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10 Things Parents Should Stop Expecting For Their Children

10 Things Parents Should Stop Expecting For Their Children

Every parent has a sense of responsibility towards their children. Through their affection and love, they also expect their kids to show intense appreciation for whatever they have given to them. However, nothing is perfect in any relationship. Amazing rewards and difficult suffering are what our kids offer to us. Loving our children means that we have to adjust our thoughts and not set the bar too high for them. Tolerating their misbehavior means understanding that children will always be children, and they can be sneaky, irritating, and discomforting. Here are some things you should not expect for your children.

1. A perfect report card

We all want our children to get great grades, something we can be proud of and brag about to our friends and relatives. But children have different ways to respond to education. Most children need to be guided and nurtured through the education process. Even Albert Einstein and Steve Jobs didn’t get A’s in elementary school. Offer them the opportunity to grow and they may end up earning better grades with time.

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2. A sudden and abrupt change to who you want them to be

Possibly your son or daughter loves to cry for anything they want and this irritates you or they love to watch TV over doing their assignments, you should make it clear that you want them to change and improve their behavior. It is understandable to have standard and requirements that will push to become better kids, but don’t expect this improvement to be swift and sudden. Sometimes change can be gradual and progressive.

3. They will only do what you tell them rather than what you do

You should understand that children can be more reactive than responsive in certain situations. They are not robotic and are more likely to do what they see you do rather than what they hear you say. Try to lead by example. If you want them not to lie, don’t lie to them. If you don’t want them to use obscene words, don’t use them yourself.

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4. They will always be grateful for everything you have given them

Expecting that they will be more than thankful for the school expenses you take care of or that you provide them with good food and cool clothes may be expecting too much. Children are not perfect and often ungrateful; they can believe that it is simply their right to have these things, and that as a parent you should fix everything. It is better to inculcate the concept of gratitude in them rather than expect them to be grateful for everything you have given them.

5. They will fit into the idea of what you want them to be

You may love the neighbor’s daughter for always being decent and speaking intelligently. You may expect the same from your kids and try to demand this from them. Yet it is very difficult to make them fit into the idea of what you want them to be because they are nurtured under a different environment and have different personalities, strengths, and weaknesses. It is best to work with the positive qualities you see in them rather than condemn or expect too much from them.

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6. They will always be forgiving

Children can be stressed out sometimes. Parents could suddenly get a divorce, or move to another country, or lose their jobs and put the family on a financial strain. Children cannot always be forgiving when they are caught as victims and get so emotionally involved in something they are not responsible for. It is best to practice forgiveness first and trust they will do the same with time.

7. They will not be concerned about how you treat each other

It will be best to manage your emotions in front of your kids. The emotions they should see you display should be positive ones. If you talk down to your spouse, you should expect the same from them when they eventually grow up.

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8. That everything is okay

Everything is never okay. Every kid has his or her struggles, and yours is no exception. Try to be there for them through their insecurities. Reach out to them to gain knowledge of what they are going through. Kids will always need your understanding rather than you assumptions.

9. They will not try to get away with anything

Sometimes, allowing your kids to learn a life lesson from a situation can make them better persons more than punishing them would. They are not perfect and will make mistakes. Yet let them understand that there are consequences for every action. This is better than pushing them to make more bad choices by covering up their every action. Be open and offer room for little errors.

10. They will never get it wrong

I remember when I misplaced forty dollars when I was sent on an errand as a child. I had gone to play at a friend’s house rather than just going to buy what my mother sent me. Even before returning home or before my mom gave me a scolding, I felt terrible about it. As parents, we make mistakes. My mistakes sometimes are due not only to negligence, but also overconfidence. Children shouldn’t have an umbrella of perfection hovering over them.

Featured photo credit: http://www.pixabay.com via pixabay.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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