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11 Signs You’re In A Mature Relationship

11 Signs You’re In A Mature Relationship

A beautiful smile crosses your face as you glance across the room at your partner. You’re so happy in that moment that you can’t help but grin. Finally, you’ve found someone to really make you happy. After so many years, you’re finally dating someone who truly brings out the best in you!

Life’s dating game has had its fair share of ups and downs, but you realize, at last, that you’re in the type of relationship you’ve always wanted!

If this sounds like you, great! Here are 11 signs that you’re in this type of mature relationship.

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1. You Have Little to No Arguments

You and your partner argue very little, if at all. This is so important in relationships. Couples who constantly argue and fight over every little thing are bound to fail. These couples don’t see eye-to-eye and there’s an obvious disconnect on some level. Not to say they can’t fix this, but it certainly requires a lot of work and attention. If you don’t have this issue, however, you don’t have to worry!

2. Your Arguments Are Productive

When you do get into arguments with your significant other, the end result is usually something productive. You don’t just have shouting matches or ugly quarrels with one another in an attempt to put each other down, but for a more noble purpose. Your arguments, are more like respectful disagreements, and you listen to one another with an open mind. Typically, at the conclusion of these disagreements, all parties are satisfied and ready to move on without resentment.

3. You Trust Each Other Completely

Whether it’s allowing your spouse to go out with their friends, not having the urge to look through their phone, not being jealous of their opposite-sex friends, or simply, having no doubt in your mind that your partner would ever do anything to compromise your relationship. If you can feel these things about your significant other, and they feel this way about you, you’re a very lucky person!

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4. You Feel Good About Where You’re Heading

When you’re in a mature relationship your future looks bright. You can smile when you think ahead and when you imagine your upcoming life together. You know deep down inside that you’re doing the right thing and that you’re with the right person.

5. You Have No Regrets About Being With That Person

You don’t have any desires to be with anyone else. All you care about is the person you are with. You never regret settling down with them and any other person before them seems completely insignificant. You only have eyes for them.

6. You Have Great Communication

You freely talk about anything without needing to drag things out of one another. You never hold things in that are bothering you. You love discussing different topics, issues, concerns, plans, and ideas. You’re both on the same page and you express this congruity frequently.

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7. You Think In Terms of “We” Instead of “I”

Before, it was just you. Now, it’s both of you together. Although you know you’re separate people with separate lives and separate souls, you love sharing life with that special someone. You think in terms of “we” instead of just “I”, meaning you always consider your partner when deciding important things. You think about the two of you when pondering weekend plans, monetary expenses, future goals, and everything in between.

8. You Completely Respect Your Partner

You respect your partner in every possible way. You respect their values. You respect their feelings. You respect their character. You respect their outlook on life. You respect their time. You respect their career. Your respect their goals. And most importantly, you respect their relationship with you. You respect everything about them.

9. You Can’t Wait To See Them When You’re Away

You’re often left wanting more of them in your life, or wanting to see them when they’re away. Although you enjoy your time alone, you can’t wait to see them again. You miss them when they’re away and you think about spending time with them always.

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10. You Truly Love Them

You don’t have to think about it, it just comes naturally. When you’re in a mature relationship with someone, you truly love them. They make you happy and your affection for them cannot be denied. They’re everything you’ve always wanted in a partner and you love them infinitely!

Being in the right relationship can take time. If you feel like the aforementioned signs don’t fit into the relationship you’re currently in, it may be time to move on. For the sake of both you and your partner, it may be better to look elsewhere. If, however, you’ve read some of the signs above and they resonate with you and the type of mature relationship you’re in, congratulations! You’ve successfully found someone to share life’s experiences with. There may be no greater gift to mankind than the ability to lovingly connect with and traverse through life with someone else!

Are there any other signs of being in a mature relationship that you can think of that are not listed above? If so, please comment and share your thoughts!

Featured photo credit: 11 Signs You’re In A Mature Relationship via media.lifehack.org

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Justin Stenstrom

Nationally-Acclaimed Life Coach

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Last Updated on August 6, 2020

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

Are we speaking the same language?

My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

Am I being lazy?

When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

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Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

Early in the relationship:

“Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

When the relationship is established:

“Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

Have I actually got anything to say?

When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

Am I painting an accurate picture?

One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

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How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

What words am I using?

It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

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Is the map really the territory?

Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

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