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12 Important Things You Should Say To Your Partner Everyday

12 Important Things You Should Say To Your Partner Everyday

Building a strong relationship is one of the most challenging and rewarding parts of a happy life. While there is no instruction manual for assembling your ideal partnership there are a few simple things you can say to your partner everyday to get you on the right track. Make a habit out of saying the following 12 things to your significant other (without sounding like a robot) and pretty soon you will be that adorable couple that make all your friends sick.

1. “I love you.”

love

    “I love you” is the easiest and most obvious thing to tell your partner. It even requires the least creativity on your part. Just make sure you mean it. Saying those three little words too often and without thinking will rob them of their meaning. Try to bust out an “I love you” whenever your partner makes you laugh or whenever they do something that reminds you why you are together. If you say the words while you are really feeling them your better half will hear the difference.

    2. “I was thinking about you.”

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      It’s important to let your partner know that they are on your mind even when you aren’t necessarily in the same room. If you see something cute or funny over the course of your day that reminds you of your partner, let them know. Inside jokes are a great way to connect the mundane “real world” to the world you share with each other. Send your significant other a text as it happens or save the story for downtime on the couch. Just don’t underestimate the effect that a “I saw something that reminded me of you…” can have on a relationship.

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      3. “How was your day?”

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        It’s easy to fall into the trap of repeating this phrase verbatim every day, but if you put some thought into it you will feel more connected to your partner. Ask about specific things your better half deals with in their day-to-day. Ask about that annoying co-worker or about the big assignment they’ve been working on. Giving your partner a way to share other parts of their life with you will help connect the dots between the times when you are together. It may also help you understand why they are always in a bad mood on Thursdays so you can be ready with their favorite dinner.

        4. “I support you.”

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          Encourage your partner by letting them know you support their decisions. Even go one step further and try to help them accomplish goals they have set for themselves. Life is full of obstacles and feeling like you have another person in your corner can go a long way to helping you overcome them. Don’t just be a couple, be a team. Reminding your better half that you have their back will strengthen the ties between you.

          5. “You get my motor going.”

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            If you’ve been in a relationship for a long time it is easy to fall into a less than thrilling routine. That makes it all the more important to remind you partner that they still excite you. Letting them know that “You look smokin’ hot in that dress.” or saying “You should not where a shirt more often.” will make them feel better about themselves and remind you why you started dating in the first place.

            6. “Sorry.”

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              Everybody screws up and everyone is wrong sometimes. Occasionally we even dig our heels in about something only to later discover we had no idea what we were talking about. Stubbornness has no place in a happy relationship, so apologize when you make a mistake. Apologize for getting angry. Apologize for hurting your partner’s feelings. Even apologize for things that aren’t your fault. Letting your significant other know that you are sorry that they had a crappy day is another way to remind them you are on the same team.

              7. “You’re the best.”

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                Your partner should be one of (if not your best) friend. If you don’t like hanging out, you definitely shouldn’t be in a relationship. It may not come as naturally as some of the other items on this list, but let your partner know that you think they are great. This is another one that works great paired with a laugh. A chuckling “You’re the best.” can be sincere and heartfelt. Don’t be afraid to throw in a “You’re my favourite.” during a quiet moment, either.

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                8. “I love your mind.”

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                  Something that is easy to overlook when dolling out compliments is your partner’s mind. We live in a superficial world with models and bodybuilders at every turn, but that is no excuse to let your relationship be superficial too. Tell your partner that you value their mind. Let them know that you think they are smart, funny, romantic, or talented. The goal of any healthy relationship is to have it last until well after beauty fades, so remind your partner that you’re in it for the long haul by valuing their mind equally with their body.

                  9. “I respect you.”

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                    Just like with your non-romantic friends, respect is a critical piece of your relationship with your significant other. Let them know that you hold them in high regard by asking for their opinion on things that are giving you trouble. Let your partner know that you admire something they did that took a lot of courage. When a person feels respected they also feel happy and safe, which are two cornerstones to any good relationship.

                    10. “I disagree.”

