Advertising
Advertising

10 Things Parents Should Stop Expecting For Their Children

10 Things Parents Should Stop Expecting For Their Children

Every parent has a sense of responsibility towards their children. Through their affection and love, they also expect their kids to show intense appreciation for whatever they have given to them. However, nothing is perfect in any relationship. Amazing rewards and difficult suffering are what our kids offer to us. Loving our children means that we have to adjust our thoughts and not set the bar too high for them. Tolerating their misbehavior means understanding that children will always be children, and they can be sneaky, irritating, and discomforting. Here are some things you should not expect for your children.

1. A perfect report card

We all want our children to get great grades, something we can be proud of and brag about to our friends and relatives. But children have different ways to respond to education. Most children need to be guided and nurtured through the education process. Even Albert Einstein and Steve Jobs didn’t get A’s in elementary school. Offer them the opportunity to grow and they may end up earning better grades with time.

Advertising

2. A sudden and abrupt change to who you want them to be

Possibly your son or daughter loves to cry for anything they want and this irritates you or they love to watch TV over doing their assignments, you should make it clear that you want them to change and improve their behavior. It is understandable to have standard and requirements that will push to become better kids, but don’t expect this improvement to be swift and sudden. Sometimes change can be gradual and progressive.

3. They will only do what you tell them rather than what you do

You should understand that children can be more reactive than responsive in certain situations. They are not robotic and are more likely to do what they see you do rather than what they hear you say. Try to lead by example. If you want them not to lie, don’t lie to them. If you don’t want them to use obscene words, don’t use them yourself.

Advertising

4. They will always be grateful for everything you have given them

Expecting that they will be more than thankful for the school expenses you take care of or that you provide them with good food and cool clothes may be expecting too much. Children are not perfect and often ungrateful; they can believe that it is simply their right to have these things, and that as a parent you should fix everything. It is better to inculcate the concept of gratitude in them rather than expect them to be grateful for everything you have given them.

5. They will fit into the idea of what you want them to be

You may love the neighbor’s daughter for always being decent and speaking intelligently. You may expect the same from your kids and try to demand this from them. Yet it is very difficult to make them fit into the idea of what you want them to be because they are nurtured under a different environment and have different personalities, strengths, and weaknesses. It is best to work with the positive qualities you see in them rather than condemn or expect too much from them.

Advertising

6. They will always be forgiving

Children can be stressed out sometimes. Parents could suddenly get a divorce, or move to another country, or lose their jobs and put the family on a financial strain. Children cannot always be forgiving when they are caught as victims and get so emotionally involved in something they are not responsible for. It is best to practice forgiveness first and trust they will do the same with time.

7. They will not be concerned about how you treat each other

It will be best to manage your emotions in front of your kids. The emotions they should see you display should be positive ones. If you talk down to your spouse, you should expect the same from them when they eventually grow up.

Advertising

8. That everything is okay

Everything is never okay. Every kid has his or her struggles, and yours is no exception. Try to be there for them through their insecurities. Reach out to them to gain knowledge of what they are going through. Kids will always need your understanding rather than you assumptions.

9. They will not try to get away with anything

Sometimes, allowing your kids to learn a life lesson from a situation can make them better persons more than punishing them would. They are not perfect and will make mistakes. Yet let them understand that there are consequences for every action. This is better than pushing them to make more bad choices by covering up their every action. Be open and offer room for little errors.

10. They will never get it wrong

I remember when I misplaced forty dollars when I was sent on an errand as a child. I had gone to play at a friend’s house rather than just going to buy what my mother sent me. Even before returning home or before my mom gave me a scolding, I felt terrible about it. As parents, we make mistakes. My mistakes sometimes are due not only to negligence, but also overconfidence. Children shouldn’t have an umbrella of perfection hovering over them.

