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100 Inspiring Quotes To Start Off A Great New Year

100 Inspiring Quotes To Start Off A Great New Year

Today we have decided to feature some of the world’s top inspirational life quotes that will help you to start a great New Year. Quotes are those little reminders that we all need now and then are some words are powerful enough to inspire us for the whole week.

So here is the beautiful collection of Inspirational life quotes.

1. “Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.” ― Carl Bard.

2. “A journey of thousand steps begins with a single step.” – Chinese proverb

3. “The conditions are never right, people who delay action until all factors are favourable – do nothing.” – Unknown

4. “The biggest failure you can have in life is making the mistake of never trying at all.” – Unknown

5. “Life has two rules: #1 Never quit #2 Always remember rule # 1.” – Unknown

6. “It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.” – Aristotle Onassis

7. “The best way to predict the future is to invent it.” – Alan Kay

8. “Do you want to know who you are? Don’t ask. Act! Action will delineate and define you.” – Thomas Jefferson

9. “Winners lose much more often than losers. So if you keep losing but you’re still trying, keep it up! You’re right on track.” – Matthew Keith Groves

10. “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.” – Henry David Thoreau

11. “The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.” – Henry David Thoreau

12. “Change is hardest at the beginning, messiest in the middle and best at the end.” – Robin S. Sharma

13. “Change will not come if we wait for some other person, or if we wait for some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.” – Barack Obama

14. “We are taught you must blame your father, your sisters, your brothers, the school, the teachers – but never blame yourself. It’s never your fault. But it’s always your fault, because if you wanted to change you’re the one who has got to change.” – Katharine Hepburn

15. “No matter who you are, no matter what you did, no matter where you’ve come from, you can always change, become a better version of yourself.” – Madonna

16. “The new year stands before us, like a chapter in a book, waiting to be written. We can help write that story by setting goals.” – Melody Beattie

17. “Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.” – Thomas Jefferson

18. “Once you’ve accepted your flaws, nobody can use them against you.” – Game Of Thrones

19. “Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.” – Confucius

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20. “Many people can be responsible for your success, but only you are responsible for your failure.” – Unknown

21. “Difficult doesn’t mean impossible, it simply means that you have to work hard.” – Unknown

22. “Being challenged in life is inevitable, being defeated is optional.” – Unknown

23. “The only impossible journey is the one you never begin.” – Unknown

24. “You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.” – Unknown

25. “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.” – Hellen Keller

26. “Life is not always a matter of holding good cards, but sometimes, playing a poor hand well.” – Jack London

27. “It’s not the years in your life that count, it’s the life in your years.” – Unknown

28. “Life is the most difficult exam. Many people fail because they try to copy others – Not realising that everyone has a different question paper!” – Unknown

29. “Our true character is that person we become when no one is watching.” – Unknown

30. “Without goals, and plans to reach them, you are like a ship that has set sail with no destination.” – Unknown

31. “We aim above the mark to hit the mark.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

32. “All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act on their dreams with open eyes, to make them possible.” – T. E. Lawrence

33. “You can’t hit a home run unless you step up to the plate. You can’t catch fish unless you put your line in the water. You can’t reach your goals if you don’t try.” – Kathy Seligman

34. “Don’t ever let someone tell you, you can’t do something. Not even me. You got a dream, you got to protect it.” – Steven Conrad

35. “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” – Mark Twain

36. “There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why… I dream of things that never were, and ask why not?” – Robert Kennedy”

37. “A head full of fears has no space for dreams. – Unknown”

38. “A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.” – Albert Einstein

39. “Nothing will work unless you do.” – Maya Angelou

40. “Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.”  – Maya Angelou

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41. “Bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other.” – Abraham Lincoln

42. “A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others.” – Ayn Rand

43.“You don’t learn to walk by following rules. You learn by doing and falling over.” – Richard Branson

44.”Your life only gets better when you get better.” – Brian Tracy

45. “The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary.” – Vidal Sassoon

46. “Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.” – Brian Tracy

47.“It doesn’t matter where you came from. All that matters is where you are going.” – Brian Tracy

48. “I like thinking big. If you’re going to be thinking anything, you might as well think big.” – Donald Trump

49. “Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” – Thomas Edison

50. “Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them more.” – Oscar Wilde

51. “Your time is precious, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.” – Steve Jobs

