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13 Little Things That Will Make You A Better Man

13 Little Things That Will Make You A Better Man

Change is the rule of life. No one has all the best qualities. We all have what we deserve to have, but if you are looking to achieve extra and want to improve your current situation, you have to improve who you are. You have to work to better yourself and to remove your errors.

Without appropriate guidance, it is difficult to walk on the path to become a better man in life. These simple steps will lead you in the right direction and will make your presence a lot more pleasant.

1. Love yourself

Exercise self-compassion and self-respect. Recognize your strengths and weaknesses, your faults and understand you are human and nobody is perfect. Always enjoy and love yourself, your unique spirit and skills. Take good care of yourself mentally, physically, spiritually and accompany yourself with people who respect and help you in developing your personality.

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2. Be ambitious in your own way

Men are naturally ambitious. All men want to be the breadwinners and have the admiration and respect for people around them. You should set goals for yourself in your career or profession and reinvent yourself whenever you need to beat your goals. Define your own idea of success. If you can’t identify your goals, contemplate what you really want to achieve in life and what is most important to you then head in that direction.

3. Don’t crumble under pressure

As a leader you might frequently face challenging and overwhelming situations. Instead of feeling stressed, getting emotional, panic and crumbling under pressure you must remain strong, clear-headed. Take these odd situations as a way to improve, learn and grow. People respect, appreciate and look up to such a person who can stay strong under pressure.

4. Be a man of your word

A man of his word is respected by others and can be trusted. A respected man honors his promises and sticks to it no matter what. Men who lie, exaggerate, cheat and turn back on what they’ve promised, are not respected by others. Always remember to promise on things that you can deliver and if you can’t deliver, tell the truth straightaway. By doing this, you will be respected for your honesty.

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5. Learn to control anger and jealousy

Love, anger, fear, jealousy and sympathy, all these kinds of emotions are part of our life, but negative emotions like anger or jealousy toward others, can leave you in a difficult situation. Dissolve these negative emotions by changing your primary beliefs of insecurity and mental predictions. To be a better man, maintain control over your attention so you can deliberately change your mental projection and the negative emotions you feel. Most respected men can sense the emotion of a situation, but they can retain and control their emotions.

6. Hold yourself accountable

The key difference between a man and an immature person is that men are responsible. Respected men take responsibilities, accept their obligations and are accountable for their actions. The crucial attributes for a successful man starts with accountability, the ability to keep the commitments one makes to oneself. Successful people don’t look for excuses to be successful; they hunt for the way to be successful, until they achieve it.

7. Give respect and expect respect in return

Successful people respect others and expect respect in return. Men should admire others, but they should expect respect in return. If you are not treated well and not given respect, then your generosity is either not valued or not justified. If you are proposing great value at work, then ask for a raise or for a promotion. If you give generously to a friend, expect and even claim that he show you respect and behave kindly towards you.

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8. Love others without judgment

To be loved and respected, love others without judgment because it leads to confusion. You will face situations in which some people might do or say things that would be meaningless or immature for you, but you need to be open-minded because that might be their understanding of the world about the situation. So, rather than being superior, smarter, wiser and better than others, just love them without judgment.

9. Always be yourself

“Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.” Bruce Lee

The pressure from the outer world can influence who you are. The world is continually developing, it is very important for you to be yourself for learning to be happy and self-assured in your own skin.

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10. Speak with good purpose

Words are powerful! Always try to show a positive intention and keep your words sincere. A few kind words can enlighten and uplift others. Speaking good words with positive intention is the foundation of healthy relationships.

11. Take the lead in situations

People respect those who leap forward to handle challenging situations. Generally those people are not admired, who stand back and look for others to resolve the problem. Some people avoid taking the lead because of fear of criticism. They think playing safe is a better option. A man should work out of his comfort zone and take the lead to find solutions. The more you act like a leader, the more respected you will be as a man.

