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12 Reasons To Be Your Own BFF

12 Reasons To Be Your Own BFF

The idea behind a Best Friend Forever (BFF) is someone who knows you like no other person. Your BFF is someone who has your best interests in mind, who knows and accepts you for who you are no matter what faults you might have or things you’ve done. Who’s to say your BFF has to be another person?

The thought of being your own BFF may be a little strange at first, especially because many people would think a friend is someone to rely on and give you advice. Below are a few reasons to help you realize you might not need a friend to build your confidence and be your crutch.

1. A BFF will agree with you because it’s what you want to hear.

Someone telling us we are making the right choice is helpful for our confidence. The problem with that is, we start to crave other people’s approval for every decision. This also gives us someone to blame if the decision turns out to be a bad one. When you rely on yourself to make your own decisions, you will be the one responsible for its success or failure. Making your own decisions and taking responsibility for them is a great method of building your character, too.

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2. BFFs have inside jokes.

While you might not be comfortable talking to yourself and laughing at your own jokes, you know what makes you smile. Being able to laugh at yourself might be hard for you. Look at it this way: if you’re with a friend and they they do something goofy, will you laugh at them? I think so. Why not laugh at yourself instead of getting angry or embarrassed?

3. A BFF will reassure you.

You can do this daily by being positive towards yourself. Track your daily progress towards your goals. When you work out and see your measurements change, for example, that’s something you did. Acknowledging that can build your confidence more than someone patting you on the back.

4. A BFF doesn’t know all of your insecurities.

Even though we talk to other people, we don’t tell them everything. Heck, we don’t even admit everything to ourselves most of the time. While you might appear to be confident and on top of your game, you are also self-conscious about something. It might be a fear of failure, not being comfortable with a big commitment, an addiction or something else. If you have a hard time admitting it to yourself, odds are you aren’t going to be chatty about your private problem with someone else. As they say, the first step is coming to the realization you have a problem. No one else can do that for you.

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5. A BFF won’t make you focus on things you want to accomplish.

No one can tell you your goals. They can make suggestions, but in the end, it’s your heart and dreams you follow. A BFF will encourage you when you have a goal, but their drive is more about seeing you happy. They have their own goals and dreams to follow. When you are your own BFF you can build habits to help you reach your goal. Whether or not the habits are working out more, eating better or starting that business you’ve always wanted to own, you are the one driving your own success.

6. You won’t be lonely.

Part of being your own BFF is learning to entertain yourself. I don’t mean to plop down on the couch and clear the DVR. What I mean is, you need to be able to be in a room with no one else and the TV off, and be content. This might be in the form of a hobby like reading or making something. Learning something like a new language or to play the guitar could qualify here. Many times we rely on other things or other people to entertain us. By really getting to know our own interests, we can start to find things we can enjoy by ourselves.

7. You’ll learn to trust yourself.

Trust is hard to regain when lost. We tend to be most critical of ourselves, so learning to trust ourselves is not the easiest thing once we have made a few bad choices. We will start second guessing ourselves. We start to question whether we know what it is we really want or should be doing with our lives.

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8. You won’t hold a grudge.

Other people can misinterpret your intentions. They also have their own point of view on situations and on your actions. They can be hurt and not be able to forgive you. Being your own BFF means you need to forgive yourself. In the end, we are responsible for ourselves. If we can’t forgive and love ourselves, how can we expect to love and forgive anyone else?

9. You’ll tap into powerful self respect.

Respect is earned. Self respect is something earned through learning to be happy with yourself. No one can make you love yourself. No one can make you see how great you are. These come from within. By creating the person you’d like to be, you will love yourself more. The more you love yourself and who you are, the more you will see your value and feel the self respect you’ve earned along the journey.

10. You will always be there…for yourself.

Self-soothing is a parenting technique used with infants. Self-soothing teaches the child to be calm and work through their problem by themselves. The same applies to adults. Many adults really can’t solve their own problems. As soon as something unpleasant happens, they run to someone else to have them fix it. When the other person isn’t readily available, it adds to the drama of the situation. Being able to step back and rationally look at the problem and come up with a solution is part of being an adult. Making decisions to better your life is not something you should rely on someone else for. It’s your life.

