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10 Things Your Relationship Needs From You

10 Things Your Relationship Needs From You

It’s funny, when you’re in the first few days, or even weeks, of a new relationship it can be all about how you feel, how you can’t get enough of the other person and how totally awesome your life is. You’ll get the butterflies in the stomach, sweaty palms and the eagerness to spend as much time together that you almost become inseparable!

However, as time passes those feelings can fade and the requirement changes from lust and passion to continual adjustment and re-alignment, a bit like maintaining a car. With this in mind, I have come up with 10 things a relationship needs from you. You’ll discover whether your relationship needs a tiny bit of re-tuning or a full on service.

1. Have continuous, kind, and open communication

These are essential in all relationships but most importantly with your partner—how else can you grow as a couple and appreciate one another’s feelings and opinions? They may not always been in alignment with yours but if you don’t communicate how else can you be understood?

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2. Be willing to put in 100% effort when dealing with challenging times and disputes.

Walking away when things get tough won’t solve anything; the problems and issues will rear their ugly heads time and time again. You have got to be willing to deal with any difficulty that comes up and commit to resolving them together.

3. Have fun, laugh a lot, and make your partner smile on a daily basis

I’m not asking you to be a 24/7 stand-up comic for your significant other but being able to make light of difficult situations and help to distract them from the daily grind of life can be a powerful thing, as it can make your partner feel relaxed and at ease.

4. Share life’s lessons and growing pains

Your partner is supposed to be your best friend, whereas with your pals you can share life’s experiences and ever growing lessons, so why not play be the same rules with your loved one? You’ll be pleasantly surprised by their response and they’ll do the same in return.

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5. Respect, provide emotional support and compliment, often!

This is a given isn’t it? The reason why we get into a relationship is to know that you have someone right beside you at all times. In this rollercoaster of an adventure we call life, you have to be there for your partner; to lift them in down times, be happy in good times and to tell them you love, respect, and care about them.

6. Provide intimacy, romance and passion

Without these, your relationship is merely a friendship. All of these actions are the foundation of a loving and caring relationship. You need to want to be together as a couple and to show this you need to provide intimacy, romance and passion consistently and don’t wait for them to make the first move.

7. Share your dreams and ambitions so you are both on the same page

This is so important, because it’s our dreams that keep us moving forward in life. As you’ve got your own willing cheerleader with you, please remember to share your dreams with them regularly. You’ll both have something to work towards together as a couple.

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8. Be a constant source of acceptance, compassion and above all forgiveness

There is so much truth in the saying “You get what you give”, and these three things are the most important things to have the ability to do as a partner. Throughout your relationship you’ll have challenges, upsets and even losses that seem incredibly painful. You have got to be strong for your partner and riding out these tough times will be a significant factor in whether the relationship lasts or not.

9. Give your partner space to be who they are

This can be tough, especially if you are a little insecure or if you have had previous bad relationships and experienced infidelity, however, when you love someone you have got to set them free. Try to remember when you first met your partner: what was it that you loved about them, that first attraction? I suspect it was their natural confidence and how easy it was to be around them, so why take that away? Give them space to be who they are and you’ll be repaid with loyalty, respect and a load of love!

10. Admit your mistakes and be willing to change

We are all human after all, but it is far better to admit your mistakes than to go on pretending that everything is fine or being too stubborn to say sorry. If there is one thing you must do is to learn to understand what happened, adjust and move on from it. These could be the screw ups you have made or your partners.

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So this is the time where I ask if you are doing what you need to do in your relationship. Is it in need of a slight re-tune or a full service?

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Last Updated on April 11, 2019

How to Improve Communication Skills for Workplace Success

How to Improve Communication Skills for Workplace Success

Possessing strong communication skills will help you in every phase of your life. This is especially true in the workplace.

I have personally worked with several leaders who were masters of communication. A few were wonderful speakers who could tell a great story and get everyone in the room engaged. Those of us in attendance would walk away feeling inspired and eager to help with what came next. Others were very skilled at sharing a clear direction and job expectations.

I knew exactly what was expected of me and how to achieve my goals. This was the foundation of an energized and vibrant role I was in. What I have found is strong communication skills are incredibly helpful and sometimes critical in how well we perform at work.

Here we will take a look at how to improve communication skills for workplace success.

How Communication Skills Help Your Success

Strong communication skills pave the way for success in many ways. Let’s look at a few of the big ones.

Create a Positive Experience

Here are two examples of how well developed communication skills helps create a positive experience:

When I first moved to the city I now live in, I began a job search. Prior to my first live interview, I was told an address to go to. Upon arriving at the address provided, I drove around and around attempting to find the location. After 15 minutes of circling and looking for the address, I finally grabbed a parking spot and set out on foot.

What I discovered was the address was actually down an alley and only had the number over the door. No sign for the actual company. The person that gave me those very unclear directions provided a bad experience for me.

Had they communicated the directions to get there in a clear manner, my experience would have been much better. Instead the entire experience started off poorly and colored the entire meeting.

As a recruiter, I frequently provide potential candidates with information about a job I’m speaking to them about. In order to do this, I also provide a picture of the overall company, the group they might be joining, and how their role fits in and impacts the entire company.

Time and time again I have been told by candidates that I have provided the clearest picture of a company and role they have ever heard. They have a positive experience when I clearly communicate to them. Even when the position does not work out for them, often times they will want to stay in touch with me due to the open communication and beneficial experience they had during the interviewing process.

