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11 Simple Ways to Become a Better Person

11 Simple Ways to Become a Better Person

Nobody’s perfect. Most people are aware of their shortcomings and want to become better. It will impact their profession, their relationships, and their body image. Here are 10 tips to become a better person. If you are perfect, there is no need to read on!

1. Show some respect

If you are late, rude, or do not reply to phone calls, messages, and emails, then there is something wrong. Here are the main areas where you can make sure that you are not offending anyone. If you can tick these off, be pleased with yourself. It means that you show respect for people and their time:

• You are always punctual.
• You reply to messages and phone calls the same day.
• You deal with emails within two business days at the most.
• You are totally reliable – you do what you promise.
• You show respect for people’s opinions but are not afraid to express your own.
• You recognize people’s efforts and can say thank you in an appropriate way.
• You never change arrangements at the last minute, unless there is an emergency.

2. Work for a healthy body and mind

“To keep the body in good health is a duty… otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear.” Buddha

Obviously, a healthy mind and body are inextricably linked. They go hand in hand. Exercising regularly helps the body to stay in good shape. There is the added bonus that endorphins are produced after exercise which lift your mood and can stave off depression. Study after study has shown that exercise may be far more beneficial than anti-depressants for the treatment of depression and anxiety.

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3. Learn how to be assertive

“The minute you start compromising for the sake of massaging somebody’s ego, that’s it, game over.” Gordon Ramsay

You can be a better person by empathizing and sympathizing with people. There is a risk of going too far with this and you end up by being a doormat. You may be putting the other person’s needs first and neglecting your own. You may have to make compromises which are not to your advantage.

When you reach the stage of being the world’s best empathizer, it is time to make two lists. The first is full of all the things you have done; the second is what you have gotten back in return. No prizes for guessing which one is the shortest!

Then you make a third list containing what you expect to get back and actually mention these things at the appropriate moment. The objective is to get two lists which are the same length. This is when you have to be assertive.

4. Eat well

Being a better person depends very much on what you eat. If you do not make any effort to eat a healthy diet, you will find that your health is at risk. Diabetes and obesity may start to stalk you. You start to feel unwell and that destroys your good mood. You become less sociable. It is a downward spiral.

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5. Broaden your horizons

Everybody loves routine. It is comforting and leads to a sense of well-being. But when that comfort zone becomes a rut, then it is time to sit up and take notice. Doing exactly the same things, watching the same TV shows, and hanging out with the same old people will ensure that your life is like a nuclear fallout shelter!

Time to go to new places, do different things, and eat ethnic cuisine. Make new friends and promise yourself to do one different thing each week.

6. Be a hero

It does not take much to be a hero. Simple acts of kindness will not cost you anything. Help people with photocopies in the office, or offer to carry shopping bags for an older person. Spread a little karma and you will be rewarded.

7. Listen up

Being a good listener has many great advantages. It demonstrates that you are empathetic and at the same time, lets you off the hook in making any comments. Just listen!

8. Gravitate towards positive people.

“Positive anything is better than negative nothing.” Elbert Hubbard

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This is a no-brainer. Negative people will dispense bitterness, regret, pessimism, envy, and sorrow. Positive people radiate joy, gratitude, hope, optimism, and energy. These people can inspire and uplift. You choose!

9. Be thankful

Once you start counting your blessings, you almost immediately become a better person. You can keep a gratitude journal where you jot down things for which you are truly grateful. There are numerous benefits for your health. You are in a better mood and you feel more relaxed and less envious.

At your job, you can make faster decisions, work better, and you get on well with colleagues. Research done by psychology professor, Robert Emmons, at the University of California shows innumerable health benefits. He says that gratitude is the best approach to life.

10. Look at nature

Be inspired by a beautiful sunset, a starry night, or an awesome dawn. Any activity which makes you aware of the beauty of nature is bound to make you a better person. In fact studies show that people are more empathetic and have nobler goals after exposure to nature.

