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12 Important Things You Should Say To Your Partner Everyday

12 Important Things You Should Say To Your Partner Everyday

Building a strong relationship is one of the most challenging and rewarding parts of a happy life. While there is no instruction manual for assembling your ideal partnership there are a few simple things you can say to your partner everyday to get you on the right track. Make a habit out of saying the following 12 things to your significant other (without sounding like a robot) and pretty soon you will be that adorable couple that make all your friends sick.

1. “I love you.”

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    “I love you” is the easiest and most obvious thing to tell your partner. It even requires the least creativity on your part. Just make sure you mean it. Saying those three little words too often and without thinking will rob them of their meaning. Try to bust out an “I love you” whenever your partner makes you laugh or whenever they do something that reminds you why you are together. If you say the words while you are really feeling them your better half will hear the difference.

    2. “I was thinking about you.”

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      It’s important to let your partner know that they are on your mind even when you aren’t necessarily in the same room. If you see something cute or funny over the course of your day that reminds you of your partner, let them know. Inside jokes are a great way to connect the mundane “real world” to the world you share with each other. Send your significant other a text as it happens or save the story for downtime on the couch. Just don’t underestimate the effect that a “I saw something that reminded me of you…” can have on a relationship.

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      3. “How was your day?”

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        It’s easy to fall into the trap of repeating this phrase verbatim every day, but if you put some thought into it you will feel more connected to your partner. Ask about specific things your better half deals with in their day-to-day. Ask about that annoying co-worker or about the big assignment they’ve been working on. Giving your partner a way to share other parts of their life with you will help connect the dots between the times when you are together. It may also help you understand why they are always in a bad mood on Thursdays so you can be ready with their favorite dinner.

        4. “I support you.”

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          Encourage your partner by letting them know you support their decisions. Even go one step further and try to help them accomplish goals they have set for themselves. Life is full of obstacles and feeling like you have another person in your corner can go a long way to helping you overcome them. Don’t just be a couple, be a team. Reminding your better half that you have their back will strengthen the ties between you.

          5. “You get my motor going.”

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            If you’ve been in a relationship for a long time it is easy to fall into a less than thrilling routine. That makes it all the more important to remind you partner that they still excite you. Letting them know that “You look smokin’ hot in that dress.” or saying “You should not where a shirt more often.” will make them feel better about themselves and remind you why you started dating in the first place.

            6. “Sorry.”

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              Everybody screws up and everyone is wrong sometimes. Occasionally we even dig our heels in about something only to later discover we had no idea what we were talking about. Stubbornness has no place in a happy relationship, so apologize when you make a mistake. Apologize for getting angry. Apologize for hurting your partner’s feelings. Even apologize for things that aren’t your fault. Letting your significant other know that you are sorry that they had a crappy day is another way to remind them you are on the same team.

              7. “You’re the best.”

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                Your partner should be one of (if not your best) friend. If you don’t like hanging out, you definitely shouldn’t be in a relationship. It may not come as naturally as some of the other items on this list, but let your partner know that you think they are great. This is another one that works great paired with a laugh. A chuckling “You’re the best.” can be sincere and heartfelt. Don’t be afraid to throw in a “You’re my favourite.” during a quiet moment, either.

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                8. “I love your mind.”

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                  Something that is easy to overlook when dolling out compliments is your partner’s mind. We live in a superficial world with models and bodybuilders at every turn, but that is no excuse to let your relationship be superficial too. Tell your partner that you value their mind. Let them know that you think they are smart, funny, romantic, or talented. The goal of any healthy relationship is to have it last until well after beauty fades, so remind your partner that you’re in it for the long haul by valuing their mind equally with their body.

                  9. “I respect you.”

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                    Just like with your non-romantic friends, respect is a critical piece of your relationship with your significant other. Let them know that you hold them in high regard by asking for their opinion on things that are giving you trouble. Let your partner know that you admire something they did that took a lot of courage. When a person feels respected they also feel happy and safe, which are two cornerstones to any good relationship.

                    10. “I disagree.”