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Strong communication skills will provide a positive experience in virtually any interaction you have with someone.

Help Leadership Skills

It’s certainly a skill all its own to be able to lead others.

Being a mentor and guiding others towards success is a major hallmark of great leaders. Another characteristic of effective leaders is the ability to communicate clearly.

As I referenced above, having a leader who can plainly articulate the company’s mission and direction goes a really long way towards being the Captain of the boat that others want to follow. It’s like saying “here’s our destination and this is how we are going to get there” in a way that everyone can get on board with.

Another critical component of everyone helping to sail the boat in the right direction is knowing what your portion is all about. How are you helping the boat move towards its destination in the manner than is consistent with the leaders’ vision?

If you have a boss or a manager that can show you what it takes for not only you to be successful, but also how your performance helps the company’s success then you’ve got a winner. A boss with superior communication skills.

Build Better Teams

Most of us work in teams of some sort or another. During the course of my career, I have led teams up to 80 and also been an individual contributor.

In my individual contributor roles, I have been part of a larger team. Even if you are in business for yourself, you have to interact with others in one manner or another.

If you have strong communication skills, it helps to build better teams. This is true whether you are in an IT department with 100 other fellow programmers or if you own your own business and have customers or vendors you communicate with.

When you showcase your robust ability to communicate well with others while interacting with them, you are building a better team.

Now let’s jump in to how to improve communication skills to help you pave the way for your workplace success.

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How to Improve Communication Skills for Workplace Success

There are many tips, tricks, and techniques to improve communication skills. I don’t want to overwhelm you with too much information, so let’s focus on the things that will provide the biggest return on your time investment.

Most of these tips will be fairly easy to become aware of but will take time and effort to implement. So let’s go!

1. Listen

Ever heard the saying you have two ears and one mouth for a reason? If you haven’t, then here’s the reason:

Being a good listener is half the equation to being a good communicator.

People who have the ability to really listen to someone can then actually answer questions in a meaningful way. If you don’t make the effort to actively listen, then you are really doing yourself and the other person a disservice in the communication department.

Know that person who is chomping at the bit to open his or her mouth the second you stop talking? Don’t be that person. They haven’t listened to at least 1/2 of what you’ve said. Therefore the words that spill out of their mouth are going to be about 1/2 relevant to what you just said.

Listen to someone completely and be comfortable with short periods of silence. Work on your listening skills first and foremost.

2. Know Your Audience

Knowing your audience is another critical component to having strong communication skills. The way you interact with your manager should be different than how you interact with your kids. This isn’t to say you need to be a different person with everyone you interact with. Far from it.

Here is a good way to think about it:

Imagine using your the same choice of words and body language you use with your spouse while interacting with your boss. That puts things in a graphic light!

You want to ensure you are using the type of communication most relevant to your audience.

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3. Minimize

I have lunch with a business associate about 3 times a year. We’ve been talking for several years now about putting a business deal together.

He is one of those people that simply overwhelms others with a lot of words. Sometimes when I ask him a question, I get buried beneath such an avalanche of words that I’m more confused than when I asked the question. Needless to say this is most likely a large portion of why we never put the deal together.

Don’t be like my lunch business associate. The goal of talking to or communicating with someone is to share actual information. The goal is not to confuse someone, it’s to provide clarity in many cases.

State what needs to be stated as succinctly as possible. That doesn’t mean you can’t have some pleasant conversation about the weather too.

The point is to not create such an onslaught of words and information that the other person walks away more confused than when they started.

4. Over Communicate

So this probably sounds completely counter intuitive to what I just wrote about minimizing your communication. It seems like it might be but it’s not.

What I mean by over communicating is ensuring that the other person understands the important parts of what you are sharing with them. This can be done simply yet effectively. Here’s a good example:

Most companies have open enrollment for benefits for the employees in the fall. The company I work for has open enrollment from November 1 to 15. The benefits department will send out a communication to all employees around October 1st, letting them know open enrollment is right around the corner and any major changes that year. There’s also a phone number and email for people to contact them with any questions.

Two weeks later, we all get a follow up email with basically the same information. We get a 3rd communication the week before open enrollment and another one 1 day before it starts.

Finally we get 2 emails during enrollment reminding us when open enrollment ends.

There’s minimal information, it’s more of a reminder. This is effective over communication.

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5. Body Language

The final critical component to how to improve communication skills for workplace success is body language. This is something most of us have heard about before but, a reminder is probably a good idea.

When I am in a meeting with someone I am comfortable with, I tend to kind of slouch down in my chair and cross my arms. When I catch myself doing this, I sit up straight and uncross my arms. I remember that crossing arms can many times be interpreted as a sign of disagreement or conflict.

In general, the best rule of thumb is to work towards having open body language whenever possible at work. This means relaxing your posture, not crossing your arms, and looking people in the eye when speaking with them.

When you are speaking in front of others, stand up straight and speak in a clear voice. This will convey confidence in your words.

Conclusion

Possessing strong communication skills will help you in many facets of your life and most certainly in the workplace.

Good communication helps create better teams, positive experiences with those we interact with, and are critical for leadership.

There are numerous tactics and techniques to be used to improve communication skills. Here we’ve reviewed how to improve communication skills for workplace success.

Now go communicate your way to success.

More Resources About Effective Communication

Featured photo credit: HIVAN ARVIZU via unsplash.com

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