12. Be a better man that people look up to

Try to live your daily life constructing your decisions and actions on the philosophy of “leading by example.” By doing so you will able to increase the levels of long-term confidence to develop the faith that everything else will fall into place as it is meant to. This deliberate lifestyle directs your way of actions toward attaining your goals. The more a successful man you become, the more people will certainly start to look up to you. Your character will inspire others around you to also begin applying your model in their lives. You will be someone people can follow, a leader of strength in this world.

13. Be manly

Being manly does not mean being macho. A better man possesses positive qualities of determination, strength, confidence, high moral qualities, honesty and integrity. A true man has the courage to deal with difficult situations, discomfort or challenges without backing away despite his fear.

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Tayyab Babar

Tayyab is a PR/Marketing consultant. He writes about work, productivity and tech tips at Lifehack.

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Last Updated on December 4, 2020

How to Give Constructive Feedback in the Workplace

How to Give Constructive Feedback in the Workplace

We all crave constructive feedback. We want to know not just what we’re doing well but also what we could be doing better.

However, giving and getting constructive feedback isn’t just some feel-good exercise. In the workplace, it’s part and parcel of how companies grow.

Let’s take a closer look.

Why Constructive Feedback Is Critical

A culture of feedback benefits individuals on a team and the team itself. Constructive feedback has the following effects:

Builds Workers’ Skills

Think about the last time you made a mistake. Did you come away from it feeling attacked—a key marker of destructive feedback—or did you feel like you learned something new?

Every time a team member learns something, they become more valuable to the business. The range of tasks they can tackle increases. Over time, they make fewer mistakes, require less supervision, and become more willing to ask for help.

Boosts Employee Loyalty

Constructive feedback is a two-way street. Employees want to receive it, but they also want the feedback they give to be taken seriously.

If employees see their constructive feedback ignored, they may take it to mean they aren’t a valued part of the team. Nine in ten employees say they’d be more likely to stick with a company that takes and acts on their feedback.[1]

Strengthens Team Bonds

Without trust, teams cannot function. Constructive feedback builds trust because it shows that the giver of the feedback cares about the success of the recipient.

However, for constructive feedback to work its magic, both sides have to assume good intentions. Those giving the feedback must genuinely want to help, and those getting it has to assume that the goal is to build them up rather than to tear them down.

Promotes Mentorship

There’s nothing wrong with a single round of constructive feedback. But when it really makes a difference is when it’s repeated—continuous, constructive feedback is the bread and butter of mentorship.

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Be the change you want to see on your team. Give constructive feedback often and authentically, and others will naturally start to see you as a mentor.

Clearly, constructive feedback is something most teams could use more of. But how do you actually give it?

How to Give Constructive Feedback

Giving constructive feedback is tricky. Get it wrong, and your message might fall on deaf ears. Get it really wrong, and you could sow distrust or create tension across the entire team.

Here are ways to give constructive feedback properly:

1. Listen First

Often, what you perceive as a mistake is a decision someone made for a good reason. Listening is the key to effective communication.

Seek to understand: how did the other person arrive at her choice or action?

You could say:

  • “Help me understand your thought process.”
  • “What led you to take that step?”
  • “What’s your perspective?”

2. Lead With a Compliment

In school, you might have heard it called the “sandwich method”: Before (and ideally, after) giving difficult feedback, share a compliment. That signals to the recipient that you value their work.

You could say:

  • “Great design. Can we see it with a different font?”
  • “Good thinking. What if we tried this?”

3. Address the Wider Team

Sometimes, constructive feedback is best given indirectly. If your comment could benefit others on the team, or if the person whom you’re really speaking to might take it the wrong way, try communicating your feedback in a group setting.

You could say:

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  • “Let’s think through this together.”
  • “I want everyone to see . . .”

4. Ask How You Can Help

When you’re on a team, you’re all in it together. When a mistake happens, you have to realize that everyone—not just the person who made it—has a role in fixing it. Give constructive feedback in a way that recognizes this dynamic.

You could say:

  • “What can I do to support you?”
  • “How can I make your life easier?
  • “Is there something I could do better?”

5. Give Examples

To be useful, constructive feedback needs to be concrete. Illustrate your advice by pointing to an ideal.

What should the end result look like? Who has the process down pat?

