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13 Signs You’re Wasting Life But You Can’t Admit It

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13 Signs You’re Wasting Life But You Can’t Admit It

When you were a kid, did you want to grow up to be an astronaut, a singer or an engineer? If so, how’s that working out for you? Hopefully, it’s going great and you are living the life of your dreams. But for the rest of you who are not, here are 13 signs that you might be wasting your life… but you don’t want to admit it:

1. You spend too much time doing things you shouldn’t be doing.

Video games. Reality TV. Surfing the ‘net. Stuffing your face with too much food. Drinking too much. And the list goes on. Take a serious look at your life. Where are you spending the majority of your time? And does it serve you well? Is it leading to a better life? Is it laying the foundation for a bright future? If not, then you need to reevaluate your routine activities and make changes.

2. You find yourself complaining a lot.

I know people who are constantly overwhelmed with life, and they never cease to tell me. Are you one of those people? Do you complain about your job, your boss, your salary, your neighbors or your spouse? If you do, then you are doing nothing but exuding negative energy. Negativity doesn’t change things. It keeps you stuck. So change your thoughts and talk about what you appreciate about your life, not what you don’t like.

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3. You don’t feed your mind.

If you’re not continually growing and learning as a person, then you are stagnant – just like a still pond that doesn’t move and grows green gunk on it. That’s what your mind does if you don’t keep it active and learn new things. Positive challenges in your life will expand your mind, not send it backwards.

4. You have a lot of negative self-talk.

Self-talk can make or break your life. As Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can, or think you can’t… either way, you’re right.” If you tell yourself that you’re not smart enough to get that promotion or start a business, then you’re right. If you tell yourself you’re too exhausted to put effort into changing your life, then you’re right. Whatever you tell yourself becomes your reality. So closely monitor what you say to yourself, because you will find that your life matches your thoughts.

5. You feel uninspired.

Do you have a passion for anything? I know a lot of people who think they don’t have a passion. But that’s never the case. There has to be something that you enjoy doing. So you need to rediscover what excites you, and then do more of it.

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6. You don’t plan for your future.

While it’s always great to live in the “now” and “be in the moment,” sometimes you need to look ahead to see where you want to go. If you don’t have a goal or a plan, then you are like a boat that is wandering aimlessly in the ocean hoping to end up somewhere good. But you can’t do that. You have to make a step-by-step guide to get where you want to go. Just like a GPS gets you to a destination, you need your own inner GPS to guide you.

7. You spend too much time with people who don’t contribute to your growth.

It’s easy to get stuck hanging out with people who are not making you feel like a better person. But if you keep doing that, then you will stay stagnant or get pulled down with them. I like to call them “Energy Vampires.” They suck the life out of you and give you nothing positive in return. Instead, go find growth-oriented people to be around.

8. You’re addicted to your phone.

Sure, cell phones are super cool gadgets that can leave us entranced when we use them. While that’s fun, think about all the time you are wasting with your phone. Even worse, think about all the relationships that might be affected. Maybe you’re texting or searching the internet while you’re having dinner with your spouse or kids. If you are, you’re missing out on meaningful time you can spend with your loved ones – or time you could devote to making a plan for your future.

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9. You spend money on things that don’t matter.

There is a difference between a “need” and a “want.” I’m sure we all learned that in kindergarten. However, in today’s society, we have blurred the lines quite a bit (see #8… the cell phone). In fact, I know people who can’t pay their mortgage, but still have the fanciest gadgets on the planet. If you stop to think about it, there is very little that we actually need. Food, water, shelter and love are some of those things. All the rest are just bonuses. So look at what you’re spending your money on and see if you can make adjustments. Maybe you can use the money you save to invest in your future.

10. You don’t get enough sleep.

I’m not a medical doctor, but I have read enough books to know how vitally important sleep is. I could write 20 pages on it. But I obviously don’t have enough room in this short article. Sleep is crucial for good health. If you’re too busy to get enough sleep or if you simply have a bad habit of staying up until the wee hours of the morning, you should re-evaluate your habits.

11. You’re not taking care of your body.

Not only is sleep essential to your health, so is food and exercise. I know I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know. But eating a balanced, healthy diet and moving your body around truly does have more positive effects other than weight loss. It affects your mental attitude and overall well-being. So take a look at your diet and level of activity. You might find that making a few small changes will greatly improve your life.

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12. You don’t leave your comfort zone.

I know how easy it is to live in a comfort zone. In fact, when I go to a familiar restaurant, I always order the same thing. Not because I’m afraid to try something new, but because I like the food I normally order. But that’s not the kind of comfort zone I’m talking about. I’m talking about taking a risk that will improve your life. And keep in mind, there is a difference between a “risk” and a “calculated risk.” Any risk has the possibility to be deadly, but a calculated risk is one in which you’ve weighed all options and thus come up with a good, sensible plan of action.

13. You’re living a life you don’t like.

The way I measure success is by someone’s level of happiness. Are you happy? If not, then you should change something! Even a feeling of contentment or satisfaction doesn’t tell you that you’re living life to the fullest. Life should be exciting! So if you’re not enjoying life, take a look at some of the changes you can make to get you to a better place.

If any of these 13 points sounded like you, don’t despair. You can make changes. But the first change you need to make is getting rid of the idea that you can’t do it. Many times, your biggest obstacle is your own thought process. So start there. Change your thinking – then change your life!

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More by this author

Carol Morgan

Dr. Carol Morgan is the owner of HerSideHisSide.com, a communication professor, dating & relationship coach, TV personality, speaker, and author.

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Last Updated on January 5, 2022

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

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How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

Expressing Anger

Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

Being Passive-Aggressive

This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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Poorly-Timed

Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

Ongoing Anger

Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

Healthy Ways to Express Anger

What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

Being Honest

Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

Being Direct

Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

Being Timely

When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

How to Deal With Anger

If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

1. Slow Down

From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

2. Focus on the “I”

Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

3. Work out

When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

4. Seek Help When Needed

There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

5. Practice Relaxation

We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

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That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

6. Laugh

Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

7. Be Grateful

It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

Final Thoughts

Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go or motivated. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

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More Resources on Anger Management

Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

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