Advertising
Advertising

13 Little Things That Will Make You A Better Man

13 Little Things That Will Make You A Better Man

Change is the rule of life. No one has all the best qualities. We all have what we deserve to have, but if you are looking to achieve extra and want to improve your current situation, you have to improve who you are. You have to work to better yourself and to remove your errors.

Without appropriate guidance, it is difficult to walk on the path to become a better man in life. These simple steps will lead you in the right direction and will make your presence a lot more pleasant.

1. Love yourself

Exercise self-compassion and self-respect. Recognize your strengths and weaknesses, your faults and understand you are human and nobody is perfect. Always enjoy and love yourself, your unique spirit and skills. Take good care of yourself mentally, physically, spiritually and accompany yourself with people who respect and help you in developing your personality.

Advertising

2. Be ambitious in your own way

Men are naturally ambitious. All men want to be the breadwinners and have the admiration and respect for people around them. You should set goals for yourself in your career or profession and reinvent yourself whenever you need to beat your goals. Define your own idea of success. If you can’t identify your goals, contemplate what you really want to achieve in life and what is most important to you then head in that direction.

3. Don’t crumble under pressure

As a leader you might frequently face challenging and overwhelming situations. Instead of feeling stressed, getting emotional, panic and crumbling under pressure you must remain strong, clear-headed. Take these odd situations as a way to improve, learn and grow. People respect, appreciate and look up to such a person who can stay strong under pressure.

4. Be a man of your word

A man of his word is respected by others and can be trusted. A respected man honors his promises and sticks to it no matter what. Men who lie, exaggerate, cheat and turn back on what they’ve promised, are not respected by others. Always remember to promise on things that you can deliver and if you can’t deliver, tell the truth straightaway. By doing this, you will be respected for your honesty.

Advertising

5. Learn to control anger and jealousy

Love, anger, fear, jealousy and sympathy, all these kinds of emotions are part of our life, but negative emotions like anger or jealousy toward others, can leave you in a difficult situation. Dissolve these negative emotions by changing your primary beliefs of insecurity and mental predictions. To be a better man, maintain control over your attention so you can deliberately change your mental projection and the negative emotions you feel. Most respected men can sense the emotion of a situation, but they can retain and control their emotions.

6. Hold yourself accountable

The key difference between a man and an immature person is that men are responsible. Respected men take responsibilities, accept their obligations and are accountable for their actions. The crucial attributes for a successful man starts with accountability, the ability to keep the commitments one makes to oneself. Successful people don’t look for excuses to be successful; they hunt for the way to be successful, until they achieve it.

7. Give respect and expect respect in return

Successful people respect others and expect respect in return. Men should admire others, but they should expect respect in return. If you are not treated well and not given respect, then your generosity is either not valued or not justified. If you are proposing great value at work, then ask for a raise or for a promotion. If you give generously to a friend, expect and even claim that he show you respect and behave kindly towards you.

Advertising

8. Love others without judgment

To be loved and respected, love others without judgment because it leads to confusion. You will face situations in which some people might do or say things that would be meaningless or immature for you, but you need to be open-minded because that might be their understanding of the world about the situation. So, rather than being superior, smarter, wiser and better than others, just love them without judgment.

9. Always be yourself

“Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.” Bruce Lee

The pressure from the outer world can influence who you are. The world is continually developing, it is very important for you to be yourself for learning to be happy and self-assured in your own skin.

Advertising

10. Speak with good purpose

Words are powerful! Always try to show a positive intention and keep your words sincere. A few kind words can enlighten and uplift others. Speaking good words with positive intention is the foundation of healthy relationships.

11. Take the lead in situations

People respect those who leap forward to handle challenging situations. Generally those people are not admired, who stand back and look for others to resolve the problem. Some people avoid taking the lead because of fear of criticism. They think playing safe is a better option. A man should work out of his comfort zone and take the lead to find solutions. The more you act like a leader, the more respected you will be as a man.

