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10 Things To Remember If You’re In A Long Distance Relationship

10 Things To Remember If You’re In A Long Distance Relationship

If you are in a good long distance relationship, there is an understanding between partners in which distance is just a number. It doesn’t know the language of hopelessness, distrust, and anxiousness. It knows only one language. The language of LOVE. The connection is deeper than the depth of an ocean and wider than the limitless sky. The partners are far from each other. But, their hearts always beat for each other.

Here are ten things to remember for a successful long distance relationship.

1. Clear out things

discuss

    We all have a tendency to jump at the conclusions without thinking about the consequences. “I heard that”, “Maybe you are right”, “What will happen, if this comes out to be true”, “I was also thinking about this”.

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    Delete all these words from your doubting dictionary. It’s better to seek out things by discussion. There is no need to assume anything. Discuss all the things openly to understand the whole matter in a broad manner.

    2. Remove all ego clashes

    In a relationship, no one is superior or inferior. While talking, analyze your behavior. Do not spoil the moment by showing your authority. Don’t waste your time on useless thoughts like “Who will take the initiative?” You will not become small by taking a step forward. Say everything to your loved ones by keeping aside your ego. Don’t suppress your true emotions.

    3. Don’t make lame excuses

    No Excuses

      Do not hurt your partner by saying things like “Baby, I couldn’t call you because I was too busy with my work”. Understand one simple thing: If you have the time to pick up the phone, you can make the call. It makes sense, doesn’t it?

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      So, don’t make lame excuses. We all have 24 hours in a day. No one is given any extra time. Instead of cursing your stiff routine, take out time for your loved ones.

      4. Respect each other’s social life

      Jealousy is not bad. It is a sweet expression of showing your love. But, excess of everything is bad. Are you getting irritated by seeing your partner’s photo with someone else on social networking sites on a regular basis? If yes, what is your next step?

      Do you call your partner and tell him or her to stay away from that person? If yes, it is high-time to understand the difference between  jealousy and an over-protecting attitude. Respect each other’s circle. Don’t disturb the social life of your partner. Do not cross the line and spoil your trust.

      5. End your conversations on a positive note

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      Positive Note

        How does it feel when end a call without clarifying the doubts? There is an incomplete feeling which can’t be explained in plain words. Your mind asks several questions.The whole day becomes very dull.

        As a result, you create a dump of negative thoughts. It’s better to end the conversation when you’re both on the same page. So, end your topic on a positive note which leaves behind a smile on each other’s face.

        6. Talk naughty things

        When it comes to long-distance relationships, the couples are not able to fulfill their sexual desires. But, you can enjoy the process by exchanging naughty messages. While chatting online, share your dirty secrets and wild fantasies. If you are not comfortable in taking off your clothes, play a visual game. Close your eyes and visualize any steamy scene by exchanging all the seductive words.

        7. Involve yourself in productive things

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        Productive Things

          Do you miss your loved ones? This feeling activates more when you watch love videos or couples on the streets. It is a natural outcome. There is nothing bad about it. But, it must not make you feel terrible and insecure. Whenever you’re missing your love, write down your present emotional status about them.

          You will definitely feel better. Create something for them. And, give this thing in your next physical visit. This gift has more value than any expensive gifts because it is coated with your true emotions.

          8. Share everything

          Don’t hide anything. As love is a union of two souls, you must share each and everything. How does it feel when you come to know about your partner’s problem by your friends and relatives? It breaks you apart because you feel worthless. So, share your personal life problems with your loved ones. Don’t feel odd for burdening the partner with your problems. In this way, you will make them feel more special. Sharing is a wonderful thing

          9. Make Surprise Visits

          Surprise Visits

            In the age of music players which are pre-loaded with favorite songs, FM channels are still in the business. Do you know the reason? We love to hear random music. There is always an anticipation for the next song. And, when your favorite music comes on, you enjoy it more. If a single song can make you feel happy, you can imagine the expression of your loved one on a surprise visit.

            10. Use the power of the Internet

            Take online classes together. Play online games together. Read your favorite books and read it aloud to each other. Do online shopping together and chose an item for your partner by asking their preferences. Show your love by sending sweet letters. Enjoy a movie together. Share your lovely moments of the day. Use Skype to stay in touch anytime. Order food online for you and your partner and enjoy the meal together.

