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13 Little Things That Will Make You A Better Man

13 Little Things That Will Make You A Better Man

Change is the rule of life. No one has all the best qualities. We all have what we deserve to have, but if you are looking to achieve extra and want to improve your current situation, you have to improve who you are. You have to work to better yourself and to remove your errors.

Without appropriate guidance, it is difficult to walk on the path to become a better man in life. These simple steps will lead you in the right direction and will make your presence a lot more pleasant.

1. Love yourself

Exercise self-compassion and self-respect. Recognize your strengths and weaknesses, your faults and understand you are human and nobody is perfect. Always enjoy and love yourself, your unique spirit and skills. Take good care of yourself mentally, physically, spiritually and accompany yourself with people who respect and help you in developing your personality.

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2. Be ambitious in your own way

Men are naturally ambitious. All men want to be the breadwinners and have the admiration and respect for people around them. You should set goals for yourself in your career or profession and reinvent yourself whenever you need to beat your goals. Define your own idea of success. If you can’t identify your goals, contemplate what you really want to achieve in life and what is most important to you then head in that direction.

3. Don’t crumble under pressure

As a leader you might frequently face challenging and overwhelming situations. Instead of feeling stressed, getting emotional, panic and crumbling under pressure you must remain strong, clear-headed. Take these odd situations as a way to improve, learn and grow. People respect, appreciate and look up to such a person who can stay strong under pressure.

4. Be a man of your word

A man of his word is respected by others and can be trusted. A respected man honors his promises and sticks to it no matter what. Men who lie, exaggerate, cheat and turn back on what they’ve promised, are not respected by others. Always remember to promise on things that you can deliver and if you can’t deliver, tell the truth straightaway. By doing this, you will be respected for your honesty.

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5. Learn to control anger and jealousy

Love, anger, fear, jealousy and sympathy, all these kinds of emotions are part of our life, but negative emotions like anger or jealousy toward others, can leave you in a difficult situation. Dissolve these negative emotions by changing your primary beliefs of insecurity and mental predictions. To be a better man, maintain control over your attention so you can deliberately change your mental projection and the negative emotions you feel. Most respected men can sense the emotion of a situation, but they can retain and control their emotions.

6. Hold yourself accountable

The key difference between a man and an immature person is that men are responsible. Respected men take responsibilities, accept their obligations and are accountable for their actions. The crucial attributes for a successful man starts with accountability, the ability to keep the commitments one makes to oneself. Successful people don’t look for excuses to be successful; they hunt for the way to be successful, until they achieve it.

7. Give respect and expect respect in return

Successful people respect others and expect respect in return. Men should admire others, but they should expect respect in return. If you are not treated well and not given respect, then your generosity is either not valued or not justified. If you are proposing great value at work, then ask for a raise or for a promotion. If you give generously to a friend, expect and even claim that he show you respect and behave kindly towards you.

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8. Love others without judgment

To be loved and respected, love others without judgment because it leads to confusion. You will face situations in which some people might do or say things that would be meaningless or immature for you, but you need to be open-minded because that might be their understanding of the world about the situation. So, rather than being superior, smarter, wiser and better than others, just love them without judgment.

9. Always be yourself

“Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.” Bruce Lee

The pressure from the outer world can influence who you are. The world is continually developing, it is very important for you to be yourself for learning to be happy and self-assured in your own skin.

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10. Speak with good purpose

Words are powerful! Always try to show a positive intention and keep your words sincere. A few kind words can enlighten and uplift others. Speaking good words with positive intention is the foundation of healthy relationships.

11. Take the lead in situations

People respect those who leap forward to handle challenging situations. Generally those people are not admired, who stand back and look for others to resolve the problem. Some people avoid taking the lead because of fear of criticism. They think playing safe is a better option. A man should work out of his comfort zone and take the lead to find solutions. The more you act like a leader, the more respected you will be as a man.

12. Be a better man that people look up to

Try to live your daily life constructing your decisions and actions on the philosophy of “leading by example.” By doing so you will able to increase the levels of long-term confidence to develop the faith that everything else will fall into place as it is meant to. This deliberate lifestyle directs your way of actions toward attaining your goals. The more a successful man you become, the more people will certainly start to look up to you. Your character will inspire others around you to also begin applying your model in their lives. You will be someone people can follow, a leader of strength in this world.