12. Be a better man that people look up to

Try to live your daily life constructing your decisions and actions on the philosophy of “leading by example.” By doing so you will able to increase the levels of long-term confidence to develop the faith that everything else will fall into place as it is meant to. This deliberate lifestyle directs your way of actions toward attaining your goals. The more a successful man you become, the more people will certainly start to look up to you. Your character will inspire others around you to also begin applying your model in their lives. You will be someone people can follow, a leader of strength in this world.

13. Be manly

Being manly does not mean being macho. A better man possesses positive qualities of determination, strength, confidence, high moral qualities, honesty and integrity. A true man has the courage to deal with difficult situations, discomfort or challenges without backing away despite his fear.

More by this author

Tayyab Babar

Tayyab is a PR/Marketing consultant. He writes about work, productivity and tech tips at Lifehack.

10 Traits of Sucessful Heroic Leaders 25 Signs That You’re A Mentally Strong Person 10 Astonishing Benefits of Marmite That Will Turn Your Hatred Into Love 5 Fun Ways to Make Money Online That You Should Try 4 Crucial Startup Mistakes That Can Kill Your Business: How You Can Avoid

Trending in Communication

1 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way 2 How to Break Free From Negative Thinking for Good 3 15 Simple Things You Can Do to Boost Your Daily Motivation 4 How to Say No When You Know You Say Yes Too Often 5 Feeling Super Stressed? Do This Daily Routine Every Day

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on September 18, 2020

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

For the original article by Celestine: 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

“We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different.” ~Unknown

“It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” – Hans Selye

Have you ever experienced moments when things just don’t go your way? For example, losing your keys, accidentally spilling your drink, waking up late, missing your buses/trains, forgetting to bring your things, and so on?

You’re not alone. All of us, myself included, experience times when things don’t go as we expect.

Here is my guide on how to deal with daily setbacks.

1. Take a step back and evaluate

When something bad happens, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Some questions to ask yourself:

  1. What is the problem?
  2. Are you the only person facing this problem in the world today?
  3. How does this problem look like at an individual level? A national level? On a global scale?
  4. What’s the worst possible thing that can happen to you as a result of this?
  5. How is it going to impact your life in the next 1 year? 5 years? 10 years?

Doing this exercise is not to undermine the problem or disclaiming responsibility, but to consider different perspectives, so you can adopt the best approach for it. Most problems we encounter daily may seem like huge issues when they crop up, but most, if not all, don’t have much impact in our life beyond that day.

Advertising

2. Vent if you have to, but don’t linger on the problem

If you feel very frustrated and need to let off some steam, go ahead and do that. Talk to a friend, complain, crib about it, or scream at the top of your lungs if it makes you happy.

At the same time, don’t get caught up with venting. While venting may temporarily relieve yourself, it’s not going to solve the problem ultimately. You don’t want to be an energy vampire.

Vent if there’s a need to, but do it for 15 to 20 minutes. Then move on.

3. Realize there are others out there facing this too

Even though the situation may be frustrating, you’re not alone. Remember there are almost 7 billion people in the world today, and chances are that other people have faced the same thing before too. Knowing it’s not just you helps you to get out of a self-victimizing mindset.

4. Process your thoughts/emotions

Process your thoughts/emotions with any of the four methods:

  1. Journal. Write your unhappiness in a private diary or in your blog. It doesn’t have to be formal at all – it can be a brain dump on rough paper or new word document. Delete after you are done.
  2. Audio taping. Record yourself as you talk out what’s on your mind. Tools include tape recorder, your PC (Audacity is a freeware for recording/editing audio) and your mobile (most mobiles today have audio recording functions). You can even use your voice mail for this. Just talking helps you to gain awareness of your emotions. After recording, play back and listen to what you said. You might find it quite revealing.
  3. Meditation. At its simplest form, meditation is just sitting/lying still and observing your reality as it is – including your thoughts and emotions. Some think that it involves some complex mambo-jumbo, but it doesn’t.
  4. Talking to someone. Talking about it with someone helps you work through the issue. It also gets you an alternate viewpoint and consider it from a different angle.

5. Acknowledge your thoughts

Don’t resist your thoughts, but acknowledge them. This includes both positive and negative thoughts.

