times in your life when you may need to learn how to reinvent yourself. This could come when you experience a big change, such as leaving your job, moving on from a relationship, transferring to a new home, or losing a loved one. If you are going through a major shift in your life, you may have to find new ways of thinking or doing things, or risk failing to reach your full potential.

“When something bad happens, you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.”

Many people who dared to leave their old unhappy lives enabled themselves to pursue their passions and find a renewed zest for living. You can also achieve the same if you take a leap of faith and make things happen for yourself.

To help you always be at your best wherever you may be in your life, here are some practical tips on how to reinvent yourself.

The Reinvention Checklist

Before embarking on a journey of self-reinvention, you need to make sure that you have everything that you need to make the trip bump-proof. These things include:

Resilience

Problems and obstacles are guaranteed to happen. Some of them will be difficult and may knock you off course; the important thing, however, is that you learn from these difficulties, never lose focus, and always get back up. This requires building resilience to get through the tough times.

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Support

Humans are social beings. Although it is important that you learn to rely on yourself when facing any challenge, it is also important to have a support team that you can lean on to give you a boost when things get too tough and to correct you when you’re making mistakes.

The key is to find the right balance between independence and dependence. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and share the difficulties you’re facing. When you open up, you’ll find the people who are really going to be there for you.

Self-Care

During the process of learning how to reinvent yourself, you will have to pull yourself away from your old comfort zones, habits, roles, and self-perceptions. This can be difficult and cause you to question your self-worth, so it’s important to engage in self-care to maintain a positive outlook and keep your mind and body healthy as you face the challenges that await you. Self-care can include:

  • Participating in a hobby you enjoy
  • Spending time with your support system
  • Taking some time to walk in nature
  • Practicing loving-kindness meditation

Find what works for you and what helps you feel like your true self as you seek a reinvented version of you.

How to Reinvent Yourself

Once you’re sure that you’re equipped with all the tools in the self-reinvention checklist, you can begin your journey of learning how to reinvent yourself.

1. Discover Your Strengths

This step provides valuable information on how you deal with certain situations. If you have this information, you will be able to manage difficulties more efficiently.

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To find out what your strengths are, you can ask your friends and colleagues for feedback, engage in self-reflection, or try these 10 Ways to Find Your Own Personal Strengths.

2. Plan

This step calls for a thorough assessment of your current emotional, psychological, and financial status so that you can develop plans that are realistic and practical.

It’s okay to have ambitious dreams, but your plans have to be realistic. Making use of SMART goals can help you plan your life better.

You can also consult your mentor or life coach for practical tips and advice.

Ultimately, you’ll want to create specific long-term and short-term goals that you can create milestones for. By doing this, you’ll lay out a specific roadmap to your reinvented self.

3. Try Things Out

Sometimes, we don’t know if solutions actually work until we try them out. This is why it is important to experiment whenever possible, especially if you’re dealing with a career change. You may need to simply experiment in order to find the things you like. This can be the same with hobbies. If you’re not sure what you would like doing, accept invitations from friends to join them in their favorite sport or take a class, like pottery or photography.

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By seeing what’s out there in any area of your life, you’ll have a better chance of finding the things you enjoy and the goals you want to create.

4. Manage Your Finances Well

Changes may require a bit of money. If you’re shifting to a new career, you may have to pay for training. If you’re going through a tough divorce or having a hard time dealing with the death of a loved one, you may have to pay for therapy. If you’re moving to a new home, you’ll definitely have to pay a whole lot of expenses.

All of these things are possible, but it will require a bit of money savviness as you learn how to reinvent yourself. If you have that cushion, you’ll feel more comfortable straying from your current path to try new things.

5. Muster Your Courage

Fears and self-doubt may arise when you encounter difficulties and setbacks. Sometimes, they may also come when you’re taking risks. You have to manage these negative emotions well and not allow them to discourage you. Tap into your courage and try doing at least one new thing each week to develop it.

Learn how to deal with your self-doubts to move forward in this article: How Self Doubt Keeps You Stuck (And How to Overcome It)

6. Use Your Support Group

As stated above, you need to build a strong support group before you even start the process of reinventing yourself. Your group will keep you from taking wrong turns and encourage you when you get too weighed down by problems. Don’t be afraid to call them, or even ask them out for coffee if you need to vent about the current difficulties you’re facing.

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7. Remind Yourself Every Day of Your Commitment

Write your goals on different-sized cards and scatter them at home and at work in places where you can easily see them. This way, you will constantly be reminded of where you want to be. Remember, writing down your goals helps them stick[1].

8. Accept Failure, Learn, and Resume Your Journey

Failing is normal, especially when we’re trying out something new. When you fail, simply recognize it, learn from it, and move on. Failure, in the end, is the best way to learn what does and doesn’t work, and you simply won’t be able to learn how to reinvent yourself if you don’t accept the inevitable failures that await you.

Final Thoughts

If you truly want to learn how to reinvent yourself and live the life you desire, take the advice above and start taking action. It will take time, patience, and plenty of effort to make the change you want happen, but it will be all worth it.

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Featured photo credit: Ashley Rich via unsplash.com

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