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10 Things You Will Learn from Dating an Independent Woman

10 Things You Will Learn from Dating an Independent Woman

A lot of people imagine that independent women are some sort of mystical creature, or maybe a goddess or even a myth. However, independent women are very real, very successful, and loads of fun to get to know. They have weaknesses and strengths just like everybody else but they are beautifully determined and unarguably have power to better the world. So, what is it like to date an independent woman?

1. She will inspire you

Independent women have the capacity to face life’s challenges with a courageous heart. They have fears of failure like everyone else, but more than anything they are afraid of going through life without fulfilling their potential. Their “I-can-do-anything” personality will sure shake your perceptions about how you may be living your own life, and inspire you to achieve your dreams.

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2. She does not believe in clinginess

Want a woman that is totally obsessed with your looks and cannot help but be all over you in private and in public? Then an independent woman is not for you. Independent women know how to show their love, and the appropriate times to do so. They understand that a ‘significant other’ is a part of their lives and not their entire life. In short, they have a life outside of you.

3. She may be help-deprived

The most amazing characteristic about the independent woman is also her biggest enemy. Her independence may get in the way of asking for help. She may see asking for help as a sign of weakness or an interposition. Step in and offer to help but be sure not to overstep your boundaries. If she says “no” to your offer for help, leave it at that and wait until she changes her mind.

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4. She needs a strong significant other

Independent women need someone that understands them and gives them their space. Only a significant other that has a life of their own and who values independence will be able to meet the independent woman’s needs.

5. She loves to travel alone

Independent women are not afraid to take an adventure on their own. Whether they go down to the beach or halfway around the world, they see traveling alone as the freedom they need to make the most of their traveling experience.

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6. She may have few friends

Independent women can be very intimidating! For this reason, independent women tend to have a lot of acquaintances but very few close friends. Because of their I-can-do-it-on-my-own attitude, sometimes they may not be approachable. However, when you embrace their attitude of independence you will sure gain a close and loyal companion.

7. She is not afraid to be alone

No friends available Tuesday night to try out that new Thai place around the corner or to watch the latest Matthew McConaughey movie? Not a problem for the independent woman. The independent woman is not afraid of sitting alone and having a “romantic” evening where she gets to clear their thoughts and ponder new ideas. She is also not the least bit intimidated of sitting alone in a movie theater and enjoying the show.

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8. She thrives on her independence

Everyone at work slacking on the latest assignment? While super frustrating, that is quite alright for the independent woman. She knows what she is capable of accomplishing and isn’t afraid to take on whatever career challenges come her way. She thrives on working alone and because she controls the outcome.

9. She loves to love

While she may seem distant at times, the independent woman loves to love. She may not be the most affectionate partner but she is stunningly thoughtful in how she displays her love.

10. She follows Shakespeare’s advice

Finally, the independent woman loves to follow Shakespeare’s advice—”To thine own self be true”—and she takes it to heart. She knows who she is and what she wants. Don’t mistake her firmness for rudeness, she just knows when to say “no” and when to move on. Don’t be afraid to embrace her self-worth and appreciate her candid take on how she should be treated.

Featured photo credit: saritaking.com

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Sarita King

motivational warrior!

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The Gentle Art of Saying No

The Gentle Art of Saying No

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

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But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

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What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

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But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here are the Top 10 tips for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No:

  1. Value your time. Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”
  2. Know your priorities. Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time? For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.
  3. Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
  4. Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.
  5. Stop being nice. Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets. Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.
  6. Say no to your boss. Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.
  7. Pre-empting. It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting, “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”
  8. Get back to you. Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them: “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.” At least you gave it some consideration.
  9. Maybe later. If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say, “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].” Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.
  10. It’s not you, it’s me. This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time. Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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