52. “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison

53. “Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing it is stupid.” – Einstein

54. “Do or do not. There is no try.” – Yoda

55. “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” – Winston Churchill

56. “Who seeks shall find.” – Sophocles

57. “Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door.” – Kyle Chandler

58. “You can’t build a reputation on what you are going to do.” — Henry Ford

59. “Success is walking from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.” — Winston Churchill

60. “In the New Year, you carry all the experiences of the past years and that is the greatest power of every New Year! This year again, you are less student and more master!” – Mehmet Murat ildan

61. “What the new year brings to you will depend a great deal on what you bring to the new year.” ― Vern McLellan

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62. “Wherever smart people work, doors are unlocked.” — Steve Wozniak

63. “I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes. Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You’re doing things you’ve never done before, and more importantly, you’re doing something.” ― Neil Gaiman

64. “The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.” ― Albert Einstein

65. “You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of.” – Jim Rohn

66. “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” – Henry Askins

67. “When one door is closed, don`t you know, another is open.” – Bob Marley

68. “When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.” – Henry Ford

69. “If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more. If you look at what you don’t have in life, you’ll never have enough.” – Oprah Winfrey

70. “Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.” – Norman Vincent Peale

71. “Do one thing every day that scares you.” ― Eleanor Roosevelt

72. “Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.” – Helen Keller

73. “Don’t say you don’t have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein.” – H. Jackson Brown Jr.

74. “A dream written down with a date becomes a goal. A goal broken down into steps becomes a plan. A plan backed by action makes your dreams come true.” – Greg S. Reid

75. “This year believe that anything is possible. Start each day with goals. Eat more real food. Buy good books and make time to read them. Drink water. Exercise daily even when it sounds like a terrible idea. Shop for quality not quantity. Purge the unnecessary and decrease clutter. Hug the ones you love. Find the best in others. Show others the best in you.” – Unknown

76. “Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.” – Dalai Lama

77. “If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

78. “In order to lead a fascinating life, one brimming with art, music, intrigue, and romance, you must surround yourself with precisely those things.” – Kate Spade

79. “Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power.” – Tao Te Ching

80. Even if things don’t unfold the way you expected, don’t be disheartened or give up. One who continues to advance will win in the end.” ― Daisaku Ikeda

81. “Happiness is your nature. It is not wrong to desire it. What is wrong is seeking it outside when it is inside.” – Unknown

82. “Living isn’t done in months or years, it’s done in experiences.” – Unknown

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83. “What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

84. “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” – Gandhi

85. “Tough times never last, but tough people do.” – Dr. Robert Schuller

86. “Keep your face to the sunshine and you can never see the shadow.” – Helen Keller

87. “There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way.” – Christopher Morley

88. “Make each day your masterpiece.” – John Wooden

89. “The best dreams happen when you’re awake.” – Cherie Gilderbloom

90. “Once you choose hope, anything’s possible.” – Christopher Reeve

91. “Every moment is a fresh beginning.” – T.S. Eliot

92. “Don’t count the days, make the days count.” – Muhammad Ali

93. “Don’t wait. The time will never be just right.” – Napoleon Hill

94. “Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear.” – George Addair

95. “A year from now you may wish you had started today.” – Karen Lamb

96. “It is never too late to be what you might have been.” – George Eliot

97. “Someday is not a day of the week.” – Denise Brennan-Nelson

98. “There are no short cuts to any place worth going.” – Beverly Sills

99. “Choosing a goal and sticking to it changes everything.” – Scott Reed

100. “I am thankful for all of those who said, “No” to me. It’s because of them I’m doing it myself.”- Albert Einstein

Thank you for reading these inspirational quotes. Do you have any quotes you would like to see featured in the list? Please share them in the comments section below.

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Last Updated on November 11, 2019

Can a Dysfunctional Family Become Functional?

Can a Dysfunctional Family Become Functional?

A dysfunctional family is more than disagreement or constant arguments. Anything from plain neglect, to abuse and even verbal and physical violence is the everyday experience of those who are part of a dysfunctional family.

You know how this looks:

  • Parents constantly comparing children.
  • Siblings in conflict because of tolerated bullying.
  • Domestic violence.
  • Adultery…
  • And many others.

For all the members, this will mean emotional pain and even trauma; which, in case it doesn’t get resolved, will have a detrimental effect on the individual’s personality and development.

