Advertising
Advertising

10 Things To Stop Doing Before Entering A New Relationship

10 Things To Stop Doing Before Entering A New Relationship

Finding love again can be an exciting experience. But, there is always a chance that you’re not ready. Repeating old habits can put your intimacy at risk. Want a happy and healthy union? Here are 10 things you need to stop doing before starting a new relationship.

1. Lying or cleverly evading the truth.

Lies, secretiveness and evasiveness demonstrate you don’t respect your partner. Some omissions may seem harmless to you, but can erode trust. No one wants to be kept in the dark about their relationship, or worse, hear the truth through the grapevine.

Advertising

2. Fighting for the number 1 spot.

If you can’t imagine sharing the spotlight, then you are not ready for a new relationship. If the thought of having to consider a different viewpoint is overwhelming, you might be better off single. The root of a strong relationship is generosity.

3. Thinking you must always have the last word.

Arguments do not always have a clear winner, and not every topic requires a debate. Sometimes, it’s okay to let it go. A certain topic may ignite you and you may overreact. But, it is often more beneficial to drop the subject – rather than offending your partner by trying to make them agree.

Advertising

4. Not knowing how to apologize.

Acknowledging when you’ve hurt someone else is very important. Saying ”I’m sorry” may seem weak to some, but it’s a powerful act that expresses empathy. Don’t ignore the power of empathy and humility in the context of a successful relationship.

5. Ignoring boundaries.

Just because you are in a relationship, or even living together, doesn’t mean that you have the right to violate your lover physically or emotionally. It’s important to discuss comfortable boundaries for each of you. Each party should have a voice that is honored in the relationship. Learn to compromise and stop trying to have it your way all the time.

Advertising

6. Treating your lover like competition.

Your lover is not your competitor, or enemy. Drop the rivalry, and ask yourself why you feel the need to compete. You may be hanging on to past slights from other relationships, or have unresolved issues in your current relationship. Identify why you are feeling aggressive, so you can’t let it go. An ideal relationship is one where there is a true partnership.

7. Snooping.

If you start playing detective, this is a sign of trouble. Snooping is a hurtful intrusion that can damage your relationship beyond repair. If you have proof that something is awry, it may be time to seek out a counselor – or end the relationship. You could have a hard time trusting others and not be ready for a relationship. Counseling can help you work through your trust issues and past trauma.

Advertising

8. Gossiping.

Talking bad about your partner does not create trust, love, or a lasting connection. If you can’t be loyal, you should ask yourself whether you even want to be in a relationship. Gossiping about your partner will only come back to haunt you. They could find out what you have said and decide to end the relationship. Refrain from sharing intimate details in order to give your love a chance.

9. Hating yourself.

If you are passive-aggressive, negative and insecure, you are not ready for a relationship. If you are only in a relationship for the sex, attention and validation, you are not ready for true love. Give yourself the love you want and need, before seeking acceptance from another person. A relationship should not be your only source of validation.

10. Being someone you’re not.

If you are pursuing relationships that require you to be someone you are not, abort now. If you are lying about your income, career, education, background, skills, or interests, you are not being authentic. You are assuming another identity and acting out a scene from a movie that you wish you starred in. A healthy relationship requires you to peel away your masks and get real. If you can’t accept whose underneath, you can’t expect others to.

Featured photo credit: FireFliesWaltz via flickr.com

More by this author

12 Ways Your Passive-Aggressiveness Is Slowly Killing Your Relationships Tiny Houses Built in Portland & Austin To Welcome The Homeless Here is a Useful Online Tool to Help You Steep Perfect Tea Big Brother Is Watching You Online: How To Avoid Being Tracked by Asli Omur | Image via CC, kennymatic Big Brother Is Watching You Online: How To Avoid Being Tracked Relationships | Ameotoko 10 Things To Stop Doing Before Entering A New Relationship

Trending in Communication

1 How to Practice Positive Thinking And Change Your Life 2 12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life 3 What Makes a Good Leader? 10 Essential Leadership Qualities 4 How Not to Be Boring (And Start to Be More Interesting) 5 11 Tips for Maintaining Your Positive Attitude

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on September 12, 2019

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

Even the most charismatic people you know, whether in person or celebrities of some sort, experience days where they feel lost in life and isolated from everyone else.

While it’s good to know we aren’t alone in this feeling, the question still remains:

What should we do when we feel lost and lonely?

Here are 12 things to remember:

1. Recognize That It’s Okay!

The truth is, there are times you need to be alone. If you’ve always been accustomed to being in contact with people, this may prove difficult.

However, learning how to be alone and comfortable in your own skin will give you confidence and a sense of self reliance.

