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10 Things You Should Defend For Your Kids No Matter What Others Say

10 Things You Should Defend For Your Kids No Matter What Others Say

Sometimes kids do need us their parents or older ones to stand up and defend them. It adds to their character and their self-esteem. In the process of doing this you are also able to correct common misconceptions and set matters straight.

1. They aren’t dumb, they simply need more time

Kids can be slow learners. Some of the greatest minds of all time started late. People like Albert Einstein and Steve Jobs were not A students while in school, but everyone can attest to their tremendous success later in life. It is harsh and wrong for anyone to be conclusive of your child, regardless of his/her present status and parents should do well to defend this.

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2. They are not stubborn, they are independent

It is wrong to say someone is stubborn; it seems the speaker of such statement means your child is great at not listening to others and acting stupid. But such connotations writes off the child’s ability to creatively think on his/her own and make the decision that is appealing to them. They can’t be stubborn, but they can be independent.

3. They are not fat, they are big

Being fat is an abusive term. The speaker of such statement could want to mean that your child is a glutton and he/she is not adjusted to a specific size. But we all are made differently and being big or mature could have been taken or inherited from someone in the family. And such decision may not be a choice presented to your child.

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4. They are not shy, they like to be alone

Being alone means your child appreciates solitude and wants to enjoy a relationship with their own self. Some children deserve to have their space to think and understand what is going on around them. Being alone or spending time with themselves doesn’t mean they can’t speak out if they have to.

5. They are not lazy; they only like to do what is right

Many people think that you have to be a jack of all trades and always work to be the ideal person. But success doesn’t mean hard work but also smart work. One has to prioritize what he/she spends their energy on. And it is great if your kids are defended to understand this concept that even if they have to work they have to also be choosy on what they invest their energy in.

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6. They don’t cry a lot, they are expressive

It may be that your child is bullied or has cause to be emotional about every provocation. People could remark that they are too emotional or cry a lot, which could be perceived as a weakness. However it is great to stand up for them and let the world know that they are not tearful but rather expressive.

7. They are not arrogant, they like to be special

There is nothing wrong in wanting to be treated like a king rather than being abused as a beggar. If your children demand respect and to be treated right; no one should mistake this for arrogance and insult them for having some self-worth. On occasion like this you can stand up and defend them appropriately.

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8. They are not slow, they are cautious

Some people are great at taking their time to act. If this is termed as being slow, you have to correct this perception and defend your child by letting others know that they are only acting cautiously.

9. They are not dirty, they are learning

Being neat and being averse to taking risk or doing something new or fun doesn’t make your child awful or out of place. It is always better to correct this notion by standing up for them to make the world understand that they are learning and during this process they can get some things messed up.

10. They are not too forward, they are smart

Sometimes acting clever means you have to act quick and fast. They are not trying to look down on others and make others feel bad, they just want to be counted first and show they can respond faster.

Featured photo credit: http://www.pixabay.com via pixabay.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

Reference

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