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11 Ways You Can Find the Purpose of Life

11 Ways You Can Find the Purpose of Life

To find the purpose of life you must first find out what you love to do most and then make a difference in the world by doing it.  Your purpose is not what you do but what makes you feel good when your doing it, what lights you up and makes you happy. Read on to to begin your journey, one of these ideas might just be the key to unlock your purpose.

1. Write it Down

Start a journal to unlock hidden thoughts of your subconscious and explore a part of you that has been dormant for a long time.  Write your daily thoughts about what made you feel good that day or even what didn’t make you feel good. Write a daily gratitude list for all the things that you were thankful for that day. The point I’m trying to make is that writing will allow you to look at your life with deeper meaning and unravel the parts of you that remain hidden.  It’s a great (and easy!) way to find the purpose of life relevant to you.

2. Find Your Passion

Passion is an energy of excitement when you’re doing what you love. What are the things that make you feel great? What action or activity gives you genuine excitement? Identifying your passions allows you to begin living your purpose because your purpose comes from the way you feel when you love what you do.  Are you excited to tell people what you do? If not, what would be something you could be doing right now that would awaken your excitement and passion?

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3. Identify Your Strengths

Identifying your strengths and the qualities that make you stand out allows you to pinpoint what you need to do to bring purpose and meaning to your life. Your strengths are an important part of the equation to find your purpose so you can use them to make a difference in the world and achieve life fulfillment.

4. Think About What You Want Your Life to Be

Seriously. What do you want your life to look like 1 year, 2 years or 5 years from now? Are you taking the necessary steps so it can look the way you want it to be? Take a look at your life right now, what changes can you make to achieve the future you’re envisioning? The key is to start making those changes today.

5. Think About What You Don’t Want Your Life to Be

I remember driving down the high street one day when it was pouring with rain, freezing cold and appeared dark and gloomy. It was around 8.50 a.m. and as I drove past a post office, I noticed a queue of people who (I assume) had retired from their jobs, waiting for the post office to open so they could collect their pension money. Even though there is nothing wrong with this, in that moment I told myself I personally did not want to be the one standing at that post office in the future. Knowing what you want AND what you don’t want helps you plot out your life path accordingly.

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What don’t you want? And what do you need to do to avoid going down the wrong path?

6. Have a Vision

Vision without action is merely a dream. Action without vision just passes the time. Vision with action can change the world. ~ Joel A. Barker

Vision gives you something to focus on instead of walking through life aimlessly. You are here for a reason, so create your vision. Make the vision bold and worthy enough to give you meaning and purpose for its achievement.

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7. Ask Yourself an Important Question

If you had all the money in the world, what would you be doing? Think about that!

What exactly would you be doing if money wasn’t a factor in making your decision? Perhaps teaching, or travelling, maybe even singing? Answering this question is an easy way to finding your purpose!

8. What Are Your Values?

Are you living your values? Do you even know what they are? You should be, because values are the driving force behind everything you do, including your daily decisions. Knowing your values helps you to understand yourself better and will allow you to live your life with authenticity, integrity and of course, purpose.

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9. Start Reading Books That Matter

Read books that inspire you, teach you how to improve your life and live to your full potential. These kind of books have helped me grow and expand my knowledge and creativity.  It helps open your mind, broaden your perspectives and spark ideas so you can make a change to your own life and and other people’s lives.

10. Try Meditation

You don’t need to sit and meditate for an hour.  Spending as little to 5 to 10 minutes a day to reflect on your life and goals may just be enough to give you the clarity and insight you need to reach your life goals.

11. Take the Time to Travel Often

Traveling, and the new experiences that comes along with it, will open your mind  and give you new opportunities, ideas and inspiration that you might not have had otherwise if you stayed within your comfort zone.  Trying new things, meeting new people and seeing how others live differently in different place might just give you a new passion for your life, as well as being grateful for what you’ve already accomplished.

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Diana Reid

CEO - Moxie House Ltd

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Last Updated on March 30, 2020

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

Have you ever walked into a room and felt like your nerves simply couldn’t handle it? Your heart beats fast, you start to sweat, and you feel like all eyes are on you (even if they’re really not). This is just one of the many ways that being self-conscious can rear its ugly head.