By acknowledging, I mean recognizing these thoughts exist. So if say, you have a thought that says, “Wow, I’m so stupid!”, acknowledge that. If you have a thought that says, “I can’t believe this is happening to me again”, acknowledge that as well.

Advertising

Know that acknowledging the thoughts doesn’t mean you agree with them. It’s simply recognizing the existence of said thoughts so that you can stop resisting yourself and focus on the situation on hand.

6. Give yourself a break

If you’re very stressed out by the situation, and the problem is not time sensitive, then give yourself a break. Take a walk, listen to some music, watch a movie, or get some sleep. When you’re done, you should feel a lot more revitalized to deal with the situation.

7. Uncover what you’re really upset about

A lot of times, the anger we feel isn’t about the world. You may start off feeling angry at someone or something, but at the depth of it, it’s anger toward yourself.

Uncover the root of your anger. I have written a five part anger management series on how to permanently overcome anger.

After that, ask yourself: How can you improve the situation? Go to Step #9, where you define your actionable steps. Our anger comes from not having control on the situation. Sitting there and feeling infuriated is not going to change the situation. The more action we take, the more we will regain control over the situation, the better we will feel.

8. See this as an obstacle to be overcome

As Helen Keller once said,

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.”

Whatever you’re facing right now, see it as an obstacle to be overcome. In every worthy endeavor, there’ll always be countless obstacles that emerge along the way. These obstacles are what separate the people who make it, and those who don’t. If you’re able to push through and overcome them, you’ll emerge a stronger person than before. It’ll be harder for anything to get you down in the future.

9. Analyze the situation – Focus on actionable steps

In every setback, there are going to be things that can’t be reversed since they have already occurred. You want to focus on things that can still be changed (salvageable) vs. things that have already happened and can’t be changed. The only time the situation changes is when you take steps to improve it. Rather than cry over spilt milk, work through your situation:

  1. What’s the situation?
  2. What’s stressing you about this situation?
  3. What are the next steps that’ll help you resolve them?
  4. Take action on your next steps!

After you have identified your next steps, act on them. The key here is to focus on the actionable steps, not the inactionable steps. It’s about regaining control over the situation through direct action.

10. Identify how it occurred (so it won’t occur again next time)

A lot of times we react to our problems. The problem occurs, and we try to make the best out of what has happened within the context. While developing a healthy coping mechanism is important (which is what the other helping points are on), it’s also equally important, if not more, to understand how the problem arose. This way, you can work on preventing it from taking place next time, vs. dealing reactively with it.

Most of us probably think the problem is outside of our control, but reality is most of the times it’s fully preventable. It’s just a matter of how much responsibility you take over the problem.

For example, for someone who can’t get a cab for work in the morning, he/she may see the problem as a lack of cabs in the country, or bad luck. However, if you trace to the root of the problem, it’s probably more to do with (a) Having unrealistic expectations of the length of time to get a cab. He/she should budget more time for waiting for a cab next time. (b) Oversleeping, because he/she was too tired from working late the previous day. He/she should allocate enough time for rest next time. He/she should also pick up better time management skills, so as to finish work in lesser time.

11. Realize the situation can be a lot worse

No matter how bad the situation is, it can always be much worse. A plus point vs. negative point analysis will help you realize that.

Advertising

12. Do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it

No matter how bad your situation may seem, do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it. Life is too beautiful to worry so much over daily issues. Take a step back (#1), give yourself a break if you need to (#6), and do what you can within your means (#9). Everything else will unfold accordingly. Worrying too much about the outcome isn’t going to change things or make your life any better.

13. Pick out the learning points from the encounter

There’s something to learn from every encounter. What have you learned from this situation? What lessons have you taken away?

After you identify your learning points, think about how you’re going to apply them moving forward. With this, you’ve clearly gained something from this encounter. You’ve walked away a stronger, wiser, better person, with more life lessons to draw from in the future.

Get the manifesto version of this article: [Manifesto] What To Do When Things Don’t Go Your Way

Featured photo credit: Alice Donovan Rouse via unsplash.com

Read Next