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10 Things To Remember If You’re In A Long Distance Relationship

10 Things To Remember If You’re In A Long Distance Relationship

If you are in a good long distance relationship, there is an understanding between partners in which distance is just a number. It doesn’t know the language of hopelessness, distrust, and anxiousness. It knows only one language. The language of LOVE. The connection is deeper than the depth of an ocean and wider than the limitless sky. The partners are far from each other. But, their hearts always beat for each other.

Here are ten things to remember for a successful long distance relationship.

1. Clear out things

discuss

    We all have a tendency to jump at the conclusions without thinking about the consequences. “I heard that”, “Maybe you are right”, “What will happen, if this comes out to be true”, “I was also thinking about this”.

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    Delete all these words from your doubting dictionary. It’s better to seek out things by discussion. There is no need to assume anything. Discuss all the things openly to understand the whole matter in a broad manner.

    2. Remove all ego clashes

    In a relationship, no one is superior or inferior. While talking, analyze your behavior. Do not spoil the moment by showing your authority. Don’t waste your time on useless thoughts like “Who will take the initiative?” You will not become small by taking a step forward. Say everything to your loved ones by keeping aside your ego. Don’t suppress your true emotions.

    3. Don’t make lame excuses

    No Excuses

      Do not hurt your partner by saying things like “Baby, I couldn’t call you because I was too busy with my work”. Understand one simple thing: If you have the time to pick up the phone, you can make the call. It makes sense, doesn’t it?

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      So, don’t make lame excuses. We all have 24 hours in a day. No one is given any extra time. Instead of cursing your stiff routine, take out time for your loved ones.

      4. Respect each other’s social life

      Jealousy is not bad. It is a sweet expression of showing your love. But, excess of everything is bad. Are you getting irritated by seeing your partner’s photo with someone else on social networking sites on a regular basis? If yes, what is your next step?

      Do you call your partner and tell him or her to stay away from that person? If yes, it is high-time to understand the difference between  jealousy and an over-protecting attitude. Respect each other’s circle. Don’t disturb the social life of your partner. Do not cross the line and spoil your trust.

      5. End your conversations on a positive note

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      Positive Note

        How does it feel when end a call without clarifying the doubts? There is an incomplete feeling which can’t be explained in plain words. Your mind asks several questions.The whole day becomes very dull.

        As a result, you create a dump of negative thoughts. It’s better to end the conversation when you’re both on the same page. So, end your topic on a positive note which leaves behind a smile on each other’s face.

        6. Talk naughty things

        When it comes to long-distance relationships, the couples are not able to fulfill their sexual desires. But, you can enjoy the process by exchanging naughty messages. While chatting online, share your dirty secrets and wild fantasies. If you are not comfortable in taking off your clothes, play a visual game. Close your eyes and visualize any steamy scene by exchanging all the seductive words.

        7. Involve yourself in productive things

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        Productive Things

          Do you miss your loved ones? This feeling activates more when you watch love videos or couples on the streets. It is a natural outcome. There is nothing bad about it. But, it must not make you feel terrible and insecure. Whenever you’re missing your love, write down your present emotional status about them.

          You will definitely feel better. Create something for them. And, give this thing in your next physical visit. This gift has more value than any expensive gifts because it is coated with your true emotions.

          8. Share everything

          Don’t hide anything. As love is a union of two souls, you must share each and everything. How does it feel when you come to know about your partner’s problem by your friends and relatives? It breaks you apart because you feel worthless. So, share your personal life problems with your loved ones. Don’t feel odd for burdening the partner with your problems. In this way, you will make them feel more special. Sharing is a wonderful thing

          9. Make Surprise Visits

          Surprise Visits

            In the age of music players which are pre-loaded with favorite songs, FM channels are still in the business. Do you know the reason? We love to hear random music. There is always an anticipation for the next song. And, when your favorite music comes on, you enjoy it more. If a single song can make you feel happy, you can imagine the expression of your loved one on a surprise visit.

            10. Use the power of the Internet

            Take online classes together. Play online games together. Read your favorite books and read it aloud to each other. Do online shopping together and chose an item for your partner by asking their preferences. Show your love by sending sweet letters. Enjoy a movie together. Share your lovely moments of the day. Use Skype to stay in touch anytime. Order food online for you and your partner and enjoy the meal together.

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            Yatin Khulbe

            Positivity Advocate

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            Published on May 4, 2021

            How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

            How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

            They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

            In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

            How to Spot Fake People?

            When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

            Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

            1. Full of Themselves

            Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

            Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

            2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

            Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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            It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

            3. Zero Self-Reflection

            To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

            Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

            4. Unrealistic Perceptions

            Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

            A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

            5. Love Attention

            As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

            6. People Pleaser

            Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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            Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

            7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

            Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

            8. Crappy friend

            Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

            It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

            The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

            How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

            It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

            There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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            1. Boundaries

            Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

            2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

            Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

            3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

            If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

            4. Ask for Advice

            If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

            Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

            5. Dig Deeper

            Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

            Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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            6. Practice Self-Care!

            Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

            Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

            Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

            Final Thoughts

            Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

            We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

            More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

            Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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