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10 Things You Need To Commit Yourself To If You Have Low Self-Esteem

10 Things You Need To Commit Yourself To If You Have Low Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is perhaps one of the most misunderstood elements that people fail to recognize. It often gets mistaken for self-confidence, and yet is one of the most important things to focus on to live a fulfilled life. Self-esteem is different, because it involves your core values and the inner workings of your mind that essentially define who you are. Self-confidence, on the other hand, is the belief you have in yourself that typically involves things you aren’t familiar with.

Improving your self-esteem is hard, as it’s never constant. However, there are a number of fundamental principles you can follow that will give you a good foundation to help improve it.

1. Don’t compromise on your happiness just to please others.

You have to be willing to stay true to yourself at all times. This includes not being afraid to speak your mind without fear of losing someone’s approval.

You begin to realize that there is really no reason for you to change yourself, since you are who you are. As long as you’re a nice person at heart and socially congruent, then there’s really no reason for someone to want you to change.

2. Become responsible for everything that happens in your life.

Looking at this in perspective, if there is anything in your life that you personally aren’t happy with, would you say it’s due to the things external to you or because of the decisions you made?

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This is the first step to becoming conscious as you start looking at things in a more objective manner. Do you place blame on others or do you take responsibility?

Taking responsibility means one thing — you’re in complete control of the results you create in your outside world.

3. Don’t be afraid of making mistakes.

Making mistakes is what we all have to go through if we’re to become better. Andrea Walz bases her book Go for No on this key principle. If you’re not failing, you’re not growing.

Be willing to embrace failure and to fail as fast as you can and as often as you can. The key difference between a success and a failure is due to this key point: a successful person isn’t afraid to try and fail.

4. Learn to say “no” more often.

Don’t be a “yes” person all the time. There may be times where you feel pressured by friends to do certain things that you don’t want to do. This is usually the perfect opportunity to demonstrate your discipline and personal boundaries, which is essential for building your self-esteem. Say “no” and be willing to stand your ground.

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Your friends or family may not like it, but they certainly will respect you for it.

5. Don’t worry about the choices you’ve made.

Whatever choices you’ve made in your life is all due to your personal values and boundaries. This is further solidified if you better understand what your values and boundaries actually are.

The more about yourself you learn to understand, the less worry and anxiety you’ll experience in the long term. Learn to accept and trust in the choices you make and to push forward regardless of the outcome.

6. Learn to accept the way things are.

Be willing to accept your successes and failures before moving on to change and improve them. As long as you live consciously as stated in point #2, you will always have the ability and the opportunity to change course.

It’s also a very effective way to develop a humble character.

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7. Write down things you’re grateful for.

It is quite common to overlook the nice things around us and to take things for granted. In most cases, we are more fortunate than we believe we are. Are you able to walk, talk and move normally? Are you a hard worker? Do you have friends who like and respect you? Are you a good person?

However bad your current situation may be, there will always be someone who is worse off than you who may well look at you and see you as the type of person they’re striving to be in the future.

8. Accept your flaws and understand that you’re not perfect.

The reality is, nobody is perfect. Sure, you could work very hard toward perfection, but realize that no matter how hard you work, you will always fall short. It’s simply the nature of the beast. As humans, we’re designed to be imperfect, to make mistakes, to fail countless times and to strive.

There is no real growth without self-acceptance.

9. Be willing to embrace rejection.

Rejection comes with the territory and happens on a daily basis. The key thing to understand is that rejection only becomes significant the minute we place value on it. Was it a big deal to you if the burger you wanted at McDonald’s was unavailable?

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Learn to detach yourself from the outcome and to see rejection for what it is.

10. Learn to tackle the good times and the bad.

Regardless of what happens to you in your life, you will face good times and bad. This is a given and the reality of life. But the key to good self-esteem is in recognizing the situation for what it is and to simply learn to deal with it in the best way you can.

Because just like the good times, the bad times will also pass.

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Last Updated on June 19, 2019

6 Ways to Be a Successful Risk Taker and Take More Chances

6 Ways to Be a Successful Risk Taker and Take More Chances

I’ve stood on the edge of my own personal cliffs many times. Each time I jumped, something different happened. There were risks that started off great, but eventually faded. There were risks that left me falling until I hit the ground. There were risks that started slow, but built into massive successes.

Every risk is different, but every risk is the same. You need to have some fundamentals ready before you jump, but not too many.

It wouldn’t be a risk if you knew everything that was about to happen, would it? Here’re 6 ways to be a successful risk taker.