13. Be manly

Being manly does not mean being macho. A better man possesses positive qualities of determination, strength, confidence, high moral qualities, honesty and integrity. A true man has the courage to deal with difficult situations, discomfort or challenges without backing away despite his fear.

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Tayyab Babar

Tayyab is a PR/Marketing consultant. He writes about work, productivity and tech tips at Lifehack.

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Last Updated on March 30, 2020

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

Have you ever walked into a room and felt like your nerves simply couldn’t handle it? Your heart beats fast, you start to sweat, and you feel like all eyes are on you (even if they’re really not). This is just one of the many ways that being self-conscious can rear its ugly head.

You may not even realize you’re self-conscious, and you may be wondering, “What does self-conscious mean?” That’s a good place to start.

This article will define self-consciousness, show how practically everyone has faced it at one point or another, and give you tips to avoid it.

What Does Self-Conscious Mean?

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, self-conscious is defined as “conscious of one’s own acts or states as belonging to or originating in oneself.”[1]

Not so bad, right? There’s another definition, though — one that speaks more to what you’re going through: “feeling uncomfortably conscious of oneself as an object of the observation of others.” For those of us who regularly deal with extreme self-consciousness, that second definition sounds about right.

There are many different ways self-consciousness can spring up. You may feel self-conscious around people you know, like your family members or closest friends. You may feel self-conscious at work, even though you spend hours every week around your co-workers. Or you may feel self-conscious when out in public and surrounded by strangers. However, you probably don’t feel self-conscious when you’re home alone.

How to Stop Being Too Self-Conscious

When you’re in the throes of self-consciousness, it’s nearly impossible to remember how to stop feeling that way. That’s why it’s so important to prepare ahead of time, when you’re feeling ready to tackle the problem instead of succumbing to it.

Here are a variety of ways to feel better about yourself and stop thinking about how others see you.

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1. Ask Yourself, “So What?”

One way to banish negative, self-conscious thoughts is to do just that: banish them.

The next time you walk into a room and feel your face getting red, think to yourself, “So what?” How much does it really matter if people don’t like how you look or act? What’s the worst that could happen?

Most of the time, you’ll find that you don’t have a good answer to this question. Then, you can immediately start assigning such thoughts less importance. With self-awareness, you can acknowledge that your negative thoughts are present and realize that you don’t agree with them.[2] They’re just thoughts, after all.

2. Be Honest

A lie that self-consciousness might tell is that there’s one way to act or feel. Honestly, though, everyone else is just figuring life out as well. There isn’t a preferred way to show up to an event, gathering, or public place. What you can do is be honest with your feelings and thoughts.[3]

If you feel offended by something someone says, you don’t have to smile to be polite or laugh to fit in with the crowd. Instead, you can politely say why you disagree or excuse yourself and find a group of people who you relate to better. If you’re nervous, don’t overcompensate by trying to look relaxed and casual — it’ll be obvious you’re putting on a front. Instead, nothing is more endearing than saying, “I’m a little nervous!” to a room of people who probably feel the exact same way.

On the same note, if you don’t understand why someone wants you to do something, question it. You can do this at work, at home, or even with people you don’t know well. Nobody should force you to do something you don’t want to do.

Also, even if you’re willing to do what’s asked of you, there’s nothing wrong with asking for more clarification. People will realize that you’re not a person to be bossed around.

3. Understand Why You’re Struggling at Work

Being self-conscious at work can get in the way of your daily responsibilities, your relationships with co-workers, and even your career as a whole. If you’re facing some sort of conflict but you’re too nervous to speak up, you may be at the whim of what happens to you instead of taking some control.

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If you’re usually confident at work, you may be wondering where this new self-consciousness is coming from. It’s possible that you’re dealing with burnout.[4] Common signs are anxiety, fatigue and distraction, all of which can leave you feeling under-confident.

4. Succeed at Something

When you create success in your life, it’s easier to feel confident[5] and less self-conscious. If you feel self-conscious at work, finish the project that’s been looming over your head. If you feel self-conscious in the gym, complete an advanced workout class.

Exposing yourself to what you’re scared of and then succeeding at it in some way (even just by finishing it) can do wonders for your self-esteem. The more confidence you build, the more likely you are to have more success in the future, which will create a cycle of confidence-building.

5. Treat All of You — Not Just Your Self-Consciousness

Trying to solve your self-consciousness alone may not treat the root of the problem. Instead, take a well-rounded approach to lower your self-consciousness and build confidence in areas where you may struggle.

