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10 Things To Stop Doing Before Entering A New Relationship

10 Things To Stop Doing Before Entering A New Relationship

Finding love again can be an exciting experience. But, there is always a chance that you’re not ready. Repeating old habits can put your intimacy at risk. Want a happy and healthy union? Here are 10 things you need to stop doing before starting a new relationship.

1. Lying or cleverly evading the truth.

Lies, secretiveness and evasiveness demonstrate you don’t respect your partner. Some omissions may seem harmless to you, but can erode trust. No one wants to be kept in the dark about their relationship, or worse, hear the truth through the grapevine.

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2. Fighting for the number 1 spot.

If you can’t imagine sharing the spotlight, then you are not ready for a new relationship. If the thought of having to consider a different viewpoint is overwhelming, you might be better off single. The root of a strong relationship is generosity.

3. Thinking you must always have the last word.

Arguments do not always have a clear winner, and not every topic requires a debate. Sometimes, it’s okay to let it go. A certain topic may ignite you and you may overreact. But, it is often more beneficial to drop the subject – rather than offending your partner by trying to make them agree.

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4. Not knowing how to apologize.

Acknowledging when you’ve hurt someone else is very important. Saying ”I’m sorry” may seem weak to some, but it’s a powerful act that expresses empathy. Don’t ignore the power of empathy and humility in the context of a successful relationship.

5. Ignoring boundaries.

Just because you are in a relationship, or even living together, doesn’t mean that you have the right to violate your lover physically or emotionally. It’s important to discuss comfortable boundaries for each of you. Each party should have a voice that is honored in the relationship. Learn to compromise and stop trying to have it your way all the time.

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6. Treating your lover like competition.

Your lover is not your competitor, or enemy. Drop the rivalry, and ask yourself why you feel the need to compete. You may be hanging on to past slights from other relationships, or have unresolved issues in your current relationship. Identify why you are feeling aggressive, so you can’t let it go. An ideal relationship is one where there is a true partnership.

7. Snooping.

If you start playing detective, this is a sign of trouble. Snooping is a hurtful intrusion that can damage your relationship beyond repair. If you have proof that something is awry, it may be time to seek out a counselor – or end the relationship. You could have a hard time trusting others and not be ready for a relationship. Counseling can help you work through your trust issues and past trauma.

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8. Gossiping.

Talking bad about your partner does not create trust, love, or a lasting connection. If you can’t be loyal, you should ask yourself whether you even want to be in a relationship. Gossiping about your partner will only come back to haunt you. They could find out what you have said and decide to end the relationship. Refrain from sharing intimate details in order to give your love a chance.

9. Hating yourself.

If you are passive-aggressive, negative and insecure, you are not ready for a relationship. If you are only in a relationship for the sex, attention and validation, you are not ready for true love. Give yourself the love you want and need, before seeking acceptance from another person. A relationship should not be your only source of validation.

10. Being someone you’re not.

If you are pursuing relationships that require you to be someone you are not, abort now. If you are lying about your income, career, education, background, skills, or interests, you are not being authentic. You are assuming another identity and acting out a scene from a movie that you wish you starred in. A healthy relationship requires you to peel away your masks and get real. If you can’t accept whose underneath, you can’t expect others to.

Featured photo credit: FireFliesWaltz via flickr.com

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Last Updated on September 20, 2018

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

What do I want to do with my life? It’s a question all of us think about at one point or another.

For some, the answer comes easily. For others, it takes a lifetime to figure out.

It’s easy to just go through the motions and continue to do what’s comfortable and familiar. But for those of you who seek fulfillment, who want to do more, these questions will help you paint a clearer picture of what you want to do with your life.

1. What are the things I’m most passionate about?

The first step to living a more fulfilling life is to think about the things that you’re passionate about.

What do you love? What fulfills you? What “work” do you do that doesn’t feel like work? Maybe you enjoy writing, maybe you love working with animals or maybe you have a knack for photography.

The point is, figure out what you love doing, then do more of it.

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2. What are my greatest accomplishments in life so far?

Think about your past experiences and the things in your life you’re most proud of.

How did those accomplishments make you feel? Pretty darn good, right? So why not try and emulate those experiences and feelings?

If you ran a marathon once and loved the feeling you had afterwards, start training for another one. If your child grew up to be a star athlete or musician because of your teachings, then be a coach or mentor for other kids.

Continue to do the things that have been most fulfilling for you.

3. If my life had absolutely no limits, what would I choose to have and what would I choose to do?

Here’s a cool exercise: Think about what you would do if you had no limits.

If you had all the money and time in the world, where would you go? What would you do? Who would you spend time with?

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These answers can help you figure out what you want to do with your life. It doesn’t mean you need millions of dollars to be happy though.

What it does mean is answering these questions will help you set goals to reach certain milestones and create a path toward happiness and fulfillment. Which leads to our next question …

4. What are my goals in life?

Goals are a necessary component to set you up for a happy future. So answer these questions:

Once you figure out the answers to each of these, you’ll have a much better idea of what you should do with your life.

5. Whom do I admire most in the world?

Following the path of successful people can set you up for success.

Think about the people you respect and admire most. What are their best qualities? Why do you respect them? What can you learn from them?

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You’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.[1] So don’t waste your time with people who hold you back from achieving your dreams.

Spend more time with happy, successful, optimistic people and you’ll become one of them.

6. What do I not like to do?

An important part of figuring out what you want to do with your life is honestly assessing what you don’t want to do.

What are the things you despise? What bugs you the most about your current job?

Maybe you hate meetings even though you sit through 6 hours of them every day. If that’s the case, find a job where you can work more independently.

The point is, if you want something to change in your life, you need to take action. Which leads to our final question …

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7. How hard am I willing to work to get what I want?

Great accomplishments never come easy. If you want to do great things with your life, you’re going to have to make a great effort. That will probably mean putting in more hours the average person, getting outside your comfort zone and learning as much as you can to achieve as much as you can.

But here’s the cool part: it’s often the journey that is the most fulfilling part. It’s during these seemingly small, insignificant moments that you’ll often find that “aha” moments that helps you answer the question,

“What do I want to do with my life?”

So take the first step toward improving your life. You won’t regret it.

Featured photo credit: Andrew Ly via unsplash.com

Reference

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