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11 Promises You Should Make to Yourself

11 Promises You Should Make to Yourself

Which promises to yourself are worth it?

The mantra of “live your life to the fullest” is often repeated. You see this in books, in movies, in songs, in poems and even in speeches. In the course of living your life, you’re often instructed to live wisely, live freely and live happily. Sometimes, though, this mantra is already viewed as a cliche. People take its meaning for granted because the mantra feels empty—sure, you want to live life to the fullest; you want to go out there and make the most of your life; and you want to help others to the same.

You want to do all these things, but the question is how can you do this?

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You can do this by making—and keeping—the following promises to yourself:

1. “I promise to myself that I will accept my strengths as well as my flaws.”

Remember that you are here in this world to serve a purpose. You are worthy of existing, of believing and of living. For you to feel sincerely worthy, though, you should get rid of all your low self-esteem and instead adapt a self-loving and self-approving attitude. You can only do this if you display an unconditional acceptance of yourself.

2. “I will speak lovingly to myself.”

A lot of people in this world take joy in bringing you down and destroying your sense of self-worth: don’t be one of them. Be your biggest fan, not your number one critic. Speak encouragingly to yourself. Help yourself get up each time you’re struck down; when worse comes to worst, you are going to be your own life coach.

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3. “I will always keep in mind that I cannot control everything.”

The idea that you can control everyone and everything in your life is utterly wrong. You can never live a happy life unless you accept this fact. People always have their own battles, businesses always have their own agendas and everyone has his own priorities.

Don’t despair too much, though. The reality is that you don’t really need to control your external surroundings in order to live your life to the fullest. You just need to control your own way of thinking.

4. “I will choose my battles wisely.”

Most of the time, you’ll get invited to a lot of battles. Keep in mind that you don’t need to prove anything to anyone. Really, you don’t. Choose wisely as you don’t need to go to every battle you’re invited to.

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5. “I will forget the pains of the past but remember their lessons.”

There’s no use in re-living the pains, frustrations and anxieties of the past. You’ll only make yourself feel worthless if you do this constantly. Instead of moping around and stressing about your mistakes, look at your past objectively and find out what you could have done better. Yes, you can’t go back, but you can always move forward.

6. “I promise to myself that I’ll maintain a stable peace of mind.”

Believe in inner happiness: no-one can break you down without your consent. Choose to be proactive rather than reactive, and grow from your challenges. You can never bloom with only water, right? You need the glare of the sunlight as well.

7. “I won’t compromise my values for anything.”

You’re the best person who can identify your biggest values. Number them and stick with doing them up to the best of your ability. Don’t let the temptation of money, fame, fortune or success turn you into someone you’re really not.

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8. “I’ll learn to live in the moment.”

Savor that bite and let the flavors melt in your mouth. Aim to listen and really understand what your best friend is talking about. Lend your presence to the people you love. Don’t rush things and don’t take them for granted either. Life isn’t a competition—it’s a wonderful adventure best taken at your own pace.

9. “I promise to let go of the things that are holding me back.”

Life is too short to stay holding on to people and things which corrupt your mind and leave you hanging. Don’t settle. You know you’re better than that.

10. “I will stay motivated to pursue my innermost dreams and strong passion.”

Don’t be afraid to pursue your passion, equip yourself with knowledge and continue doing what you love. Your passion gives you the greatest purpose to continue living! Nourish it, develop it and consistently find ways to help it grow.

11. “I promise to myself to always see the fun and fulfillment in every activity I partake in.”

Taking yourself too seriously can burn you out and frustrate you to no end. You’re not supposed to end up tired, stressed and mad, are you? No way. Seek balance by combining discipline and fun. In the long run, though, working for the sake of happiness is infinitely better than working for the sake of preconceived success.

More by this author

Lianne Martha Maiquez Laroya

Lianne is a licensed financial advisor, Registered Financial Planner, entrepreneur and book author.

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Last Updated on August 6, 2020

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

Are we speaking the same language?

My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

Am I being lazy?

When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

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Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

Early in the relationship:

“Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

When the relationship is established:

“Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

Have I actually got anything to say?

When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

Am I painting an accurate picture?

One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

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How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

What words am I using?

It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

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Is the map really the territory?

Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

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