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10 Things Trustworthy People Don’t Do

10 Things Trustworthy People Don’t Do

Trustworthy people aim to establish meaningful relationships with their friends, clients, and co-workers. If you can’t demonstrate compassion for others, then why should anyone care about about you? To become a person who can be counted on, watch out for these ten things trustworthy people don’t do.

1. They don’t participate in office gossip.

Trustworthy people love to have a good conversation, but they refuse to speculate about the life of a friend or co-worker. They know it is silly to make assumptions, because every person’s behavior is influenced by outside factors they couldn’t possibly know about. While they aren’t afraid of confrontations, they won’t speak ill words behind a person’s back.

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2. They don’t repeat secrets they were trusted with.

Trustworthy people know how to keep their mouth shut. They might be tempted to disclose a friend’s secret to another person who is affected by it, but they fight the urge, because they know it is impossible to force a person to open up before they are ready.

3. They don’t wear different masks depending on who they’re with.

Trustworthy people are confident in who they are. They could avoid bringing up certain topics to specific people who would get upset (or just aren’t interested), but they are willing to speak words of truth without filter if their opinion is requested.

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4. They don’t refuse to admit their faults and short-comings.

Trustworthy people accept themselves as they are. Since being vulnerable is a great way to relate with people on a more emotional level, they speak openly about bad decisions, past mistakes, or significant failures that revealed an important life truth that would help others.

5. They don’t pretend to like things they hate just to impress people.

Trustworthy people embrace their unique taste in fashion, sports, music, (or whatever the case may be) without hesitation. While they might follow trends out of curiosity, they won’t pretend to like something just to get another person’s attention, because they know faking your way into a relationship is a childlike and deceptive thing to do.

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6. They don’t pursue a relationship just because they want something.

Trustworthy people treat all people with respect. You won’t see them desperately begging for a favor, because they know that it is best to wine and dine a person before you try to score. They believe they should demonstrate value to another person before expecting to receive anything in return.

7. They don’t make promises they can’t keep.

Trustworthy people keep their word. They know it is silly to complain about being “too busy,” because feeling overwhelmed is a glaring sign that they have accepted too many commitments. To make time for what matters, they perform an honest assessment of how they are spending their day by prioritizing the tasks that offer the most benefit and eliminating the rest.

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8. They don’t judge people while being far from perfect.

Trustworthy people accept all people without question. They understand that it is counterproductive to condemn another person, because negative words are not an effective way to inspire positive action. While they might offer constructive criticism to people who would be receptive to it, they don’t do so in a condescending tone.

9. They don’t steal all the credit for themselves.

Trustworthy people express gratitude for the people who help them. They are confident in their abilities, but they also accept the fact that they would be nothing without the support of those who made their success possible.

10. They don’t think they have it all figured out.

Trustworthy people have no fear of being wrong. They strive to learn something new every day. They might be stubborn about beliefs that have been hardened by years of reflection, but they are also open to the possibility that they don’t have all the answers.

Featured photo credit: Trust/Joi Ito via flickr.com

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Daniel Wallen

Daniel is a writer who focuses on blogging about happiness and motivation at Lifehack.

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Last Updated on February 25, 2020

5 Rules for Overcoming Adversity and Emotional Pain

5 Rules for Overcoming Adversity and Emotional Pain

“Some people choose to see the ugliness in this world, the disarray. I choose to see the beauty. To believe there is an order to our days. A purpose.” – from the popular show, “Westworld”

It’s different for us all. My personal quest for purpose began with five stages of grief and one startling realization that everything’s endlessly fragile. Adversity, as it happens by rule, found me terribly unprepared, so I decided to take my time. Today, I can honestly say that I’ve grown.

Ugliness and beauty, good and evil, pain and laughter – everything in the universe consists of two forces that are opposing but complementary. In the face of difficulty, that is the only mantra you need.

Here’s how I learned it and why you should too, with five simple rules.

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1. Embrace the Complexity

Quite insidiously, adversities come in all shapes and sizes. Paralyzing physical disabilities, mind-wracking mental problems, ruthless emotional havocs, all leading to the same painful acknowledgement: all the beauty in the world cannot possibly make up for the ugliness that surrounds us. Shattered to pieces, helpless and bare naked, we sit in our therapy chairs, apologizing for being so negative.

Eventually, what it all comes down to is the nature of negative emotion. Our positives overshadow our negatives, thus wrongly teaching us that the road to well-being is paved with nothing but positive feelings and thoughts. How utterly wrong!

“If you’re not failing every now and then, it’s a sign you’re not doing anything innovative”, Woody Allen said.

