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11 Signs You’re In A Mature Relationship

11 Signs You’re In A Mature Relationship

A beautiful smile crosses your face as you glance across the room at your partner. You’re so happy in that moment that you can’t help but grin. Finally, you’ve found someone to really make you happy. After so many years, you’re finally dating someone who truly brings out the best in you!

Life’s dating game has had its fair share of ups and downs, but you realize, at last, that you’re in the type of relationship you’ve always wanted!

If this sounds like you, great! Here are 11 signs that you’re in this type of mature relationship.

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1. You Have Little to No Arguments

You and your partner argue very little, if at all. This is so important in relationships. Couples who constantly argue and fight over every little thing are bound to fail. These couples don’t see eye-to-eye and there’s an obvious disconnect on some level. Not to say they can’t fix this, but it certainly requires a lot of work and attention. If you don’t have this issue, however, you don’t have to worry!

2. Your Arguments Are Productive

When you do get into arguments with your significant other, the end result is usually something productive. You don’t just have shouting matches or ugly quarrels with one another in an attempt to put each other down, but for a more noble purpose. Your arguments, are more like respectful disagreements, and you listen to one another with an open mind. Typically, at the conclusion of these disagreements, all parties are satisfied and ready to move on without resentment.

3. You Trust Each Other Completely

Whether it’s allowing your spouse to go out with their friends, not having the urge to look through their phone, not being jealous of their opposite-sex friends, or simply, having no doubt in your mind that your partner would ever do anything to compromise your relationship. If you can feel these things about your significant other, and they feel this way about you, you’re a very lucky person!

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4. You Feel Good About Where You’re Heading

When you’re in a mature relationship your future looks bright. You can smile when you think ahead and when you imagine your upcoming life together. You know deep down inside that you’re doing the right thing and that you’re with the right person.

5. You Have No Regrets About Being With That Person

You don’t have any desires to be with anyone else. All you care about is the person you are with. You never regret settling down with them and any other person before them seems completely insignificant. You only have eyes for them.

6. You Have Great Communication

You freely talk about anything without needing to drag things out of one another. You never hold things in that are bothering you. You love discussing different topics, issues, concerns, plans, and ideas. You’re both on the same page and you express this congruity frequently.

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7. You Think In Terms of “We” Instead of “I”

Before, it was just you. Now, it’s both of you together. Although you know you’re separate people with separate lives and separate souls, you love sharing life with that special someone. You think in terms of “we” instead of just “I”, meaning you always consider your partner when deciding important things. You think about the two of you when pondering weekend plans, monetary expenses, future goals, and everything in between.

8. You Completely Respect Your Partner

You respect your partner in every possible way. You respect their values. You respect their feelings. You respect their character. You respect their outlook on life. You respect their time. You respect their career. Your respect their goals. And most importantly, you respect their relationship with you. You respect everything about them.

9. You Can’t Wait To See Them When You’re Away

You’re often left wanting more of them in your life, or wanting to see them when they’re away. Although you enjoy your time alone, you can’t wait to see them again. You miss them when they’re away and you think about spending time with them always.

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10. You Truly Love Them

You don’t have to think about it, it just comes naturally. When you’re in a mature relationship with someone, you truly love them. They make you happy and your affection for them cannot be denied. They’re everything you’ve always wanted in a partner and you love them infinitely!

Being in the right relationship can take time. If you feel like the aforementioned signs don’t fit into the relationship you’re currently in, it may be time to move on. For the sake of both you and your partner, it may be better to look elsewhere. If, however, you’ve read some of the signs above and they resonate with you and the type of mature relationship you’re in, congratulations! You’ve successfully found someone to share life’s experiences with. There may be no greater gift to mankind than the ability to lovingly connect with and traverse through life with someone else!

Are there any other signs of being in a mature relationship that you can think of that are not listed above? If so, please comment and share your thoughts!

