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10 Things To Remember If You’re In A Long Distance Relationship

10 Things To Remember If You’re In A Long Distance Relationship

If you are in a good long distance relationship, there is an understanding between partners in which distance is just a number. It doesn’t know the language of hopelessness, distrust, and anxiousness. It knows only one language. The language of LOVE. The connection is deeper than the depth of an ocean and wider than the limitless sky. The partners are far from each other. But, their hearts always beat for each other.

Here are ten things to remember for a successful long distance relationship.

1. Clear out things

discuss

    We all have a tendency to jump at the conclusions without thinking about the consequences. “I heard that”, “Maybe you are right”, “What will happen, if this comes out to be true”, “I was also thinking about this”.

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    Delete all these words from your doubting dictionary. It’s better to seek out things by discussion. There is no need to assume anything. Discuss all the things openly to understand the whole matter in a broad manner.

    2. Remove all ego clashes

    In a relationship, no one is superior or inferior. While talking, analyze your behavior. Do not spoil the moment by showing your authority. Don’t waste your time on useless thoughts like “Who will take the initiative?” You will not become small by taking a step forward. Say everything to your loved ones by keeping aside your ego. Don’t suppress your true emotions.

    3. Don’t make lame excuses

    No Excuses

      Do not hurt your partner by saying things like “Baby, I couldn’t call you because I was too busy with my work”. Understand one simple thing: If you have the time to pick up the phone, you can make the call. It makes sense, doesn’t it?

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      So, don’t make lame excuses. We all have 24 hours in a day. No one is given any extra time. Instead of cursing your stiff routine, take out time for your loved ones.

      4. Respect each other’s social life

      Jealousy is not bad. It is a sweet expression of showing your love. But, excess of everything is bad. Are you getting irritated by seeing your partner’s photo with someone else on social networking sites on a regular basis? If yes, what is your next step?

      Do you call your partner and tell him or her to stay away from that person? If yes, it is high-time to understand the difference between  jealousy and an over-protecting attitude. Respect each other’s circle. Don’t disturb the social life of your partner. Do not cross the line and spoil your trust.

      5. End your conversations on a positive note

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      Positive Note

        How does it feel when end a call without clarifying the doubts? There is an incomplete feeling which can’t be explained in plain words. Your mind asks several questions.The whole day becomes very dull.

        As a result, you create a dump of negative thoughts. It’s better to end the conversation when you’re both on the same page. So, end your topic on a positive note which leaves behind a smile on each other’s face.

        6. Talk naughty things

        When it comes to long-distance relationships, the couples are not able to fulfill their sexual desires. But, you can enjoy the process by exchanging naughty messages. While chatting online, share your dirty secrets and wild fantasies. If you are not comfortable in taking off your clothes, play a visual game. Close your eyes and visualize any steamy scene by exchanging all the seductive words.

        7. Involve yourself in productive things

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        Productive Things

          Do you miss your loved ones? This feeling activates more when you watch love videos or couples on the streets. It is a natural outcome. There is nothing bad about it. But, it must not make you feel terrible and insecure. Whenever you’re missing your love, write down your present emotional status about them.

          You will definitely feel better. Create something for them. And, give this thing in your next physical visit. This gift has more value than any expensive gifts because it is coated with your true emotions.

          8. Share everything

          Don’t hide anything. As love is a union of two souls, you must share each and everything. How does it feel when you come to know about your partner’s problem by your friends and relatives? It breaks you apart because you feel worthless. So, share your personal life problems with your loved ones. Don’t feel odd for burdening the partner with your problems. In this way, you will make them feel more special. Sharing is a wonderful thing

          9. Make Surprise Visits

          Surprise Visits

            In the age of music players which are pre-loaded with favorite songs, FM channels are still in the business. Do you know the reason? We love to hear random music. There is always an anticipation for the next song. And, when your favorite music comes on, you enjoy it more. If a single song can make you feel happy, you can imagine the expression of your loved one on a surprise visit.

            10. Use the power of the Internet

            Take online classes together. Play online games together. Read your favorite books and read it aloud to each other. Do online shopping together and chose an item for your partner by asking their preferences. Show your love by sending sweet letters. Enjoy a movie together. Share your lovely moments of the day. Use Skype to stay in touch anytime. Order food online for you and your partner and enjoy the meal together.

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            Yatin Khulbe

            Positivity Advocate

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            Last Updated on September 18, 2020

            13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

            13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

            For the original article by Celestine: 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

            “We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different.” ~Unknown

            “It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” – Hans Selye

            Have you ever experienced moments when things just don’t go your way? For example, losing your keys, accidentally spilling your drink, waking up late, missing your buses/trains, forgetting to bring your things, and so on?

            You’re not alone. All of us, myself included, experience times when things don’t go as we expect.

            Here is my guide on how to deal with daily setbacks.

            1. Take a step back and evaluate

            When something bad happens, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Some questions to ask yourself:

            1. What is the problem?
            2. Are you the only person facing this problem in the world today?
            3. How does this problem look like at an individual level? A national level? On a global scale?
            4. What’s the worst possible thing that can happen to you as a result of this?
            5. How is it going to impact your life in the next 1 year? 5 years? 10 years?

            Doing this exercise is not to undermine the problem or disclaiming responsibility, but to consider different perspectives, so you can adopt the best approach for it. Most problems we encounter daily may seem like huge issues when they crop up, but most, if not all, don’t have much impact in our life beyond that day.

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            2. Vent if you have to, but don’t linger on the problem

            If you feel very frustrated and need to let off some steam, go ahead and do that. Talk to a friend, complain, crib about it, or scream at the top of your lungs if it makes you happy.

