Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on August 24, 2018

How to Be More Attractive: 7 Ways to Be Confident and Charming

How to Be More Attractive: 7 Ways to Be Confident and Charming

You want to be attractive, incredibly attractive.

You know, Pierce Bronson or Liv Tyler kind.

But then you look into the mirror and…let’s just say, any similarity is well hidden which understandably dampens your enthusiasm.

Can I tell you something?  Being attractive has little to do with looks and everything to do with “aura”.

An incredibly attractive person lives inside of you, dying to come out.

Come on, let’s bring that magnetism to the surface. That is, if you dare!

1.  Stop thinking you’re not attractive and just “be” attractive

Make yourself attractive by taking on the right attitude. If you are burying your attractiveness, there’s a reason. Do yourself a favor. Go on a mission and find that reason.

Born within you, there is an attractive and playful side so decide to own it!

Advertising

Change doesn’t happen over time, it happens in the moment you make that decision. Read on.

2.  Deal with your past love stories so they don’t fight with your current story

Bringing the pain and heartbreak of past relationships into the present will kill your sexiness with fear.

Those voices lie below the surface and convince you that history is repeating itself. The only way to live in today is to first look the memories in the face and heal those hurts.

Someone who has learned from where they’ve been and determined to make the present far better is emotionally available. And that, my friend, is extremely charming.

3.  Find your James Bond confidence

That sense of knowing who you are and what makes you worth kissing will exude attractiveness to everyone around you even if that’s not your intention.  I learned this from my second time around husband who says I was like a magnet to him.

Inner confidence attracts (this is not arrogance we are talking about here).

You laugh more easily.

It gives you a kind of mystery that tells someone that you would not bring a lot of “drama” into a relationship. Rather, you would make life interesting.

Advertising

4.  Dress yourself up and take yourself out

The clothes do not make the person but they sure can enhance the person’s best features. Even if you don’t like to shop, make it an interesting project to find out what colors and fit look great on you.

Feeling sharp translates into confidence so be prepared with a couple of outfits that bring out that “Bond” quality in you, man or woman.

Then take yourself on a date somewhere you would love to go just because you are worth it. Be truly ok with being alone and soon you will be giving off incredibly charming vibes.

5.  Stand tall, shoulders back, look others in the eye and smile

Most men agree that the most attractive thing about a woman is her smile. Why? Because when a woman is happy, they don’t have to wonder how to get her there.

In the same way, the last thing a woman wants to take on is being a man’s mom. She wants a man, not a boy.

Your posture and the way you present yourself tells the world about you.

So practice standing tall and being direct and don’t worry if you aren’t feeling confident in the moment. Doing this automatically communicates confidence to your brain and soon your feelings will follow.

6. Become a romance master

We know the moments.

Advertising

He guides her into a dark room and suddenly its filled with incredible light with music and a table set for two. As a woman, I’ve been told men fear romance because they run out of ideas and they know their lady’s heart responds to being wooed.

Romance can be as simple as honestly looking into the eyes of your lover in order to see what’s really going on inside of them.

Romance can be the words you use in a text during the day or when you say goodnight.

Taking the time to go into your heart and find out what speaks to the heart of your lover creates romance.

Be careful here because being open to growing the romantic side of you will make you incredibly attractive!

7.  Fall in love with your life

You have so much to offer. “Incredibly attractive” is simply knowing that and not tolerating play-acting in your life.

It’s about what’s going on inside of you – inside your deepest heart.

Imagine being so interested in your own life that you can’t wait to get up in the morning.

Advertising

Imagine having a sense of passionate purpose at the base of your life continually exciting you about how you are made and what you are meant to do to make a difference.

Imagine taking control of your life so that you spend your time the ways you choose to and with whom you choose to.

Imagine listening to someone because you want to know them, not because you want to impress them.

Imagine looking directly into someone’s eyes and saying what you feel and asking for what you want without fear.

How would this feel? Empowering, right?

Begin moving toward becoming this person. That’s the secret to making yourself incredibly attractive.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

More by this author

How to Be More Attractive: 7 Ways to Be Confident and Charming 9 Ways to Prepare Your Heart for a New Love in 2015 Marriage proposal on a liferaft. Heart Melt! 10 Proposal Ideas From Movies You Should Copy And Paste! Man gazing into woman's eyes 10 Vital Things You Need To Know About True Love Man with arms open toward the sun 10 Ways To Let Go Of The Lies You’ve Been Telling Yourself

Trending in Communication

1 19 Golden Pieces of Relationship Advice From the Experts 2 Signs Of Low Self-Esteem And The Root Causes You Might Not Know 3 How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship 4 How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future 5 This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

Advertising

The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

Advertising

If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

Advertising

In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

Advertising

It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

More Articles About Effective Communication

Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next