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11 Ways To Have Romance In Long Distance Relationships

11 Ways To Have Romance In Long Distance Relationships

Long distance relationships are tough. There is no need to sugarcoat it. Being miles away from one another puts stress on the relationship because it requires an extraordinary amount of trust and dedication. It can be so frustrating to keep the connection you once had when the two of you were right beside each other. Fret not. There are lots of ways to keep the romance in long distance relationships.

How do I know this? I speak from personal experience.

It was not easy, but we made it work. We had already been dating for two plus years seeing each other every day. Then he got a big boy job and had to travel, living out of hotels for two brutal years. Our time being apart seemed like it would never end until one day we found out he received a permanent job assignment. We are still together, living under one roof six months later, so I would say we had success with the whole long distance thing.

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One tricky thing was keeping the romance. You cannot look one another in the eye, much less give hugs, kisses or go on a romantic date. We had to get creative. Without romance, the relationship is basically only a friendship, which is not a bad thing, but many people crave something deeper. Here are some ways I found to have romance in long distance relationships.

1. Send good morning text messages.

It sounds sappy, but we almost always texted each other good morning and good night. It is good to let your partner know that you are thinking about them when you wake up and when you are going to sleep. If you are feeling super ambitious, ask a couple of thoughtful questions such as “How was your sleep?” or “What are you up to today?”

2. Plan date nights.

Sure, you cannot sit in the same room, but maybe you are able to watch the same television show at the same time. Some of the most fun memories of long distance dating was curling up on the couch with my phone beside me, texting my boyfriend comments on the show we were watching.

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3. Send photo texts of your day.

In today’s world, it is easy to communicate all day if you wish. Try to remind your lover you are thinking about him or her by sending an occasional photo text of something you are doing. I am pretty big into food photography, so he would send me pictures of his meals if he had the opportunity to eat somewhere fancy. He even did a whole blog post for me about food he ate on the road. If that isn’t love, I’m not sure what is!

4. Pay attention on phone calls.

There is a tendency when you are dating long distance to want to spend as much time on the phone together as possible. Since there are many things to be done around the home, we might also be doing the laundry or dishes or glancing at the television. What is better: a short amount of quality time or a long period filled with distractions where neither party is paying attention to one another? Try just planting it on a chair and giving him/her your undivided attention. You would be surprised at the difference it makes!

5. Send a care package.

I think I only did this once since he was bouncing around to so many different hotels, but it was so fun! Keeping the secret and having him find it on his own to bring up to me later kept things exciting for a little bit. Plus it showed him I was thinking about him.

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6. Surprise him/her with a visit.

This one you need to be careful of as you do not want to be an inconvenience. Hosting someone takes time and planning, so do give them a little warning.

7. Always have the next visit planned.

Along with occasional “surprise” visits, make sure you know when you will see one another next. It gives both of you something to look forward to and you can count down the days until you see your loved one next.

8. Make sure to laugh together.

Send him a joke. Send her a link filled with funny cat pictures. There is an emotional connection formed when we laugh together, so keep that connection alive.

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9. Video chat with one another.

This was an activity that was either a lot of fun or quite frustrating. Neither of us had phones that would do video so we had to use Skype, which relied on possibly crappy internet service. We finally figured out that having Skype up on our laptops and chatting on the phone was the best solution. It really does help to see your partner face-to-face, so try finding a good video app you can both use.

10. Send an e-mail or snail mail love letter.

Texting is great, but you can only say so much. Phone conversation is lovely, but you might not be able to articulate what you are feeling on the spot. Take time to put pen to paper (or finger to keyboard) to express exactly what you love about one another.

11. Lastly, talk/text/e-mail romantically.

Hopefully you are attracted to one another, so do not forget to express that attraction no matter what the distance is between the two of you.

Romance is one of the hardest things to keep alive in a long distance relationship, but do not forget about it. Months could go by before seeing one another. Sometimes you can get so caught up in your own life that you forget about the other person. This is understandable at times, but review this list of ways to have romance in long distance relationships when you feel like you are losing touch with the romance. Long distance relationships can be a true pain, but there is also the phrase, “absence makes the heart grow fonder.” Remember that and push on!

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Amanda DeWitt

Writer. Photographer. Instagrammer. Future Educator.

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The Gentle Art of Saying No

The Gentle Art of Saying No

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

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But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

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What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

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But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here are the Top 10 tips for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No:

  1. Value your time. Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”
  2. Know your priorities. Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time? For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.
  3. Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
  4. Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.
  5. Stop being nice. Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets. Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.
  6. Say no to your boss. Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.
  7. Pre-empting. It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting, “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”
  8. Get back to you. Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them: “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.” At least you gave it some consideration.
  9. Maybe later. If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say, “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].” Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.
  10. It’s not you, it’s me. This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time. Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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