You may not even realize you’re self-conscious, and you may be wondering, “What does self-conscious mean?” That’s a good place to start.

This article will define self-consciousness, show how practically everyone has faced it at one point or another, and give you tips to avoid it.

What Does Self-Conscious Mean?

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, self-conscious is defined as “conscious of one’s own acts or states as belonging to or originating in oneself.”[1]

Not so bad, right? There’s another definition, though — one that speaks more to what you’re going through: “feeling uncomfortably conscious of oneself as an object of the observation of others.” For those of us who regularly deal with extreme self-consciousness, that second definition sounds about right.

There are many different ways self-consciousness can spring up. You may feel self-conscious around people you know, like your family members or closest friends. You may feel self-conscious at work, even though you spend hours every week around your co-workers. Or you may feel self-conscious when out in public and surrounded by strangers. However, you probably don’t feel self-conscious when you’re home alone.

How to Stop Being Too Self-Conscious

When you’re in the throes of self-consciousness, it’s nearly impossible to remember how to stop feeling that way. That’s why it’s so important to prepare ahead of time, when you’re feeling ready to tackle the problem instead of succumbing to it.

Here are a variety of ways to feel better about yourself and stop thinking about how others see you.

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1. Ask Yourself, “So What?”

One way to banish negative, self-conscious thoughts is to do just that: banish them.

The next time you walk into a room and feel your face getting red, think to yourself, “So what?” How much does it really matter if people don’t like how you look or act? What’s the worst that could happen?

Most of the time, you’ll find that you don’t have a good answer to this question. Then, you can immediately start assigning such thoughts less importance. With self-awareness, you can acknowledge that your negative thoughts are present and realize that you don’t agree with them.[2] They’re just thoughts, after all.

2. Be Honest

A lie that self-consciousness might tell is that there’s one way to act or feel. Honestly, though, everyone else is just figuring life out as well. There isn’t a preferred way to show up to an event, gathering, or public place. What you can do is be honest with your feelings and thoughts.[3]

If you feel offended by something someone says, you don’t have to smile to be polite or laugh to fit in with the crowd. Instead, you can politely say why you disagree or excuse yourself and find a group of people who you relate to better. If you’re nervous, don’t overcompensate by trying to look relaxed and casual — it’ll be obvious you’re putting on a front. Instead, nothing is more endearing than saying, “I’m a little nervous!” to a room of people who probably feel the exact same way.

On the same note, if you don’t understand why someone wants you to do something, question it. You can do this at work, at home, or even with people you don’t know well. Nobody should force you to do something you don’t want to do.

Also, even if you’re willing to do what’s asked of you, there’s nothing wrong with asking for more clarification. People will realize that you’re not a person to be bossed around.

3. Understand Why You’re Struggling at Work

Being self-conscious at work can get in the way of your daily responsibilities, your relationships with co-workers, and even your career as a whole. If you’re facing some sort of conflict but you’re too nervous to speak up, you may be at the whim of what happens to you instead of taking some control.

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If you’re usually confident at work, you may be wondering where this new self-consciousness is coming from. It’s possible that you’re dealing with burnout.[4] Common signs are anxiety, fatigue and distraction, all of which can leave you feeling under-confident.

4. Succeed at Something

When you create success in your life, it’s easier to feel confident[5] and less self-conscious. If you feel self-conscious at work, finish the project that’s been looming over your head. If you feel self-conscious in the gym, complete an advanced workout class.

Exposing yourself to what you’re scared of and then succeeding at it in some way (even just by finishing it) can do wonders for your self-esteem. The more confidence you build, the more likely you are to have more success in the future, which will create a cycle of confidence-building.

5. Treat All of You — Not Just Your Self-Consciousness

Trying to solve your self-consciousness alone may not treat the root of the problem. Instead, take a well-rounded approach to lower your self-consciousness and build confidence in areas where you may struggle.

Even professional counselors are embracing this holistic type of treatment[6] because they feel that the health of the mind and body are inextricably linked. This approach combines physical, spiritual, and psychological components. Common activities and treatments include meditation, yoga, massage, and healthy changes to diet and exercise.

