Advertising
Advertising

10 Things To Remember When Dealing With Depression

10 Things To Remember When Dealing With Depression

There is no start or end date for depression. You find yourself unraveling until you’re in too deep. However, you can learn to live with depression in a whole-hearted way with dignity. Here are a few things to remember:

1. It’s OK To Do Nothing

One of the most persistent feelings of depression is guilt. You feel guilty that you’re depressed, inconveniencing others, can’t hold a job, have no friends, and so on. Guilt will take over your feelings. You will feel trapped in your head. Let it all go. Don’t push yourself. Keep your activities small, light, and close-ended. You don’t need to “get out of the house” everyday. Stay still and listen.

Advertising

2. Somebody’s Dog Needs Walking

Eventually, you may need to get out of the house. Even, if only once a week. Walking a neighbor’s dog is one of the most therapeutic ways to get some sun, Vitamin D, and feel okay. It may just take 20 minutes but it will make a big difference.

3. Put On Your Shoes

This is by far the hardest, especially on the weekends without the demand of work. Putting on your shoes is symbolic. It says you’re ready for anything. It represents movement even if it’s from the couch to the kitchen. You may notice that with your shoes on you get ideas to take a walk, sit on the porch, or maybe go grocery shopping. It helps.

Advertising

4. Join Support Groups

Dailystrength.com has several support groups for Depression. Find the right forum, introduce yourself, share your rants, connect with others, and decompress. Helping someone else out there about how you feel can help you.

5. It’s Supposed To Hurt

Feel the pain. Drugs, alcohol, porn or food won’t make it disappear. It won’t help you relax. It will just add another 6 months, a year, or 5 years to your struggle.Turn to books, short walks, or maybe a movie. Keep it simple. Life is complicated enough with depression alone.

Advertising

6. Eat At Home Whenever Possible

Healthy food can be a pain to cook when your energy is at zero. It can be expensive to buy. It takes time. Do it anyway. Perhaps on Mondays, make and drink a healthy smoothie. Add healthy fats for your brain like Omega 3s, flaxseed oil, etc. to give your smoothie a boost.

7. Have A Simple Routine

Have something you do at least once a week. It could be: walking the dog, putting on your shoes, a walk around the block upon rising, tea before bed, or 5 minutes of journal writing on Wednesdays. The momentum will help rebuild your sense of confidence and control over your life.

Advertising

8. Stay In Bed

“What you resist persists”, goes the saying. Don’t attempt to “shake off” depression by planning a major vacation, spending a lot of money, or starting a new exercise program. These are sneaky little ways of self-sabotage only to “hate” your life even more. Stay in bed. Feel the pain. Do your once a week routine, drink your smoothie, and go back to bed.  Soon or later your once a week routine will turn into a few days and so on. Trust the process.

9. Protect Yourself

Keep “happy” people at bay. Seriously.  Depression is a sensitive issue and the last thing you need is someone saying, “get over it” or “oh, you’ll feel better tomorrow”. Send a quick email or note to “happy” people that you need some downtime. Tell them when to check in with you: every 2 weeks, a month, etc. Some will persist, but set your boundaries to keep you healthy. During this “cave time”, you may notice that the only friends you have are other depressed people you meet online or in groups. Seeing yourself in others empowers you to change and take control of your own life.

10. Buy Good Sheets

If you’re spending lots of time in bed, you might as well make it comfortable. Get hi-quality sheets. This is a small step but it’s a step in the right direction towards learning to take care of your own needs.

Life is a perpetual cycle of do-overs. Establishing these steps will help you the next time depression slips in and remind you of how to come back to yourself again.

Featured photo credit: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/ via Marisa McClellan

More by this author

If You Are Always Criticizing Your Partner, Read This 16 Sad Songs to Listen to When You Need a Good Cry 15 Things That Introverts Would Never Tell You How You Can Learn to Code Right Now for Free 7 Ways To Make Friends As An Introvert

Trending in Communication

1 How to Forgive Yourself and Move Forward for a Happier Life 2 How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide) 3 How to Improve Intimacy in Your Marriage and Rekindle the Passion 4 What To Do If My Wife Doesn’t Respect Me 5 13 Simple Ways To Express Gratitude Daily

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on April 14, 2021

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

Expressing Anger

Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

Being Passive-Aggressive

This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

Advertising

Poorly-Timed

Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

Ongoing Anger

Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

Healthy Ways to Express Anger

What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

Being Honest

Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

Being Direct

Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

Advertising

Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

Being Timely

When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

How to Deal With Anger

If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

1. Slow Down

From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

Advertising

When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

2. Focus on the “I”

Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

3. Work out

When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

If you’re not sure where to start with an exercise routine, check out Lifehack’s free Simple Cardio Home Workout Plan.

4. Seek Help When Needed

There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

Advertising

5. Practice Relaxation

We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

6. Laugh

Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

7. Be Grateful

It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

Final Thoughts

Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

More Resources on Anger Management

Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next