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12 Things Only People Living Alone Would Understand

12 Things Only People Living Alone Would Understand

1. You Can Be As Clean (Or As Messy) As You Want

Most people have experienced living with someone who is either extremely tidy or untidy, often resulting in silent battles and feelings of resentment. Living alone means you can keep your home as clean or as messy as you like, without ever feeling guilty. If you want to leave a bowl of food out for a week, you can. If you want to wash your curtains every other day, you can. This is your home, and you get to decide how clean it is!

2. How Much Fun You Have Alone

Even though spending time with your friends is a lot of fun, sometimes spending time alone can be just as awesome.  You can choose everything, from the television show, to the snacks and the drinks. Or you could read. Or you could bake – either way, the choice is yours!

3. Sometimes You Don’t Wake Up On Time, Because There Isn’t Anyone To Make You Get Up

When you live alone you have to rely on yourself completely, which is extra hard when it comes to getting out of bed. When you live with other people, they can often help to (forcefully) motivate you to get out of bed. Now you live alone? You could sleep for 30 hours without anyone worrying – except your boss.

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4. Clothing Isn’t Essential

Once you are through the door, clothing becomes optional. Nudity is always more comfortable, and you can barely remember risky naked runs to the bathroom from back when you lived with other people. Avoid the windows and enjoy your freedom!

5. The Tired Feeling You Get When You Think About Cleaning

Most people understand the concept of tidying up, but you became a cleaning expert when you started living alone. Everything repeatedly needs cleaning, from the taps, to the oven, to your clothes – and you have to do it all yourself. However, you never have to clean up anyone else’s mess, for which you are eternally grateful.

6. All Of The Food In The Fridge Belongs To You

One of the main problems with sharing your home is having to also share your fridge and cupboard space. But if you live alone, all of the delicious food in the fridge belongs to you – and you no longer live with the fear that your housemates will eat some of it while you’re not looking. That bag of mozzarella? Safe from prying hands.

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7. Being Ill Is Somehow Much Worse

Living alone has lots of benefits when you’re not sick, but it can be a lot harder when you’re ill. You have to make your own hot drinks and soup, and there isn’t anyone who you can vent to. Although it feels very lonely at the time, when you’re better you feel proud that you can look after yourself. If you’re feeling particularly sorry for yourself, try making yourself this quick and easy chicken soup.

8. If You Forget To Pay For The Internet, You Won’t Get The Internet

One of the best parts of living alone is not having to rely on anyone – until it comes to bills. Living alone means if you forget to pay the bills, things start getting cut off. Thankfully, the fear of not being able to shower means you actually become great at keeping track of payment deadlines.

9. Talking To Yourself Is Totally Normal

Before you lived alone you rarely spoke to yourself, but now it is a daily routine. You’re happy to talk to yourself, or a spider, or your washing machine – anyone who will listen. There is never any fighting, and you agree with everything you say. Ideal!

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10. Sometimes, You Miss Your Housemates Or Families

Even though you love your independence and freedom, you often find yourself missing snuggling up on the sofa with your family. One part of you loves having control of the remote (and the interior design), and one part of you misses the good-natured playing with your family. Oh, the conflict!

11. You Can Do (Nearly) Anything    

During the time people live alone they often learn lots of new household skills. During your time living alone you may have learned how to repair broken appliances, or how to decorate a room. Toilet won’t flush? You know how to deal with that. Lightbulb needs changing? You could do it in your sleep! Living alone often teaches you useful life skills, while making you more self-reliant.

12. If You Don’t Make Dinner, You Go Hungry

One of the more challenging parts of living alone is having to cook every meal for yourself. While this often starts with burnt food in the bin and a chocolate bar in your hand, it eventually progresses to you learning how to cook some tasty dishes. Now you can cook whatever you want for tea, and the feeling of independence is nearly as good as the food.

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Can you think of anything else that you experienced while living alone? Comment with your ideas below!

More by this author

Amy Johnson

Amy is a writer who blogs about relationships and lifestyle advice.

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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