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            Yatin Khulbe

            Positivity Advocate

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            Last Updated on March 30, 2020

            What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

            What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

            Have you ever walked into a room and felt like your nerves simply couldn’t handle it? Your heart beats fast, you start to sweat, and you feel like all eyes are on you (even if they’re really not). This is just one of the many ways that being self-conscious can rear its ugly head.

            You may not even realize you’re self-conscious, and you may be wondering, “What does self-conscious mean?” That’s a good place to start.

            This article will define self-consciousness, show how practically everyone has faced it at one point or another, and give you tips to avoid it.

            What Does Self-Conscious Mean?

            According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, self-conscious is defined as “conscious of one’s own acts or states as belonging to or originating in oneself.”[1]

            Not so bad, right? There’s another definition, though — one that speaks more to what you’re going through: “feeling uncomfortably conscious of oneself as an object of the observation of others.” For those of us who regularly deal with extreme self-consciousness, that second definition sounds about right.

            There are many different ways self-consciousness can spring up. You may feel self-conscious around people you know, like your family members or closest friends. You may feel self-conscious at work, even though you spend hours every week around your co-workers. Or you may feel self-conscious when out in public and surrounded by strangers. However, you probably don’t feel self-conscious when you’re home alone.

            How to Stop Being Too Self-Conscious

            When you’re in the throes of self-consciousness, it’s nearly impossible to remember how to stop feeling that way. That’s why it’s so important to prepare ahead of time, when you’re feeling ready to tackle the problem instead of succumbing to it.

            Here are a variety of ways to feel better about yourself and stop thinking about how others see you.

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            1. Ask Yourself, “So What?”

            One way to banish negative, self-conscious thoughts is to do just that: banish them.

            The next time you walk into a room and feel your face getting red, think to yourself, “So what?” How much does it really matter if people don’t like how you look or act? What’s the worst that could happen?

            Most of the time, you’ll find that you don’t have a good answer to this question. Then, you can immediately start assigning such thoughts less importance. With self-awareness, you can acknowledge that your negative thoughts are present and realize that you don’t agree with them.[2] They’re just thoughts, after all.

            2. Be Honest

            A lie that self-consciousness might tell is that there’s one way to act or feel. Honestly, though, everyone else is just figuring life out as well. There isn’t a preferred way to show up to an event, gathering, or public place. What you can do is be honest with your feelings and thoughts.[3]

            If you feel offended by something someone says, you don’t have to smile to be polite or laugh to fit in with the crowd. Instead, you can politely say why you disagree or excuse yourself and find a group of people who you relate to better. If you’re nervous, don’t overcompensate by trying to look relaxed and casual — it’ll be obvious you’re putting on a front. Instead, nothing is more endearing than saying, “I’m a little nervous!” to a room of people who probably feel the exact same way.

            On the same note, if you don’t understand why someone wants you to do something, question it. You can do this at work, at home, or even with people you don’t know well. Nobody should force you to do something you don’t want to do.

            Also, even if you’re willing to do what’s asked of you, there’s nothing wrong with asking for more clarification. People will realize that you’re not a person to be bossed around.

            3. Understand Why You’re Struggling at Work

            Being self-conscious at work can get in the way of your daily responsibilities, your relationships with co-workers, and even your career as a whole. If you’re facing some sort of conflict but you’re too nervous to speak up, you may be at the whim of what happens to you instead of taking some control.

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            If you’re usually confident at work, you may be wondering where this new self-consciousness is coming from. It’s possible that you’re dealing with burnout.[4] Common signs are anxiety, fatigue and distraction, all of which can leave you feeling under-confident.

            4. Succeed at Something

            When you create success in your life, it’s easier to feel confident[5] and less self-conscious. If you feel self-conscious at work, finish the project that’s been looming over your head. If you feel self-conscious in the gym, complete an advanced workout class.

            Exposing yourself to what you’re scared of and then succeeding at it in some way (even just by finishing it) can do wonders for your self-esteem. The more confidence you build, the more likely you are to have more success in the future, which will create a cycle of confidence-building.

            5. Treat All of You — Not Just Your Self-Consciousness

            Trying to solve your self-consciousness alone may not treat the root of the problem. Instead, take a well-rounded approach to lower your self-consciousness and build confidence in areas where you may struggle.