Featured photo credit: http://www.pixabay.com via pixabay.com

More by this author

Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

8 Reasons Risk Takers Are More Likely To Be Successful 15 Signs Of Self-Absorbed People Master These 15 Skills for Success to Get Ahead in Your Career Follow This Simple Success Formula to Stop Feeling Stuck in Life 20 Signs You’re A Charming Person Though You Are Not Aware

Trending in Communication

1 12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now 2 How to Use the 5 Minute Journal to Invest in Your Happiness 3 What’s the Purpose of Life? A Guide to Live with Meaning 4 Why Happiness is a Choice (And a Smart One to Make) 5 How to Survive a Midlife Crisis (The Definitive Guide for Men)

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on January 16, 2020

12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

The way you feel about yourself greatly influences how you live and interact with others. If you are confident about yourself, you tend to see yourself positively and actually enjoy spending time with and around people. You don’t feel self-conscious or awkward around others, and that allows you to live your fullest and happiest life.

However, if you’re drowning in a sea of self-doubt, hesitancy and shyness, you often withdraw and isolate yourself from others and avoid interacting and connecting with people. That anxiety you feel in the pit of your stomach when you are around people is holding you back greatly and it is not good for your emotional health and overall well-being. You need to do something about it if you are low in self-confidence or have friends or family members who are not confident.

“Confidence isn’t walking into a room thinking you’re better than everyone, it’s walking in not having to compare yourself to anyone” – Anonymous

Here are simple, practical tips to boost your confidence right now and make you feel and act your best.

1. Stop labeling yourself as awkward, timid or shy.

When you label yourself as awkward, timid or shy, you sub-consciously tell your mind to act accordingly and psychologically feel inclined to live up to those expectations. Instead of labeling and entertaining negative self-talk, visualize and affirm yourself as confident and strong. Close your eyes for a minute and visualize yourself in different situation as you would like to be.

Be your own cheerleader. Experts believe that positive affirmation and good mental practices like picturing yourself winning or achieving a goal can lead to greater feelings of self-assurance and prepare your brain for success.[1] As the saying goes, “seeing is believing.” Picture yourself as confident and soon enough you will begin to manifest behavior that gives evidence to this new ‘fact.’

2. Recognize that the world is not focused on you (unless, of course, you are Kanye West).

That means you don’t have to be excessively sensitive about who you are or what you are doing (or not doing). You are not on the center stage; there is no need for preoccupation with self and perfectionism. As rap music star Rocko sings, “You just do you and I will do me, aight?”

Advertising

Forget about trying to please everyone or being perfect. Trying to be perfect and being a people-pleaser puts too much pressure on you and creates unnecessary anxiety. Besides, people are too preoccupied with their own issues to pay much attention to your every move unless, of course, you are a mega famous, super celebrity like Beyonce or Kanye West.

3. Focus on other people as opposed to yourself.

If you are low on confidence, self-conscious, nervous and shy in social situations, focus your attention on other people and what they are saying or doing instead of focusing on your own awkwardness.

For example, think about what it is that is interesting about the person who’s the centre of the party or the guy or girl you are talking with. Prompt them to talk more about themselves and be genuinely curious and interested in what they say. You will instantly come across as confident and warmhearted.

People generally want to talk about themselves, be heard and understood. They will love it when you’re eager and willing to listen to them and really hear what they have to say.

This habit of focusing more on what you love in others as opposed to what you dislike in yourself will not only help you become more assertive and comfortable in virtually all social situations, but also instantly make you feel great about yourself.

4. Know (and accept) yourself for who you are.

Chinese military general, strategist and philosopher Sun Tzu, author of the internationally acclaimed book The Art of War, said, “Know yourself and you will win all battles.” Even in the battle with lack of confidence, you will need to know yourself to win.

Knowing yourself starts with understanding that people are not all the same, neither are all social situation suitable for everyone. You might not be confident in large gatherings, but you could be bold and confident in one-on-one and small group interactions. We all have our own unique gifts and unique ways of expressing ourselves. Embrace yours!

Advertising

Introverts, for example, have a quiet confidence that is, unfortunately, often confused for shyness. They are naturally low key and prefer to spend time alone. However, this natural disposition affords them certain unique gifts, such as an ability to listen better than most people and notice things that others don’t.