Needless to say, the younger members are the most vulnerable, but that doesn’t mean the parents are out of danger, as most commonly the parents play the roles of abuser-codependent, and in some cases, both parts inflicting pain on one another.

Most like to think these problems stem from deep-seated issues, and that therefore it’s pretty much impossible to deal with them.

This is only true for families not willing to do what it takes, for if only a single member is determined and knows how to do it, the whole family can do a lot of progress.

In this article, I’ll break down for you the basic steps of fixing a dysfunctional family. Although it may seem hopeless, it is possible to turn things around.

If you have ever felt in this position, or if you know somebody who is, this article is for you.

How to fix a dysfunctional family

In a few words the solution for a dysfunctional family lies in dropping the ego, focusing on the solution, switching blame for responsibility and doing the work as a unity, for the good of the whole family.

And this will accomplish things you once only saw as a dream.

Dropping the ego? Switching blame for responsibility? Doing the work? What does all this mean?

It’s simple. In a nutshell, it’s that which will allow you to turn a dysfunctional family into a functional one.

Let’s take a look at how exactly this can be done. And near the end we will also talk about what you can do in a dysfunctional family with cynical traits.

Dysfunctional families where not only problems are well-known, but also nobody seems to want a fix or openly decide to perpetuate the harmful behaviors. Such as the case of abuse and physical violence.

There is also a solution for these, it’s just not what you are expecting…

Dysfunctional… Or just average?

Most families are dysfunctional, though at varying degrees of dysfunctionality.

The milder cases, are just marked by “typical” comically-shrouded bullying or lack of interest in other members’ development or wellbeing.

You can know a family is dysfunctional if their interactions are anything different than cooperation, solidarity, care and support. But let’s get more specific…

A dysfunctional family is one in which members directly or indirectly suffer emotional and/or physical harm inflicted by other members of their family. Most commonly, perpetrated by the parents.

Even harmful actions as “passive” as neglect, which is inflicted by inaction rather than action, signifies a dysfunction within the family.

Dysfunctional families have conflicts such as:

  • Unrealistic expectations
  • Lack of interest and time spent together
  • Sexism
  • Utilitarianism
  • Lack of empathy
  • Unequal or unfair treatment
  • Disrespect towards boundaries
  • Control Issues
  • Jealousy
  • Verbal and physical abuse
  • Violence and even sexual misconduct or abuse

You may think a dysfunctional family has very little or nothing to do with personal productivity, but you would be wrong in thinking this way…

If a person is not emotionally well, she will not be able to perform as desired, as the emotional harm that has been inflicted will hinder everyday performance in the way of inability to concentrate, lack of mental clarity and low levels of inspiration, motivation and discipline.

Having a functional family does exactly the opposite: It creates productive members with no emotional baggage.

How to turn it around

When you’re part of a dysfunctional family you know it. You can quickly identify in other members the behaviors and conflicts that create the dysfunction.

But just in case you’re having trouble telling functional from dysfunctional I will tell you the following:

One of the easiest ways you can recognize if you are in a dysfunctional family is to survey your won feelings.

We often overlook this, but have you stopped to ask yourself how you feel?

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As cheesy as it may sound it really sheds a lot of light on the subject.

What behaviors, actions and attitudes in your family you wish were better?

Do you think certain behaviors and actions from your family marked you in the past?

Sadly, we cannot go back to the past to correct it. But we can do a lot in the present…

Correction is possible

In order to fix a dysfunctional family, you must start by putting an end to the behaviors and actions that are affecting you.

Verbalize it.

All members of the dysfunctional family have one issue in common: They don’t put a stop to the harm.

Whenever you feel your boundaries being overstepped there is just one single word you have to remember: STOP.

This is the door to a better, more functional family, because after this, comes the fix.

But first you have to identify and make others know where exactly lies the problem.

So go ahead and fearlessly start with “Stop”, followed by your expression of dissatisfaction.

Putting it to work in real life

In real life it would be something like this:

“OK, stop! Every time you belittle me I feel you don’t care. I need attention and respect, and it is your responsibility as my family to provide them to me”

Or:

“Stop. When you compare me with my cousin it hurts, I feel like I don’t matter and that’s not ok. I ask you to stop doing it.

