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13 Life Lessons to Excel In Your 30s

13 Life Lessons to Excel In Your 30s

With those fun, carefree days of your 20’s behind you, your 30’s can often feel like the real start of adulthood. That’s the case for me, at least, at the ripe age of 33: I’m five years into marriage and expecting my first kid. Regardless of what life stage you’re at, if you’re in your 30’s there are several life lessons I’ve learned that I think most of you can benefit from. Here are 13 of the most important.

Start saving for retirement now.

I know you’ve heard this one before but the earlier you start saving the more money you’ll have down the road. Compound interest is a beautiful thing. Don’t wait until your 40’s to start saving. Do it now.

Start taking better care of your health.

Your 30’s are a busy time. But life doesn’t slow down. The time to start caring about your health is now. Here’s the good news: eating well isn’t that difficult. Just eat real foods like whole grains, fruits and vegetables, healthy fats like olive oil and nuts, and lean meats and dairy (unless you’re a vegetarian, of course).

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Don’t spend time with people who bring you down.

We all deal with a lot of crappy people in our teens and twenties. Now’s the time to get rid of people who bring nothing but baggage. You don’t need them anymore. Start phasing out those folks and you’ll be better off for it.

Spend time with the people you care about.

On that note, here’s who you should be spending time with in your 30’s: people you care deeply about. Whether it’s your friends, your family, or your co-workers, spend time with people who make you laugh, smile, and enjoy life.

Focus on doing a few things really well.

You can’t be everything to everybody. It took me a long time to realize this. Especially when it comes to work, pick one or two skills you enjoy doing and master them. You’ll be able to build a very successful career out of this.

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Take risks.

While your 30’s may have a reputation for a time to “settle down,” don’t listen to this advice. Keep taking risks. Put yourself out there. Don’t be afraid to fail. If you do that, you will be rewarded in time.

Grow and learn every day.

Don’t be content with mediocrity either. Read as many books as possible. Watch TED talks. Go online and read articles on Lifehack. The happiest, most successful 30-somethings I know are the ones who constantly seek out knowledge.

Invest in your family.

We talked about investing your money into a retirement account but here’s the other way to invest your money: on your family. Whether you have a spouse, children, siblings, or parents who are still around, spend your money doing nice things for others you love and care about. It feels so much better than spending it on yourself.

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Stop sweating the little stuff.

Little, trivial things that seem to be a matter of life and death in your 20’s aren’t so important in your 30’s anymore. And guess what? The same will be the case in your 40’s. So stop focusing your mental energy on crap that doesn’t matter. You are what you think.

Spend money on experiences, not things.

We’ve talked about spending your money on savings and on your family. The third big thing to spend your money on is experiences. “Things” are never as fulfilling as we expect them to be. Experiences are though. So take that trip you’ve been putting off for a while. Do something spontaneous with someone you love this weekend. Go somewhere you’ve never been with friends and/or family.

Listen to your intuition.

The older we get, the more we refine our inner voice. Listen carefully. I tend to overanalyze and try to find the reason and logic in things. But more often than not our intuition guides us to the right place if we don’t overthink it.

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Keep a daily planner.

I know this may not sound like much, but the single biggest reason I’ve substantially increased my productivity in my 30’s is because of my daily planner. I use a cheap, paper-based planner and list out the things I want to accomplish each day to get me closer to my goals (e.g., exercise for 60 minutes, cook healthy dinner, work on business plan, write, etc.). Whether you use an app like Evernote or a piece of paper, checking things off your list every day is one of the best ways to create healthy habits, get more done and feel good about yourself in the process.

Go with the flow.

In your 30’s, bad stuff will happen to you. You may lose your job. Or people you love will die. Or you’ll get an unexpected bill that costs you thousands of dollars you don’t have. I’ve suffered through all of these. And you know what?  I’m still here. So are you. Take some time every day to reflect on that and be thankful. And then live each day in the moment, laughing and smiling as much as possible. If you do this, it’ll be the best decade of your life.

Featured photo credit: Millzero Photography via flickr.com

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Scott Christ

Scott Christ is a writer, entrepreneur, and founder of Pure Food Company.

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Last Updated on April 14, 2021

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

Expressing Anger

Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

Being Passive-Aggressive

This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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Poorly-Timed

Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

Ongoing Anger

Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

Healthy Ways to Express Anger

What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

Being Honest

Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

Being Direct

Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

Being Timely

When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

How to Deal With Anger

If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

1. Slow Down

From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

2. Focus on the “I”

Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

3. Work out

When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

If you’re not sure where to start with an exercise routine, check out Lifehack’s free Simple Cardio Home Workout Plan.

4. Seek Help When Needed

There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

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5. Practice Relaxation

We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

6. Laugh

Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

7. Be Grateful

It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

Final Thoughts

Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

More Resources on Anger Management

Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

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