Featured photo credit: 11 Signs You’re In A Mature Relationship via media.lifehack.org

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Justin Stenstrom

Nationally-Acclaimed Life Coach

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Last Updated on March 14, 2019

7 Questions to Ask in a Job Interview That Will Impress the Interviewer

7 Questions to Ask in a Job Interview That Will Impress the Interviewer

Recruiters might hold thousands of interviews in their careers and a lot of them are reporting the same thing—that most candidates play it safe with the questions they ask, or have no questions to ask in a job interview at all.

For job applicants, this approach is crazy! This is a job that you’re going to dedicate a lot of hours to and that might have a huge impact on your future career. Don’t throw away the chance to figure out if the position is perfect for you.

Here are 7 killer questions to ask in a job interview that will both impress your counterpart and give you some really useful insights into whether this job will be a dream … or a nightmare.

1. What are some challenges I might come up against this role?

A lesser candidate might ask, “what does a typical day look like in this role?” While this is a perfectly reasonable question to ask in an interview, focusing on potential challenges takes you much further because it indicates that you already are visualizing yourself in the role.

It’s impressive because it shows that you are not afraid of challenges, and you are prepared to strategize a game plan upfront to make sure you succeed if you get the job.

It can also open up a conversation about how you’ve solved problems in the past which can be a reassuring exercise for both you and the hiring manager.

How it helps you:

If you ask the interviewer to describe a typical day, you may get a vibrant picture of all the lovely things you’ll get to do in this job and all the lovely people you’ll get to do them with.

Asking about potential roadblocks means you hear the other side of the story—dysfunctional teams, internal politics, difficult clients, bootstrap budgets and so on. This can help you decide if you’re up for the challenge or whether, for the sake of your sanity, you should respectfully decline the job offer.

2. What are the qualities of really successful people in this role?

Employers don’t want to hire someone who goes through the motions; they want to hire someone who will excel.

Asking this question shows that you care about success, too. How could they not hire you with a dragon-slayer attitude like that?

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How it helps you:

Interviewers hire people who are great people to work with, but the definition of “great people” differs from person to person.

Does this company hire and promote people with a specific attitude, approach, worth ethic or communication style? Are the most successful people in this role strong extroverts who love to talk and socialize when you are studious and reserved? Does the company reward those who work insane hours when you’re happiest in a more relaxed environment?

If so, then this may not be the right match for you.

Whatever the answer is, you can decide whether you have what it takes for the manager to be happy with your performance in this role. And if the interviewer has no idea what success looks like for this position, this is a sign to proceed with extreme caution.

3. From the research I did on your company, I noticed the culture really supports XYZ. Can you tell me more about that element of the culture and how it impacts this job role?

Of course, you could just ask “what is the culture like here? ” but then you would miss a great opportunity to show that you’ve done your research!

Interviewers give BIG bonus point to those who read up and pay attention, and you’ve just pointed out that (a) you’re diligent in your research (b) you care about the company culture and (c) you’re committed to finding a great cultural fit.

How it helps you:

This question is so useful because it lets you pick an element of the culture that you really care about and that will have the most impact on whether you are happy with the organization.

For example, if training and development is important to you, then you need to know what’s on offer so you don’t end up in a dead-end job with no learning opportunities.

Companies often talk a good talk, and their press releases may be full of shiny CSR initiatives and all the headline-grabbing diversity programs they’re putting in place. This is your opportunity to look under the hood and see if the company lives its values on the ground.

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A company that says it is committed to doing the right thing by customers should not judge success by the number of up-sells an employee makes, for instance. Look for consistency, so you aren’t in for a culture shock after you start.

4. What is the promotion path for this role, and how would my performance on that path be measured?

To be clear, you are not asking when you will get promoted. Don’t go there—it’s presumptuous, and it indicates that you think you are better than the role you have applied for.

A career-minded candidate, on the other hand, usually has a plan that she’s working towards. This question shows you have a great drive toward growth and advancement and an intention to stick with the company beyond your current state.

How it helps you:

One word: hierarchy.

All organizations have levels of work and authority—executives, upper managers, line managers, the workforce, and so on. Understanding the hierarchical structure gives you power, because you can decide if you can work within it and are capable of climbing through its ranks, or whether it will be endlessly frustrating to you.