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                      Part of respecting your partner is letting them know when you disagree with them. No one wants to marry a push over and no one wants to raise children with a yes-man. You may be a team, but the strength of any team is in the thoughts and actions of its individual members. Maintain your own opinions and voice them in a respectful manner. Offering a different perspective may help your partner find solutions to problems that they might not have otherwise considered.

                      11. “We should go…”

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                        As we learned in phrase #5, excitement is an important part of a fun relationship. You and your partner should share experiences and memories as well as thoughts and opinions, so plan adventures together. Daydream about hiking up Mount Kilimanjaro or snorkeling the Great Barrier Reef. Try new things together. The only thing that gets the heart racing more than love is skydiving!

                        12. “Goodnight.”

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                          We live in an age when communication has never been easier. With the push of a button we can send impulse thoughts across oceans, so there is no excuse for not saying goodnight. It not only serves the practical function of letting your partner know you are now trying to sleep, it also lets them know that you are thinking about them. Even if you haven’t spoken all day, and even (especially) if you’ve been arguing, end the day on a positive note.

                          Featured photo credit: Andi_Graf via pixabay.com

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                          Last Updated on April 6, 2020

                          10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively

                          10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively

                          Most discussions on positively influencing others eventually touch on Dale Carnegie’s seminal work, How to Win Friends and Influence People. Written more than 83 years ago, the book touches on a core component of human interaction, building strong relationships. It is no wonder why.

                          Everything that we do hinges on our ability to connect with others and formulate deep relationships. You cannot sell a house, buy a house, advance in most careers, sell a product, pitch a story, teach a course, etc. without building healthy relationships. Managers get the best results from their teams, not through brute force, but to careful appeals to their sensibilities, occasional withdrawals from the reservoir of respect they’ve built. Using these tactics, they can influence others to excellence, to productivity, and to success.

                          Carnegie’s book is great. Of course, there are other resources too. Most of us have someone in our lives who positively influences us. The truth is positively influencing people is about centering the humanity of others. Chances are, you know someone who is really good at making others feel like stars. They can get you to do things that the average person cannot. Where the requests of others sound like fingernails on a chalkboard, the request from this special person sounds like music to your ears. You’re delighted to not only listen but also to oblige.

                          So how to influence people in a positive way? Read on for tips.

                          1. Be Authentic

                          To influence people in a positive way, be authentic. Rather than being a carbon copy of someone else’s version of authenticity, uncover what it is that makes you unique.

                          Discover your unique take on an issue and then live up to and honor that. Once of the reasons social media influencers are so powerful is that they have carved out a niche for themselves or taken a common issue and approached it from a novel or uncommon way. People instinctually appreciate people whose public persona matches their private values.

                          Contradictions bother us because we crave stability. When someone professes to be one way, but lives contrary to that profession, it signals that they are confused or untrustworthy and thereby, inauthentic. Neither of these combinations bode well for positively influencing others.

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                          2. Listen

                          Growing up, my father would tell me to listen to what others said. He told me if I listened carefully, I would know all I needed to know about a person’s character, desires and needs.

                          To positively influence others, you must listen to what is spoken and what is left unsaid. Therein lies the explanation for what people need in order to feel validated, supported and seen. If a person feels they are invisible, and unseen by their superiors, they are less likely to be positively influenced by that person.

                          Listening meets a person’s primary need of validation and acceptance.

                          Take a look at this guide on how to be a better listener: How to Practice Active Listening (A Step-By-Step Guide)

                          3. Become an Expert

                          Most people are predisposed to listen to, if not respect, authority. If you want to positively influence others, become an authority in the area in which you seek to lead others. Research and read everything you can about the given topic, and then look for opportunities to put your education into practice.

                          You can argue over opinions. You cannot argue, or it is unwise to argue, over facts and experts come with facts.

                          4. Lead with Story

                          From years of working in the public relations space, I know that personal narratives, testimonials and impact stories are incredibly powerful. But I never cease to be amazed with how effective a well-timed and told story can be.

