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10 Ways To Stop Focusing On The Obstacles And Move On

10 Ways To Stop Focusing On The Obstacles And Move On

When we encounter obstacles in our daily lives, it’s difficult to determine how and when to overcome them and move on. It’s easy to tell someone to stop thinking about things and get over it, but, like most things in life, doing is much more complicated than saying. If you’re looking to stop focusing on the obstacles and move on in life, here are a few tips to get you started in the right direction.

1. Accept What You Can’t Change…

There’s that which we can change and that which we can’t, and the majority of life’s obstacles are strictly in our heads. The first step to removing obstacles is accepting what’s happened, who you are, and where you’re at. You can’t change any of the external factors, but you can accept them and decide how you want to interact with them to change your scenario. When imagining the change you could have in your life, it’s important to focus on what you have and not on what you don’t have.

2. Size Matters Not, Young Padawan…

Everyone thinks their problems are worse than anyone else’s; if that were true, we’d be racing toward an inevitable doom as a human race. It doesn’t matter how many people are involved or what’s at stake – those factors are clouding the real issue, and considering them only holds you back. Regardless of how big the obstacles are, they need to be overcome one way or another, so stop psyching yourself out. If you don’t believe in yourself, nobody else will.

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3. Detach from the Results…

Yoga is one of my favorite ways to free my mind from unhealthy thought patterns. Ally Ford, an Ashtangi and one of my first instructors, helped guide me through the process of resetting my brain to remove the obstacles in my life. I reached out to Ally to discuss this piece, and she offered a great gem about how yoga helps us remove obstacles.

“Rather than be blinded by the smoke of the roaring flames,” says Ally. “This practice helps us maintain a certain inner peace and groundedness, have better discernment, and make better choices for how to respond accurately.”

Through yoga and meditation, you learn to stop attaching your self-value to your achievements. Ally always reminded me during our practices that if I fail, I’m still me; my identity doesn’t hinge on success, and I’ll still be experiencing life one way or another. It’s better to walk with your head high than to advertise your every scar to the world. Remember that every winner loses, but not every loser wins.

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4. Free Your Mind, and the Rest Will Follow…

Once you’ve removed the mental blocks and look at the world with a fresh perspective, you’ll find you’re more productive. Now instead of looking at your computer as a way to escape reality, you can view at it as a way to move toward a better one. You’re connected to the internet; stop viewing it as a consumer, and start viewing it as an entrepreneur. It’s the key to moving on, regardless of your physical circumstances (assuming you have the internet, otherwise how are you reading this?).

5. Shed Your Anxiety…

Stop fearing the future, because time moves on whether you’re ready or not. If it’s going to happen anyway, you may as well start controlling the way you experience it. Look at it this way: when you’re on your deathbed, would you rather look back on your life and regret all the things you didn’t do, or would you rather look back with a smile about all the things you did? It doesn’t matter who else is watching – do it for yourself.

6. Be Brave like Merida…

Bravery has nothing to do with a lack of fear. Anyone can act when there’s no consequence; it takes true bravery to participate against all odds. People may not agree with your choices, but they will eventually, so long as you’re working at it. Dedicating your life to a purpose is the only way you’ll ever find this strength, because if you’re only working for yourself, you’ll be too afraid to take a chance.

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7. Rewrite History…

Many times, the obstacles in our present are thoughts about past events. It’s ok to take time to deal with your own problems, but you don’t have to wear them on your sleeve at all times. You don’t need to walk around surly all the time simply because you have problems – it’s simply not necessary that everyone view you as “tough” just because you’ve had tough times.

Guess what? I’ve had some really tough times in my life, and have experienced and survived some truly horrible things. Even with those experiences under my belt, I make an effort to smile when I interact with other people. Just because I had a bad day is no reason to drag everyone else’s down.

8. Stick to the Script…

Practice makes perfect – even if you can’t see the progress you’re making, it’s happening. You’re improving every time you try, and one day you’ll wake up and realize you’re a stronger and better person. Kino offers these tips on reframing your obstacles and working on them through a daily practice.

