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10 Things To Remember If You’re In A Long Distance Relationship

10 Things To Remember If You’re In A Long Distance Relationship

If you are in a good long distance relationship, there is an understanding between partners in which distance is just a number. It doesn’t know the language of hopelessness, distrust, and anxiousness. It knows only one language. The language of LOVE. The connection is deeper than the depth of an ocean and wider than the limitless sky. The partners are far from each other. But, their hearts always beat for each other.

Here are ten things to remember for a successful long distance relationship.

1. Clear out things

discuss

    We all have a tendency to jump at the conclusions without thinking about the consequences. “I heard that”, “Maybe you are right”, “What will happen, if this comes out to be true”, “I was also thinking about this”.

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    Delete all these words from your doubting dictionary. It’s better to seek out things by discussion. There is no need to assume anything. Discuss all the things openly to understand the whole matter in a broad manner.

    2. Remove all ego clashes

    In a relationship, no one is superior or inferior. While talking, analyze your behavior. Do not spoil the moment by showing your authority. Don’t waste your time on useless thoughts like “Who will take the initiative?” You will not become small by taking a step forward. Say everything to your loved ones by keeping aside your ego. Don’t suppress your true emotions.

    3. Don’t make lame excuses

    No Excuses

      Do not hurt your partner by saying things like “Baby, I couldn’t call you because I was too busy with my work”. Understand one simple thing: If you have the time to pick up the phone, you can make the call. It makes sense, doesn’t it?

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      So, don’t make lame excuses. We all have 24 hours in a day. No one is given any extra time. Instead of cursing your stiff routine, take out time for your loved ones.

      4. Respect each other’s social life

      Jealousy is not bad. It is a sweet expression of showing your love. But, excess of everything is bad. Are you getting irritated by seeing your partner’s photo with someone else on social networking sites on a regular basis? If yes, what is your next step?

      Do you call your partner and tell him or her to stay away from that person? If yes, it is high-time to understand the difference between  jealousy and an over-protecting attitude. Respect each other’s circle. Don’t disturb the social life of your partner. Do not cross the line and spoil your trust.

      5. End your conversations on a positive note

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      Positive Note

        How does it feel when end a call without clarifying the doubts? There is an incomplete feeling which can’t be explained in plain words. Your mind asks several questions.The whole day becomes very dull.

        As a result, you create a dump of negative thoughts. It’s better to end the conversation when you’re both on the same page. So, end your topic on a positive note which leaves behind a smile on each other’s face.

        6. Talk naughty things

        When it comes to long-distance relationships, the couples are not able to fulfill their sexual desires. But, you can enjoy the process by exchanging naughty messages. While chatting online, share your dirty secrets and wild fantasies. If you are not comfortable in taking off your clothes, play a visual game. Close your eyes and visualize any steamy scene by exchanging all the seductive words.

        7. Involve yourself in productive things

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        Productive Things

          Do you miss your loved ones? This feeling activates more when you watch love videos or couples on the streets. It is a natural outcome. There is nothing bad about it. But, it must not make you feel terrible and insecure. Whenever you’re missing your love, write down your present emotional status about them.

          You will definitely feel better. Create something for them. And, give this thing in your next physical visit. This gift has more value than any expensive gifts because it is coated with your true emotions.

          8. Share everything

          Don’t hide anything. As love is a union of two souls, you must share each and everything. How does it feel when you come to know about your partner’s problem by your friends and relatives? It breaks you apart because you feel worthless. So, share your personal life problems with your loved ones. Don’t feel odd for burdening the partner with your problems. In this way, you will make them feel more special. Sharing is a wonderful thing

          9. Make Surprise Visits

          Surprise Visits

            In the age of music players which are pre-loaded with favorite songs, FM channels are still in the business. Do you know the reason? We love to hear random music. There is always an anticipation for the next song. And, when your favorite music comes on, you enjoy it more. If a single song can make you feel happy, you can imagine the expression of your loved one on a surprise visit.

            10. Use the power of the Internet

            Take online classes together. Play online games together. Read your favorite books and read it aloud to each other. Do online shopping together and chose an item for your partner by asking their preferences. Show your love by sending sweet letters. Enjoy a movie together. Share your lovely moments of the day. Use Skype to stay in touch anytime. Order food online for you and your partner and enjoy the meal together.

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            Yatin Khulbe

            Positivity Advocate

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            Last Updated on May 21, 2019

            How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

            How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

            For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

            If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

            Example 1

            You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

            You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

            In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

            Example 2

            You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

            People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

            You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

            Example 3

            You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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            The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

            Example 4

            You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

            Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

            If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

            Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

            • Understand your own communication style
            • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
            • Communicate with precision and care
            • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

            1. Understand Your Communication Style

            To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

            In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

            Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

            2. Learn Others Communication Styles

            Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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            If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

            “How do you prefer to receive information?”

            This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

            To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

            3. Exercise Precision and Care

            A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

            On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

            Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

            I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

            I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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            In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

            The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

            Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

            4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

            Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

            In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

            “Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

            Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

            Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

            It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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            It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

            It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

            Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

            Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

            The Bottom Line

            When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

            I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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            Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

            Reference

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