It’s a classic “learn from your mistakes” rule, but in this case, it implies growing from negative experiences. Make peace with your negativities and embrace beauty and ugliness alike! Accepting this marvellously complex world just as it is will allow you to find purpose in adversity and meaning in misery.

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2. Find Balance, Regain Control

Still, accepting adversity is only the first step toward eventual victory. One can endure only so much trauma in life; if we’re not prepared to deal with difficulties in a productive way, even the minor setbacks can get us off track. Our strengths come from learning, and the best way to learn is through a series of trials and errors. Just like phases of grief or stages of drug addiction, adversities suggest a disabling loss of control, so find your way to regain it.

Some call it the coping mechanism; for others, it’s a spiritual will. However you choose to name yours, know that not all supporting systems are equally beneficial, though each is effective in its own way. Escapism was mine, but it only helped me retain the illusion of beauty. It wasn’t until I opened up toward the ugliness and accepted the naked truth that I was finally free. Whether you choose to dwell in art, religion and spiritualism, thus feeding your resilience from within or to reach out to others for help, choose wisely.

Whatever the means, the second rule is a golden one: find your inner balance and stick to it. Eventually, it will lead you out of the vicious circle.

3. Fight with Patience

My bargaining turned in depression with a single touch. Fearless and free, my dance instructor timidly put her hands on my shoulders and I realized, for the first time, just how tense, stiff and cloistered I was. And just like that, I started letting go. Adversities have their sneaky ways, but in my experience, becoming aware is what hurts the worst. It took me a year to recover from this little moment of self-discovery, and I know remember it as the edge of the rabbit hole.

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Some sufferings are impossible to console; I know that now. The only way to get through is to, well, get through. Depression and despair are only the beginning of the excruciatingly unnerving process that ravages the mind and shrivels the soul, and once they strike, there is no easy way back. So, fight them with patience. When your head starts spinning and your feet lose ground, go to your happy place. Over there, you’ll be reminded that nothing is forever, not even our little existential psychosis.

Take a deep breath and say “om”. When things cannot be combated, they have to be endured, so practice patience and learn to let go. Finally, keep repeating to yourself that this too shall pass.

4. Keep Swimming

Nothing is impossible, in the end. Your negative thoughts will gently pour into your positive ones, just as two streams come together to become a river. In the event of the inevitable disaster, one can only be as calm as still water. Suffering teaches patience, and the latter gives rise to flexibility. Ultimately, what is life than a series of unfortunate events and a handful of bright moments in between? If adversities are impossible to avoid, than learn to glide through as smoothly and patiently as water does with rocks.

Even if spirituality isn’t exactly your cup of tea, you have to admit that this is one solid metaphor. Staying adaptable in the face of change will soothe your panic attacks and keep you sane and sober-blooded. Even if you fail, you’ll know exactly how to breathe and face what’s in front of you once it eventually strikes again. Stay calm and visualize a better tomorrow; if anything else, it will give you strength to dive deep and weather the storm. And, in case there’s somebody’s hand to reach out to, grab it firmly and don’t let go.

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Being flexible against adversities takes a lot of learning, just as staying brave demands a lot of courage. It’s a long, arduous step-by-step routine, and you can reach the end only by swimming on. Persist, even when you fall.

5. Never Stop Searching for Inspiration

And, if it’s a guidance you need, where else to seek it than in experiences of others? Find it in art, in people around you, in chance encounters. The pure beauty of perseverance can be discovered where you expect it the least, so never stop searching for inspiration. If self-help literature soothes your pains and clears your mind, don’t let cynics discourage you. Your path toward reconciliation is nobody’s but yours to choose.

Ever heard of Nick Vujicic? Or Nando Parado? Inspiring people sound their yawps over the roofs of the world, sometimes voiceless, sometimes limbless, sometimes both. Born without arms, Jessica Cox became the most unusual certified pilot in the world, and you can rarely see her without a smile on her face. If you’ve already ripped all of your bucket lists and said goodbye to your dreams and plans, meet Sean Swarner, who’s officially became the first cancer survivor to climb Mount Everest. The stories just go on.

Make your own guidebook! Pen down your positive thoughts, cover your walls with quotes and devise your personal mantras. Whenever things get hard, they’ll be there to remind you of what you need to do. It’s the simplest of all life hacks, and one of the most effective ones.

Find beauty in the world, but never stay blind for its ugliness. However daunting, adversities and emotional pain challenge our inner strength, thus making us resilient and allowing us to grow. As soon as you recognize them as the wind in your sails instead of the devastating storm, the purpose will become simple and clear.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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