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“Within the context of yoga, I’ve experienced almost every difficult emotional reaction that I carry within myself. Since these have arisen during the laboratory of my yoga practice, when they arise in ‘real’ life I’ve practiced a more conscious response and am better able to deal with those challenging situations.”

9. Imagine That…

Imagine yourself as a winner, and you’ll become that winner. Don’t worry about what other people think about you daydreaming; those people aren’t going anywhere you want to be. It doesn’t matter who you are in your imagination, because at the end of the day, it makes you feel better and doesn’t affect anyone else in the real world. Remember – it’s all in your head.

10. Never Give Up…

Every path has bumpy roads, and every sky has dark times. It’s ok; just keep your head up, pick yourself back up, and keep going. At the end of the day, you’re the one in charge of your life, and you’re the only one who will ever experience it. It’s also the only life you’ll ever experience, and we don’t get a second chance or any re-dos. Don’t give up – be a winner.

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    Attention Walmart Shoppers: Training for Black Friday 2014 has begun…

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    Last Updated on April 11, 2019

    How to Improve Communication Skills for Workplace Success

    How to Improve Communication Skills for Workplace Success

    Possessing strong communication skills will help you in every phase of your life. This is especially true in the workplace.

    I have personally worked with several leaders who were masters of communication. A few were wonderful speakers who could tell a great story and get everyone in the room engaged. Those of us in attendance would walk away feeling inspired and eager to help with what came next. Others were very skilled at sharing a clear direction and job expectations.

    I knew exactly what was expected of me and how to achieve my goals. This was the foundation of an energized and vibrant role I was in. What I have found is strong communication skills are incredibly helpful and sometimes critical in how well we perform at work.

    Here we will take a look at how to improve communication skills for workplace success.

    How Communication Skills Help Your Success

    Strong communication skills pave the way for success in many ways. Let’s look at a few of the big ones.

    Create a Positive Experience

    Here are two examples of how well developed communication skills helps create a positive experience:

    When I first moved to the city I now live in, I began a job search. Prior to my first live interview, I was told an address to go to. Upon arriving at the address provided, I drove around and around attempting to find the location. After 15 minutes of circling and looking for the address, I finally grabbed a parking spot and set out on foot.

    What I discovered was the address was actually down an alley and only had the number over the door. No sign for the actual company. The person that gave me those very unclear directions provided a bad experience for me.

    Had they communicated the directions to get there in a clear manner, my experience would have been much better. Instead the entire experience started off poorly and colored the entire meeting.

    As a recruiter, I frequently provide potential candidates with information about a job I’m speaking to them about. In order to do this, I also provide a picture of the overall company, the group they might be joining, and how their role fits in and impacts the entire company.

    Time and time again I have been told by candidates that I have provided the clearest picture of a company and role they have ever heard. They have a positive experience when I clearly communicate to them. Even when the position does not work out for them, often times they will want to stay in touch with me due to the open communication and beneficial experience they had during the interviewing process.

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    Strong communication skills will provide a positive experience in virtually any interaction you have with someone.

    Help Leadership Skills

    It’s certainly a skill all its own to be able to lead others.

    Being a mentor and guiding others towards success is a major hallmark of great leaders. Another characteristic of effective leaders is the ability to communicate clearly.

    As I referenced above, having a leader who can plainly articulate the company’s mission and direction goes a really long way towards being the Captain of the boat that others want to follow. It’s like saying “here’s our destination and this is how we are going to get there” in a way that everyone can get on board with.

    Another critical component of everyone helping to sail the boat in the right direction is knowing what your portion is all about. How are you helping the boat move towards its destination in the manner than is consistent with the leaders’ vision?

    If you have a boss or a manager that can show you what it takes for not only you to be successful, but also how your performance helps the company’s success then you’ve got a winner. A boss with superior communication skills.

    Build Better Teams

    Most of us work in teams of some sort or another. During the course of my career, I have led teams up to 80 and also been an individual contributor.

    In my individual contributor roles, I have been part of a larger team. Even if you are in business for yourself, you have to interact with others in one manner or another.

    If you have strong communication skills, it helps to build better teams. This is true whether you are in an IT department with 100 other fellow programmers or if you own your own business and have customers or vendors you communicate with.

    When you showcase your robust ability to communicate well with others while interacting with them, you are building a better team.

