Advertising
Advertising

How to Be More Attractive: 7 Ways to Be Confident and Charming

How to Be More Attractive: 7 Ways to Be Confident and Charming

You want to be attractive, incredibly attractive.

You know, Pierce Bronson or Liv Tyler kind.

But then you look into the mirror and…let’s just say, any similarity is well hidden which understandably dampens your enthusiasm.

Can I tell you something?  Being attractive has little to do with looks and everything to do with “aura”.

An incredibly attractive person lives inside of you, dying to come out.

Come on, let’s bring that magnetism to the surface. That is, if you dare!

1.  Stop thinking you’re not attractive and just “be” attractive

Make yourself attractive by taking on the right attitude. If you are burying your attractiveness, there’s a reason. Do yourself a favor. Go on a mission and find that reason.

Born within you, there is an attractive and playful side so decide to own it!

Advertising

Change doesn’t happen over time, it happens in the moment you make that decision. Read on.

2.  Deal with your past love stories so they don’t fight with your current story

Bringing the pain and heartbreak of past relationships into the present will kill your sexiness with fear.

Those voices lie below the surface and convince you that history is repeating itself. The only way to live in today is to first look the memories in the face and heal those hurts.

Someone who has learned from where they’ve been and determined to make the present far better is emotionally available. And that, my friend, is extremely charming.

3.  Find your James Bond confidence

That sense of knowing who you are and what makes you worth kissing will exude attractiveness to everyone around you even if that’s not your intention.  I learned this from my second time around husband who says I was like a magnet to him.

Inner confidence attracts (this is not arrogance we are talking about here).

You laugh more easily.

It gives you a kind of mystery that tells someone that you would not bring a lot of “drama” into a relationship. Rather, you would make life interesting.

Advertising

4.  Dress yourself up and take yourself out

The clothes do not make the person but they sure can enhance the person’s best features. Even if you don’t like to shop, make it an interesting project to find out what colors and fit look great on you.

Feeling sharp translates into confidence so be prepared with a couple of outfits that bring out that “Bond” quality in you, man or woman.

Then take yourself on a date somewhere you would love to go just because you are worth it. Be truly ok with being alone and soon you will be giving off incredibly charming vibes.

5.  Stand tall, shoulders back, look others in the eye and smile

Most men agree that the most attractive thing about a woman is her smile. Why? Because when a woman is happy, they don’t have to wonder how to get her there.

In the same way, the last thing a woman wants to take on is being a man’s mom. She wants a man, not a boy.

Your posture and the way you present yourself tells the world about you.

So practice standing tall and being direct and don’t worry if you aren’t feeling confident in the moment. Doing this automatically communicates confidence to your brain and soon your feelings will follow.

6. Become a romance master

We know the moments.

Advertising

He guides her into a dark room and suddenly its filled with incredible light with music and a table set for two. As a woman, I’ve been told men fear romance because they run out of ideas and they know their lady’s heart responds to being wooed.

Romance can be as simple as honestly looking into the eyes of your lover in order to see what’s really going on inside of them.

Romance can be the words you use in a text during the day or when you say goodnight.

Taking the time to go into your heart and find out what speaks to the heart of your lover creates romance.

Be careful here because being open to growing the romantic side of you will make you incredibly attractive!

7.  Fall in love with your life

You have so much to offer. “Incredibly attractive” is simply knowing that and not tolerating play-acting in your life.

It’s about what’s going on inside of you – inside your deepest heart.

Imagine being so interested in your own life that you can’t wait to get up in the morning.

Advertising

Imagine having a sense of passionate purpose at the base of your life continually exciting you about how you are made and what you are meant to do to make a difference.

Imagine taking control of your life so that you spend your time the ways you choose to and with whom you choose to.

Imagine listening to someone because you want to know them, not because you want to impress them.

Imagine looking directly into someone’s eyes and saying what you feel and asking for what you want without fear.

How would this feel? Empowering, right?

