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10 Things Your Relationship Needs From You

10 Things Your Relationship Needs From You

It’s funny, when you’re in the first few days, or even weeks, of a new relationship it can be all about how you feel, how you can’t get enough of the other person and how totally awesome your life is. You’ll get the butterflies in the stomach, sweaty palms and the eagerness to spend as much time together that you almost become inseparable!

However, as time passes those feelings can fade and the requirement changes from lust and passion to continual adjustment and re-alignment, a bit like maintaining a car. With this in mind, I have come up with 10 things a relationship needs from you. You’ll discover whether your relationship needs a tiny bit of re-tuning or a full on service.

1. Have continuous, kind, and open communication

These are essential in all relationships but most importantly with your partner—how else can you grow as a couple and appreciate one another’s feelings and opinions? They may not always been in alignment with yours but if you don’t communicate how else can you be understood?

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2. Be willing to put in 100% effort when dealing with challenging times and disputes.

Walking away when things get tough won’t solve anything; the problems and issues will rear their ugly heads time and time again. You have got to be willing to deal with any difficulty that comes up and commit to resolving them together.

3. Have fun, laugh a lot, and make your partner smile on a daily basis

I’m not asking you to be a 24/7 stand-up comic for your significant other but being able to make light of difficult situations and help to distract them from the daily grind of life can be a powerful thing, as it can make your partner feel relaxed and at ease.

4. Share life’s lessons and growing pains

Your partner is supposed to be your best friend, whereas with your pals you can share life’s experiences and ever growing lessons, so why not play be the same rules with your loved one? You’ll be pleasantly surprised by their response and they’ll do the same in return.

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5. Respect, provide emotional support and compliment, often!

This is a given isn’t it? The reason why we get into a relationship is to know that you have someone right beside you at all times. In this rollercoaster of an adventure we call life, you have to be there for your partner; to lift them in down times, be happy in good times and to tell them you love, respect, and care about them.

6. Provide intimacy, romance and passion

Without these, your relationship is merely a friendship. All of these actions are the foundation of a loving and caring relationship. You need to want to be together as a couple and to show this you need to provide intimacy, romance and passion consistently and don’t wait for them to make the first move.

7. Share your dreams and ambitions so you are both on the same page

This is so important, because it’s our dreams that keep us moving forward in life. As you’ve got your own willing cheerleader with you, please remember to share your dreams with them regularly. You’ll both have something to work towards together as a couple.

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8. Be a constant source of acceptance, compassion and above all forgiveness

There is so much truth in the saying “You get what you give”, and these three things are the most important things to have the ability to do as a partner. Throughout your relationship you’ll have challenges, upsets and even losses that seem incredibly painful. You have got to be strong for your partner and riding out these tough times will be a significant factor in whether the relationship lasts or not.

9. Give your partner space to be who they are

This can be tough, especially if you are a little insecure or if you have had previous bad relationships and experienced infidelity, however, when you love someone you have got to set them free. Try to remember when you first met your partner: what was it that you loved about them, that first attraction? I suspect it was their natural confidence and how easy it was to be around them, so why take that away? Give them space to be who they are and you’ll be repaid with loyalty, respect and a load of love!

10. Admit your mistakes and be willing to change

We are all human after all, but it is far better to admit your mistakes than to go on pretending that everything is fine or being too stubborn to say sorry. If there is one thing you must do is to learn to understand what happened, adjust and move on from it. These could be the screw ups you have made or your partners.

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So this is the time where I ask if you are doing what you need to do in your relationship. Is it in need of a slight re-tune or a full service?

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Paula Lawes

Paula loves people and connecting. She writes about communication and relationships tips on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on September 12, 2019

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

Even the most charismatic people you know, whether in person or celebrities of some sort, experience days where they feel lost in life and isolated from everyone else.

While it’s good to know we aren’t alone in this feeling, the question still remains:

What should we do when we feel lost and lonely?

Here are 12 things to remember:

1. Recognize That It’s Okay!

The truth is, there are times you need to be alone. If you’ve always been accustomed to being in contact with people, this may prove difficult.

However, learning how to be alone and comfortable in your own skin will give you confidence and a sense of self reliance.

We cheat ourselves out of the opportunity to become self reliant when we look for constant companionship.

Learn how to embrace your me time: What Your Fear of Being Alone Is Really About and How to Get over It

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2. Use Your Lost and Loneliness as a Self-Directing Guide

You’ve most likely heard the expression: “You have to know where you’ve been to know where you’re going.”