    Now let’s jump in to how to improve communication skills to help you pave the way for your workplace success.

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    How to Improve Communication Skills for Workplace Success

    There are many tips, tricks, and techniques to improve communication skills. I don’t want to overwhelm you with too much information, so let’s focus on the things that will provide the biggest return on your time investment.

    Most of these tips will be fairly easy to become aware of but will take time and effort to implement. So let’s go!

    1. Listen

    Ever heard the saying you have two ears and one mouth for a reason? If you haven’t, then here’s the reason:

    Being a good listener is half the equation to being a good communicator.

    People who have the ability to really listen to someone can then actually answer questions in a meaningful way. If you don’t make the effort to actively listen, then you are really doing yourself and the other person a disservice in the communication department.

    Know that person who is chomping at the bit to open his or her mouth the second you stop talking? Don’t be that person. They haven’t listened to at least 1/2 of what you’ve said. Therefore the words that spill out of their mouth are going to be about 1/2 relevant to what you just said.

    Listen to someone completely and be comfortable with short periods of silence. Work on your listening skills first and foremost.

    2. Know Your Audience

    Knowing your audience is another critical component to having strong communication skills. The way you interact with your manager should be different than how you interact with your kids. This isn’t to say you need to be a different person with everyone you interact with. Far from it.

    Here is a good way to think about it:

    Imagine using your the same choice of words and body language you use with your spouse while interacting with your boss. That puts things in a graphic light!

    You want to ensure you are using the type of communication most relevant to your audience.

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    3. Minimize

    I have lunch with a business associate about 3 times a year. We’ve been talking for several years now about putting a business deal together.

    He is one of those people that simply overwhelms others with a lot of words. Sometimes when I ask him a question, I get buried beneath such an avalanche of words that I’m more confused than when I asked the question. Needless to say this is most likely a large portion of why we never put the deal together.

    Don’t be like my lunch business associate. The goal of talking to or communicating with someone is to share actual information. The goal is not to confuse someone, it’s to provide clarity in many cases.

    State what needs to be stated as succinctly as possible. That doesn’t mean you can’t have some pleasant conversation about the weather too.

    The point is to not create such an onslaught of words and information that the other person walks away more confused than when they started.

    4. Over Communicate

    So this probably sounds completely counter intuitive to what I just wrote about minimizing your communication. It seems like it might be but it’s not.

    What I mean by over communicating is ensuring that the other person understands the important parts of what you are sharing with them. This can be done simply yet effectively. Here’s a good example:

    Most companies have open enrollment for benefits for the employees in the fall. The company I work for has open enrollment from November 1 to 15. The benefits department will send out a communication to all employees around October 1st, letting them know open enrollment is right around the corner and any major changes that year. There’s also a phone number and email for people to contact them with any questions.

    Two weeks later, we all get a follow up email with basically the same information. We get a 3rd communication the week before open enrollment and another one 1 day before it starts.

    Finally we get 2 emails during enrollment reminding us when open enrollment ends.

    There’s minimal information, it’s more of a reminder. This is effective over communication.

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    5. Body Language

    The final critical component to how to improve communication skills for workplace success is body language. This is something most of us have heard about before but, a reminder is probably a good idea.

    When I am in a meeting with someone I am comfortable with, I tend to kind of slouch down in my chair and cross my arms. When I catch myself doing this, I sit up straight and uncross my arms. I remember that crossing arms can many times be interpreted as a sign of disagreement or conflict.

    In general, the best rule of thumb is to work towards having open body language whenever possible at work. This means relaxing your posture, not crossing your arms, and looking people in the eye when speaking with them.

    When you are speaking in front of others, stand up straight and speak in a clear voice. This will convey confidence in your words.

    Conclusion

    Possessing strong communication skills will help you in many facets of your life and most certainly in the workplace.

    Good communication helps create better teams, positive experiences with those we interact with, and are critical for leadership.

    There are numerous tactics and techniques to be used to improve communication skills. Here we’ve reviewed how to improve communication skills for workplace success.

    Now go communicate your way to success.

    More Resources About Effective Communication

    Featured photo credit: HIVAN ARVIZU via unsplash.com

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