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                          If you want to influence people, learn to tell stories. Your stories should be related to the issue or concept you are discussing. They should be an analogy or metaphor that explains your topic in ordinary terms and in vivid detail. To learn more about how to tell powerful stories, and the ethics of storytelling, take a look at this article: How To Tell An Interesting Story In 4 Simple Steps

                          5. Lead by Example

                          It is incredibly inspiring to watch passionate, talented people at work or play. One of the reasons a person who is not an athlete can be in awe of athletic prowess is because human nature appreciates the extraordinary. When we watch the Olympics, Olympic trials, gymnastic competitions, ice skating, and other competitive sports, we can recognize the effort of people who day in and day out give their all. C

                          ase in point: Simone Biles. The gymnast extraordinaire won her 6TH all-around title at the U.S. Gymnastics Championships after doing a triple double. She was the first woman to do so. Watching her gave me chills. Even non-gymnasts and non-competitive athletes can appreciate the talent required to pull off such a remarkable feat.

                          We celebrate remarkable accomplishments and believe that their example is proof that we too can accomplish something great, even if it isn’t qualifying for the Olympics. To influence people in a positive way, we must lead by example, lead with intention and execute with excellence.

                          6. Catch People Doing Good

                          A powerful way to influence people in a positive way is to catch people doing good. Instead of looking for problems, look for successes. Look for often overlooked, but critically important things that your peers, subordinates and managers do that make the work more effective and more enjoyable.

                          Once you catch people doing good, name and notice their contributions.

                          7. Be Effusive with Praise

                          It did not take me long to notice a remarkable trait of a former boss. He not only began and ended meetings with praise, but he peppered praise throughout the entire meeting. He found a way to celebrate the unique attributes and skills of his team members. He was able to quickly and accurately assess what people were doing well and then let them and their colleagues know.

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                          Meetings were not just an occasion to go through a “To Do” list, they were opportunities to celebrate accomplishments, no matter how small they are.

                          8. Be Kind Rather Than Right

                          I am going to level with you; this one is tough. It is easy to get caught up in a cycle of proving oneself. For people who lack confidence, or people who prioritize the opinions of others, being right is important. The validation that comes with being perceived as “right” feeds one’s ego. But in the quest to be “right,” we can hurt other people. Once we’ve hurt someone by being unkind, it is much harder to get them to listen to what we’re trying to influence them to do.

                          The antidote to influencing others via bullying is to prioritize kindness above rightness. You can be kind and still stand firm in your position. For instance, many people think that they need others to validate their experience. If a person does not see the situation you experienced in the way you see it, you get upset. But your experience is your experience.

                          If you and your friends go out to eat and you get food poisoning, you do not need your friends to agree that the food served at the restaurant was problematic for you. Your own experience of getting food poisoning is all the validation you need. Therefore, taking time to be right is essentially wasted and, if you were unkind in seeking validation for your food-poison experience, now you’ve really lost points.

                          9. Understand a Person’s Logical, Emotional and Cooperative Needs

                          The Center for Creative Leadership has argued that the best way to influence others is to appeal to their logical, emotional and cooperative needs. Their logical need is their rational and educational need. Their emotional need is the information that touches them in a deeply personal manner. The cooperative need is understanding the level of cooperation various individuals need and then appropriately offering it.

                          The trick with this system is to understand that different people need different things. For some people, a strong emotional appeal will outweigh logical explanations. For others, having an opportunity to collaborate will override emotional connection.

                          If you know your audience, you will know what they need in order to be positively influenced. If you have limited information about the people whom you are attempting to influence, you will be ineffective.

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                          10. Understand Your Lane

                          If you want to positively influence others, operate from your sphere of influence. Operate from your place of expertise. Leave everything else to others. Gone are the days when being a jack of all trades is celebrated.

                          Most people appreciate brands that understand their target audience and then deliver on what that audience wants. When you focus on what you are uniquely gifted and qualified to do, and then offer that gift to the people who need it, you are likely more effective. This effectiveness is attractive.

                          You cannot positively influence others if you are more preoccupied by what others do well versus what you do well.

                          Final Thoughts

                          Influencing people is about centering your humanity. If you want to influence others positively, focus on the way you communicate and improve the relationship with yourself first.

                          It’s hard to influence others if you’re still trying to figure out how to communicate with yourself.

                          More Tips About Making Influence

                          Featured photo credit: Wonderlane via unsplash.com

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