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10 Ways To Stop Lying To Yourself

10 Ways To Stop Lying To Yourself

Getting caught up in your own lies can devalue your sense of self-worth, distort your view of reality and negatively affect your close relationships. Here are 10 ways to stop lying to yourself and become a better, more honest you!

1. Stop taking constructive criticism as a personal attack.

There is a difference between being an overly critical bully and an honest and helpful friend. If someone you consider a friend gives you a bit of honest, somewhat critical advice, you shouldn’t be so quick to dismiss it. The issues we are most unsure about tend to be the issues we get the most defensive and emotional about when confronted with ideas that challenge our opinions.

2. Stop trying to convince everyone that you’re right.

Some people can be swayed on some opinions some of the time. But if you believe something passionately that someone else passionately disagrees with, you are never going to change their mind. Maybe if you talk about it long enough and with enough research backing your statements, he or she will say they agree with you. But they’re probably thinking to themselves that it’s not true, and resenting you for not letting them have their own opinion.

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3. Realize that the fun is in the effort.

child having fun

    Face it: very few people get to claim they are “the best” at something and really mean it—olympic athletes, perhaps, and maybe some classically-trained musicians or chefs at three-star Michelin restaurants. However, most of the time, there’s always going to be someone better than you at any task you may try to accomplish. But that doesn’t mean it’s not worth doing. Even if you are not the world’s best pianist or even the biggest wine connoisseur in your hometown , it doesn’t mean there’s not still enjoyment to be had in that activity. And if things were only worth doing if you’re the best, how would you ever try doing something new?

    4. Take chances.

    Everyone gets scared sometimes, and that’s not a bad thing. Fear keeps us from doing stupid things or getting into situations that may harm or kill us, and it has been essential in our development as a species. But fear can do more harm than good when we’re artificially creating it to avoid unpleasant situations. Next time you start to worry about something, take a deep breath and decide whether or not it’s something worth getting worked up about.

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    5. Stop putting things off until tomorrow.

    Really? What’s going to change? And how? If you don’t set out concrete steps for yourself and really narrow down exactly what is going to change and how, tomorrow will be exactly the same as today. Don’t let yourself fall back upon old habits instead of striving for the change you wish to embody.

    6. Quit doubting yourself.

    Age is what you make of it. Are you really too old to make new friends or take up a new hobby? Chances are, you’re not, and you would be happier if you made the attempt. Don’t start telling yourself you are too old to try new things; if you live for another decade or more, that’s over a decade that you’ve been telling yourself you’re too old to do them.

    7. Consider others’ points of view.

    It is easy to develop a kind of selective understanding of reality that allows you only to believe what you already suspect to be true. Before you get upset at someone for doing something you wouldn’t have done, stop and try to consider their reasoning. You can even ask them for their side of the story. Chances are, they had a good reason that you simply overlooked.

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    8. Realize when you’ve taken on too much.

    Learning when to say no is an important skill and happiness tool. Some of us are driven to take on more than we can quite chew—whether that means at work, or perhaps even in helping organize an event for a school fundraiser on your own. Truly acknowledge whether or not you have the time or energy to take on a task before accepting it, and if you can’t, don’t be afraid to say no. Chances are, you’re not going to hurt anyone’s feelings by saying no every now and then.

    9. Don’t give up.

    climbing up

      Sometimes we can be a little quick to admit defeat. Before giving up, stop to consider your options. There may be another way.

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      10. Don’t ignore your feelings.

      If you have to tell yourself you don’t care, chances are, you do. Instead of turning a cold shoulder on a friend or loved one, admit that you are hurt. While you may not change their mind, you may find an unexpected compromise.

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      Last Updated on December 2, 2018

      7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

      7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

      When giving a presentation or speech, you have to engage your audience effectively in order to truly get your point across. Unlike a written editorial or newsletter, your speech is fleeting; once you’ve said everything you set out to say, you don’t get a second chance to have your voice heard in that specific arena.

      You need to make sure your audience hangs on to every word you say, from your introduction to your wrap-up. You can do so by:

      1. Connecting them with each other

      Picture your typical rock concert. What’s the first thing the singer says to the crowd after jumping out on stage? “Hello (insert city name here)!” Just acknowledging that he’s coherent enough to know where he is is enough for the audience to go wild and get into the show.

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      It makes each individual feel as if they’re a part of something bigger. The same goes for any public speaking event. When an audience hears, “You’re all here because you care deeply about wildlife preservation,” it gives them a sense that they’re not just there to listen, but they’re there to connect with the like-minded people all around them.

      2. Connect with their emotions

      Speakers always try to get their audience emotionally involved in whatever topic they’re discussing. There are a variety of ways in which to do this, such as using statistics, stories, pictures or videos that really show the importance of the topic at hand.

      For example, showing pictures of the aftermath of an accident related to drunk driving will certainly send a specific message to an audience of teenagers and young adults. While doing so might be emotionally nerve-racking to the crowd, it may be necessary to get your point across and engage them fully.

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      3. Keep going back to the beginning

      Revisit your theme throughout your presentation. Although you should give your audience the credit they deserve and know that they can follow along, linking back to your initial thesis can act as a subconscious reminder of why what you’re currently telling them is important.

      On the other hand, if you simply mention your theme or the point of your speech at the beginning and never mention it again, it gives your audience the impression that it’s not really that important.

      4. Link to your audience’s motivation

      After you’ve acknowledged your audience’s common interests in being present, discuss their motivation for being there. Be specific. Using the previous example, if your audience clearly cares about wildlife preservation, discuss what can be done to help save endangered species’ from extinction.

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      Don’t just give them cold, hard facts; use the facts to make a point that they can use to better themselves or the world in some way.

      5. Entertain them

      While not all speeches or presentations are meant to be entertaining in a comedic way, audiences will become thoroughly engaged in anecdotes that relate to the overall theme of the speech. We discussed appealing to emotions, and that’s exactly what a speaker sets out to do when he tells a story from his past or that of a well-known historical figure.

      Speakers usually tell more than one story in order to show that the first one they told isn’t simply an anomaly, and that whatever outcome they’re attempting to prove will consistently reoccur, given certain circumstances.

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      6. Appeal to loyalty

      Just like the musician mentioning the town he’s playing in will get the audience ready to rock, speakers need to appeal to their audience’s loyalty to their country, company, product or cause. Show them how important it is that they’re present and listening to your speech by making your words hit home to each individual.

      In doing so, the members of your audience will feel as if you’re speaking directly to them while you’re addressing the entire crowd.

      7. Tell them the benefits of the presentation

      Early on in your presentation, you should tell your audience exactly what they’ll learn, and exactly how they’ll learn it. Don’t expect them to listen if they don’t have clear-cut information to listen for. On the other hand, if they know what to listen for, they’ll be more apt to stay engaged throughout your entire presentation so they don’t miss anything.

      Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm4.staticflickr.com

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