            Even professional counselors are embracing this holistic type of treatment[6] because they feel that the health of the mind and body are inextricably linked. This approach combines physical, spiritual, and psychological components. Common activities and treatments include meditation, yoga, massage, and healthy changes to diet and exercise.

            If much of this is new to you, it will pay to give it a try. You never know how it will impact you.

            If you’re feeling self-conscious about how your body looks, a massage that makes you feel great could boost your confidence. If you try a new workout, you could have something exciting to talk about the next time you’re in a group setting.

            Putting yourself in a new situation and learning that you can get through it with grace can give you the confidence to get through all sorts of events and nerve-wracking moments.

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            6. Make the Changes That Are Within Your Control

            Let’s say you walk into a room and you’re self-conscious about how you look. However, you may have put a lot of time and effort into your outfit. Even though it may stand out, this is how you have chosen to express yourself.

            You have to work on your internal confidence, not your external appearance. There’s nothing to change other than your outlook.

            On the other hand, maybe there’s something that you don’t like about yourself that you can change. For example, maybe you hate how a birthmark on your face looks or have varicose veins that you think are unsightly. If you can do something about these things, do it! There’s nothing wrong with changing your appearance (or skills, education, etc.) if it’s going to make you more confident.

            You don’t have to accept your current situation for acceptance’s sake. There’s no award for putting up with something you hate. Confidence is also required to make changes that are scary, even if they’re for the better. Plus, it may be an easier fix than you thought. For example, treating varicose veins doesn’t have to involve surgery — sometimes simple compression stockings will take care of the problem.[7]

            7. Realize That Everyone Has Awkward Moments

            Everyone has said something awkward to someone else and lived to tell the tale. We’ve all forgotten somebody’s name or said, “You too!” when the concession stand girl says to enjoy our movie. Not only are these things uber-common, but they’re not nearly as embarrassing as you feel they are.

            Think about how you react when someone else does something awkward. Do you think, “Wow, that person’s such a loser!” or do you think, “What a relief, I’m not the only one who does that.” Chances are good that’s the same reaction others have to you when you stumble.

            Remember, self-consciousness is a state of mind that you have control over. You don’t have to feel this way. Do what you need to in order to build your confidence, put your self-consciousness in perspective, and start exercising your “I feel awesome about myself” muscle. It’ll get easier with time.

            When Is Being Self-Conscious a Good Thing?

            Self-consciousness can sometimes be a good thing[8], but you have to take the awkwardness and nerves out of it.

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            In this case, “self-aware” is a much better term. Knowing how you come off to people is an excellent trait; you’ll be able to read a room and understand how what you do and say affects others. These are fantastic skills for people work and personal relationships.

            Self-awareness helps you dress appropriately for the occasion, tells you that you’re talking too loud or not loud enough, and guides a conversation so you don’t offend or bore anyone.

            It’s not about being someone you’re not — that can actually have adverse effects, just like self-consciousness. Instead, it’s about turning up certain aspects of yourself to perform well in the situation.

            Final Thoughts

            When you’re self-conscious, you’re constantly battling with yourself in an effort to control how other people view you. You try to change yourself to suit what you think other people want to see.

            The truth, though, is that you can’t actually control how other people view you — and you may not even be correct about how they view you in the first place.

            Being confident doesn’t happen overnight. Instead, it happens in small steps as you slowly build your confidence and say “no” to your self-consciousness. It also requires accepting that you’re going to feel self-conscious sometimes, and that’s okay.

            Sometimes worrying that there is a problem can be more stressful than the problem itself. Feeling bad for feeling self-conscious can be more troublesome than simply feeling it and getting on with the day.

            Forgive yourself for being human and make the small changes that will lead to better confidence in the future.

            More Tips for Improving Your Self-Esteem

            Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

            Reference

            [1] Merriam-Webster: Self-conscious
            [2] Bustle: 7 Tips On How To Stop Feeling Self-Conscious
            [3] Marc and Angel: 10 Things to Remember When You Feel Unsure of Yourself
            [4] Bostitch: How to Protect Small Businesses From Burnout
            [5] Psychology Today: Self-conscious? Get Over It
            [6] Wake Forest University: Embracing Holistic Medicine
            [7] Center for Vein Restoration: What Causes Venous Ulcers, and How Are They Treated?
            [8] Scientific American: The Pros and Cons of Being Self-Aware

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