Begin moving toward becoming this person. That’s the secret to making yourself incredibly attractive.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

More by this author

How to Be More Attractive: 7 Ways to Be Confident and Charming 9 Ways to Prepare Your Heart for a New Love in 2015 Marriage proposal on a liferaft. Heart Melt! 10 Proposal Ideas From Movies You Should Copy And Paste! Man gazing into woman's eyes 10 Vital Things You Need To Know About True Love Man with arms open toward the sun 10 Ways To Let Go Of The Lies You’ve Been Telling Yourself

Trending in Communication

1 12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now 2 How to Use the 5 Minute Journal to Invest in Your Happiness 3 What’s the Purpose of Life? A Guide to Live with Meaning 4 Why Happiness is a Choice (And a Smart One to Make) 5 How to Survive a Midlife Crisis (The Definitive Guide for Men)

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on January 16, 2020

12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

The way you feel about yourself greatly influences how you live and interact with others. If you are confident about yourself, you tend to see yourself positively and actually enjoy spending time with and around people. You don’t feel self-conscious or awkward around others, and that allows you to live your fullest and happiest life.

However, if you’re drowning in a sea of self-doubt, hesitancy and shyness, you often withdraw and isolate yourself from others and avoid interacting and connecting with people. That anxiety you feel in the pit of your stomach when you are around people is holding you back greatly and it is not good for your emotional health and overall well-being. You need to do something about it if you are low in self-confidence or have friends or family members who are not confident.

“Confidence isn’t walking into a room thinking you’re better than everyone, it’s walking in not having to compare yourself to anyone” – Anonymous

Here are simple, practical tips to boost your confidence right now and make you feel and act your best.

1. Stop labeling yourself as awkward, timid or shy.

When you label yourself as awkward, timid or shy, you sub-consciously tell your mind to act accordingly and psychologically feel inclined to live up to those expectations. Instead of labeling and entertaining negative self-talk, visualize and affirm yourself as confident and strong. Close your eyes for a minute and visualize yourself in different situation as you would like to be.

Be your own cheerleader. Experts believe that positive affirmation and good mental practices like picturing yourself winning or achieving a goal can lead to greater feelings of self-assurance and prepare your brain for success.[1] As the saying goes, “seeing is believing.” Picture yourself as confident and soon enough you will begin to manifest behavior that gives evidence to this new ‘fact.’

2. Recognize that the world is not focused on you (unless, of course, you are Kanye West).

That means you don’t have to be excessively sensitive about who you are or what you are doing (or not doing). You are not on the center stage; there is no need for preoccupation with self and perfectionism. As rap music star Rocko sings, “You just do you and I will do me, aight?”

Advertising

Forget about trying to please everyone or being perfect. Trying to be perfect and being a people-pleaser puts too much pressure on you and creates unnecessary anxiety. Besides, people are too preoccupied with their own issues to pay much attention to your every move unless, of course, you are a mega famous, super celebrity like Beyonce or Kanye West.

3. Focus on other people as opposed to yourself.

If you are low on confidence, self-conscious, nervous and shy in social situations, focus your attention on other people and what they are saying or doing instead of focusing on your own awkwardness.

For example, think about what it is that is interesting about the person who’s the centre of the party or the guy or girl you are talking with. Prompt them to talk more about themselves and be genuinely curious and interested in what they say. You will instantly come across as confident and warmhearted.

People generally want to talk about themselves, be heard and understood. They will love it when you’re eager and willing to listen to them and really hear what they have to say.

This habit of focusing more on what you love in others as opposed to what you dislike in yourself will not only help you become more assertive and comfortable in virtually all social situations, but also instantly make you feel great about yourself.

4. Know (and accept) yourself for who you are.

Chinese military general, strategist and philosopher Sun Tzu, author of the internationally acclaimed book The Art of War, said, “Know yourself and you will win all battles.” Even in the battle with lack of confidence, you will need to know yourself to win.

Knowing yourself starts with understanding that people are not all the same, neither are all social situation suitable for everyone. You might not be confident in large gatherings, but you could be bold and confident in one-on-one and small group interactions. We all have our own unique gifts and unique ways of expressing ourselves. Embrace yours!

Advertising

Introverts, for example, have a quiet confidence that is, unfortunately, often confused for shyness. They are naturally low key and prefer to spend time alone. However, this natural disposition affords them certain unique gifts, such as an ability to listen better than most people and notice things that others don’t.