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                      Part of respecting your partner is letting them know when you disagree with them. No one wants to marry a push over and no one wants to raise children with a yes-man. You may be a team, but the strength of any team is in the thoughts and actions of its individual members. Maintain your own opinions and voice them in a respectful manner. Offering a different perspective may help your partner find solutions to problems that they might not have otherwise considered.

                      11. “We should go…”

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                        As we learned in phrase #5, excitement is an important part of a fun relationship. You and your partner should share experiences and memories as well as thoughts and opinions, so plan adventures together. Daydream about hiking up Mount Kilimanjaro or snorkeling the Great Barrier Reef. Try new things together. The only thing that gets the heart racing more than love is skydiving!

                        12. “Goodnight.”

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                          We live in an age when communication has never been easier. With the push of a button we can send impulse thoughts across oceans, so there is no excuse for not saying goodnight. It not only serves the practical function of letting your partner know you are now trying to sleep, it also lets them know that you are thinking about them. Even if you haven’t spoken all day, and even (especially) if you’ve been arguing, end the day on a positive note.

                          Featured photo credit: Andi_Graf via pixabay.com

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                          Last Updated on January 15, 2021

                          7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

                          7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

                          The popular idiomatic saying that “actions speak louder than words” has been around for centuries, but even to this day, most people struggle with at least one area of nonverbal communication. Consequently, many of us aspire to have more confident body language but don’t have the knowledge and tools necessary to change what are largely unconscious behaviors.

                          Given that others’ perceptions of our competence and confidence are predominantly influenced by what we do with our faces and bodies, it’s important to develop greater self-awareness and consciously practice better posture, stance, eye contact, facial expressions, hand movements, and other aspects of body language.

                          Posture

                          First things first: how is your posture? Let’s start with a quick self-assessment of your body.

                          • Are your shoulders slumped over or rolled back in an upright posture?
                          • When you stand up, do you evenly distribute your weight or lean excessively to one side?
                          • Does your natural stance place your feet relatively shoulder-width apart or are your feet and legs close together in a closed-off position?
                          • When you sit, does your lower back protrude out in a slumped position or maintain a straight, spine-friendly posture in your seat?

                          All of these are important considerations to make when evaluating and improving your posture and stance, which will lead to more confident body language over time. If you routinely struggle with maintaining good posture, consider buying a posture trainer/corrector, consulting a chiropractor or physical therapist, stretching daily, and strengthening both your core and back muscles.

                          Facial Expressions

                          Are you prone to any of the following in personal or professional settings?

                          • Bruxism (tight, clenched jaw or grinding teeth)
                          • Frowning and/or furrowing brows
                          • Avoiding direct eye contact and/or staring at the ground

                          If you answered “yes” to any of these, then let’s start by examining various ways in which you can project confident body language through your facial expressions.

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                          1. Understand How Others Perceive Your Facial Expressions

                          A December 2020 study by UC Berkeley and Google researchers utilized a deep neural network to analyze facial expressions in six million YouTube clips representing people from over 140 countries. The study found that, despite socio-cultural differences, people around the world tended to use about 70% of the same facial expressions in response to different emotional stimuli and situations.[1]

                          The study’s researchers also published a fascinating interactive map to demonstrate how their machine learning technology assessed various facial expressions and determined subtle differences in emotional responses.

                          This study highlights the social importance of facial expressions because whether or not we’re consciously aware of them—by gazing into a mirror or your screen on a video conferencing platform—how we present our faces to others can have tremendous impacts on their perceptions of us, our confidence, and our emotional states. This awareness is the essential first step towards

                          2. Relax Your Face

                          New research on bruxism and facial tension found the stresses and anxieties of Covid-19 lockdowns led to considerable increases in orofacial pain, jaw-clenching, and teeth grinding, particularly among women.[2]

                          The National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research estimates that more than 10 million Americans alone have temporomandibular joint dysfunction (TMJ syndrome), and facial tension can lead to other complications such as insomnia, wrinkles, dry skin, and dark, puffy bags under your eyes.[3])

                          To avoid these unpleasant outcomes, start practicing progressive muscle relaxation techniques and taking breaks more frequently throughout the day to moderate facial tension.[4] You should also try out some biofeedback techniques to enhance your awareness of involuntary bodily processes like facial tension and achieve more confident body language as a result.[5]

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                          3. Improve Your Eye Contact

                          Did you know there’s an entire subfield of kinesic communication research dedicated to eye movements and behaviors called oculesics?[6] It refers to various communication behaviors including direct eye contact, averting one’s gaze, pupil dilation/constriction, and even frequency of blinking. All of these qualities can shape how other people perceive you, which means that eye contact is yet another area of nonverbal body language that we should be more mindful of in social interactions.