11. Help somebody

When you help a person in need, you are not just empathizing. You are taking it a step further and showing your concern for a fellow human being. It makes you feel grateful. You also feel more confident in yourself and less preoccupied with your own problems.

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So, how did you do? Do you think you can be a better person or do you think that you do all these things anyway? If that is the case, congratulations! If you are not scoring 100%, well, not to worry. All you need to do is to start with just one and work on it. One day at a time.

“When characters change on screen, it makes you feel better about yourself. You think, ‘Oh, I change too, I’m constantly becoming a better person.’” Jason Reitman

Featured photo credit: John Goodridge via via Flickr

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Robert Locke

Author of Ziger the Tiger Stories, a health enthusiast specializing in relationships, life improvement and mental health.

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Last Updated on December 17, 2018

Why You Think You’re Not Good Enough and How To Believe in Yourself

Why You Think You’re Not Good Enough and How To Believe in Yourself

Have you ever wanted to say something at work, but a little voice of doubt crept in and said, “what if you are wrong”?

Maybe you wanted to apply for that promotion or ask that special someone on a date, but something kept you from taking action. When you think you’re not good enough, you tend to fear the outcome and lack faith in your abilities. That is why it is vital you discover how to believe in yourself so you can accomplish your goals and create your dream life.

Whatever your situation, the fears and self-doubt your false beliefs create will always stop you in your tracks. Identifying the beliefs that cause you to sabotage your life is the first step to removing them.

Self-doubt causes inaction, and inaction leads to regret. When you are not following your passion and living your dream life, you are left with a lot of questions:

  • What if I took a chance on myself?
  • Could I have had a better life if I took more risks?
  • Am I be satisfied with the legacy I am leaving behind?
  • What could I have accomplished if I did not settle for less?

So why would you think you’re not good enough?

1. Parenting

The perception you have of yourself is based on your past experiences. There are studies that show children mimic everything from their parents ability to regulate emotions, to their parents belief about money.[1]

I have had clients who did not believe they were good enough because they did not receive any positive reinforcement as a child. When they were young, their parents were extremely overprotective.

Think of your childhood challenges like dragons you had to slay. Each obstacle you overcame was another dragon you successfully removed from your life. As you slay more dragons, your self-esteem and confidence increase. When someone has overprotective parents, their parents end up slaying the dragons.

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As a result, the child builds more confidence in their parent’s abilities, while still doubting their own.

If you are never encouraged to slay your own dragons, you start to doubt whether you can. It is only natural for a child to conclude their parents are always helping them because they think they need it. This child ages into an adult who still believes they are not good enough. They seek the help and confirmation of others, and they rarely stand-up to opposition.

Solution: Slay Your Dragons!

If you want to believe in yourself, you are going to have to take steps to rebuild your trust in yourself. Start by keeping your word to others and arriving on-time. By showing yourself that others can (and do) trust you, you are going to feel more comfortable trusting yourself.

As you move onto larger and more challenging tasks, you have built a foundation of trust in your ability to keep your word. Next, you are going to want to reclaim your sword from others. At first, you may want to confide in whoever it is currently slaying your dragons.

Understand if it is your parent or someone who loves you, they want the best for you and mean well. You are simply going to tell them that you want to do the work, and will ask them for their thoughts in the planning phase. Feel free to check in with them and give them updates on your progress, while making sure they understand you are wanting to do the work yourself.

Then when the task is completed, let them know so you can celebrate together. Now that you have slayed your own dragon, you can start to reclaim your confidence. By you utilizing them as your guide, you get the added bonus of someone you respect and admire, telling you how amazing you are.

Think of it like a symbolic passing of the torch. Now, you are both dragon slayers. Which means all the positive attributes you attributed to them slaying your dragons, now belong to you.

