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11 Ways You Can Find the Purpose of Life

11 Ways You Can Find the Purpose of Life

To find the purpose of life you must first find out what you love to do most and then make a difference in the world by doing it.  Your purpose is not what you do but what makes you feel good when your doing it, what lights you up and makes you happy. Read on to to begin your journey, one of these ideas might just be the key to unlock your purpose.

1. Write it Down

Start a journal to unlock hidden thoughts of your subconscious and explore a part of you that has been dormant for a long time.  Write your daily thoughts about what made you feel good that day or even what didn’t make you feel good. Write a daily gratitude list for all the things that you were thankful for that day. The point I’m trying to make is that writing will allow you to look at your life with deeper meaning and unravel the parts of you that remain hidden.  It’s a great (and easy!) way to find the purpose of life relevant to you.

2. Find Your Passion

Passion is an energy of excitement when you’re doing what you love. What are the things that make you feel great? What action or activity gives you genuine excitement? Identifying your passions allows you to begin living your purpose because your purpose comes from the way you feel when you love what you do.  Are you excited to tell people what you do? If not, what would be something you could be doing right now that would awaken your excitement and passion?

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3. Identify Your Strengths

Identifying your strengths and the qualities that make you stand out allows you to pinpoint what you need to do to bring purpose and meaning to your life. Your strengths are an important part of the equation to find your purpose so you can use them to make a difference in the world and achieve life fulfillment.

4. Think About What You Want Your Life to Be

Seriously. What do you want your life to look like 1 year, 2 years or 5 years from now? Are you taking the necessary steps so it can look the way you want it to be? Take a look at your life right now, what changes can you make to achieve the future you’re envisioning? The key is to start making those changes today.

5. Think About What You Don’t Want Your Life to Be

I remember driving down the high street one day when it was pouring with rain, freezing cold and appeared dark and gloomy. It was around 8.50 a.m. and as I drove past a post office, I noticed a queue of people who (I assume) had retired from their jobs, waiting for the post office to open so they could collect their pension money. Even though there is nothing wrong with this, in that moment I told myself I personally did not want to be the one standing at that post office in the future. Knowing what you want AND what you don’t want helps you plot out your life path accordingly.

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What don’t you want? And what do you need to do to avoid going down the wrong path?

6. Have a Vision

Vision without action is merely a dream. Action without vision just passes the time. Vision with action can change the world. ~ Joel A. Barker

Vision gives you something to focus on instead of walking through life aimlessly. You are here for a reason, so create your vision. Make the vision bold and worthy enough to give you meaning and purpose for its achievement.

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7. Ask Yourself an Important Question

If you had all the money in the world, what would you be doing? Think about that!

What exactly would you be doing if money wasn’t a factor in making your decision? Perhaps teaching, or travelling, maybe even singing? Answering this question is an easy way to finding your purpose!

8. What Are Your Values?

Are you living your values? Do you even know what they are? You should be, because values are the driving force behind everything you do, including your daily decisions. Knowing your values helps you to understand yourself better and will allow you to live your life with authenticity, integrity and of course, purpose.

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9. Start Reading Books That Matter

Read books that inspire you, teach you how to improve your life and live to your full potential. These kind of books have helped me grow and expand my knowledge and creativity.  It helps open your mind, broaden your perspectives and spark ideas so you can make a change to your own life and and other people’s lives.

10. Try Meditation

You don’t need to sit and meditate for an hour.  Spending as little to 5 to 10 minutes a day to reflect on your life and goals may just be enough to give you the clarity and insight you need to reach your life goals.

11. Take the Time to Travel Often

Traveling, and the new experiences that comes along with it, will open your mind  and give you new opportunities, ideas and inspiration that you might not have had otherwise if you stayed within your comfort zone.  Trying new things, meeting new people and seeing how others live differently in different place might just give you a new passion for your life, as well as being grateful for what you’ve already accomplished.

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Diana Reid

CEO - Moxie House Ltd

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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