If much of this is new to you, it will pay to give it a try. You never know how it will impact you.

If you’re feeling self-conscious about how your body looks, a massage that makes you feel great could boost your confidence. If you try a new workout, you could have something exciting to talk about the next time you’re in a group setting.

Putting yourself in a new situation and learning that you can get through it with grace can give you the confidence to get through all sorts of events and nerve-wracking moments.

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6. Make the Changes That Are Within Your Control

Let’s say you walk into a room and you’re self-conscious about how you look. However, you may have put a lot of time and effort into your outfit. Even though it may stand out, this is how you have chosen to express yourself.

You have to work on your internal confidence, not your external appearance. There’s nothing to change other than your outlook.

On the other hand, maybe there’s something that you don’t like about yourself that you can change. For example, maybe you hate how a birthmark on your face looks or have varicose veins that you think are unsightly. If you can do something about these things, do it! There’s nothing wrong with changing your appearance (or skills, education, etc.) if it’s going to make you more confident.

You don’t have to accept your current situation for acceptance’s sake. There’s no award for putting up with something you hate. Confidence is also required to make changes that are scary, even if they’re for the better. Plus, it may be an easier fix than you thought. For example, treating varicose veins doesn’t have to involve surgery — sometimes simple compression stockings will take care of the problem.[7]

7. Realize That Everyone Has Awkward Moments

Everyone has said something awkward to someone else and lived to tell the tale. We’ve all forgotten somebody’s name or said, “You too!” when the concession stand girl says to enjoy our movie. Not only are these things uber-common, but they’re not nearly as embarrassing as you feel they are.

Think about how you react when someone else does something awkward. Do you think, “Wow, that person’s such a loser!” or do you think, “What a relief, I’m not the only one who does that.” Chances are good that’s the same reaction others have to you when you stumble.

Remember, self-consciousness is a state of mind that you have control over. You don’t have to feel this way. Do what you need to in order to build your confidence, put your self-consciousness in perspective, and start exercising your “I feel awesome about myself” muscle. It’ll get easier with time.

When Is Being Self-Conscious a Good Thing?

Self-consciousness can sometimes be a good thing[8], but you have to take the awkwardness and nerves out of it.

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In this case, “self-aware” is a much better term. Knowing how you come off to people is an excellent trait; you’ll be able to read a room and understand how what you do and say affects others. These are fantastic skills for people work and personal relationships.

Self-awareness helps you dress appropriately for the occasion, tells you that you’re talking too loud or not loud enough, and guides a conversation so you don’t offend or bore anyone.

It’s not about being someone you’re not — that can actually have adverse effects, just like self-consciousness. Instead, it’s about turning up certain aspects of yourself to perform well in the situation.

Final Thoughts

When you’re self-conscious, you’re constantly battling with yourself in an effort to control how other people view you. You try to change yourself to suit what you think other people want to see.

The truth, though, is that you can’t actually control how other people view you — and you may not even be correct about how they view you in the first place.

Being confident doesn’t happen overnight. Instead, it happens in small steps as you slowly build your confidence and say “no” to your self-consciousness. It also requires accepting that you’re going to feel self-conscious sometimes, and that’s okay.

Sometimes worrying that there is a problem can be more stressful than the problem itself. Feeling bad for feeling self-conscious can be more troublesome than simply feeling it and getting on with the day.

Forgive yourself for being human and make the small changes that will lead to better confidence in the future.

More Tips for Improving Your Self-Esteem

Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Merriam-Webster: Self-conscious
[2] Bustle: 7 Tips On How To Stop Feeling Self-Conscious
[3] Marc and Angel: 10 Things to Remember When You Feel Unsure of Yourself
[4] Bostitch: How to Protect Small Businesses From Burnout
[5] Psychology Today: Self-conscious? Get Over It
[6] Wake Forest University: Embracing Holistic Medicine
[7] Center for Vein Restoration: What Causes Venous Ulcers, and How Are They Treated?
[8] Scientific American: The Pros and Cons of Being Self-Aware

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