Or:

“Please stop. When you start yelling all respect is lost and it turns into a battle of who can do it louder. Don’t raise your voice and let’s work this out the way humans do”.

As you can see, here you start by putting a stop to the toxic behavior when it arises. And afterwards you verbalize why it’s wrong and what needs of you need to be fulfilled.

This is what you have to remember:

1-Stop.

2-Why it’s wrong?

3-What you need.

And this will also work well in case you need to do it for another family member.

It’s a family thing

A dysfunctional family cannot be fixed by one member alone.

Yes, a single member can initiate progress and be the leader of the change. But in order to completely become functional all members must contribute to the solution.

In other words, you will need cooperation…

So don’t be afraid of asking for it!

Approach your family member and ask to be listened.

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We sometimes feel our needs are “not that important” or we simply believe they won’t listen. But thinking like this would be like being defeated at an unfought battle.

You will be amazed by how much people listen when you voice your needs, especially if it implies showing yourself open, vulnerable and in need.

It’s not a free-for-all battle

In order to get your family to cooperate, first you must fix your individual relationships with every member of the family. Remember: Relationships are always between two people, and two people only.

No matter how complex, the quality of a multi-member relationship (like a family) will always depend on the quality of the individual relationships.

Once you have straightened the relationship with every member of the dysfunctional family you will be able to better communicate with other members and help in the betterment of their individual relationship.

And this is where we will talk about the fix itself. The one I mentioned in the introduction…

The method

1. Drop the ego

Wherever there is conflict there is ego.

You cannot fix a relationship where there is ego, because the ego will want to win. Always. Yours and the other person.

Ego craves control and satisfaction, and in many cases, to establish dominance.

What does this have to do with a dysfunctional family? Everything. Ego will interfere with every plan you have to fix it.

It will make people suborn and defensive. And it will also make them drop responsibility. This is why, the first step is to drop the ego.

After you make sure you are not going to allow your ego to interfere you must work to make the other person do the same. How? By speaking from the heart…

Tell the other person how important all this is to you.

Tell the other person that it’s not a matter of arguing, but just working things out together.

Point out how it is not possible for you to do it alone.

And ask for sincere attention without any desire of opposition, because what you are doing is by no means in the hopes of harming the other person, but just to better the relationship and stop the damage being dealt to you.

You will have to point out the mistakes you need corrected, that’s for sure. And that leads me to the next point…

2. Not blame, but responsibility

When talking about others’ mistakes we often use an accusatory tone. And that’s natural, it’s what things should be like if ego was not present.

But since we are all creatures of ego, this immediately brings the shields up. And then unsheathes the swords…

When we blame others they automatically enter a defensive state, and this only leads to a failed negotiation.

What you need to do is to shift from blame to responsibility. And even that will have to be done carefully!

Instead of telling them off or demanding change or complaining, calmly point what the problem with their behavior is.

As much as this feels contradictory, also make them feel understood. You know how difficult it is to accept a mistake, so just make them feel it’s no big fuzz… which does not mean it’s ok, but it takes tension off.

You will do something like this:

“Hello dad. Can I talk with you for a minute? I really need to tell you something.

I have been feeling pretty sad lately and I know this is something you do care about.

You see, whenever I talk about my accomplishments you mention something else that makes my achievement pale in comparison.

I know you don’t do this intentionally and I know you might have not realized this until now, but I want to let you know this really brings me down.

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It would mean a lot to me if you could stop doing it, and it would help better our relationship, because this has already forced me to distance myself from you. And I don’t want that, I want a good, healthy relationship with you”

What happened here?

We started off with making it something important, something that needs both time and attention. Then we openly show ourselves vulnerable, just as we are.

We also mention why he should listen, and shove our feelings there again, because they are important.

We describe the issue with no attachment and with no hostile intention. It’s just a description.

And then we take the blame off. Just before we assign responsibility without actually saying it.

You are not blaming him directly, but you are pointing out the inevitable fact that his actions are causing a dysfunctionality. He is now responsible for changing.

This is what “switching blame for responsibility” means. What comes next? Doing the work!

3. Doing the work

What would any of this mean if, in the end, nothing changes? Exactly, nothing!

This is why you must follow up with every change that needs to be done.

Do so in a manner that is not hostile. Bring it up in a casual manner, and emphasizing how you both reached an agreement and how that is important to the family.