2. Over-Exaggerating and Oversimplifying

Your past experiences may involve you or someone close to you failing. When you experience failure, you can lose your desire to continue. This has less to do with whether you are brave or scared, and more to do with the fact that your mind does not like failure.

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No one enjoys participating in events in which they under-perform. Outside of the usual reasons of embarrassment, feelings of inadequacy, and fear of failure – it is simply not fun.

Who wants to play baseball if they strikeout every time it is their turn? Would you enjoy singing in front of an audience if you were booed off the stage every time you performed? I could go on, but I think you get the point.

The thing about those two examples is no one really strikes out “every” at-bat. It is also unlikely someone could be booed off the stage “every time” they performed in-front of an audience.

What ends up happening is you oversimplify and exaggerate your past experiences and then your mind believes you. If you believe you are not good enough to ask someone on a date because they “always” tell you no, then do not be surprised you never muster the courage to do so.

If you want to overcome these feelings of inadequacy, start by changing your beliefs. This exercise does not need to be complicated. If you believe you strikeout every time it is your turn, I want to you to go to a batting cage and keep swinging until you hit the baseball.

When you experience success, I want you to take a mental note, write it down, or have someone video it. This is your proof that you do not always strike out. Then, whenever your belief that you are not good enough resurfaces, you are going to replay that video.

Regardless of the situation, you can find a successful experience that you are overlooking.

Solution: Read About the Failures of Others

It sounds a little crazy, I know, but reading about the failures of other successful people will improve your confidence. In a study conducted by Columbia University, they found that teaching students about the failures of great scientists encouraged them to do better.[2]

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When you are battling fear and self-doubt, you tend to over-exaggerate the abilities of others and diminish your own by comparison. You start to believe the successful are successful because they are courageous risk-takers, who do not take no for an answer. You tell yourself, they are meant to succeed, while you on the other hand are not.

When you are able to relate to the successful, you start to realize they have the same struggles and challenges you do. The only difference is they kept going.

Now it is not a question of whether you can succeed, it is a question of whether you want to succeed.

3. Undervalue Yourself

What is the main difference between someone who believes they are good enough and someone who does not? The person who believes they are good enough understands they are a person of value.

What I mean by this is if you do not believe you are worth being listened to, you will not have anything to say. If you do not believe you are good enough to be respected and treated as such, you will accept and rationalize all kinds of mistreatment.

There is an old saying that we are treated as we allow ourselves to be treated. When someone has the confidence and self-esteem that commands respect, they will not accept being treated any kind of way. However, if someone does not see themselves as worthy, they will remain in toxic situations because they do not believe anything better is on the horizon.

Dr. Jennifer Crocker, who worked on a series of self-esteem studies, found in her latest research that:[3]

“College students who based their self-worth on external sources–including appearance, approval from others and even their academic performance–reported more stress, anger, academic problems, relationship conflicts, and had higher levels of drug and alcohol use and symptoms of eating disorders”

Solution: Internalize Your Self-Worth

Instead of valuing yourself based on the awards, recognition, and accolades of others, you need to search internally. By basing your perception of yourself on your core values, you can regain control over self-image.

Instead of focusing on things that are outside of control, keep your mind on what it is that makes you special. You are not defined by your job, relationships, religion, or education. Rather, you are defined by the manner in which you participate in these things. You may be a creative, hard-working, and compassionate person; and that shows up in every thing you do.

Understand that you do not need to be creative, hard-working, and compassionate all the time to consider yourself these things. You are not trying to be perfect, but you are trying to connect with your true self.

By understanding the similarities in which you tackle objectives, you will build a consistent and powerful self-worth that stands apart from external confirmation.

Final Thoughts

Do not allow your past experiences do dictate your future success. You do not want to look back on your life and have a lot of questions and regrets.

Build trust in yourself by taking action today. This will help you build the confidence you need to believe in yourself and your ability to become the champion of your life.

More Inspiration About Motivation

Featured photo credit: Riccardo Mion via unsplash.com

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Reference

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