In a traditional pyramid hierarchy, for example, the people at the bottom tend to have very little autonomy to make decisions. This gets better as you rise up through the pyramid, but even middle managers have little power to create policy; they are more concerned with enforcing the rules the top leaders make.

If having a high degree of autonomy and accountability is important to you, you may do better in a flat hierarchy where work teams can design their own way of achieving the corporate goals.

5. What’s the most important thing the successful candidate could accomplish in their first 3 months/6 months/year?

Of all the questions to ask in a job interview, this one is impressive because it shows that you identify with and want to be a successful performer, and not just an average one.

Here, you’re drilling down into what the company needs, and needs quite urgently, proving that you’re all about adding value to the organization and not just about what’s in it for you.

How it helps you:

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Most job descriptions come with 8, 10 or 12 different job responsibilities and a lot of them with be boilerplate or responsibilities that someone in HR thinks are associated with this role. This question gives you a better sense of which responsibilities are the most important—and they may not be what initially attracted you to the role.

If you like the idea of training juniors, for example, but success is judged purely on your sales figures, then is this really the job you thought you were applying for?

This question will also give you an idea of what kind of learning curve you’re expected to have and whether you’ll get any ramp-up time before getting down to business. If you’re the type of person who likes to jump right in and get things done, for instance, you may not be thrilled to hear that you’re going to spend the first three months shadowing a peer.

6. What do you like about working here?

This simple question is all about building rapport with the interviewer. People like to talk about themselves, and the interviewer will be flattered that you’re interested in her opinions.

Hopefully, you’ll find some great connection points that the two of you share. What similar things drive you head into the office each day? How will you fit into the culture?

How it helps you:

You can learn a lot from this question. Someone who genuinely enjoys his job will be able to list several things they like, and their answers will sound passionate and sincere. If not….well, you might consider that a red flag.

Since you potentially can learn a lot about the company culture from this question, it’s a good idea to figure out upfront what’s important to you. Maybe you’re looking for a hands-off boss who values independent thought and creativity? Maybe you work better in environments that move at a rapid, exciting pace?

Whatever’s important to you, listen carefully and see if you can find any common ground.

7. Based on this interview, do you have any questions or concerns about my qualifications for the role?

What a great closing question to ask in a job interview! It shows that you’re not afraid of feedback—in fact, you are inviting it. Not being able to take criticism is a red flag for employers, who need to know that you’ll act on any “coaching moments” with a good heart.

As a bonus, asking this question shows that you are really interested in the position and wish to clear up anything that may be holding the company back from hiring you.

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How it helps you:

What a devious beast this question is! On the surface, it looks straightforward, but it’s actually giving you four key pieces of information.

First, is the manager capable of giving you feedback when put on the spot like this? Some managers are scared of giving feedback, or don’t think it’s important enough to bother outside of a formal performance appraisal. Do you want to work for a boss like that? How will you improve if no one is telling you what you did wrong?

Second, can the manager give feedback in a constructive way without being too pillowy or too confrontational? It’s unfair to expect the interviewer to have figured out your preferred way of receiving feedback in the space of an interview, but if she come back with a machine-gun fire of shortcomings or one of those corporate feedback “sandwiches” (the doozy slipped between two slices of compliment), then you need to ask yourself, can you work with someone who gives feedback like that?

Third, you get to learn the things the hiring manager is concerned about before you leave the interview. This gives you the chance to make a final, tailored sales pitch so you can convince the interviewer that she should not be worried about those things.

Fourth, you get to learn the things the hiring manager is concerned about period. If turnover is keeping him up at night, then your frequent job hopping might get a lot of additional scrutiny. If he’s facing some issues with conflict or communication, then he might raise concerns regarding your performance in this area.

Listen carefully: the concerns that are being raised about you might actually be a proxy for problems in the wider organization.

Making Your Interview Work for You

Interviews are a two-way street. While it is important to differentiate yourself from every other candidate, understand that convincing the interviewer you’re the right person for the role goes hand-in-hand with figuring out if the job is the right fit for you.

Would you feel happy in a work environment where the people, priorities, culture and management style were completely at odds with the way you work? Didn’t think so!

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Featured photo credit: Amy Hirschi via unsplash.com

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