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10 Things Parents Should Stop Expecting For Their Children

10 Things Parents Should Stop Expecting For Their Children

Every parent has a sense of responsibility towards their children. Through their affection and love, they also expect their kids to show intense appreciation for whatever they have given to them. However, nothing is perfect in any relationship. Amazing rewards and difficult suffering are what our kids offer to us. Loving our children means that we have to adjust our thoughts and not set the bar too high for them. Tolerating their misbehavior means understanding that children will always be children, and they can be sneaky, irritating, and discomforting. Here are some things you should not expect for your children.

1. A perfect report card

We all want our children to get great grades, something we can be proud of and brag about to our friends and relatives. But children have different ways to respond to education. Most children need to be guided and nurtured through the education process. Even Albert Einstein and Steve Jobs didn’t get A’s in elementary school. Offer them the opportunity to grow and they may end up earning better grades with time.

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2. A sudden and abrupt change to who you want them to be

Possibly your son or daughter loves to cry for anything they want and this irritates you or they love to watch TV over doing their assignments, you should make it clear that you want them to change and improve their behavior. It is understandable to have standard and requirements that will push to become better kids, but don’t expect this improvement to be swift and sudden. Sometimes change can be gradual and progressive.

3. They will only do what you tell them rather than what you do

You should understand that children can be more reactive than responsive in certain situations. They are not robotic and are more likely to do what they see you do rather than what they hear you say. Try to lead by example. If you want them not to lie, don’t lie to them. If you don’t want them to use obscene words, don’t use them yourself.

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4. They will always be grateful for everything you have given them

Expecting that they will be more than thankful for the school expenses you take care of or that you provide them with good food and cool clothes may be expecting too much. Children are not perfect and often ungrateful; they can believe that it is simply their right to have these things, and that as a parent you should fix everything. It is better to inculcate the concept of gratitude in them rather than expect them to be grateful for everything you have given them.

5. They will fit into the idea of what you want them to be

You may love the neighbor’s daughter for always being decent and speaking intelligently. You may expect the same from your kids and try to demand this from them. Yet it is very difficult to make them fit into the idea of what you want them to be because they are nurtured under a different environment and have different personalities, strengths, and weaknesses. It is best to work with the positive qualities you see in them rather than condemn or expect too much from them.

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6. They will always be forgiving

Children can be stressed out sometimes. Parents could suddenly get a divorce, or move to another country, or lose their jobs and put the family on a financial strain. Children cannot always be forgiving when they are caught as victims and get so emotionally involved in something they are not responsible for. It is best to practice forgiveness first and trust they will do the same with time.

7. They will not be concerned about how you treat each other

It will be best to manage your emotions in front of your kids. The emotions they should see you display should be positive ones. If you talk down to your spouse, you should expect the same from them when they eventually grow up.

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8. That everything is okay

Everything is never okay. Every kid has his or her struggles, and yours is no exception. Try to be there for them through their insecurities. Reach out to them to gain knowledge of what they are going through. Kids will always need your understanding rather than you assumptions.

9. They will not try to get away with anything

Sometimes, allowing your kids to learn a life lesson from a situation can make them better persons more than punishing them would. They are not perfect and will make mistakes. Yet let them understand that there are consequences for every action. This is better than pushing them to make more bad choices by covering up their every action. Be open and offer room for little errors.

10. They will never get it wrong

I remember when I misplaced forty dollars when I was sent on an errand as a child. I had gone to play at a friend’s house rather than just going to buy what my mother sent me. Even before returning home or before my mom gave me a scolding, I felt terrible about it. As parents, we make mistakes. My mistakes sometimes are due not only to negligence, but also overconfidence. Children shouldn’t have an umbrella of perfection hovering over them.

Featured photo credit: http://www.pixabay.com via pixabay.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on June 26, 2020

10 Things To Remember When Everything Goes Wrong

10 Things To Remember When Everything Goes Wrong

Problems and heartaches in life are inevitable. However, there are some things to remember when you’re right in the thick of it that can help you get through it. When everything seems to be going wrong, practice telling yourself these things.

1. This Too Shall Pass

Sometimes life’s rough patches feel like they’re going to last forever. Whether you’re dealing with work-related issues, family problems, or stressful situations, very few problems last for a lifetime. So remind yourself, that things won’t be this bad forever.

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2. Some Things are Going Right

When things are going wrong, it’s hard to recognize what is going right. It’s easy to screen out the good things and only focus on the bad things. Remind yourself that some things are going right. Purposely look for the positive, even if it is something very small.

3. I Have Some Control

One of the most most important things to remember is that you have some control of the situation. Even if you aren’t in complete control of the situation, one thing you can always control is your attitude and reaction. Focus on managing what is within your control.

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4. I Can Ask for Help

Asking for help can be hard sometimes. However, it’s one of the best ways to deal with tough situations. Tell people what you need specifically if they offer to help. Don’t be afraid to call on friends and family and ask them for help, whether you need financial assistance, emotional support, or practical help.

5. Much of This Won’t Matter in a Few Years

Most of the problems we worry about today won’t actually matter five years from now. Remind yourself that whatever is going wrong now is only a small percentage of your actual life. Even if you’re dealing with a major problem, like a loved one’s illness, remember that a lot of good things are likely to happen in the course of a year or two as well.

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6. I Can Handle This

A lack of confidence in handling tough times can add to stress. One of the best things to remember is that you can handle tough situations. Even though you might feel angry, hurt, disappointed, or sad, it won’t kill you. You can get through it.

7. Something Good Will Come Out of This

No matter how bad a situation is, it’s almost certain that something good will come out of it. At the very least, it’s likely that you will learn a life lesson. Perhaps you learn not to repeat the same mistake in the future or maybe you move on from a bad situation and find something better. Look for the one good thing that can result when bad things happen.

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8. I Can Accept What’s Out of my Control

There are many things that aren’t within your control. You can’t change the past, another person’s behavior, or a loved one’s health issues. Don’t waste time trying to force others to change or trying to make things be different if it isn’t within your control. Investing time and energy into trying to things you can’t will cause you to feel helpless and exhausted. Acceptance is one of the best way to establish resilience.

9. I Have Overcome Past Difficulties

One of the things to remember when you’re facing difficulties, is that you’ve handled problems in the past. Don’t overlook past difficulties that you’ve dealt with successfully. Remind yourself of all the past problems you’ve overcome and you’ll gain confidence in dealing with the current issues.

10. I Need to Take Care of Myself

When everything seems to be going wrong, take care of yourself. Get plenty of rest, get some exercise, eat healthy, and spend some time doing leisure activities. When you’re taking better care of yourself you’ll be better equipped to deal with your problems.

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Featured photo credit: NeONBRAND via unsplash.com

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