You could say:

  • “I wanted to show you . . .”
  • “This is what I’d like yours to look like.”
  • “This is a perfect example.”
  • “My ideal is . . .”

6. Be Empathetic

Even when there’s trust in a team, mistakes can be embarrassing. Lessons can be hard to swallow. Constructive feedback is more likely to be taken to heart when it’s accompanied by empathy.

You could say:

  • “I know it’s hard to hear.”
  • “I understand.”
  • “I’m sorry.”

7. Smile

Management consultancies like Credera teach that communication is a combination of the content, delivery, and presentation.[2] When giving constructive feedback, make sure your body language is as positive as your message. Your smile is one of your best tools for getting constructive feedback to connect.

8. Be Grateful

When you’re frustrated about a mistake, it can be tough to see the silver lining. But you don’t have to look that hard. Every constructive feedback session is a chance for the team to get better and grow closer.

You could say:

  • “I’m glad you brought this up.”
  • “We all learned an important lesson.”
  • “I love improving as a team.”

9. Avoid Accusations

Giving tough feedback without losing your cool is one of the toughest parts of working with others. Great leaders and project managers get upset at the mistake, not the person who made it.[3]

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You could say:

  • “We all make mistakes.”
  • “I know you did your best.”
  • “I don’t hold it against you.”

10. Take Responsibility

More often than not, mistakes are made because of miscommunications Recognize your own role in them.

Could you have been clearer in your directions? Did you set the other person up for success?

You could say:

  • “I should have . . .”
  • “Next time, I’ll . . .”

11. Time it Right

Constructive feedback shouldn’t catch people off guard. Don’t give it while everyone is packing up to leave work. Don’t interrupt a good lunch conversation.

If in doubt, ask the person to whom you’re giving feedback to schedule the session themselves. Encourage them to choose a time when they’ll be able to focus on the conversation rather than their next task.

12. Use Their Name

When you hear your name, your ears naturally perk up. Use that when giving constructive feedback. Just remember that constructive feedback should be personalized, not personal.

You could say:

  • “Bob, I wanted to chat through . . .”
  • “Does that make sense, Jesse?”

13. Suggest, Don’t Order

When you give constructive feedback, it’s important not to be adversarial. The very act of giving feedback recognizes that the person who made the mistake had a choice—and when the situation comes up again, they’ll be able to choose differently.

You could say:

  • “Next time, I suggest . . .”
  • “Try it this way.”
  • “Are you on board with that?”

14. Be Brief

Even when given empathetically, constructive feedback can be uncomfortable to receive. Get your message across, make sure there are no hard feelings, and move on.

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One exception? If the feedback isn’t understood, make clear that you have plenty of time for questions. Rushing through what’s clearly an open conversation is disrespectful and discouraging.

15. Follow Up

Not all lessons are learned immediately. After giving a member of your team constructive feedback, follow it up with an email. Make sure you’re just as respectful and helpful in your written feedback as you are on your verbal communication.

You could say:

  • “I wanted to recap . . .”
  • “Thanks for chatting with me about . . .”
  • “Did that make sense?”

16. Expect Improvement

Although you should always deliver constructive feedback in a supportive manner, you should also expect to see it implemented. If it’s a long-term issue, set milestones.

By what date would you like to see what sort of improvement? How will you measure that improvement?

You could say:

  • “I’d like to see you . . .”
  • “Let’s check back in after . . .”
  • “I’m expecting you to . . .”
  • “Let’s make a dent in that by . . .”

17. Give Second Chances

Giving feedback, no matter how constructive, is a waste of time if you don’t provide an opportunity to implement it. Don’t set up a “gotcha” moment, but do tap the recipient of your feedback next time a similar task comes up.

You could say:

  • “I know you’ll rock it next time.”
  • “I’d love to see you try again.”
  • “Let’s give it another go.”

Final Thoughts

Constructive feedback is not an easy nut to crack. If you don’t give it well, then maybe it’s time to get some. Never be afraid to ask.

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Featured photo credit: Christina @ wocintechchat.com via unsplash.com

Reference

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