            At the same time, don’t get caught up with venting. While venting may temporarily relieve yourself, it’s not going to solve the problem ultimately. You don’t want to be an energy vampire.

            Vent if there’s a need to, but do it for 15 to 20 minutes. Then move on.

            3. Realize there are others out there facing this too

            Even though the situation may be frustrating, you’re not alone. Remember there are almost 7 billion people in the world today, and chances are that other people have faced the same thing before too. Knowing it’s not just you helps you to get out of a self-victimizing mindset.

            4. Process your thoughts/emotions

            Process your thoughts/emotions with any of the four methods:

            1. Journal. Write your unhappiness in a private diary or in your blog. It doesn’t have to be formal at all – it can be a brain dump on rough paper or new word document. Delete after you are done.
            2. Audio taping. Record yourself as you talk out what’s on your mind. Tools include tape recorder, your PC (Audacity is a freeware for recording/editing audio) and your mobile (most mobiles today have audio recording functions). You can even use your voice mail for this. Just talking helps you to gain awareness of your emotions. After recording, play back and listen to what you said. You might find it quite revealing.
            3. Meditation. At its simplest form, meditation is just sitting/lying still and observing your reality as it is – including your thoughts and emotions. Some think that it involves some complex mambo-jumbo, but it doesn’t.
            4. Talking to someone. Talking about it with someone helps you work through the issue. It also gets you an alternate viewpoint and consider it from a different angle.

            5. Acknowledge your thoughts

            Don’t resist your thoughts, but acknowledge them. This includes both positive and negative thoughts.

            By acknowledging, I mean recognizing these thoughts exist. So if say, you have a thought that says, “Wow, I’m so stupid!”, acknowledge that. If you have a thought that says, “I can’t believe this is happening to me again”, acknowledge that as well.

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            Know that acknowledging the thoughts doesn’t mean you agree with them. It’s simply recognizing the existence of said thoughts so that you can stop resisting yourself and focus on the situation on hand.

            6. Give yourself a break

            If you’re very stressed out by the situation, and the problem is not time sensitive, then give yourself a break. Take a walk, listen to some music, watch a movie, or get some sleep. When you’re done, you should feel a lot more revitalized to deal with the situation.

            7. Uncover what you’re really upset about

            A lot of times, the anger we feel isn’t about the world. You may start off feeling angry at someone or something, but at the depth of it, it’s anger toward yourself.

            Uncover the root of your anger. I have written a five part anger management series on how to permanently overcome anger.

            After that, ask yourself: How can you improve the situation? Go to Step #9, where you define your actionable steps. Our anger comes from not having control on the situation. Sitting there and feeling infuriated is not going to change the situation. The more action we take, the more we will regain control over the situation, the better we will feel.

            8. See this as an obstacle to be overcome

            As Helen Keller once said,

            “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.”

            Whatever you’re facing right now, see it as an obstacle to be overcome. In every worthy endeavor, there’ll always be countless obstacles that emerge along the way. These obstacles are what separate the people who make it, and those who don’t. If you’re able to push through and overcome them, you’ll emerge a stronger person than before. It’ll be harder for anything to get you down in the future.

            9. Analyze the situation – Focus on actionable steps

            In every setback, there are going to be things that can’t be reversed since they have already occurred. You want to focus on things that can still be changed (salvageable) vs. things that have already happened and can’t be changed. The only time the situation changes is when you take steps to improve it. Rather than cry over spilt milk, work through your situation:

            1. What’s the situation?
            2. What’s stressing you about this situation?
            3. What are the next steps that’ll help you resolve them?
            4. Take action on your next steps!

            After you have identified your next steps, act on them. The key here is to focus on the actionable steps, not the inactionable steps. It’s about regaining control over the situation through direct action.

            10. Identify how it occurred (so it won’t occur again next time)

            A lot of times we react to our problems. The problem occurs, and we try to make the best out of what has happened within the context. While developing a healthy coping mechanism is important (which is what the other helping points are on), it’s also equally important, if not more, to understand how the problem arose. This way, you can work on preventing it from taking place next time, vs. dealing reactively with it.

            Most of us probably think the problem is outside of our control, but reality is most of the times it’s fully preventable. It’s just a matter of how much responsibility you take over the problem.

            For example, for someone who can’t get a cab for work in the morning, he/she may see the problem as a lack of cabs in the country, or bad luck. However, if you trace to the root of the problem, it’s probably more to do with (a) Having unrealistic expectations of the length of time to get a cab. He/she should budget more time for waiting for a cab next time. (b) Oversleeping, because he/she was too tired from working late the previous day. He/she should allocate enough time for rest next time. He/she should also pick up better time management skills, so as to finish work in lesser time.

            11. Realize the situation can be a lot worse

            No matter how bad the situation is, it can always be much worse. A plus point vs. negative point analysis will help you realize that.

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            12. Do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it

            No matter how bad your situation may seem, do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it. Life is too beautiful to worry so much over daily issues. Take a step back (#1), give yourself a break if you need to (#6), and do what you can within your means (#9). Everything else will unfold accordingly. Worrying too much about the outcome isn’t going to change things or make your life any better.

            13. Pick out the learning points from the encounter

            There’s something to learn from every encounter. What have you learned from this situation? What lessons have you taken away?

            After you identify your learning points, think about how you’re going to apply them moving forward. With this, you’ve clearly gained something from this encounter. You’ve walked away a stronger, wiser, better person, with more life lessons to draw from in the future.

            Get the manifesto version of this article: [Manifesto] What To Do When Things Don’t Go Your Way

            Featured photo credit: Alice Donovan Rouse via unsplash.com

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