                          The ideal type (direct/indirect) and duration of eye contact depends on a variety of factors, such as cultural setting, differences in power/authority/age between the parties involved, and communication context. Research has shown that differences in the effects of eye contact are particularly prominent when comparing East Asian and Western European/North American cultures.[7]

                          To improve your eye contact with others, strive to maintain consistent contact for at least 3 to 4 seconds at a time, consciously consider where you’re looking while listening to someone else, and practice eye contact as much as possible (as strange as this may seem in the beginning, it’s the best way to improve).

                          3. Smile More

                          There are many benefits to smiling and laughing, and when it comes to working on more confident body language, this is an area that should be fun, low-stakes, and relatively stress-free.

                          Smiling is associated with the “happiness chemical” dopamine and the mood-stabilizing hormone, serotonin. Many empirical studies have shown that smiling generally leads to positive outcomes for the person smiling, and further research has shown that smiling can influence listeners’ perceptions of our confidence and trustworthiness as well.

                          4. Hand Gestures

                          Similar to facial expressions and posture, what you do with your hands while speaking or listening in a conversation can significantly influence others’ perceptions of you in positive or negative ways.

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                          It’s undoubtedly challenging to consciously account for all of your nonverbal signals while simultaneously trying to stay engaged with the verbal part of the discussion, but putting in the effort to develop more bodily awareness now will make it much easier to unconsciously project more confident body language later on.

                          5. Enhance Your Handshake

                          In the article, “An Anthropology of the Handshake,” University of Copenhagen social anthropology professor Bjarke Oxlund assessed the future of handshaking in wake of the Covid-19 pandemic:[8]

                          “Handshakes not only vary in function and meaning but do so according to social context, situation and scale. . . a public discussion should ensue on the advantages and disadvantages of holding on to the tradition of shaking hands as the conventional gesture of greeting and leave-taking in a variety of circumstances.”

                          It’s too early to determine some of the ways in which Covid-19 has permanently changed our social norms and professional etiquette standards, but it’s reasonable to assume that handshaking may retain its importance in American society even after this pandemic. To practice more confident body language in the meantime, the video on the science of the perfect handshake below explains what you need to know.

                          6. Complement Your Verbals With Hand Gestures

                          As you know by now, confident communication involves so much more than simply smiling more or sounding like you know what you’re talking about. What you do with your hands can be particularly influential in how others perceive you, whether you’re fidgeting with an object, clenching your fists, hiding your hands in your pockets, or calmly gesturing to emphasize important points you’re discussing.

                          Social psychology researchers have found that “iconic gestures”—hand movements that appear to be meaningfully related to the speaker’s verbal content—can have profound impacts on listeners’ information retention. In other words, people are more likely to engage with you and remember more of what you said when you speak with complementary hand gestures instead of just your voice.[9]

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                          Further research on hand gestures has shown that even your choice of the left or right hand for gesturing can influence your ability to clearly convey information to listeners, which supports the notion that more confident body language is readily achievable through greater self-awareness and deliberate nonverbal actions.[10]

                          Final Takeaways

                          Developing better posture, enhancing your facial expressiveness, and practicing hand gestures can vastly improve your communication with other people. At first, it will be challenging to consciously practice nonverbal behaviors that many of us are accustomed to performing daily without thinking about them.

                          If you ever feel discouraged, however, remember that there’s no downside to consistently putting in just a little more time and effort to increase your bodily awareness. With the tips and strategies above, you’ll be well on your way to embracing more confident body language and amplifying others’ perceptions of you in no time.

                          More Tips on How to Develop a Confident Body Language

                          Featured photo credit: Maria Lupan via unsplash.com

                          Reference

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