Your uniqueness is where your strength and advantage lies. You won’t be comfortable and confident in all situations all the time. Albert Einstein said,

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

5. Crack a smile.

If there is one sure way to instantly boost your confidence, it’s cracking a smile. Christine Clapp, a public speaking expert at The George Washington University, says that flashing those pretty, pearly white teeth will immediately make you appear both confident and composed. But, the effect of smiling is not just external. Studies show that smiling can also help nix feelings of stress and pave the way for a happier and more relaxed you.[2]

Not a bad return for something seemingly so trite, wouldn’t you agree?

6. Break a sweat—with exercise.

Working out is another great way to make yourself feel amazing and confident. Science has shown that exercising increases your endorphins, helps reduce stress, tones your muscles and makes you feel happy and confident.[3]

And hey, all you have to do is take a walk a few times a week and you’ll see the benefits. What seems to matter—as far as your confidence goes—is whether you break a sweat, not how strenuous your session is, which is pretty cool. Start working out now.

Advertising

7. Groom yourself.

This might seem mundane, but it’s amazing how much of a difference a shower and shave can have on your confidence and self-image. And when you spritz on a scent, the boost on confidence and self-esteem is incredible. As it turns out, your favorite fragrance does more than make you smell oh-so-nice.

A study found that a fragrance can inspire confidence in men. Interestingly, the study also found that the more a man likes the fragrance, the more confident he might feel. Another study found that 90% of women feel more confident while wearing a scent than those who go fragrance-free.

8. Dress nicely.

Another one that might seem trite, but it works. If you dress nicely, you’ll instantly feel good about yourself and give your confidence a real boost. That is largely because you’ll feel attractive, presentable and sometimes even successful in nice clothes.

While dressing nicely means something different for everyone, it does not necessarily mean wearing $500 designer outfits. It means wearing clothes that are clean, that you are comfortable in and that are nice-looking and presentable, including casual clothes.

9. Do activities you enjoy.

Whether it is reading a book, playing a musical instrument, riding your bicycle or going fishing, do what you really enjoy and what makes you truly happy often. It will boost your self-esteem, soothe your ego and allow you to identify with your gifts and talents. That will in turn bolster your self-belief and grow your confidence exponentially.

You might not become popular for doing what you love, but you might not even want to be popular at all. Being popular doesn’t make you happy; doing what you love does.

10. Prepare for the possibility of rejection / setback.

Late World No. 1 professional tennis player Arthur Ashe said, “One important key to success is self-confidence. A key to self-confidence is preparation.” You need to prepare for the possibility of rejection and setback.

Advertising

Why?

Everybody suffers rejection and setback at one point or another. You are not exempted. The question on your mind, therefore, should not be if you will be rejected, but how you will handle rejection when it comes.

Prepare yourself adequately in every situation to minimize the risk and effect of rejection and so that your confidence is not broken. For example, learn public speaking and rehearse what you are going to say beforehand if you have landed a public speaking engagement. That way, you are sure of yourself and confident you have what it takes to hack it. If you are rejected, don’t take it personally.

Rejection and setbacks happen to the best of us. Take it as a learning experience. Learn from your mistakes and move on.

11. Face uncomfortable situations square in the face.

Don’t run away from uncomfortable situations. Running away from people or situations because you feel scared, shy or timid only confirms and reinforces your shyness. Instead, face the situation that makes you uneasy square in the face. For example, go ahead and talk to that person you are afraid to approach, or go straight to the front of your yoga class! What’s the worst that can happen?

Prepare and be ready for any eventuality. The more you face your fears, the more you realize you are stronger than you thought and the more confident you get. This simple, yet admittedly courageous, act makes you unstoppable. You get comfortable being uncomfortable and begin to feel like you can take on the world. And that is the hallmark of someone destined for great things.

12. Sit up straight and walk tall—you are awesome!

Yes, sit up straight and believe you are awesome. Don’t slump in your chair or slouch your shoulders. Experts say the right stance can not only keep your self-esteem and mood lifted, but also lead to more confidence in your own thoughts.[4]

The way to sit is to open up your chest and keep your head level so that you look and feel poised and assured. And when you get up, stand tall and walk like you’re on a mission. People who sit up straight and walk tall are more attractive and instantly feel more confident. Try it now: you’ll feel fierce and confident just by sitting up straight and walking tall.

Featured photo credit: Freshh Connection via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next