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10 Ways You Don’t Know You’re Making Your Life Harder Than It Has To Be

10 Ways You Don’t Know You’re Making Your Life Harder Than It Has To Be

Do you feel that life is against you?  Are you constantly struggling and see everything as a challenge?

Have you ever considered that this might be coming from you and not from the world around you?

Depending on how you think and act life can be perceived as difficult.   A shift in your attitude and perception can make a huge difference in creating an easier life.

Are these 10 traits making your life difficult?

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You believe that everyone is out to get you.

Someone in your office does something nice for you and automatically you begin to wonder what they want.  On a greater scale you distrust anyone who works for a large organization like the government, insurance company, lawyers, doctors, or even teachers.  What a great amount of fear and stress this creates!  How can you be 100% sure they are out to get you?

You see a future full of pitfalls.

You finally have a dinner date with a person you really like.  Instead of thinking how great this is and how much you are going to enjoy the evening, you focus on the ways that this evening is going to be a disaster.  You are so focused on all the negative things that might happen you don’t see the benefits and opportunities before you.  You could be missing something great!

You are a victim of your expectations.

A co-worker you admire has been paired with you on a project.  You have great ideas for how the project should be handled.  You expected to asked for your ideas but aren’t.   Because you weren’t asked, you didn’t voice them, as a result you feel angry and hurt.  Or you expected to be the lead player but aren’t.  You feel slighted and resentful.  In both cases you are projecting yourself as a victim based on your expectations.  Allowing yourself to be open to the situation rather than on your expectations makes life so much easier.

You are the sun and the the world rotates around you.

When planning an outing do you insist that everyone follow your plan?  When you are having a bad day do you make sure all your friends and family know about it?  These behaviors could be seriously making life more difficult for you.  By making things less about you and more about others would make for smoother relationships and less tension.

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You are stuck in neutral.

You have great plans and ideas, but somehow they never get off the ground.

When others inquire about the progress you are making with the plans, your answer is that you are waiting for the right moment.  The problem is that the right time never comes.  You have to take that first step before things can begin moving.

You always play it safe.

You are the person who researches every little thing to make sure you are making the best choice.  You never do anything impulsive or take any chances.  Change and uncertainty are your enemies.  Unfortunately, life isn’t predicable or safe. Sometimes you have to take a risk to move forward.

You are a societal clone .

You know everything about your friends because they are just like you.  You are constantly watching them and they are constantly watching you.  If fact you pay so much attention to others in your group you know immediately when one steps out of the mold. Fear of being different binds you together.  Wouldn’t life be so much easier if you could followed your passions and desires rather copying others?

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You can’t let go.

She embarrassed you in front of your colleagues and you are never going to forgive her.  Sound familiar?  In another situation, you know you are right about how this should be done and nothing is going to change your mind. Has this attitude ever embarrassed you when you were proven wrong?  When you not longer need to fuel past transgressions or the need to be right life takes on a totally new focus.

You are a taker and not a giver.

Your friends are great about coming over to help you, but when they need your help you disappear.  If you do come out to help, you often do it grudgingly.  You tend to be more focused on your phone than on the job at hand or make excuses to leave early.  It won’t take long for others to figure this out and you may find that others aren’t willing to help you any more.  Giving and receiving go hand in hand.

You have weak boundaries.

You are generous to a fault.  Friends and family know that if they need anything they can borrow it from you.  The problems arises when they borrow things and then forget to return them. You may ask for them back, but get the brush off.  Because you don’t want to create waves in your relationship, nothing happens.  This results in you being inconvenienced and possibly feeling used, but until you set some boundaries this will continue to happen. Set your boundaries and learn to say no.

Life does not have to be difficult or a struggle. Much of it depends on you.

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Are you ready to take control?

Featured photo credit: Having a bad day?/Melisa D. via flickr.com

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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