We cheat ourselves out of the opportunity to become self reliant when we look for constant companionship.

Learn how to embrace your me time: What Your Fear of Being Alone Is Really About and How to Get over It

Advertising

2. Use Your Lost and Loneliness as a Self-Directing Guide

You’ve most likely heard the expression: “You have to know where you’ve been to know where you’re going.”

Loneliness also serves as a life signal to indicate you’re in search of something. It’s when we’re in the midst of solitude that answers come from true soul searching.

Remember, there is more to life than what you’re feeling.

3. Realize Loneliness Helps You Face the Truth

Being in the constant company of others, although comforting sometimes, can often serve as a distraction when we need to face the reality of a situation.

Solitude cuts straight to the chase and forces you to deal with the problem at hand. See it as a blessing that can serve as a catalyst to set things right!

4. Be Aware That You Have More Control Than You Think

Typically, when we see ourselves as being lost or lonely, it gives us an excuse to view everything we come in contact with in a negative light. It lends itself to putting ourselves in the victim mode, when the truth of the matter is that you choose your attitude in every situation.

No one can force a feeling upon you! It is YOU who has the ultimate say as to how you choose to react.

5. Embrace the Freedom That the Feeling of Being Alone Can Offer

Instead of wallowing in self pity, which many are prone to do because of loneliness, try looking at your circumstance as a new-found freedom.

Advertising

Most people are in constant need of approval of their viewpoints. Try enjoying the fact that  you don’t need everyone you care about to support your decisions.

6. Acknowledge the Person You Are Now

Perhaps you feel a sense of loneliness and confusion because your life circumstances have taken you away from the persona that others know to be you.

Perhaps the new you differs radically from the old. Realize that life is about change and how we react to that change. It’s okay that you’re not who you used to be.

Take a look at this article and learn to accept your imperfect self: Accept Yourself (Flaws and All): 7 Benefits of Being Vulnerable

7. Keep Striving to Do Your Best

Often those who are feeling isolated and unto themselves will develop a defeatist attitude. They’ll do substandard work because their self esteem is low and they don’t care.

Never let this feeling take away your sense of worth! Do your best always and when you come through this dark time, others will admire how you stayed determined in spite of the obstacles you had to overcome.

And to live your best life, you must do this ONE thing: step out of your comfort zone.

8. Don’t Forget That Time Is Precious

When we’re lost in a sea of loneliness and depression, it’s all too easy to reflect on regrets of past life events. This does nothing but feed negativity and perpetuate the situation.

Advertising

Instead of falling prey to this common pitfall, put one foot in front of the other and acknowledge every positive step you take. By doing this, you can celebrate the struggles you overcome at the end of the day.

9. Remember, Things Happen for a Reason

Every circumstance we encounter in our life is designed to teach us and that lesson is in turn passed on to others.

Sometimes we’re fortunate enough to figure out the lesson to be learned, while other times, we simply need to have faith that if the lesson wasn’t meant directly for us to learn from, how we handled it was observed by someone who needed to learn.

Your solitude and feeling of lost, in this instance, although painful possibly, may be teaching someone else.

10. Journal During This Time

Record your thoughts when you’re at the height of loneliness and feeling lost. You’ll be amazed when you reflect back at how you viewed things at the time and how far you’ve come later.

This time (if recorded) can give you a keen insight into who you are and what makes you feel the way you feel.

11. Remember You Aren’t the First to Feel This Way

It’s quite common to feel as if we’re alone and no one else has ever felt this way before. We think this because at the time of our distress, we’re silently observing others around us who are seemingly fine in every way.

The truth is, we can’t possibly know the struggles of those around us unless they elect to share them. We ALL have known this pain!

Advertising

Try confiding in someone you trust and ask them how they deal with these feelings when they experienced it. You may be surprised at what you learn.

12. Ask for Help If the Problem Persists

The feeling of being lost and lonely is common to everyone, but typically it will last for a relatively short period of time.

Most people will confess to, at one time or another, being in a “funk.” But if the problem persists longer than you feel it should, don’t ignore it.

When your ability to reason and consider things rationally becomes impaired, do not poo poo the problem away and think it isn’t worthy of attention. Seek medical help.

Afraid to ask for help? Here’s how to change your outlook to aim high!

Final Thoughts

Loneliness and a sense of feeling lost can in many ways be extremely painful and difficult to deal with at best. However, these feelings can also serve as a catalyst for change in our lives if we acknowledge them and act.

Above anything, cherish your mental well being and don’t underestimate its worth. Seek professional guidance if you’re unable to distinguish between a sense of freedom for yourself and a sense of despair.

More About Finding Yourself

Featured photo credit: Andrew Neel via unsplash.com

Read Next