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12 Reasons To Be Your Own BFF

12 Reasons To Be Your Own BFF

The idea behind a Best Friend Forever (BFF) is someone who knows you like no other person. Your BFF is someone who has your best interests in mind, who knows and accepts you for who you are no matter what faults you might have or things you’ve done. Who’s to say your BFF has to be another person?

The thought of being your own BFF may be a little strange at first, especially because many people would think a friend is someone to rely on and give you advice. Below are a few reasons to help you realize you might not need a friend to build your confidence and be your crutch.

1. A BFF will agree with you because it’s what you want to hear.

Someone telling us we are making the right choice is helpful for our confidence. The problem with that is, we start to crave other people’s approval for every decision. This also gives us someone to blame if the decision turns out to be a bad one. When you rely on yourself to make your own decisions, you will be the one responsible for its success or failure. Making your own decisions and taking responsibility for them is a great method of building your character, too.

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2. BFFs have inside jokes.

While you might not be comfortable talking to yourself and laughing at your own jokes, you know what makes you smile. Being able to laugh at yourself might be hard for you. Look at it this way: if you’re with a friend and they they do something goofy, will you laugh at them? I think so. Why not laugh at yourself instead of getting angry or embarrassed?

3. A BFF will reassure you.

You can do this daily by being positive towards yourself. Track your daily progress towards your goals. When you work out and see your measurements change, for example, that’s something you did. Acknowledging that can build your confidence more than someone patting you on the back.

4. A BFF doesn’t know all of your insecurities.

Even though we talk to other people, we don’t tell them everything. Heck, we don’t even admit everything to ourselves most of the time. While you might appear to be confident and on top of your game, you are also self-conscious about something. It might be a fear of failure, not being comfortable with a big commitment, an addiction or something else. If you have a hard time admitting it to yourself, odds are you aren’t going to be chatty about your private problem with someone else. As they say, the first step is coming to the realization you have a problem. No one else can do that for you.

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5. A BFF won’t make you focus on things you want to accomplish.

No one can tell you your goals. They can make suggestions, but in the end, it’s your heart and dreams you follow. A BFF will encourage you when you have a goal, but their drive is more about seeing you happy. They have their own goals and dreams to follow. When you are your own BFF you can build habits to help you reach your goal. Whether or not the habits are working out more, eating better or starting that business you’ve always wanted to own, you are the one driving your own success.

6. You won’t be lonely.

Part of being your own BFF is learning to entertain yourself. I don’t mean to plop down on the couch and clear the DVR. What I mean is, you need to be able to be in a room with no one else and the TV off, and be content. This might be in the form of a hobby like reading or making something. Learning something like a new language or to play the guitar could qualify here. Many times we rely on other things or other people to entertain us. By really getting to know our own interests, we can start to find things we can enjoy by ourselves.

7. You’ll learn to trust yourself.

Trust is hard to regain when lost. We tend to be most critical of ourselves, so learning to trust ourselves is not the easiest thing once we have made a few bad choices. We will start second guessing ourselves. We start to question whether we know what it is we really want or should be doing with our lives.

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8. You won’t hold a grudge.

Other people can misinterpret your intentions. They also have their own point of view on situations and on your actions. They can be hurt and not be able to forgive you. Being your own BFF means you need to forgive yourself. In the end, we are responsible for ourselves. If we can’t forgive and love ourselves, how can we expect to love and forgive anyone else?

9. You’ll tap into powerful self respect.

Respect is earned. Self respect is something earned through learning to be happy with yourself. No one can make you love yourself. No one can make you see how great you are. These come from within. By creating the person you’d like to be, you will love yourself more. The more you love yourself and who you are, the more you will see your value and feel the self respect you’ve earned along the journey.

10. You will always be there…for yourself.

Self-soothing is a parenting technique used with infants. Self-soothing teaches the child to be calm and work through their problem by themselves. The same applies to adults. Many adults really can’t solve their own problems. As soon as something unpleasant happens, they run to someone else to have them fix it. When the other person isn’t readily available, it adds to the drama of the situation. Being able to step back and rationally look at the problem and come up with a solution is part of being an adult. Making decisions to better your life is not something you should rely on someone else for. It’s your life.

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11. You won’t back down.

No one will fight harder for your dreams than you will. At the end of the day, your goals are yours alone. Failure and success are your doing. If you want to make your goals happen, do it. It’s all you.

12. You can’t take advantage of yourself

People in our lives will have ulterior motives. They might want to piggy-back on your success. They could want to sweet talk you into loaning them money. Whatever the reason is, some people will tell you what you want to hear so they can get what they want. While you wouldn’t expect your BFF to do this, it can happen. You can’t really have an ulterior motive while doing the things you do for yourself. The only person you’d cheat is yourself.