Even professional counselors are embracing this holistic type of treatment[6] because they feel that the health of the mind and body are inextricably linked. This approach combines physical, spiritual, and psychological components. Common activities and treatments include meditation, yoga, massage, and healthy changes to diet and exercise.

If much of this is new to you, it will pay to give it a try. You never know how it will impact you.

If you’re feeling self-conscious about how your body looks, a massage that makes you feel great could boost your confidence. If you try a new workout, you could have something exciting to talk about the next time you’re in a group setting.

Putting yourself in a new situation and learning that you can get through it with grace can give you the confidence to get through all sorts of events and nerve-wracking moments.

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6. Make the Changes That Are Within Your Control

Let’s say you walk into a room and you’re self-conscious about how you look. However, you may have put a lot of time and effort into your outfit. Even though it may stand out, this is how you have chosen to express yourself.

You have to work on your internal confidence, not your external appearance. There’s nothing to change other than your outlook.

On the other hand, maybe there’s something that you don’t like about yourself that you can change. For example, maybe you hate how a birthmark on your face looks or have varicose veins that you think are unsightly. If you can do something about these things, do it! There’s nothing wrong with changing your appearance (or skills, education, etc.) if it’s going to make you more confident.

You don’t have to accept your current situation for acceptance’s sake. There’s no award for putting up with something you hate. Confidence is also required to make changes that are scary, even if they’re for the better. Plus, it may be an easier fix than you thought. For example, treating varicose veins doesn’t have to involve surgery — sometimes simple compression stockings will take care of the problem.[7]

7. Realize That Everyone Has Awkward Moments

Everyone has said something awkward to someone else and lived to tell the tale. We’ve all forgotten somebody’s name or said, “You too!” when the concession stand girl says to enjoy our movie. Not only are these things uber-common, but they’re not nearly as embarrassing as you feel they are.

Think about how you react when someone else does something awkward. Do you think, “Wow, that person’s such a loser!” or do you think, “What a relief, I’m not the only one who does that.” Chances are good that’s the same reaction others have to you when you stumble.

Remember, self-consciousness is a state of mind that you have control over. You don’t have to feel this way. Do what you need to in order to build your confidence, put your self-consciousness in perspective, and start exercising your “I feel awesome about myself” muscle. It’ll get easier with time.

When Is Being Self-Conscious a Good Thing?

Self-consciousness can sometimes be a good thing[8], but you have to take the awkwardness and nerves out of it.

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In this case, “self-aware” is a much better term. Knowing how you come off to people is an excellent trait; you’ll be able to read a room and understand how what you do and say affects others. These are fantastic skills for people work and personal relationships.

Self-awareness helps you dress appropriately for the occasion, tells you that you’re talking too loud or not loud enough, and guides a conversation so you don’t offend or bore anyone.

It’s not about being someone you’re not — that can actually have adverse effects, just like self-consciousness. Instead, it’s about turning up certain aspects of yourself to perform well in the situation.

Final Thoughts

When you’re self-conscious, you’re constantly battling with yourself in an effort to control how other people view you. You try to change yourself to suit what you think other people want to see.

The truth, though, is that you can’t actually control how other people view you — and you may not even be correct about how they view you in the first place.

Being confident doesn’t happen overnight. Instead, it happens in small steps as you slowly build your confidence and say “no” to your self-consciousness. It also requires accepting that you’re going to feel self-conscious sometimes, and that’s okay.

Sometimes worrying that there is a problem can be more stressful than the problem itself. Feeling bad for feeling self-conscious can be more troublesome than simply feeling it and getting on with the day.

Forgive yourself for being human and make the small changes that will lead to better confidence in the future.

More Tips for Improving Your Self-Esteem

Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Merriam-Webster: Self-conscious
[2] Bustle: 7 Tips On How To Stop Feeling Self-Conscious
[3] Marc and Angel: 10 Things to Remember When You Feel Unsure of Yourself
[4] Bostitch: How to Protect Small Businesses From Burnout
[5] Psychology Today: Self-conscious? Get Over It
[6] Wake Forest University: Embracing Holistic Medicine
[7] Center for Vein Restoration: What Causes Venous Ulcers, and How Are They Treated?
[8] Scientific American: The Pros and Cons of Being Self-Aware

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