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10 Ways To Stop Lying To Yourself

10 Ways To Stop Lying To Yourself

Getting caught up in your own lies can devalue your sense of self-worth, distort your view of reality and negatively affect your close relationships. Here are 10 ways to stop lying to yourself and become a better, more honest you!

1. Stop taking constructive criticism as a personal attack.

There is a difference between being an overly critical bully and an honest and helpful friend. If someone you consider a friend gives you a bit of honest, somewhat critical advice, you shouldn’t be so quick to dismiss it. The issues we are most unsure about tend to be the issues we get the most defensive and emotional about when confronted with ideas that challenge our opinions.

2. Stop trying to convince everyone that you’re right.

Some people can be swayed on some opinions some of the time. But if you believe something passionately that someone else passionately disagrees with, you are never going to change their mind. Maybe if you talk about it long enough and with enough research backing your statements, he or she will say they agree with you. But they’re probably thinking to themselves that it’s not true, and resenting you for not letting them have their own opinion.

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3. Realize that the fun is in the effort.

child having fun

    Face it: very few people get to claim they are “the best” at something and really mean it—olympic athletes, perhaps, and maybe some classically-trained musicians or chefs at three-star Michelin restaurants. However, most of the time, there’s always going to be someone better than you at any task you may try to accomplish. But that doesn’t mean it’s not worth doing. Even if you are not the world’s best pianist or even the biggest wine connoisseur in your hometown , it doesn’t mean there’s not still enjoyment to be had in that activity. And if things were only worth doing if you’re the best, how would you ever try doing something new?

    4. Take chances.

    Everyone gets scared sometimes, and that’s not a bad thing. Fear keeps us from doing stupid things or getting into situations that may harm or kill us, and it has been essential in our development as a species. But fear can do more harm than good when we’re artificially creating it to avoid unpleasant situations. Next time you start to worry about something, take a deep breath and decide whether or not it’s something worth getting worked up about.

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    5. Stop putting things off until tomorrow.

    Really? What’s going to change? And how? If you don’t set out concrete steps for yourself and really narrow down exactly what is going to change and how, tomorrow will be exactly the same as today. Don’t let yourself fall back upon old habits instead of striving for the change you wish to embody.

    6. Quit doubting yourself.

    Age is what you make of it. Are you really too old to make new friends or take up a new hobby? Chances are, you’re not, and you would be happier if you made the attempt. Don’t start telling yourself you are too old to try new things; if you live for another decade or more, that’s over a decade that you’ve been telling yourself you’re too old to do them.

    7. Consider others’ points of view.

    It is easy to develop a kind of selective understanding of reality that allows you only to believe what you already suspect to be true. Before you get upset at someone for doing something you wouldn’t have done, stop and try to consider their reasoning. You can even ask them for their side of the story. Chances are, they had a good reason that you simply overlooked.

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    8. Realize when you’ve taken on too much.

    Learning when to say no is an important skill and happiness tool. Some of us are driven to take on more than we can quite chew—whether that means at work, or perhaps even in helping organize an event for a school fundraiser on your own. Truly acknowledge whether or not you have the time or energy to take on a task before accepting it, and if you can’t, don’t be afraid to say no. Chances are, you’re not going to hurt anyone’s feelings by saying no every now and then.

    9. Don’t give up.

    climbing up

      Sometimes we can be a little quick to admit defeat. Before giving up, stop to consider your options. There may be another way.

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      10. Don’t ignore your feelings.

      If you have to tell yourself you don’t care, chances are, you do. Instead of turning a cold shoulder on a friend or loved one, admit that you are hurt. While you may not change their mind, you may find an unexpected compromise.

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      Courtney Gordner

      Courtney is a passionate writer who shares about lifestyle tips on Lifehack.

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      Last Updated on October 17, 2019

      How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

      How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

      You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

      But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

      Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

      What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

      Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

      So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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      1. Recognize the Signs

      If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

      Some telltale signs include:

      • You’re always on your phones.
      • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
      • You aren’t together during important events.
      • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
      • You don’t make plans or date nights.
      • You’re not happy.

      If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

      2. Try New Things Together

      Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

      Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

      Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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      Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

      3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

      Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

      Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

      Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

      4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

      One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

      Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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      5. Cook Meals Together

      Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

      One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

      Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

      If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

      6. Have a Regular Date Night

      Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

      The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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      Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

      • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
      • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
      • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
      • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
      • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
      • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
      • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

      Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

      Final Thoughts

      The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

      • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
      • Lowers divorce rates
      • Improves communication
      • Reduces marital boredom
      • Bonds couples closer
      • Improves friendship
      • Boosts health
      • Reduces stress

      These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

      It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

      These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

      Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

      Reference

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