Featured photo credit: BFF on the ice via flickr.com

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Last Updated on December 10, 2019

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

Here’s the truth: your effectiveness at life is not what it could be. You’re missing out.

Each day passes by and you have nothing to prove that it even happened. Did you achieve something? Go on a date? Have an emotional breakthrough? Who knows?

But what you do know is that you don’t want to make the same mistakes that you’ve made in the past.

Our lives are full of hidden gems of knowledge and insight, and the most recent events in our lives contain the most useful gems of all. Do you know why? It’s simple, those hidden lessons are the most up to date, meaning they have the largest impact on what we’re doing right now.

But the question is, how do you get those lessons? There’s a simple way to do it, and it doesn’t involve time machines:

Journal writing.

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Improved mental clarity, the ability to see our lives in the big picture, as well as serving as a piece of evidence cataloguing every success we’ve ever had; we are provided all of the above and more by doing some journal writing.

Journal writing is a useful and flexible tool to help shed light on achieving your goals.

Here’s 5 smart reasons why you should do journal writing:

1. Journals Help You Have a Better Connection with Your Values, Emotions, and Goals

By journaling about what you believe in, why you believe it, how you feel, and what your goals are, you understand your relationships with these things better. This is because you must sort through the mental clutter and provide details on why you do what you do and feel what you feel.

Consider this:

Perhaps you’ve spent the last year or so working at a job you don’t like. It would be easy to just suck it up and keep working with your head down, going on as if it’s supposed to be normal to not like your job. Nobody else is complaining, so why should you, right?

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But a little journal writing will set things straight for you. You don’t like your job. You feel like it’s robbing you of happiness and satisfaction, and you don’t see yourself better there in the future.

The other workers? Maybe they don’t know, maybe they don’t care. But you do, you know and care enough to do something about it. And you’re capable of fixing this problem because your journal writing allows you to finally be honest with yourself about it.

2. Journals Improve Mental Clarity and Help Improve Your Focus

If there’s one thing journal writing is good for, it’s clearing the mental clutter.

How does it work? Simply, whenever you have a problem and write about it in a journal, you transfer the problem from your head to the paper. This empties the mind, allowing allocation of precious resources to problem-solving rather than problem-storing.

Let’s say you’ve been juggling several tasks at work. You’ve got data entry, testing, e-mails, problems with the boss, and so on—enough to overwhelm you—but as you start journal writing, things become clearer and easier to understand: Data entry can actually wait till Thursday; Bill kindly offered earlier to do my testing; For e-mails, I can check them now; the boss is just upset because Becky called in sick, etc.

You become better able to focus and reason your tasks out, and this is an indispensable and useful skill to have.

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3. Journals Improve Insight and Understanding

As a positive consequence of improving your mental clarity, you become more open to insights you may have missed before. As you write your notes out, you’re essentially having a dialogue with yourself. This draws out insights that you would have missed otherwise; it’s almost as if two people are working together to better understand each other. This kind of insight is only available to the person who has taken the time to connect with and understand themselves in the form of writing.

Once you’ve gotten a few entries written down, new insights can be gleaned from reading over them. What themes do you see in your life? Do you keep switching goals halfway through? Are you constantly dating the same type of people who aren’t good for you? Have you slowly but surely pushed people out of your life for fear of being hurt?

All of these questions can be answered by simply self-reflecting, but you can only discover the answers if you’ve captured them in writing. These questions are going to be tough to answer without a journal of your actions and experiences.

4. Journals Track Your Overall Development

Life happens, and it can happen fast. Sometimes we don’t take the time to stop and look around at what’s happening to us at each moment. We don’t get to see the step-by-step progress that we’re making in our own lives. So what happens? One day it’s the future, and you have no idea how you’ve gotten there.

Journal writing allows you to see how you’ve changed over time, so you can see where you did things right, and you can see where you took a misstep and fell.

The great thing about journals is that you’ll know what that misstep was, and you can make sure it doesn’t happen again—all because you made sure to log it, allowing yourself to learn from your mistakes.

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5. Journals Facilitate Personal Growth

The best thing about journal writing is that no matter what you end up writing about, it’s hard to not grow from it. You can’t just look at a past entry in which you acted shamefully and say “that was dumb, anyway!” No, we say “I will never make a dumb choice like that again!”

It’s impossible not to grow when it comes to journal writing. That’s what makes journal writing such a powerful tool, whether it’s about achieving goals, becoming a better person, or just general personal-development. No matter what you use it for, you’ll eventually see yourself growing as a person.

Kickstart Journaling

How can journaling best be of use to you? To vent your emotions? To help achieve your goals? To help clear your mind? What do you think makes journaling such a useful life skill?

Know the answer? Then it’s about time you reap the benefits of journal writing and start putting pen to paper.

Here’s what you can do to start journaling:

Featured photo credit: Jealous Weekends via unsplash.com

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