If the person doesn’t follow up don’t hesitate to bring it up again, and tell them you feel disappointed that your honest try at it was not listened.

It may even be a subject in itself, and therefore the need for another conversation.

“When you go back to old habits it shows that you didn’t really care about what I said. But back in real life you just reinforce how much contempt you show towards me and my feelings.

I talk with you because I care. Because although it would be easier for me to just distance myself from you I rather do my part in nurturing this relationship.

But there is just so much I can do, if you refuse to do your part I can do nothing else.”

You need very clear and positive communication in order to make this work.

Love is all you need

You must remember that in order for a dysfunctional family to become functional, all the work needs to stem from love.

That is the single one requirement for all this to work: Love.

And what happens if it simply is not there?

What happens if, nobody is willing to do what it takes?

What happens if a member of the family refuses to change and is happy with the harm he or she is dealing?

There is only one thing you can do:

To break away.

Let’s be honest, people, especially adults, are very difficult to change.

There is a Jewish proverb that I love, which sums it up like this:

“We spend the rest of our lives trying to unlearn what we learned before we were 7”

If you find it very hard to change the very traits that make your family dysfunctional or if it’s simply impossible, you still have a card up your sleeve…

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Although nobody likes to beak away from family members, we must remember we have a responsibility with ourselves as individuals, before any relationship with anyone.

You have the responsibility of making yourself happy and free. Because you matter as an individual, regardless of any relationships you have, be it family, friendship or romantic.

Putting distance

So in case you are dealing with a family member who is simply unwilling to change take both physical and emotional distance.

What do I mean?

Learn, first, to take their damage in a detached manner.

Don’t let it hurt you further. Instead take a deep breath and distance yourself emotionally.

Don’t be attached to feelings such as “Why doesn’t she love me?” or “What did I do to deserve this?” or “If he wasn’t like that my life would be perfect”.

Simply refuse to keep participating in the emotional downward spiral and accept, even if it’s painful” that there is nothing you can do. Accept that even without that relationship you are whole, you are worthy of love and respect.

They are their responsibility and you are yours. So decide what is best for you.

Realize it only comes down to two possibilities:

I keep the relationship and therefore accept the abuse. Or…

I choose my peace of mind.

And don’t let your mind fool you. We often think that since we all are imperfect, we must take the good and the bad behaviors of people. And we are especially forgiving towards our family…

Well, guess what? We are also responsible adults who are aware and must own to their acts. Never excuse abuse or violence or transgression towards you or anybody else.

Choose your happiness and if possible, also distance yourself physically, as it will increase your peace of mind tenfold.

How to prevent it

There are two key concepts you must bear in mind in order to prevent the dysfunctionality of a family:

  • To be completely aware of one’s own mistakes and not allow them to impact others and…
  • To make sure our SO’s are also on the same channel before creating a family (i.e. having children)

Dysfunctional families are the product of irresponsible paternity, for the decades-long unresolved emotional conflict ends up surfacing in the family inevitably, and it will for sure harm those who least deserve it: Innocent children.

You may notice we went from talking about family, to talking about individual relationships, to talking about you. We went from “them” to “us” to “me”.

Why? Because in the end you have the power to fix a dysfunctional family. To correct the mistakes you have in yours and to prevent dysfunctionalities if you don’t have a family but plan to create one.

Priorities and clear thought

You may be part of a dysfunctional family, but that does not mean you are powerless or that you have to suffer the consequences.

You learned today how it’s all a matter of priorities and thinking clearly.

You learned that, if love exists, everything is possible. You learned that even when there is no love and no fix for your dysfunctional family, there are still things you can do. It’s a matter of choosing your peace, because you deserve it.

Everything will be better if you apply this knowledge. If you talk to that problematic family member. If you help them see the harm they are doing. If you make sure they do change and treat you the way you need to be treated…

If you choose yourself over that toxic family member. If you refuse to justify the harm that others can do to yourself. If you realize the most important relationship you have is with yourself.

And lastly, that you also have to be aware of your actions and be open to criticism. Because we might be unknowingly harming others. And that would be us creating a dysfunctionality. Don’t allow it to happen.

Dysfunctional families are not impossible to fix. It just takes love, cooperation and responsibility.

But if you tried and those elements are not present, just choose yourself instead.

Featured photo credit: Xavier Mouton Photographie via unsplash.com

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