Loneliness also serves as a life signal to indicate you’re in search of something. It’s when we’re in the midst of solitude that answers come from true soul searching.

Remember, there is more to life than what you’re feeling.

3. Realize Loneliness Helps You Face the Truth

Being in the constant company of others, although comforting sometimes, can often serve as a distraction when we need to face the reality of a situation.

Solitude cuts straight to the chase and forces you to deal with the problem at hand. See it as a blessing that can serve as a catalyst to set things right!

4. Be Aware That You Have More Control Than You Think

Typically, when we see ourselves as being lost or lonely, it gives us an excuse to view everything we come in contact with in a negative light. It lends itself to putting ourselves in the victim mode, when the truth of the matter is that you choose your attitude in every situation.

No one can force a feeling upon you! It is YOU who has the ultimate say as to how you choose to react.

5. Embrace the Freedom That the Feeling of Being Alone Can Offer

Instead of wallowing in self pity, which many are prone to do because of loneliness, try looking at your circumstance as a new-found freedom.

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Most people are in constant need of approval of their viewpoints. Try enjoying the fact that  you don’t need everyone you care about to support your decisions.

6. Acknowledge the Person You Are Now

Perhaps you feel a sense of loneliness and confusion because your life circumstances have taken you away from the persona that others know to be you.

Perhaps the new you differs radically from the old. Realize that life is about change and how we react to that change. It’s okay that you’re not who you used to be.

Take a look at this article and learn to accept your imperfect self: Accept Yourself (Flaws and All): 7 Benefits of Being Vulnerable

7. Keep Striving to Do Your Best

Often those who are feeling isolated and unto themselves will develop a defeatist attitude. They’ll do substandard work because their self esteem is low and they don’t care.

Never let this feeling take away your sense of worth! Do your best always and when you come through this dark time, others will admire how you stayed determined in spite of the obstacles you had to overcome.

And to live your best life, you must do this ONE thing: step out of your comfort zone.

8. Don’t Forget That Time Is Precious

When we’re lost in a sea of loneliness and depression, it’s all too easy to reflect on regrets of past life events. This does nothing but feed negativity and perpetuate the situation.

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Instead of falling prey to this common pitfall, put one foot in front of the other and acknowledge every positive step you take. By doing this, you can celebrate the struggles you overcome at the end of the day.

9. Remember, Things Happen for a Reason

Every circumstance we encounter in our life is designed to teach us and that lesson is in turn passed on to others.

Sometimes we’re fortunate enough to figure out the lesson to be learned, while other times, we simply need to have faith that if the lesson wasn’t meant directly for us to learn from, how we handled it was observed by someone who needed to learn.

Your solitude and feeling of lost, in this instance, although painful possibly, may be teaching someone else.

10. Journal During This Time

Record your thoughts when you’re at the height of loneliness and feeling lost. You’ll be amazed when you reflect back at how you viewed things at the time and how far you’ve come later.

This time (if recorded) can give you a keen insight into who you are and what makes you feel the way you feel.

11. Remember You Aren’t the First to Feel This Way

It’s quite common to feel as if we’re alone and no one else has ever felt this way before. We think this because at the time of our distress, we’re silently observing others around us who are seemingly fine in every way.

The truth is, we can’t possibly know the struggles of those around us unless they elect to share them. We ALL have known this pain!

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Try confiding in someone you trust and ask them how they deal with these feelings when they experienced it. You may be surprised at what you learn.

12. Ask for Help If the Problem Persists

The feeling of being lost and lonely is common to everyone, but typically it will last for a relatively short period of time.

Most people will confess to, at one time or another, being in a “funk.” But if the problem persists longer than you feel it should, don’t ignore it.

When your ability to reason and consider things rationally becomes impaired, do not poo poo the problem away and think it isn’t worthy of attention. Seek medical help.

Afraid to ask for help? Here’s how to change your outlook to aim high!

Final Thoughts

Loneliness and a sense of feeling lost can in many ways be extremely painful and difficult to deal with at best. However, these feelings can also serve as a catalyst for change in our lives if we acknowledge them and act.

Above anything, cherish your mental well being and don’t underestimate its worth. Seek professional guidance if you’re unable to distinguish between a sense of freedom for yourself and a sense of despair.

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Featured photo credit: Andrew Neel via unsplash.com

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