Your uniqueness is where your strength and advantage lies. You won’t be comfortable and confident in all situations all the time. Albert Einstein said,

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

5. Crack a smile.

If there is one sure way to instantly boost your confidence, it’s cracking a smile. Christine Clapp, a public speaking expert at The George Washington University, says that flashing those pretty, pearly white teeth will immediately make you appear both confident and composed. But, the effect of smiling is not just external. Studies show that smiling can also help nix feelings of stress and pave the way for a happier and more relaxed you.[2]

Not a bad return for something seemingly so trite, wouldn’t you agree?

6. Break a sweat—with exercise.

Working out is another great way to make yourself feel amazing and confident. Science has shown that exercising increases your endorphins, helps reduce stress, tones your muscles and makes you feel happy and confident.[3]

And hey, all you have to do is take a walk a few times a week and you’ll see the benefits. What seems to matter—as far as your confidence goes—is whether you break a sweat, not how strenuous your session is, which is pretty cool. Start working out now.

Advertising

7. Groom yourself.

This might seem mundane, but it’s amazing how much of a difference a shower and shave can have on your confidence and self-image. And when you spritz on a scent, the boost on confidence and self-esteem is incredible. As it turns out, your favorite fragrance does more than make you smell oh-so-nice.

A study found that a fragrance can inspire confidence in men. Interestingly, the study also found that the more a man likes the fragrance, the more confident he might feel. Another study found that 90% of women feel more confident while wearing a scent than those who go fragrance-free.

8. Dress nicely.

Another one that might seem trite, but it works. If you dress nicely, you’ll instantly feel good about yourself and give your confidence a real boost. That is largely because you’ll feel attractive, presentable and sometimes even successful in nice clothes.

While dressing nicely means something different for everyone, it does not necessarily mean wearing $500 designer outfits. It means wearing clothes that are clean, that you are comfortable in and that are nice-looking and presentable, including casual clothes.

9. Do activities you enjoy.

Whether it is reading a book, playing a musical instrument, riding your bicycle or going fishing, do what you really enjoy and what makes you truly happy often. It will boost your self-esteem, soothe your ego and allow you to identify with your gifts and talents. That will in turn bolster your self-belief and grow your confidence exponentially.

You might not become popular for doing what you love, but you might not even want to be popular at all. Being popular doesn’t make you happy; doing what you love does.

10. Prepare for the possibility of rejection / setback.

Late World No. 1 professional tennis player Arthur Ashe said, “One important key to success is self-confidence. A key to self-confidence is preparation.” You need to prepare for the possibility of rejection and setback.

Advertising

Why?

Everybody suffers rejection and setback at one point or another. You are not exempted. The question on your mind, therefore, should not be if you will be rejected, but how you will handle rejection when it comes.

Prepare yourself adequately in every situation to minimize the risk and effect of rejection and so that your confidence is not broken. For example, learn public speaking and rehearse what you are going to say beforehand if you have landed a public speaking engagement. That way, you are sure of yourself and confident you have what it takes to hack it. If you are rejected, don’t take it personally.

Rejection and setbacks happen to the best of us. Take it as a learning experience. Learn from your mistakes and move on.

11. Face uncomfortable situations square in the face.

Don’t run away from uncomfortable situations. Running away from people or situations because you feel scared, shy or timid only confirms and reinforces your shyness. Instead, face the situation that makes you uneasy square in the face. For example, go ahead and talk to that person you are afraid to approach, or go straight to the front of your yoga class! What’s the worst that can happen?

Prepare and be ready for any eventuality. The more you face your fears, the more you realize you are stronger than you thought and the more confident you get. This simple, yet admittedly courageous, act makes you unstoppable. You get comfortable being uncomfortable and begin to feel like you can take on the world. And that is the hallmark of someone destined for great things.

12. Sit up straight and walk tall—you are awesome!

Yes, sit up straight and believe you are awesome. Don’t slump in your chair or slouch your shoulders. Experts say the right stance can not only keep your self-esteem and mood lifted, but also lead to more confidence in your own thoughts.[4]

The way to sit is to open up your chest and keep your head level so that you look and feel poised and assured. And when you get up, stand tall and walk like you’re on a mission. People who sit up straight and walk tall are more attractive and instantly feel more confident. Try it now: you’ll feel fierce and confident just by sitting up straight and walking tall.

Featured photo credit: Freshh Connection via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next