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11. You won’t back down.

No one will fight harder for your dreams than you will. At the end of the day, your goals are yours alone. Failure and success are your doing. If you want to make your goals happen, do it. It’s all you.

12. You can’t take advantage of yourself

People in our lives will have ulterior motives. They might want to piggy-back on your success. They could want to sweet talk you into loaning them money. Whatever the reason is, some people will tell you what you want to hear so they can get what they want. While you wouldn’t expect your BFF to do this, it can happen. You can’t really have an ulterior motive while doing the things you do for yourself. The only person you’d cheat is yourself.

Featured photo credit: BFF on the ice via flickr.com

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Last Updated on August 16, 2018

10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

The ability to take risks by stepping outside your comfort zone is the primary way by which we grow. But we are often afraid to take that first step.

In truth, comfort zones are not really about comfort, they are about fear. Break the chains of fear to get outside. Once you do, you will learn to enjoy the process of taking risks and growing in the process.

Here are 10 ways to help you step out of your comfort zone and get closer to success:

1. Become aware of what’s outside of your comfort zone

What are the things that you believe are worth doing but are afraid of doing yourself because of the potential for disappointment or failure?

Draw a circle and write those things down outside the circle. This process will not only allow you to clearly identify your discomforts, but your comforts. Write identified comforts inside the circle.

2. Become clear about what you are aiming to overcome

Take the list of discomforts and go deeper. Remember, the primary emotion you are trying to overcome is fear.

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How does this fear apply uniquely to each situation? Be very specific.

Are you afraid of walking up to people and introducing yourself in social situations? Why? Is it because you are insecure about the sound of your voice? Are you insecure about your looks?

Or, are you afraid of being ignored?

3. Get comfortable with discomfort

One way to get outside of your comfort zone is to literally expand it. Make it a goal to avoid running away from discomfort.

Let’s stay with the theme of meeting people in social settings. If you start feeling a little panicked when talking to someone you’ve just met, try to stay with it a little longer than you normally would before retreating to comfort. If you stay long enough and practice often enough, it will start to become less uncomfortable.

4. See failure as a teacher

Many of us are so afraid of failure that we would rather do nothing than take a shot at our dreams.

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Begin to treat failure as a teacher. What did you learn from the experience? How can you take that lesson to your next adventure to increase your chance of success?

Many highly successful people failed plenty of times before they succeeded. Here’re some examples:

10 Famous Failures to Success Stories That Will Inspire You to Carry On

5. Take baby steps

Don’t try to jump outside your comfort zone, you will likely become overwhelmed and jump right back in.

Take small steps toward the fear you are trying to overcome. If you want to do public speaking, start by taking every opportunity to speak to small groups of people. You can even practice with family and friends.

Take a look at this article on how you can start taking baby steps:

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The Number One Secret to Life Success: Baby Steps

6. Hang out with risk takers

There is no substitute for this step. If you want to become better at something, you must start hanging out with the people who are doing what you want to do and start emulating them. (Here’re 8 Reasons Why Risk Takers Are More Likely To Be Successful).

Almost inevitably, their influence will start have an effect on your behavior.

7. Be honest with yourself when you are trying to make excuses

Don’t say “Oh, I just don’t have the time for this right now.” Instead, be honest and say “I am afraid to do this.”

Don’t make excuses, just be honest. You will be in a better place to confront what is truly bothering you and increase your chance of moving forward.

8. Identify how stepping out will benefit you

What will the ability to engage in public speaking do for your personal and professional growth? Keep these potential benefits in mind as motivations to push through fear.

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9. Don’t take yourself too seriously

Learn to laugh at yourself when you make mistakes. Risk taking will inevitably involve failure and setbacks that will sometimes make you look foolish to others. Be happy to roll with the punches when others poke fun.

If you aren’t convinced yet, check out these 6 Reasons Not to Take Life So Seriously.

10. Focus on the fun

Enjoy the process of stepping outside your safe boundaries. Enjoy the fun of discovering things about yourself that you may not have been aware of previously.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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