1. Understand That Failure Is Going to Happen a Lot

It’s part of life. Everything we do has failure attached to it. All successful people have stories of massive failure attached to them. Thinking that your risk is going to be pain free and run as smooth as silk is insane.

Expect some pain and failure. Actually, expect a lot of it. Expect the sleepless nights with crazy thoughts of insecurity that leave you trembling under the covers. It’s going to happen, no matter how positive you are about the risk you are about to take.

When failure hits, the only options are to keep going or quit. If you expect falling into a meadow of flowers and frolicking unicorns, then you’re going to immediately quit once you realize that getting to that meadow requires you to go through a rock filled cave filled with hungry bats.

2. Trust the Muse

Writing a story isn’t a big risk. It’s really just a risk on my time. So when I start writing a story, I’m scared it will be time wasted. Of course, it never really is. Even if the story doesn’t turn out fabulous, I still practiced.

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When I’ve taken risks in my life, the successful ones always seemed to happen when I followed the muse. Steven Pressfield describes the muse,

“The Muse demands depth. Shallow does not work for her. If we’re seeking her help, we can’t stay in the kiddie end. When we work, we have to go hard and go deep.”

The muse is a goddess who wants our attention and wants us to work on our passion.

If you’re taking a risk in anything, it’s assumed that there is some passion built up behind that risk. That passion, deep inside you, is the muse. Trust it, focus on it, listen to it.

The most successful articles and stories I write are the ones I’ve focused all my attention on. There were no interruptions during their creative development. I didn’t check my phone or go watch my Twitter feed. I was fully engaged in my work.

Trust the muse, focus your attention on your risk, let the ideas and path develop themselves, and leave the distractions at the side of the road.

3. Remember to Be Authentic

Taking a risk and then turning into something you’re not, is only going to lead to disaster. Whether you are risking a new relationship or new opportunity, you must be yourself throughout the entire process.

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How many times have you acted like you loved something just because the men or woman you just started going out with loved it?

For example, I’m not an office worker. I have an incredibly hard time working in a confined timeline (ie. 9-5). That’s why I write. I can do it whenever the mood strikes, I don’t have somebody breathing down my neck, telling me that I’m five minutes late, or missed a comma somewhere. I don’t have to walk on eggshells wondering if what I’m writing will get me fired or make me lose a promotion. I can just be myself, period.

One girlfriend didn’t understand that. She believed solely in the 9-5 motto, specifically something in human resources because that was a very stable job. I was scared for my future, but I stuck with the relationship because of my own insecurities and acted like I would do it to make her happy.

Here’s a tip: NEVER take away from your happiness to make somebody else satisfied (note I didn’t say happy).

Making somebody else happy will make you happy. Doing something to satisfy somebody is murder on your soul.

4. Don’t Take Any Risks While You’re Not Clearheaded

I’d been considering the risk for a couple weeks. It all sounded good. I was 22 and I could be rich in a couple of years. That’s what they were selling me, anyways.

One night, while at a house party with some friends, I found myself at a computer. A couple of my friends were standing nearby and asked me what I was doing. I told them I was considering starting my own business and it was only going to cost me $1,500.

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Of course, when a bunch of drunk people are surrounded by more drunk people, things get enthusiastic. It sounded like the best business venture in the world to everybody, including me. So I signed up and gave them my credit card number.

A few painful months and close to $4,000 dollars lost later, I quit the business. I was young and fell into the pyramid scheme trap. It was an expensive drunk decision.

Drinking heavily and making decisions has a proven track record of failure. So when you have something important to decide, don’t let your emotions take over your brain.

5. Fully Understand What You’re Risking

It was the start of my baseball comeback. I got a tryout with a professional scout and killed it. After the tryout, he talked to my girlfriend and myself, making sure we understood I would be gone for up to 6 months at a time. That strain on the relationship could be tough.

We understood. I left to play ball, chose to stay in the city I played in, and a year later we broke up. Not because of baseball, see point 3 above. Taking big risks can have massive impacts on everything in your life from relationships to money. Know what you’re risking before you take the risk.

If you believe the risk will be worth it or you have the support you need from your family, then go ahead and make the leap.

You can get more guidance on how to take calculated risks from this article: How to Take Calculated Risk to Achieve More and Become Successful

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6. Remember This Is Your One Shot Only

As far as we know officially, this is our one shot at life, so why not take some risks?

The top thing people are saddened by on their deathbeds are these regrets. They wish they did more, asked that girl in the coffee shop out, spoke out when they should have, or did what they were passionate about.

Don’t regret. Learn and experience. Live. Take the risks you believe in. Be yourself and make the world a better place.

Now go ahead, take that risk and be successful at it!

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Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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