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13 Little Things That Will Make You A Better Man

13 Little Things That Will Make You A Better Man

Change is the rule of life. No one has all the best qualities. We all have what we deserve to have, but if you are looking to achieve extra and want to improve your current situation, you have to improve who you are. You have to work to better yourself and to remove your errors.

Without appropriate guidance, it is difficult to walk on the path to become a better man in life. These simple steps will lead you in the right direction and will make your presence a lot more pleasant.

1. Love yourself

Exercise self-compassion and self-respect. Recognize your strengths and weaknesses, your faults and understand you are human and nobody is perfect. Always enjoy and love yourself, your unique spirit and skills. Take good care of yourself mentally, physically, spiritually and accompany yourself with people who respect and help you in developing your personality.

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2. Be ambitious in your own way

Men are naturally ambitious. All men want to be the breadwinners and have the admiration and respect for people around them. You should set goals for yourself in your career or profession and reinvent yourself whenever you need to beat your goals. Define your own idea of success. If you can’t identify your goals, contemplate what you really want to achieve in life and what is most important to you then head in that direction.

3. Don’t crumble under pressure

As a leader you might frequently face challenging and overwhelming situations. Instead of feeling stressed, getting emotional, panic and crumbling under pressure you must remain strong, clear-headed. Take these odd situations as a way to improve, learn and grow. People respect, appreciate and look up to such a person who can stay strong under pressure.

4. Be a man of your word

A man of his word is respected by others and can be trusted. A respected man honors his promises and sticks to it no matter what. Men who lie, exaggerate, cheat and turn back on what they’ve promised, are not respected by others. Always remember to promise on things that you can deliver and if you can’t deliver, tell the truth straightaway. By doing this, you will be respected for your honesty.

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5. Learn to control anger and jealousy

Love, anger, fear, jealousy and sympathy, all these kinds of emotions are part of our life, but negative emotions like anger or jealousy toward others, can leave you in a difficult situation. Dissolve these negative emotions by changing your primary beliefs of insecurity and mental predictions. To be a better man, maintain control over your attention so you can deliberately change your mental projection and the negative emotions you feel. Most respected men can sense the emotion of a situation, but they can retain and control their emotions.

6. Hold yourself accountable

The key difference between a man and an immature person is that men are responsible. Respected men take responsibilities, accept their obligations and are accountable for their actions. The crucial attributes for a successful man starts with accountability, the ability to keep the commitments one makes to oneself. Successful people don’t look for excuses to be successful; they hunt for the way to be successful, until they achieve it.

7. Give respect and expect respect in return

Successful people respect others and expect respect in return. Men should admire others, but they should expect respect in return. If you are not treated well and not given respect, then your generosity is either not valued or not justified. If you are proposing great value at work, then ask for a raise or for a promotion. If you give generously to a friend, expect and even claim that he show you respect and behave kindly towards you.

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8. Love others without judgment

To be loved and respected, love others without judgment because it leads to confusion. You will face situations in which some people might do or say things that would be meaningless or immature for you, but you need to be open-minded because that might be their understanding of the world about the situation. So, rather than being superior, smarter, wiser and better than others, just love them without judgment.

9. Always be yourself

“Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.” Bruce Lee

The pressure from the outer world can influence who you are. The world is continually developing, it is very important for you to be yourself for learning to be happy and self-assured in your own skin.

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10. Speak with good purpose

Words are powerful! Always try to show a positive intention and keep your words sincere. A few kind words can enlighten and uplift others. Speaking good words with positive intention is the foundation of healthy relationships.

11. Take the lead in situations

People respect those who leap forward to handle challenging situations. Generally those people are not admired, who stand back and look for others to resolve the problem. Some people avoid taking the lead because of fear of criticism. They think playing safe is a better option. A man should work out of his comfort zone and take the lead to find solutions. The more you act like a leader, the more respected you will be as a man.

12. Be a better man that people look up to

Try to live your daily life constructing your decisions and actions on the philosophy of “leading by example.” By doing so you will able to increase the levels of long-term confidence to develop the faith that everything else will fall into place as it is meant to. This deliberate lifestyle directs your way of actions toward attaining your goals. The more a successful man you become, the more people will certainly start to look up to you. Your character will inspire others around you to also begin applying your model in their lives. You will be someone people can follow, a leader of strength in this world.

13. Be manly

Being manly does not mean being macho. A better man possesses positive qualities of determination, strength, confidence, high moral qualities, honesty and integrity. A true man has the courage to deal with difficult situations, discomfort or challenges without backing away despite his fear.

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Tayyab Babar

Tayyab is a PR/Marketing consultant. He writes about work, productivity and tech tips at Lifehack.

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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